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Authors: Rachel Hawthorne

BOOK: Shadow of the Moon
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“No, they didn’t teach me anything, and as far as I know, I’m not doing anything to close off my emotions.”

Incredulous, I stared at him. “But I don’t get a sense of what’s going through you. Your emotions don’t touch me—
at all
. I’ve never been around a Shifter whose emotions don’t touch me.”

“So you don’t know what I’m thinking?”

I shook my head. This was so difficult to explain. “I don’t tap into people’s thoughts. I can only sense the emotions: fear, anger, embarrassment, acceptance, lust—”

“Lust?” he interrupted me. “That must be awkward. So if some guy has the hots for some babe or she has the hots for—”

“I don’t know who they’re lusting after,” I cut in. Thank God for that, but if they were in the throes of passion…it could be unbearable and such an invasion of privacy. “Because again, I don’t know their thoughts. It’s like a…how do I explain this? A ball of energy. No, a water balloon. It slams into me and drenches me, so I experience it as though it’s part of me. All the physical reactions that a body has when we’re afraid or anxious or in love…my body responds as though the emotion were mine. If several Shifters are in the area, then I can be hit with different emotions jumbling around inside me. Unless someone is having a really intense emotional burst—then maybe the lesser emotions will be drowned out. If you couple that with my own emotions, it’s incredibly overwhelming and confusing. But I don’t feel that when I’m someplace that’s inhabited with only full humans.”

He either didn’t know how to respond to my lengthy discourse on what it was to be me or he was thinking about it, trying to make sense of it. I studied him for a minute. His story was that he’d come to us from another group of Shifters, but I didn’t know if anyone had checked it out. I thought about how easily I’d convinced Spike and the others that I was a college student on winter break—just looking for a temporary job. Perhaps Daniel wasn’t a Shifter after all. Like Brittany. Her father was human, her mother a Shifter, so I supposed she was part Shifter, but her human side dominated. She didn’t have the ability to shift, and her emotions never touched me. Was Daniel a mixture of Shifter and human? Or was he maybe a full human who had lied to infiltrate our clan? But then the question would be why? And he had managed to find me so he had mean tracking skills. I couldn’t help but be impressed.

Last summer, when I’d been at Wolford for a couple of weeks, I’d overheard other girls talking and giggling as they whispered about guys, comparing their wolfish attributes, but I’d never understood their interest. Until now. For the first time in my life, I was curious about another Shifter’s fur.

Our individual wolf coats are one of a kind, although it usually matches our hair to some extent. Like my sandy blond hair meant that I would be a light-colored wolf. Daniel with his black hair would have black fur. But there are still differences. Would it have a bluish tint? Would it be like a black hole? Like a night sky?

But I couldn’t recall hearing anyone talk about what he looked like in wolf form. And I hadn’t seen him that night in the clearing. How convenient. And if I thought about it too much: suspicious. I furrowed my brow. “But I get nothing coming from you. And I don’t recall anyone ever describing you in wolf form. Are you a Static?”

He laughed, a deep rich sound. “No. Don’t you think the elders, the other Shifters, would sense if I was?”

He had a point. Shifters could sense other Shifters, but only after our initial transformation. Everything changed when we were touched by our designated full moon. I didn’t want to contemplate all that awaited me—even the possibility of death.

“Yeah, I guess,” I muttered, wanting an easy explanation. “But if you’re a Shifter, why are your emotions cut off?”

“I don’t think they are.” He dipped an onion ring into the ketchup and proceeded to eat it as if I wasn’t dealing with an incomprehensible situation here. How could he be so unaffected? It irritated me that he wasn’t willing to help me solve this puzzle.

“Why aren’t they slamming into me?” I persisted.

“I don’t know.”

“Are you doing something to hold them back?”

“If I am, it’s subconscious. Or maybe it’s because we’re not at Wolford. Have you ever sensed Shifters’ emotions when you weren’t at Wolford?”

“Yes.” I’d lived with my parents in Tarrant, before they’d died. Humans and Shifters resided there, although the humans weren’t aware of our abilities. The small town was near the national forest that we considered our true home. As a child, I’d felt Shifters’ emotions—even when we were on vacation. My parents tried to take me places where there would be mostly humans, but Shifter families enjoy Disney World as much as humans do. I’d gotten lucky with Athena.

