Shadow World (32 page)

Cara gasped as the Elseewas suddenly angled sharply up. Driving like pistons, its powerful wings cut the air, propelling the creature higher and higher. Now its song split into tumbling trills, and its body spun and twirled in aerial somersaults through the sky. A bright reflection of its colorful, carefree beauty flashed back and forth across the surface of the lake.

The song trembled in the air, and the bird soared upward in a tight spiral.

Cara strained her eyes, waiting for it to climb out of sight.

But just before it disappeared, the Shadowbird spread its wings to their furthest, slowed, then arced over in a seemingly

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impossible turn that was nearly a backward flip. For a long, long moment the Elseewas hovered, its song altering from melody to more of a penetrating call.

Cara imagined she heard urgency in the sound and an eager anticipation.
It
sounds the way you do when you shout to someone on the other side of a
door, "Open up! I'll be right there!"
she thought.

The Elseewas tilted gently so that the variegated tail pointed up and its sleek, red head pointed downward. Once more the mighty wings beat air.

The first stroke propelled the bird into a dive, the second and third gave that dive hurtling speed. The red wings folded tightly to its body as it plunged down ... down ...

It was a long way down, and all the way that wild, glad cry rang from the Shadowbird's throat.

A ruby reflection trembled to the surface of the water like a welcoming spirit, and the bird burst through. A small plume of water was flung up, then fell back with a quick splash and a watery exhalation almost like a sigh. Darting ripples danced out from the center and then rings of slower, larger ones floated farther out and gently disappeared.

Silence spread over the lake like benediction.

Cara felt Mark's hand slide around hers and grip tightly.

Eerin woke when the third moon, Elrans, rode a high apex in the sky. With the angles of Aanbas, the first-to-rise, and Orood, the last-to-set, they made an elongated triangle overhead, and nested in the center of the triangle was the tiny fourth moonlet, Inid. The night was a chiaroscuro of black and white as the shadows skittered.

The Elpind shifted restlessly as yet another of the eleven sacred points on hin's body erupted into fiery pain. Eerin reached cautious fingers to take inventory. Yes, the sixth slirin was open. One more day--perhaps less--

before Enelwo.

Eerin watched the shadows flit across the sleeping shapes of hin's companions and touch the back of the tall, light-haired figure standing watch.

They were comforting, these shadows, and hin was glad to be, if not home, at least on Elseemar.

The thought of home brought a different pain. In the wide valley dotted with softly shaped hills and nourished by the

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deep waters of the rivers Rainel and Rainwo, the Change was a known thing. At the opening of the first slirin the call went out to all the family, and feasting began. At the last moment, just before all strength fled, the one-who-was-to-Change danced the last Mortenwol that would ever be danced as a neuter, and all the young hin of the family joined in. And when the slisrin began to weep in earnest, the elder siblings, those who had already become han and been, began the vigil.

All these things were done and always had been done, and many times Eerin had seen in hin's mind how it would be when the word went out, "Eerin nears Enelwo."

Now it would not be so.

Eerin looked at the sleepers, at Mark's guarding figure again. These companions had become dear, but they were not Elspind. They could not know how it felt to dance to the threshold of one's second birth. They could not comprehend the chasm that separated hin from han and heen, nor the many-sided whirl of joy and terror at crossing it.

Was there any way to explain the comfort of even Wo's dark presence through the journey, a comfort formed of long and close association, a comfort resting on the total absence of something Eerin saw clearly in the humans? Hin doubted it. This fear of death in them, it was so much darker than Wo itself.

The Elpind sat up and reached for the nearby stash of sestel stems, hastily rolled a round wad, and slipped it under hin's tongue. With shaking fingers hin prepared a dozen more while the words of an ancient Telling echoed in hin's memory:

"The hunger before Enelwo is first one of preparation, then of strong need, and, finally, a craving that beats like a pulse through the body. The hunger that rises after Enelwo is many times more a craving: deeper than the bone, swifter-rushing than the fevered blood, and sweet, very sweet. To eat will quench the fire of hunger; to mate will also soothe, but will also kindle greater fire. By the mystery of rizel do shadows cast shadows."

