Shadowfae (5 page)

He heard me coming and flipped to his feet, wild sunflower tangles springing up like a bird’s nest. His narrow green face split into a toothy smile, and his ruby eyes glinted with delight. “Jade-Jade, come see! The river’s full of gold!”

I sighed, though a smile tugged at the corner of my mouth. “Babe, it’s three in the morning—”

“But the river’s golden like the sun. Come see!” He tugged my hand and twirled me around, fluttering a few inches off the ground, raindrops glittering on his green-veined skin.

I chuckled, stumbling, hair falling in my face. Nyx was my best mate, if I had one. I’d known him only a few months, but it seemed like more. We hung out in cafés, caught movies, shared a drink or two. When he didn’t disappear for weeks on end, flitting after some eldritch fae whim, that is—but that’s what fairies do, and you don’t ask or berate.

I hadn’t seen him since we’d sunk a few too many shots together at a kinky dance party a week ago, but he had a knack for showing up when I felt out of sorts. Once when I was working as a coffee girl at Starbucks on Swanston Walk, he ran in, jumped over the counter, and dragged me out, insisting that the city was on fire and I should come see. He flew me to the base of the blue neon spire on the arts center roof, and we watched the scarlet sunset flashing on glass skyscrapers, cool wind dragging our hair back in glowing blue warmth. I lost that job, too, but somehow it didn’t matter.

Now, he tickled my cheek with a knobbly green finger, his glassy claws shining. He wore bright magenta tights, a red silk sash and a short tank top made of tight green nylon that left the bottom half of his torso bare, and he looked totally fabulous, as only a fairy could. “Jade-Jade? Come see? Hurry, hurry or it’ll be poof! Gone like the moon.”

I tried a proper smile, and weight eased from my heart. “Just for a bit, okay?”

Nyx grinned and swung my hand in his as we walked down the lane, his sharp green feet skipping bare on the gutter stones. His pointed ears twitched. “Just a bit. Bit, bit, bit. Tequila?” he added, hope shining in his eyes.

I winced, my stomach curling in rueful memory. “Not this time. No way. Not a chance.”

P
ale pre-dawn faded the jagged city horizon, and I swayed on the concrete riverbank, dangling my legs over the edge. Sultry heat shimmered, a warm watery smell rising from the river. Nyx lay beside me on his tummy with his feet kicked up, warbling softly and wafting salty breeze over us with his wings. Behind us, decorative gaslights flared one by one atop square metal obelisks, heat bursts searing my back, and the brown river water reflected burning pillars of flame. Golden, like the sun. Just like he said.

Warm gritty concrete rasped my thighs through my thin skirt, and I watched with glassy chemical delight as a little black ant labored over the mountain of my knee.

Nyx laid another glittering line of banshee blue on my thigh and snorted it, his breath tickling. He pressed his warm green-veined cheek on my skin, water brightening his eyes. “Peaches,” he stated, and licked soft lime lips.

The ant disappeared into Nyx’s hair, and I followed it with my finger, laughing.

He poked his sharp nose into my palm. “Like you smiling, Jade-Jade.” He spread the last of the crystals on the back of his bony hand and held it under my nose.

I cringed inwardly, though my dry mouth stung and the four margaritas and three salty shots and who knew what else running around in my head did happy somersaults. So much for not wrecking myself. I bent and inhaled, the sharp citrus taste of blue swirling with Nyx’s sweet apple sweat.

Thudding pulse rushed in my ears. The river’s surface glared, and I squinted watery eyes. I felt bright and shiny, like a cool and distant star, and vaguely I recalled I had something to be unhappy about, but it wouldn’t focus and I let it drift away.

I laughed, licking blue dust remnants from his knuckles. He tasted nice, sugary and comforting, his skin smooth on my tongue. He giggled, wriggling slender pink-clad legs, and cartwheeled into the river with a splash.

More laughter bubbled inside me, and I hugged my aching ribs and let it take me. It felt good to laugh, and when he surfaced with a spray of brown water and a happy whoop, I laughed still more. Sweet, silly Nyx. He didn’t have to be here, cheering up the most determinedly miserable woman in Melbourne. Didn’t have to spend time with me or buy me drinks or share his manic sense of fun. He just did it, and even safe inside my glittering high, I was damned if I knew why.

He fluttered free, rainbow wings shining, and wobbled onto the bank like a drunken butterfly. He shook himself, doglike, showering me with smelly river water from his flying yellow hair. I shoved him, laughing, and together we stumbled away, leaning on each other lest we fall.

