Shadowed (5 page)

He pulled back slowly and rested his forehead on hers. Living in the same state,
let alone within close driving distance, was new to their relationship, every moment
precious.

“I hate this,” he groaned.

She brought her hands up to rest on his face, feeling the blond stubble already growing
on his cheeks and chin. He slowly raised his eyes to meet her own. Her breath caught
at their intensity, and she realized for the first time how much he was trying to
hold himself together for her, for both of them. Her racing heart settled and something
deep within her grew still. She wouldn't make this more difficult for him. She was
the girlfriend of a SEAL. She wouldn't break. She would send him off with her head
held high and be waiting for him when he got home. The miles wouldn't sever the bond.
Just as he fought for their country, she would fight for him, his sanity, his strength,
his heart. She would let him go.

A knot formed in her stomach, testing her resolve. She slowly brought her lips to
his again. “Go get 'em, babe,” she whispered
as she pulled back. She forced herself
to bounce up from the bed, hoping her energy and focus on helping him pack would
let him know she would be okay.

Micah rounded the corner as Kaylan grabbed Nick's few toiletries from the bathroom.
“Seriously, dude?”

“I'm hurrying, Bulldog. Chill out.”

Micah turned to Kaylan and rolled his eyes. “If you aren't going to help, then leave.
And why haven't you been helping me, your ever-loving, favorite, second-to-oldest
brother?”

“That's quite a title.” Kaylan walked past Micah, tossing something in Nick's bag
before she came back to slug her brother's arm. “We all know you are an expert packer
because of your years living with me. Nick hasn't had the benefit of my expertise.”

Micah eyed Nick's nearly empty bag and shook his head. “I'm thinking y'all were doing
something other than packing.” He approached her, his finger aimed at her face. “And
as your favorite older brother, I should warn you that I can and will leave him on
this mission if he isn't behaving himself with you. Tell me now, Kayles.”

Her laughter spilled over as Nick's brows raised and he came to a standstill. “Leave
me behind? Watch it, Bulldog. That's blasphemy. Never leave a man behind.” He smirked.
“And kicking my tail is highly questionable. We both know who always wins that fight.”

Micah threw his chest out and approached Nick, reminding Kaylan of little boys arguing
over who built the bigger mud pie. Kaylan stepped in between them, her laughter drawing
smiles to their pseudo-tough faces.

“All right, hotshots. You made your point. Save it for the bad guys.”

“You.” She turned to Nick and stood on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek, sending him
the smile she saved just for him. “Finish packing.”

“And you.” She turned to Micah, her heart dancing as she felt the familiar tug of
home and family and Alabama. “Don't ever let Dave catch you calling yourself my favorite
older brother. He really might bury you in a box and throw you in the lake.”

Micah's grin bloomed, reminding her of his mischievous escapades as a child when
he would hide her dolls or her dance shoes just so he could chase her around the
house while she looked for them. “Dave doesn't have a violent bone in his body. Competitive,
sure. Violent, absolutely not.”

She shook her head. “I don't know. Challenge Melody, or me, or mom, or Gran, and
you might have a fight on your hands.”

Micah tapped a finger on his chin and pretended to ponder for a moment. Kaylan tried
to sucker punch him in the stomach, but he moved quickly. Pinning her arms, he began
poking her rib cage, sending her squealing.

“I give. I give. I give.” Kaylan drew a deep breath as Micah let her go, sending
her tumbling into Nick. Her ribs ached from his jabs and her constant laughter. She
would remember this moment until they came home. Thankfully it wasn't a true deployment
with their full team. They would travel with Support Activity 1, take care of their
assignment, and then come home to prep for their next deployment a little over a
year away. Kaylan knew they would travel and train all over the country as needed
between now and then, but at least then she knew they wouldn't face enemy fire.

The knot in her stomach re-formed with a tug, and she took a deep breath, steadying
herself again. Nick grabbed his bag from the bed and slung it over his shoulder.

“Drop us off, babe?”