Daniel distracted me from my thoughts when he set his elbow on the table and bent his arm until his fingers touched strands of my hair. I’d released my hair from its clip before leaving work. Now it hung loose past my shoulders. “So you don’t
know
what I’m feeling right now?” he asked.

Swallowing hard, I thought it would be extremely easy to lose myself in his eyes, especially when he acted as though touching me was the most natural thing in the world for him. Why was he so comfortable around me when I was so uncomfortable around him? I’d never before flirted with a guy. I’d watched Lisa, picked up a few tips, but I’d never tried them out. As much as I wanted to with Daniel, I knew that he was here on a mission to take me back to Wolford. I didn’t want to fall under his spell. I turned my gaze away from him. “I think you’re messing with me.”

He kept his hand where it was, his fingers touching nothing but air now, his gaze roaming slowly over my face. “It must be very hard to be you.”

“You are the king of understatement.”

Slowly he sat back. “I know what you’re feeling toward me. Anger. Resentment. You’re no good at hiding it. But I’m just the messenger, Hayden.”

“No, you’re not. You’re the bounty hunter.” I leaned forward again, wanting him to see the desperation in my brown eyes. “Why don’t you just go back and tell them that you couldn’t find me?”

“Because three days ago you turned seventeen. Happy birthday, by the way. And in nine days your full moon will roll through the sky and you’ll go through your first transformation. You know a female Shifter risks death if she tries to go through it without a mate. And then there’s the harvester. You can’t face it alone.”

“I
have
to face it alone,” I insisted. “The harvester snatches a soul at the moment of transformation. To guide me through it, a mate would transform at the exact moment that I do—and
bam
!” I slapped my palm on the table for emphasis, not that my action startled him. His eyes didn’t so much as widen in surprise. “The harvester has us both.”

He assumed that stillness I’d seen in him earlier. There was only one movement: a slow blink.

“Do you see now?” I asked. “Do you understand?”

“The elders insist that I bring you back. Explain to them what you think will happen.”

“It would be better if I just stay here where there are only Statics. There’s a chance the harvester won’t even find me here. I’ve studied the transformation process as it’s described in the ancient texts. I really believe I can survive the physical pain.”

“Hayden.” He took my hand. Again I was surprised by the warmth of his touch and the spark of physical sensation it sent through me. But not one iota of emotion accompanied it. “Even if I don’t take you back to Wolford, your mate won’t let you go through your first transformation alone.”

Rolling my eyes, I scoffed. “Look, this is all moot. I don’t even have a mate.”

“Yes, you do. The elders chose one for you.”

God! They were worse than old maid aunts butting their noses into everything. Why couldn’t they just leave well enough alone? “They had no right—”

“They had every right. They’re not going to condemn a girl to death. They’ve chosen mates before for others when a guy doesn’t step forward.”

In frustration I shook my head. “I won’t accept him. Why would I put him at risk of facing the harvester and possibly dying without his soul secure? Why would they? They can’t control everything. They have to let this go.”

I was agitated, upset. We sat there in silence for a minute, while his thumb stroked over my knuckles. Back and forth. Almost hypnotic. I felt my tension easing away, found myself falling under his spell. I realized with alarm that he could probably convince me to return to Wolford with him without his actually uttering a word. With his calmness, his belief in his mission, his ease with intimacy, he was incredibly persuasive. It was unsettling when I stopped to think about it, because in truth we were practically strangers. We’d never even talked at Wolford, and he’d certainly never expressed an interest in me.

Then curiosity got the better of me. “So who’d they choose…to be my mate?”

He released my hand and touched my cheek, his eyes never straying from mine.

“Me.”

THREE

“Are you totally insane?” I asked, forcing myself not to shriek and draw attention to us. “You agreed to their crazy idea? Did you not get notified that I’m on the harvester’s playlist?”

He just looked at me as though he found me amusing.

