Shadow Boxer: NA Fantasy/Time Travel (Tesla Time Travelers Book 2) (18 page)

My breath is fast and shallow, and my heart is pounding.

Behind me, someone claps in a slow and methodical beat.

I whirl around.

Constantine stands at the edge of the field, his features unreadable in the flickering light. I snuff my lightning. He shouldn’t be here. He’s supposed to be in Rome with Aurelia and Anna. I glance at the moon as if I can figure out what year it is.

He drops his hands and crosses the field until he’s two feet away.

Now I have to explain why I came.

“I wondered when I’d see you again.”

“How—” I cough and clear my throat. “How long?”

“Since you were at my house? Since you were on time for a training? Since our meeting on the dock?”

There’s a crispness to his voice. I can’t tell if he’s mad or busy or what. “Um, since we trained.”

“Two years.”

“And you’re here again now.” I didn’t mean for it to be so long. I wanted to… train with him.

A sharp nod. I can’t get a read off his emotions—not that I ever could, but tonight his warrior mask is on tight.

He toes the crispy remains. “Impressive work.”

“Sorry about that.”

He shrugs. “We have more. If my men fought like you… ” His words trail off and he lifts his gaze to mine, searching me.

I wonder if he still sees a stranger. The complete opposite of who I see. My heart twists and my guts knot. For a few days by the river, I let myself believe we could have something, even if it was just us starting over while he helped me figure out my lightning again. Anna’s insight about his lonely wanderings only added to my illusion.

I was a fool.

I need to go.

And never, ever come back.

The corners of his eyes crease, and the left edge of his mouth lifts. “I’m glad you came.”

But before I go, I want to live these moments to the fullest. No matter what we are to each other now, there’s one place where we can come together without question or apology. Where lost time slips away, uncounted, unmourned. “Will you train me?”

His voice is a whisper. “I already did.”

“You remember?” Tears spring to my eyes. I’m not sure if he’s remembering an afternoon three years ago, or something we did a few days ago. I’m terrified to ask.

His sword sings against its scabbard as he unsheathes it. “Let’s find out.”

This is what I need. He is what I need. I laugh and race to the middle of the field.

When the gap between us widens to something I think I can defend, I spin around, wrapping coils of lightning around me like a force field.

He grins. “Cheater.”

“You taught me to win at all costs.”

He tips his head in silent agreement. “Yes, but you’ve been practicing.”

“Only in my head.”

“A warrior’s best training field.”

My lightning is rotating slowly, but so is Constantine, looking for a way past it.

“Does that mean you surrender?” I tease.

He looks away from the lightning and the warrior sternness in his features is far from defeat. If he remembers my fighting, he’s forgotten my teasing.

“Standing behind a barrier is not winning. Are you surrendering as well?”

“Not a chance.” I lift my chin.

“Then drop it and fight me with your weapon.” He takes a few steps back and lowers his sword. There’s nothing relaxed about his posture. If I drop my shield, he’ll charge me.

And I know I can handle it.

Without changing the coil in my left hand, I flip my right hand open and make another whip. He widens his stance.

In a single motion, I drop the coil and bring my hands together. He ducks and rolls.

He dives behind me, but I leap to the left and turn, throwing a ball simultaneously. He grunts and I smile. We cross the field, trading the upper hand back and forth. When he rushes me, my aim is still inconsistent. It’s my only weakness, but he hammers at my Achilles’ heel. Again and again he speeds toward me.

He backs me into the targets and I trip over a broken one, landing hard on my side. My breath bangs from my lungs and I gasp, desperate for a drink of air. I roll to my back and cross my raised arms in defense. He launches himself and buries his sword in the ground next to my head. Knees on either side of my hips, he uses his weight to imprison me. I gasp and choke.

“Slow breaths,” he says. “I didn’t hurt you.”

I try inhaling again and my eyes water.

He rocks back on his heels, taking the pressure off my hips. Tiny molecules of air make their way into my lungs and I wheeze.

If I weren’t on the verge of dying, I’d roll my eyes. If there’s one thing I’ve never managed around Constantine, it’s being classy.