She smiled up at him, now wishing the time hadn't slipped by so quickly. “Wouldn't
miss it.”

She looped her arm around his waist and followed her brother to the car.

Chapter 5

K
AYLAN CUT THE
engine as she pulled up in front of the team building. In the sudden
silence she realized her brother and boyfriend were about to board a C-17 to another
corner of the world. She knew a cause burned in their hearts. Their easy banter less
than an hour before had faded, replaced by quiet resolve mirrored in their confident
stance and determined expressions.

Micah had always been her protector. She remembered her fourth grade year when John
Mark Turner wanted her to sign his cast. He'd had a crush on her since second grade,
but Kaylan was a kid. She played with the boys the same way she played with her brothers.
Anything other than that was the last thing on her mind. John Mark and his friend
Andy cornered her after school.
The whole class had signed his cast, but Kaylan didn't want to encourage him. His
constant attention made her uncomfortable.

Andy told her to sign John Mark's cast or she couldn't go home. Kaylan remembered
lifting her chin and trying to hurry past, but Andy caught her and pushed her into
the potted bush growing right next to the front door. Micah had materialized at her
side, his brown eyes burning with anger. He pulled her up, checked
to make sure she
was okay, and then in one swift move turned around and gave Andy a black eye.

Even as a middle schooler Micah deemed it “defending the defenseless” and his “constitutional
right” despite the principal's counsel otherwise. He hadn't changed much. She studied
him in the rearview mirror as he opened the door and grabbed his bag. He'd exchanged
his childhood superhero capes for the uniform of America's elite, and he wore it
proudly. Much like his superheroes, he didn't boast about his position. SEALs rarely
did. Their confidence came from their knowledge of their training and their trust
in one another. They were ready.

Now Kaylan was here to see Micah off. It seemed a bit more real this time. In Alabama
she knew when Micah deployed, prayed for him while he was away, and talked with him
when he called. But now she was here to say good-bye. A lump formed in her throat
as he closed his car door. Nick sat next to her in the front, watching, waiting.

Her door opened and Micah reached for her hand. “Time to say good-bye, sis.” Tears
pooled in her eyes, but she blinked them back as she unbuckled and stepped from the
car. Nick mirrored her movements on her other side, readying his bag.

“Be safe.” Her voice cracked, but she cleared her throat quickly. “Take care of each
other.”

As he pulled her into a hug, she realized that the two people she loved in California
would no longer be a phone call away. Panic built, but Micah's arms around her held
her together, the way they always did when he defended her. Pride in him fought the
panic.

“Hey.” Micah held her away from him, leaning in close to see her eyes in the early
morning darkness. “We'll see you soon. Don't let David or Seth steal my place or
anything while I'm gone. We both know I'll always be your favorite.”

She couldn't help but smile. “We'll have to agree to disagree.”

“Hasn't anyone ever told you that you should agree with
everything a man says when
you send him off to war? You don't want me distracted or worried now, do you?” He
crossed his arms over his chest, and she fought a smirk.

“That's good to know. But I'm pretty sure you also taught me not to lie, so . . .
”

Micah held a hand to his heart. “You're killing me.” He smiled and his eyes wandered
behind him. It was time to go. He pulled her into a quick hug again and kissed the
top of her head. “Take care of the home front. We'll catch ya on the flipside.” With
a brief nod to Nick, he jogged off to meet the rest of the guys.

Kaylan took a deep breath, realizing that this good-bye would be much more difficult.
She stood still, refusing to look at him as the car door slammed, and she heard his
boots scuff the pavement as he approached. She leaned back against her car door,
her heart in her throat, wondering when Nick had become more important to her than
family. As important as, sure. But more important than the ones who were her heart
and soul? Not even Sarah Beth had ever claimed this degree of affection.

Was she in love with him after all?

He stood in front of her ready to leave, a clear testament to the dangers he would
soon face, but he never wavered in his resolve. She realized then that he had never
wavered in his pursuit of her heart, either. He was there, waiting for the fullness
of her heart, the depth of her commitment. He waited confidently and quietly, never
pushing, always reassuring.