The riverbank was almost deserted, just a few drunks throwing empty cans at each other, and a lone banshee curled up atop a concrete pillar asleep, her bright blue mane swaying in the breeze. As we staggered into the dark concrete breezeway beneath the spire, a wailing brown spriggan wearing nothing but a paper party hat hurtled by on a skateboard, black toenails digging into the concrete to push her along. Nyx pointed at her with a shiny claw and laughed like he’d crack his wings off, water spraying from his hair to saturate me again.

I wiped my face, only to get wetter as he dropped his slender green arm around my shoulder, giggling and hoping to stay upright. Instead we staggered against the pebbled wall, limbs tangling in a sprinkle of water from his wings.

“You fucking idiot, you’re drenched.” Already his rough silky hair was trying to spring back to its normal wild vertical tangle. I dragged clumsy fists through it, and warm water tumbled out, spilling down my arms to soak my tank top. I tried the same with his shirt, and my fingers slipped down his slender green midriff to where he was bare, his starved fairy muscles tight and wet.

He felt nice, smooth, safe. I wanted to slide my hand inside his shirt, caress him, soak up his warmth. Heat kindled inside me as my rapture murmured and stretched, awakening. . . .

God, what was I thinking? My face heated, even though the light was dim and he wouldn’t see. The banshee drug sloshed about in my head, elevating my senses, befuddling me. Awkwardness twisted my guts, and I pulled my hand away. “Sorry.”

But Nyx grabbed it and pressed it against his chest, his long lime fingers folding over mine. His breathing pulsed against my palm, slow and definite, and my treacherous heartbeat quickened. He leaned his damp forearm against the wall above me, sheltering me in a bower of glowing blue-green wings, and his ruby gaze shimmied shyly onto mine. “Jade-Jade?”

The catch in his musical voice tore my heart, so akin to my own lonely ache that it stripped me bare. His green lips quivered, shining, moving closer to mine, and I tried not to look at them, not to think of kissing them, of pulling him close and losing myself in his sweet body. He was my best friend, not just some guy. I’d never dared to think of him like this before, but I didn’t want to ruin what we had. He deserved more than I could give, more than I could ever be.

His hot breath brushed my lips, teasing my tongue, and need shivered down my neck, dangerous. Wet desire licked my nerves. I swallowed. This was a rotten idea. “Nyx—”

Too late.

He kissed me delicately, sliding his lips hesitantly on mine like he wasn’t sure I wanted him, and it felt so right, I choked back a sob. Poor shy fairy. Of course I wanted him. Who wouldn’t want him, with his devilish green smile and naïve imagination and beautiful bleeding heart?

I’d just never dreamed someone like him would ever want me.

Tears swelled my lids, aching, and I opened my mouth and kissed him back.

He tasted of oranges and cherry brandy, his jagged teeth stinging my tongue. He explored my hair, curling it around his fingers, sliding a tantalizing claw down behind my ear to make me quiver. My rapture slithered in my belly, murmuring dark promises, and I stamped it out firmly. Not this time. Not him.

I slid my hands around that tempting midriff, his skin so slick and warm, and he cooed into our kiss in pleasure, fluttering closer so our bodies pressed together, shifting. Our drenched clothes crushed between us, the friction burning me all over. I could feel his sex swelling against me, another big twist of hardness laid over all that tight fairy muscle, and longing prickled my skin, sending a gentle, welcome ache between my legs. For once, a man with no Kane-baggage attached who desired me, no rapture or thrall involved, even if we were staggering drunk and high and so lonely, it hurt.

He pulled back, wings quivering. His ruby eyes shimmered in the dark, blond lashes jeweled with shiny blue tears. “More, Jade-Jade. Hold me.”

I’ll hold you all you want, babe,
I wanted to say, but nothing came out. My thrall bangles tingled, a gentle warning, but I ignored them. I brushed the blue smears from his cheekbones with my thumb, and he leaned in and kissed me again, only this time it was urgent, deep, hard, his sharp teeth pricking the insides of my lips.

Need burned over me, muddling with drug-addled sadness. My nipples tweaked hard against wet fabric, longing for his caress. I hopped, impatient. He caught me with both hands on my ass, pressing our hips together, and lifted us both off the ground with a strong beat of his wings. We drifted upward, his translucent wing membranes twitching, and swiftly I wrapped my legs around his slender hips, inhaling his tempting toffee scent. I wanted to feel his cock hard against my sex and know he wanted me, not just a fuck but me, Jade-Jade, however many times he wanted to say it. I wanted to slide him into me and bring him off, make him feel good so I could pretend everything was okay.