He leans closer. “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” I croak, letting my arms fall out to the sides. I drink in three more huge gulps of air.

His fierce look relaxes, and his mouth softens. He brushes strands of my wild hair out of my face and behind my ear, but doesn’t take his fingers away. He trails them across my jaw.

I shiver. This was a thousand kinds of dumb, coming here to torture myself. Even if he hadn’t been here, being on this field would have made all the memories resurface anyway. Having him here is making it infinitely worse. Training in Rome, I can kid myself into making this work—can pretend we’re nothing more than teacher and student.

I should have left ten minutes ago when I figured that out. Staying here isn’t helping me to get over him and move on.

His touch feathers the length of my nose, and traces my hairline. My breath hitches at the back of my throat. I’m afraid of making even the slightest movement.

He licks his lips. “I remember other things.”

“Y–you do?”

“Even though I know it’s not possible, as I read the journal, my images are memories. I’m not reading a stranger’s account, I’m replaying something that happened.” He shakes his head slowly. “I hear the sounds, see the colors… ”

“Like what?” I croak. I want to hear it. I want to hear him tell me what he remembers. Even though I know there’s no way he really could be remembering. But I have to know.
 

Because there’s not a single moment with him that I’ve forgotten.

The pad of his thumb rubs my bottom lip. I press my tongue into the back of my teeth to keep from licking him. Or worse.

His fingers rest on my pulse, rising and falling with each heartbeat. He mirrors that hand with his other, cradling my face. I swallow and blink at least a dozen times. To our left, a night bird sings a lonely song.

My song.

He closes his eyes.

I dig my fingers into the damp ground beneath me. Tendrils of lightning impale the earth, ready to send me home when I demand.

And I’m going to…
 

In one more second.

I memorize his face. The sharp angle of his eyebrows, the uneven hairline where a scar on his forehead extends, the crooked tilt of his nose, the brush of his eyelashes against his cheeks, the way his lips never quite touch in the center, like a secret entrance to somewhere sacred.

My eyes burn.

This is goodbye.

C
HAPTER
19

B
EFORE
THE
DARKNESS
takes me, he sighs and lowers his face. “I remember this.”

Soft, firm lips cover mine, giving me back life. Every muscle in my body is taut, and my hands curl deeper into the ground. He deepens the assault, suckling my lower lip and tugging it between his teeth. One hand sweeps into my braid, and the other traces the line of my collarbone and down.

I inhale and open myself to him.

His hand covers my right breast, softly palming and lifting until I arch into him. He kisses the corner of my mouth and makes a trail to my earlobe, rimming the edge with his tongue. I moan. A warm puff of his breath fills my ear and flows down the back of my neck, raising the tiny hairs at the base of my braid. I bite my lip and grasp fistfuls of dirt.

“I remember this,” he whispers, licking and kissing the length of my neck. His thumbnail rakes the side of my breast and down my rib cage. At my hip bone, his fingers slip beneath my shirt and he brushes the skin at my belly button, making my insides jerk. He slides my shirt up, exposing my bra. His head lowers and he tastes my nipples through the blue lace.

I arch off the dirt and grab fistfuls of his hair. Startled, he lifts his head. A slight smile plays on his lips.

I want to tell him he’s impossible to forget, but I tug his head up to me instead. My tongue dips into his mouth and I finger his curls. He rolls over, taking me with him and flattening my body along his length. His hands slide over my bare spine, pressing into my skin. Fingers dip beneath my waistband, skimming the edge of my panties. My legs drop to the sides of his, and I tuck my feet beneath his knees, pressing us closer. He slips a hand beneath my bra, and fabric rips. My shirt is over my head and a cool breeze lifts goose bumps across my back. Then his hands warm them away, leaving a trail across my back and through my core.

Hands caress my sides and tighten, pulling me so he can taste my bare nipples. I moan and brace my hands on either side of his head. I grind my hips against his and open my eyes to watch his slow travel from breast to breast.

Moonlight bathes us in a silvery glow, and if I don’t look away, I can convince myself that we’re floating on a cloud somewhere where time stands still and I don’t have two very big responsibilities knocking on the door of my mind.