I didn’t understand how a guy could let men who were old enough to be his grandfathers choose his mate. They’d tried to match him up with Brittany last summer, but she’d ditched him for Connor.

Okay, ditched was too harsh. Brittany had been in love with Connor forever, but he’d declared Lindsey as his mate, but then Lindsey fell in love with Rafe…. Suffice it to say that we had our own daytime soap going on back at Wolford.

Since Daniel was once again on the prowl for a mate, I guessed the elders had decided I would work well. I didn’t understand why someone hadn’t latched on to him before. If I were a normal Shifter, I certainly wouldn’t complain that they’d chosen him for me.

But I wasn’t normal. And I had a monster after me. I couldn’t do that to him—put him at risk like that. Why would he ever think I would?

As though reading my thoughts, he said, “The elders are scouring through the ancient texts. They’re going to find a way to defeat this thing. But you need to be at Wolford for their knowledge to do you any good. It’s safer there.”

“You don’t know that. They don’t know that. Why? Why would you want to be my mate? During the bonding all your defenses would be down. You’d be as vulnerable as I am. Why would you do that?” I knew I was repeating myself, but I didn’t know how else to make my point.

“I like to live dangerously,” he said.

“Yeah, well, then, take up bungee jumping.”

I got up out of the booth and headed for the door, acutely aware of his following me. My flight response warned me to head to the condo and prepare for my escape.

But this could be my last chance to mingle with a crowd and not be blasted with everyone’s emotions. So while I knew it wasn’t a wise move, when we stepped outside of the Burger Place, I said, “I’ll catch you later,” and turned away from the direction of the condo where I lived. Besides, I hoped by being casual that I’d throw Daniel off so he wouldn’t be suspicious. I needed him to be less vigilant if I was going to make a break for it before the night was over. People were strolling along the boardwalk, some heading home, some going in the direction I was.

“I’ll walk you home,” Daniel said, falling into step beside me.

“I’m not going home.”

“You will eventually.”

I spun around. He wasn’t even startled by my move, as though he’d expected it. That irritated me. “Look, I get it. You’re here to take me back to Wolford. You gave me a reprieve until Sunday, so until then I’m going to carry on with a normal life.” Or what was almost normal for me.

“I won’t interfere.”

“You will. Your very presence interferes.”

“I’m not leaving you alone, Hayden. Just in case you decide to take another”—he smirked—“
break
.”

“What does it matter since you can find me anywhere?”

As three guys brushed past us, we both stepped closer to the building. Somehow I ended up with my back to the wall, and Daniel rested his forearm above my head. “Don’t be a pain in my butt,” he said quietly. “I compromised. Gave you a few more days here. Now you compromise and accept that those days and nights are going to include me.”

My heart sped up at the thought of him spending all night with me. Honestly I’d never been this close to a guy—where I could actually smell his scent. One disadvantage to attending an all-girls school. Daniel smelled of the outdoors, a woodsy fire, sharp pine. I swallowed. “Not the entire night.”

“That’s your call. But until you’re safely tucked in, I’m at your side.”

Images of him in bed with me slid through my mind. What was wrong with me? I was feeling way out of my element. I shoved him out of the way, which was surprisingly easier than I’d expected, but I suspected it was only because he was willing to move. “Okay, fine. I’m going to Out of Bounds.”

“I figured.”

“You’re irritating, you know that?” I asked as I began striding down the boardwalk.

“You only think that because we’re at cross-purposes.”

“Oh, and just so we’re clear? The elders may have chosen you to be my mate, but until I accept you, you’re not. Based upon what I’ve seen of your pushy attitude so far, I wouldn’t get that tattoo just yet.”

Tradition had it that a male Shifter would declare or claim his mate and then have a symbol representing her name tattooed on the back of his shoulder.

Daniel laughed. It was a rich, pleasing sound. “The elders don’t know you as well as they thought,” he said. “They told me you were biddable.”

“Biddable?” Accustomed to the elders and their quaint words, I had a crazy urge to laugh. I couldn’t take offense. They
didn’t
know me. “Does anyone use that word anymore?”

“If you ask me, the elders always talk like they’re living in another century.”