Her breath caught, and she blinked as a tear rolled off her lashes. A dim light from
the building illuminated their parking spot, but Kaylan felt as if they were the
only two people in the world.

His hands, calloused from hard work and countless drills with his team, cupped her
face, slowly raising her eyes to meet his. He stepped closer, his body a breath away,
but she could feel the pull, the chemistry of being near someone she loved. Loved?
Was it possible?

Another tear tracked down her cheek, and she tried to pull away, desperate to hide
her weakness from him. But, as always, he wouldn't let her run. His thumb wiped away
the tear, and his eyes held her captive.

“Don't hide from me, babe.” His husky voice betrayed his frazzled emotions, and
Kaylan realized he was fighting back tears as well.

She wrapped her arms around his waist. “This is hard, Nick. I've never had to say
good-bye here, like this.”

He ran his thumb over her bottom lip, his eyes traveling the course of her face.
“God willing, we'll have many more times like this, but equally as many ‘hellos.'”

Her heart galloped. Her mind flashed back to Rhonda's broken house in Haiti and to
her last moments with Sarah Beth. It took sixty seconds to change the course of both
of their lives. Sixty seconds to write a death sentence, and sixty seconds to create
a lifetime of absence and agony. Would she never be free from the memories?

Only minutes before the quake hit, they had laughed and talked. They had witnessed
the miracle of life in the slums. Even now Rhonda sent her pictures of that sweet
baby. He was pulling himself up and would be walking soon. But Sarah Beth would never
see.

Kaylan's breath came in shorter spurts. What if this was her last good-bye with Nick?
What if this mission took him from her? She couldn't, wouldn't be able to bear another
quake of that magnitude in her life.

“No. I can't do this. I can't do this. You can't go!” She clenched his shirt in her
fists, her fingers aching from her tight grip.

The pressure on her face intensified. “Kaylan, look at me.”

She couldn't. She remembered Sarah Beth's blue eyes as they gazed into the distance
right before she breathed her last. This wouldn't be the last time she held Nick's
gaze. It wouldn't.

“Kaylan Lee Richards.” He gripped her shoulders. “Look at me.” The intensity and
passion in his voice shook her mind from the rubble. Unchecked tears streamed down
her face.

“Oh, baby.” He wiped them away and pulled her close, his hold fierce.

“I am not Sarah Beth,” he whispered in her ear. “We are not in Haiti. Let it go.”

“But what if . . . ”

“No ‘what-ifs.' Do you hear me? None of that.” He pulled back to look in her eyes,
his arms around her still cocooning her in a temporary bubble of safety.

“Hey, Hawk.” Micah stuck his head out of the door. “We gotta go.” Nick's gaze never
left her face. “Be right there.” His voice sliced through the darkness, rooting her
in the present. Time was running out.

His voice lowered and intensified, his words spilling from his lips, matching his
urgency to make her understand before he boarded a plane to God knew where. “Listen
to me. I am highly trained. I have a team of men who are confident and more than
capable. We are ready. And we are SEALs, Kayles. We do our job because we love our
country. But I do my job for more than that now. I do it for you.” His fingers caressed
her lower back, paralyzing her in his arms. “You are my reason to come home, Kaylan.
The reason I fight for more than my country. I love you. I get that you can't say
it yet. But you need to know. I love you. I will do whatever necessary to protect
you, and right now that means taking out . . . ” He stopped short, his eyes showing
a split second of fear. “Right now that means leaving.”

She couldn't move, couldn't speak. His hand came up to her face, tracing the tear
marks before drifting to the back of her neck causing her face to heat. His lips
hovered inches from hers. She could see the blue of his eyes, reaching all the way
to her heart and strengthening the cords that bound them the first time he said
those
three little words only days before. “I love you, Kaylan Lee Richards. Do you trust
me?”

She nodded, fearing the tears would come again if she responded.