Strong fingers wrap around my ass, hitching me higher until our bodies fit together, and he lifts his hips into mine. I moan.

Just a vacuous girl, enjoying a simple night with a man.
 

He deepens the kiss and obnoxious thoughts won’t leave me alone. Is this what our relationship is now—I show up every couple of years, and we try to kill each other then rip each other’s clothes off?

Do I care?

He presses harder against me. I don’t want to care.

But I do.

I break away and prop my elbows on his chest, burying my face in my hands. “I can’t do this.”

He skims his fingers up and down my arm. “I remember telling you I’d come with you.”

I look away. I remember that, too.

“There’s too much I still don’t know. Penya is still missing.”

He jerks upright. “What?”

I tumble to the dirt and he scoops me into his lap. While he’s settling me, I reach for my shirt and drape it across my chest, tucking the ends under my armpits.

“When?”

I study him. “You really don’t know?”

“I saw her today.”

I do quick math. The timeline for us is so confusing. It makes sense that if I’m here before I was here and we haven’t killed Viriato, Penya is helping him win battles, and she hasn’t been kidnapped.

“When I come back later, Ilif kidnaps Penya—”

“Who is this Ilif? Why can’t we eliminate him before that happens?”

My chest tightens until I can barely suck in air. “How do you always do that?”

He lifts an eyebrow.

“You ask the questions I don’t ever think of… the obvious ones.”

“Does that mean I can kill him?”

I snort. “No—I mean, we better not.”

“You are confusing.”

I readjust myself on his lap. Even though I should get off, I can’t. “I hate him, and my life would probably be easier, but—” I shiver. “No. Thank you… Please don’t kill him.”

He curls his hand around my nape and tucks my head beneath his chin. “You’ll tell me if you change your mind?”

I nod, bumping my hair against his jaw. “First to know… ”

“Tell me of Penya, then.”

I lean into his heat. She can’t figure out when or where she is.” I sigh and sink into his chest. “I need her.”

He wraps his arms around me and rubs my back, rocking slightly.

A doe pokes her head out from a tangle of limbs twenty feet to our right. Constantine watches her move toward us, gingerly picking her steps, ears flicking back and forth.

“I need Penya, too.” His fingers slide to my nape. “You need me.”

Understatement of the year.

“I do. But… I need you here, too. I need a place that stays the same. And I don’t ever want to endanger you.”

He snorts.

“You’ve only travel forward once, and we only managed that because we used my power. The books say no one can travel beyond their own death date.”

“Then I’ll travel again by your lightning.”

I jerk upright. “I’ve barely put your life back together. No.”

“I can handle myself.” He sounds offended.

“No, you can’t. You haven’t even gone to Papi’s house with me yet. You don’t know anything about the future. You certainly can’t go yanking your sword out all the time like you do here.”

“I do not yank.”

“You’re missing the point. It’s already dangerous, and I have no idea what Ilif is up to.”

“More reason you need me.”

True, but I can barely concentrate when Constantine
isn’t
with me.

“Maybe later.”

“I don’t like being apart.”

I chew my bottom lip. I don’t know how to answer that. This is a circular conversation. I can’t stay here. He can’t come with me. We’re the ultimate failure of a long-distance relationship. Not that we have one… We’re can’t even get long-distance booty calls right.

I pull back and lift my hand to his cheek. I don’t want us to be just sex. We’ve been through too much together. When I’m with him, there’s no pretending.

And I hate being apart, too.

Which is going to make this next part really awful.

“I have to go.” I slide off his lap and tug my shirt back on.

He stands and offers me his hand. The pain and disappointment on his face makes me flinch.

“I’ll come back,” I say, putting my hand in his.

“And I’m to wait, then?” He drops my hand and takes a step away, yanking his sword out of the dirt and wiping the blade across the hem of his tunic.

“No.” I cross my arms. What just happened? I want to rewind to the kissing and not arguing. “I never asked you to wait. I think I’ve always been upfront about what I had to do.”

“Yes.” He jams his sword home.

I step closer. “Why are you being like this, then?”