“Because they are, buried in the ancient texts, concentrating on the past. They leave it to the Dark Guardians to determine the future.”

“It’s a strange combination. And talk about strange combinations…”

We’d arrived at Out of Bounds. The rustic building was the last place you’d expect to hear rock music blasting out of.

“That noise doesn’t bother you?” Daniel asked.

“I can deal with the external stimuli. It’s the internal that overwhelm me. But if you don’t like the music—”

“You’re not going to get rid of me that easily.” He flashed that grin that had mesmerized Lisa and he opened the door.

Inside, people were lined up three deep at the bar. Almost every table was occupied. Some couples were dancing in front of the band. I saw Lisa standing on a chair, waving at us.

“Over there,” I said, and wended my way between the tables and people.

When we arrived, we took off our jackets and draped them over the backs of chairs while Lisa made quick introductions. The guy with her was Eric. I’d never seen him before, but she clung to him as if they’d gone steady for years.

“Eric got us a pitcher of beer, but we have to share the mug,” Lisa explained.

“We’re underage,” I reminded her.

“Hence the reason we have to share the mug.” She leaned forward. “So, Daniel, tell me about yourself.”

“Not much to tell.” He turned to me. “One mug at a table of four is bound to get us all carded. I’m going to get a soda to throw off suspicion. What do you want?”

“The same.”

As he stood, he leaned in and whispered, “Don’t go anywhere.”

He disappeared, and Lisa grabbed my arm. “Okay, there is definite chemistry between you two. Is—”

“What kind of chemistry?” I interrupted to ask.

“Sparks. Sexual. You know. So is he an old boyfriend or what?”

“What.”

She began to shout louder. “Is he an old—” I stopped her with a laugh. “No, he’s a
what
. Not an old boyfriend. Just someone from back home.”

“Which is where exactly? Spike thinks you’re in the witness protection program or something because you don’t tell us anything about yourself. You’re all Miss Mysterious.”

“I just want to be anonymous.”

“In other words, mind my own business.”

“If you don’t mind.”

She laughed. “You are too polite.”

Then, thankfully, she turned her attention back to Eric. And two seconds later I wished she hadn’t, because they were lost in a steamy lip-lock. I slipped away from the table and went into the game room, where pool tables were set up. Most of the tables were occupied so I stood against the wall pretending to watch the players. Across the room was a hallway that led to the restrooms. I’d been here before, so I knew that at the end of it was a door that led outside. I was considering my odds of a successful escape when a mug of soda appeared in my line of vision.

“Nice try,” Daniel said.

“If I was planning to run away, I wouldn’t be standing here. I’d be gone already.”

“How did you do it anyway?” he asked. “Escape Wolford.”

Shrugging, I sipped my soda. “It helped that a snowstorm hit later that night to cover my tracks. And everyone was preoccupied with what had happened to Justin.” I tried not to think about it, but I couldn’t help saying, “It was awful.”

“I can’t even begin to imagine. They said you felt—”

“Yeah,” I interrupted.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m sorry that Justin did, too. I liked him. We all took what happened to him hard. Most of us had convinced ourselves that the story of a harvester was just a fairy tale.”

“I could feel the souls….” I shook my head. “I don’t want to talk about this, not here, not now.”

He nodded as though he totally understood. Then he asked, “So you play pool?”

“Lisa taught me.”

“Let’s play a game, then.”

It was a distraction, and right then, I needed a distraction—badly.

“What are we going to play for?” I asked as I followed him over to the pool stick rack.

“What do you want to play for?”

“If I win, you leave without me.”

He was reaching for a pool stick when my words hit him. Stopping, he studied me. “Are you that good?”

“Maybe.”

He shrugged. “Okay. If I win, you have to accept me as your mate.”

“That’s ridiculous. You don’t select your mate based on the outcome of a game.”

“But you’re willing to risk your life on it. You don’t seem to get it, Hayden. You’re in danger here. I’m the best chance you have of surviving what’s coming.”

His tone wasn’t cocky or boastful. He really believed it. Unfortunately I believed his best chance of surviving to live to an old age meant me going my own way. Reaching for a stick, I skimmed my hand over the wooden rack. I felt a sharp pain. “Ouch!”