Eerin thrust another wad of sestel beneath hin's tongue, rose, then slipped like a silent white shadow to Mark's side.

The human started when hin appeared. "You're not supposed to sneak up on the person standing watch," he complained.

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Eerin looked up into the face that had become so familiar. "Mark Kenner was still very tired when hin awoke heen for Mark's turn at watch ... but that time is past, is it not? Why does Mark not sleep again?"

"I was supposed to wake Hrrakk' for watch an hour ago," the human admitted, "but by then I was wide awake. I keep thinking about the Shadowbird, seeing it again in that final plunge." Mark studied hin. "Eerin ...

what's wrong with you? Tel me, please."

The Elpind hesitated. The time had come to tell hin's pair partner, and Eerin dreaded to see pain enter Mark's eyes. Heen would regard the Change only as a prelude to Wo, not as life's greatest adventure.

Seeing the Elpind's reluctance, Mark spoke again. "You're about to go through Enelwo, aren't you?"

Eerin sighed. "Mark is correct."

The young man nodded, then looked away. "I knew it. Are you scared?"

"No."

"But why is it happening early? Three whole years early!" On the last words a hint of the anguished resistance Eerin had been expecting touched Mark's voice.

"It is not unknown for Enelwo to come early."

"Three
years?"

"There are some factors that are often associated with an early Change," hin admitted. "Elspind live in the cool river valleys in the midst of mountains.

Only for one brief period during Elseemar's cycle about the sun does the temperature in those valleys rise unpleasantly high. It is then that the hin who will mature during that cycle experience Enelwo. The desert ... is always hot. No hin would go there lightly."

"You're saying that it was the desert heat that triggered this early Change?

That it altered your hormonal balance?"

"Hin believes so. The stress may have been a factor, also."

"Shit!" Mark stalked away a few meters and stood with his back to the Elpind.

Eerin saw the tension in his body and did not follow.

After a long moment of silence Mark said, still with his back turned, "Being held captive by the hijackers all those days, that was stress no one could have predicted or, once it began,

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stopped. But, when we ... when I was choosing volunteers for this team ...

Why?"
He whirled back around. "Why didn't you tell me what could happen?

Why didn't you stay with the ship?"

"The ship was in the desert," Eerin pointed out gently. "The heat would still have been there. And the stress."

"Yeah, but staying with the ship wouldn't have been as physically taxing as hiking across the desert," Mark pointed out.

"Hin wished to go with Mark. Hin wished to be a part of the effort to help bring rescue to the
Asimov.
It was people from hin's own world that caused the crash; there was a debt to pay." Eerin looked at the human pleadingly.

"Mark must believe that it does not matter what caused Enelwo to come early. Hin is now ready to experience the next step in hin's lifecycle; that is what matters. Hin is ..." Eerin searched for a word to describe the emotions hin felt, the restlessness, the eagerness for the new beginning. "Mark, hin is excited!"

Mark looked intently at the Elpind. "But the Change can be dangerous for your people, right?"

"True. El and Wo step close together at that time."

"Will it be more dangerous, this Change, because it's coming so early?"

"Hin does not know." Mark's mouth twisted with what hin had come to know meant unhappiness. "But all is progressing well," Eerin added, to reassure the human. "The hunger and the craving for sleep come from the body's drive to store energy for the exertion to follow. And the slisrin are opening as they should."

"The what?"

"Does Mark wish to see?" Eerin moved so that moonlight shone full on hin's left side and gently pulled apart the swollen, painful edges of a finger-long slit just above hin's left hipbone.

"This is a slirin. There are eleven and each one must open in preparation for Enelwo. From the slisrin will flow the lacmore, which is secreted from glands deep beneath the skin. Six of hin's eleven slisrin have now opened."

Mark looked closely, then nodded. "How long?" he asked.

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"Perhaps another day. Maybe less."

"Your family is supposed to be with you during this time, aren't they?"

"Yes," hin admitted with regret.

"Is there a ritual connected with Enelwo?" Mark asked.

"Just the final Mortenwol as a neuter before hin goes into the Change, then, during Enelwo itself, hin's older siblings would keep vigil while hin is helpless in the throes of Enelwo."