I held on, clutching my arms around his neck, wrapping my tongue around his, and he let go for long enough to pull his clothes out of the way. He slid bony green fingers beneath my skirt to support me, caress me, open me for him.

I wasn’t totally ready—I could feel a sliver of hot wetness inside me, not enough—but I didn’t care. He slipped a finger deep into me and out, spreading the smoothness. Nerves sparked inside, and a lot more moisture seeped. When he did the same with two fingers, my muscles clenched tight with desire, pressing his claws into my flesh. I wanted all of him. “Nyx, please, it’s okay.”

He fluttered his wings, his pleasure scintillating the membranes with color, and a hot violet breeze wafted over us as we floated in the dark. “Jade-Jade,” he whispered with a breathless laugh, his clever tongue curling over my ear. “Hot like chocolate. I love chocolate.” And he slowly curled his fingers from me and replaced them with his cock, spreading me so he could push inside.

He was big, and it hurt. Burning ripped my skin like acid, and before he was halfway in, I winced, my teeth gritting.

“Oh, not good? Sorry.” Nyx bit his lip, the green veins in his cheeks flushing blue, and he started to withdraw.

“No, it’s fine.” I halted him with my hand on his slim green hip, bearing the sting as best I could. I just wasn’t wet enough, I guess, and he was too big. We’d be good in a moment.

I reached under and adjusted with my fingertips, sliding my flesh free. This time when he pushed he went all the way, and I swallowed a scream, my thighs quivering. God, he was massive, I could barely cover him, but that was nothing compared to the caustic agony chewing at my flesh, burning like he’d shoved molten iron up there. And I was wet, I knew. It wasn’t that. Maybe some weird fairy chemistry.

Shaky, I lifted myself and settled on him again, harder. Nyx’s wings jerked, and he sucked in a sharp breath. I squeezed my eyes shut. God, it was worse. I sat up and slid my fingers over him to make sure there was nothing in the way, but I found only smooth fairy skin over firm tissue.

Something was wrong with us.

I tried again, but the more I moved, the more it hurt, and finally I couldn’t help but cry out. “Ow. No, I can’t.”

Nyx’s pretty cheeks dulled with moisture, his gemlike eyes glazed. “Jade-Jade, sweet, I think—”

“I’m sorry, babe. I can’t.” I pulled him out of me, fluid sticky on my fingers, and the burning eased a little. He set me gently down, and I staggered, not wanting to move my thighs until the stinging stopped. Tension clawed me, my nerves alight with embarrassment.

He stared at me, yellow hair still dripping, his fingers still slick and shiny with my juices. His wings twitched, awkward. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it. I wanted to make you smile.” Indigo tears flooded his eyes, and he bit his wobbling lip and flitted away into the dark with a whoosh of warm toffee breeze.

I stumbled a few steps after him, acid agony still fresh inside me. “Nyx, please, it isn’t . . .”

It isn’t your fault. It’s not you, it’s me.

But he was already gone.

W
hen I got home, white early-morning sun pressed against my blinds, heat already leaking in, and the place stank of the oily takeaway egg linguine I’d eaten for dinner about a hundred hours ago. I stole past the dirty dishes lurking in ravenous hordes on the sink and dropped onto the bed in my river-stained clothes, too exhausted and wasted and tearful to shower or brush my furry teeth.

I lay there, restless, long minutes ticking over on my neon alarm clock, my mind too worked up to sleep. Distant pain still burned inside me, and my flesh felt raw and ripped. Nausea crawled around in my guts like a mutant snake, and the ache in my heart wouldn’t ease, no matter how I rolled on the sweaty sheets or tugged my hair in frustration.

What a fuckup. I hadn’t merely screwed my best friend and regretted it, a few days of awkward tension and then we’d laugh it off. Nothing harmless like that. I’d spectacularly not screwed him, and chances were I’d broken his heart and he’d never speak to me again.

I wriggled, the air sticky and sick like a soaked blanket on my skin. What was I thinking? Why did I have to bring sex into everything? Sure, I wanted a lover who cared for me. But I wanted a friend more, someone who didn’t care about Kane or Angelo or how I had to spend my time, who liked me for myself and not my glamour. Who didn’t expect anything from me. Nyx did all that, actually treated me like a person and not a sex doll, and I had to throw it back in his face by trying to fuck him.