“What is it?” Daniel asked, grabbing my hand.

I tried to pull free, but he had a strong grip.

“Just a splinter, I think. Let me see,” I ordered.

“I see it.”

I jerked. He yanked.

“Hold still,” he demanded.

“I can take care of it.”

This time, he lifted his head and pinned me with his gaze. “Hold. Still. Please?”

At that moment I realized he never backed down. I also suspected he never lost. He was like an immovable force. A couple of people were looking at us. I did not want a scene. I swallowed hard and nodded.

He turned his attention back to the stupid splinter. He had large hands, long, slender fingers. I was surprised he was able to grip the splinter and pull it free. A tiny bit of blood pooled on my palm. I watched in amazement as he lifted my hand and sniffed. Then he rolled out his tongue and licked away the blood.

Heat speared me clear down to the soles of my feet, and my toes curled so tightly that I wasn’t sure they’d ever straighten back out.

“Blood scent,” he said, his voice a deep growl, his gaze back on mine, causing me to grow so warm that I thought I might have to remove my sweater or boil. “The strongest. Now I’ll always find you—no matter where you go.”

I jerked my hand free. “What are you—a vampire?” My heart nearly seized up. “Is that it? Is that why I can’t feel your emotions? Why you think you’re immune to the harvester?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Vamps and Shifters don’t mix.”

“That’s not an answer. It was a yes or no question.”

He narrowed his eyes, sighed with impatience. “No. I’m not a vampire.”

“What are you?”

He glanced to the side. The people who’d been watching had turned their attention back to their game. He slid his gaze back to me. “A Shifter.”

“Not like any I’ve ever met.”

“And how many have you met? Other than those at Wolford, I mean. There are different clans, different tribes. Maybe you can feel the emotions of only those who originated in Wolford.”

I wrinkled my brow as I considered his words. “Why would where someone was from make a difference?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s something in the water.”

“Okay, that doesn’t make any sense. And I have been around Shifters who didn’t come from Wolford.” We were talking quietly so no one else in the room could hear us. “When I went on vacation with my parents, there were those I didn’t know. And I still felt their emotions. It’s just you. There’s something different about you.”

For the first time since he’d arrived, he seemed uncomfortable. His gaze darted briefly away from mine. “Let’s change the stakes. How about if you lose you cook me breakfast in the morning?”

Why was he changing the subject? Was I on to something? The room was becoming more crowded, and I knew any in-depth conversation was out of the question. But his reaction was something to ponder and consider. “And if I win?” I asked.

“I’ll cook you breakfast.”

“I have to be at work at six.”

“Not a problem.”

“Actually there is. No free tables.”

He winked at me—I resented that so simple a gesture made my knees weaken—and grabbed a stick. I watched as he slowly surveyed the room, then he strode over to a table on the far side and just stood there. I could tell the two guys who were playing were growing increasingly uncomfortable, even though Daniel didn’t do anything. He didn’t threaten them, didn’t speak to them. His nearness, his stillness, and his watchful gaze were enough. They left their game unfinished.

Impressed, I walked over and joined him while he began racking up the balls. “That was the same thing you did earlier in the day when you wanted that stool. How do you do that?” I asked.

“There are submissive Statics, just like there are wolves. You simply have to recognize them.”

“And you’re an alpha.”

“All Dark Guardians are,” he said quietly.

“That was really kinda mean.”

He shrugged indifferently. “All they had to do was defend their territory by not leaving. I wasn’t going to fight them for it.” He stepped back. “You break.”

I guess I couldn’t really fault him for his approach to getting us a table. He hadn’t been aggressive, but he gave off such powerful vibes—even standing still. He’d be the leader of the pack.

Although the Dark Guardians already had a leader: Lucas Wilde. But Daniel was right: All the Dark Guardians had alpha tendencies. They didn’t back down from a fight. But they also recognized and respected the acknowledged leader. I’d always thought it took a lot of confidence in one’s abilities not to feel threatened at taking orders. I had to admire Daniel for joining our group and blending in without creating any conflict. The elders had to trust his abilities to send him off on his own to find me.

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