"Eerin," Mark said, sounding very solemn, "I will stand vigil. Cara too, probably. I know it won't be the same, but at least you'll know you're not alone."

"Hin is grateful," Eerin said slowly. "Especially in light of the way Mark feels about this Change coming early."

The human shrugged. "I'm doing my best." He hesitated. "Uh ... listen, you'd better tell me what to expect."

Eerin explained the sequence of events that would take place as the physical preparation of hin's body accelerated, then what would actually happen during the Change.

"I understand," Mark said when the Elpind was finished. "And I'll remember what you have told me. I'm trying to be happy for you, Eerin." He sighed. "I just wish you'd had the opportunity to take Elhanin ... I know you wouldn't have taken it to extend your normal lifetime, but maybe you'd have taken it to give yourself all the time you rightfully should have had."

"No, hin would not have," Eerin said. "Hin knew this might happen, and yet hin refused the Elhanin when it was offered."

Mark stiffened. "When it was--" He stared hard at the Elpind. "You had the chance to take Elhanin?"

Eerin nodded silently.

"When?" Mark asked.

"It was offered soon after the crash."

"By whom?" the human demanded. "R'Fzarth and Sarozz were dead, and they were the scientists aboard ..." He trailed off, and Eerin saw the realization dawn in the hazel eyes. "Hrrakk'," he said. "It was Hrrakk', wasn't it? He's some kind of botanist."

The Elpind nodded. "A very highly regarded one, apparently. Though working out of heen's own laboratory on Hurrreeah, Hrrakk' was

collaborating with the CLS medical research team.

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At their request, heen was on the way to a medical conference on

Shassiszss to speak on the potential of Elhanin. But heen's ship developed a problem, and heen was transferred to the
Asimov."

"So the Wospind didn't know he was aboard," Mark said. "If they had, they'd have killed him, too."

"Hin believes that is quite likely," Eerin said sadly.

"And he has Elhanin with him?"

"Yes. A sample he was going to use as an exhibit for the other scientists'

analysis. Hrrakk' offered the sample to hin soon after the crash, knowing the effect of heat on Elpind neuters. But hin refused it, and hin does not regret that."

"Okay," Mark said. "I understand ... and I respect your choices, Eerin." He smiled wryly. "I may not
agree
with it, but I respect it. I'll do everything I can to help you get through Enelwo."

Eerin regarded the human curiously. "Mark has changed from that night we spoke in the desert," hin said thoughtfully. "Mark is no longer cherishing heen's anger at life."

"You mean that I'm not running away anymore?" Mark said.

The Elpind considered silently. "Perhaps Mark is still walking away, but heen is definitely no longer running."

The human chuckled dryly. "Well put, Eerin. I had a long talk with Cara after Misir died, and that's part of my change, I think. She helped me put things in perspective. But the main thing ..." He took a deep breath. "Eerin, you said that to see the death of a Shadowbird is to have one's life changed forever.

Well, I don't know about that, but I do know I've been doing some hard thinking since we left that lake."

"Hin can see that."

"I want to stop running ... and being afraid."

"Hin understands. Mark wishes to live life the way one dances the Mortenwol."

Mark thought that over. "Something like that. I'm trying to change. Do you think I can?"

"Mark Kenner has great strength and courage. And great understanding that comes from the heart. Hin has seen this."

"Thank you," said Mark softly. "I have not. But I'm going to start trying to feel it. I'm going to try to let go a little more, trust my instincts more, and, most of all, try to celebrate life the way your people do."

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"Hin is very glad to hear this."

Mark smiled and broke the mood. "You know, this has answered a lot of questions that were bothering me, especially about Hrrakk'. I'd been wondering why he knew so much about Elseemar's plants, how to recognize wild sestel and so forth."

"It is the wild sestel that is the basis of Elhanin," Eerin said. "Hrrakk' told hin so."

"Really? But how--"

The Elpind shook hin's head. "For the answers to Mark's questions, heen must ask Hrrakk'."

Mark grimaced. "As if he'd tell me. He thinks humans-- and particularly
this
human"--he tapped his chest--"are the lowest of the low. But you're right, it's his secret, so I should discuss it with him, not you."