Shadows and Silk (23 page)

The frisson of fear gripped his belly as he thought of what he had to tell her. Of
what could make
her look at him with revulsion instead of the love she’d tried to hide.

“We laid the bait and waited.
I can’t tell you how eerie it was to look into her face and still see you.
Even after six months of marriage the resemblance took me off guard on occasion.
But I knew in my heart a
nd my head you weren’t the same, even though it was still you who clouded my mind.”

“Should I be flattered?” she asked. “You think it does anything for my ego to know
you couldn’t stomach the thought of loving me, so you had to find the first substitute
that crossed your path.”

“No. I knew it would hurt you. But every time I looked at you, I felt the noose tighten
a little more around my neck. I was scared. And I was afraid I wouldn’t be the same
man, be as effective as an agent, if I gave in.”

“You have no idea how hard it is not to hate you because of that,” she said.

“I can make it easier.”

His stomach clenched in fear, and he wanted to punch something—anything. Darcy had
every right to hate him, and he deserved it. He’d married another woman who reminded
him of her and kept it from her. And then, years later, when he’d gotten tired of
fighting the attraction, he’d
taken
her to his bed and then run away as fast as he could because one time with
Darcy
had made him feel like his fate was sealed. And the fear she could betray him as
easily as Vivian had
clouded his mind and his judgment.

“I know this hurts you,” he said. “But I need to tell you all of it. Tell you the
truth.” He took her silence as agreement and forged ahead. “Vivian knew how to get
to me.
How to seduce me with little glimpses of you.
And she used that any time she thought I might be watching her too closely. That’s
what happened on the afternoon she took the bait. I knew when she walked through the
door that she meant to kill me, but I let the scene play out. I told myself I was
in control, and I was already trying to separate the two of you in my mind at that
point. It was difficult
,
because when I tried to think of your face it was hers I saw, and my loathing of
her began to eat away at what I felt for you.

“She saw me waiting for her when she came home, and she gave me that look you sometimes
give. The one that makes the dimple flutter in your cheek and your eyes sparkle like
you have a secret. She stuck out her chin and propped a fist on her hip, and I just
lost control. I was so angry that she could manipulate me that easily. That she could
make me want her by pretending to be you. So I
took
her with every raging emotion that was left in my body, and I said to hell with the
both of you. I couldn’t see past the haze of anger, so I barely felt it at first when
she slid the knife between the ribs in my back.”

Darcy gasped, but he could
n’t
seem to stop talking
,
and he sure as hell couldn’t face her.

“She was a trained agent, so she knew where to put the knife to kill me the easiest
way. But I guess luck was on my
side, because the knife didn’t
nick my heart. I had just enough strength left to roll off the bed and grab the gun
from
the nightstand
. I didn’t even blink when I shot h
er. I was just glad it was over, and I lay there just waiting to die. I figure I had
a few minutes at the most. I tried thinking of you. To remember your face instead
of hers, but it didn’t work.
”

“My God, Brant.”

Her breath hitched on a sob
, but he forged ahead, ready to get it over once and for all.
“
Declan knew she’d taken the bait and was already on his way over, so he’
s
the one who found me and got me to a hospital. I don’t remember much after that.
I just remember being angry. I’ve been angry for a long time. I threw myself in my
work, and said to hell with you and any memories I had of her. They weren’t real anyway.
And I knew the whole time I was fighting a losing battle.
”

Her fingers lightly traced the scar on his back, and he dropped his head down when
he felt her lips kiss it lightly.

“You told me I
looked at you like I hated you that summer I came to stay with your family to recover.
” he said.
He turned to look at her and saw she sat behind him, her knees up against her chest
and her arms wrapped around them protectively. Fat tears slid down her cheeks, but
he couldn’t read the emotions in her eyes.

“And the truth is, part of me did hate you. If I hadn’t wanted you so much I never
would have ended up where I had. I was angry and bitter, and I realized I couldn’t
trust anyone, much less myself. That didn’t stop me from wanting you, but wanting
and loving
aren’t
the same thing. I thought I’d loved Vivian at f
irst. And now that I know what a
fool I was, I
just
can’t take that kind of a chance again.”

The reasoning for the paths he’d chosen smacked him between the eyes with the force
of a hammer. Vivian’s betrayal had almost killed him literally.
But if he ever broke down and vowed to Darcy that he’d love her forever, and then
she betrayed him by leaving or deciding she didn’t really love him, then he would
truly be destroyed, heart and soul.

Darcy didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t possibly think of the right words after
the story Brant had just told her. And the words still didn’t come an hour later after
they’d each showered in separate bathrooms and gotten dressed.

Brant had pulled up the photographs they’d taken of the glyphs the night before, and
she was studying them on the computer and trying to ignore the way
he
was watching her.
He’d closed in on himself as much as she had, and neither of them knew quite the next
step to take.

A storm raged outside, much like the one raging inside of her, and rain slapped against
the glass doors and shadows danced across the hardwood floor.

“These glyphs are different,” she finally said, breaking the silence.

She took a drink of the cold juice at her elbow to wet her
dry
throat. They’d been out in the sun long enough for her to get a fairly dark tan. If
she’d
had a fair complexion
, she’d have a hell of
a sunburn
. As it was, she just needed to hydrate.

Brant
came around and sa
t on the bar stool next to her, but she edged away so not even their arms or thighs
touched. She needed some distance to think. The corners of his mouth pinched at her
slight, but he
look
ed
straight ahead
at the computer screen.

“
How is it different
?”

“The other clues all had coordinates included. I’m assuming it’s a backup system just
in case whoever is reading the glyphs can’t figure out the clues. Though they’ve been
pretty
straight forward
up to this point. These glyphs have no coordinates. Only the clues.”

“What do they say?”

“This group here,” she said, pointing out the symbols that had been found inside a
janitor’s closet
at the Palacio Concordia
, “says,
The
land of temples and Kings has turned to dust, and the fiery mountains protect their
memory.”

“Fiery mountains,” Brant said. “Volcanoes?”

“
That would be my guess.”

“What does the other group of glyphs say?”

“
The jaguar king sits upon a broken throne, and the heads of the fallen rise.”

“Hmm, not as straight forward as the whole fiery mountain thing.”

Darcy’s lips twitched at his wry tone. “The problem with volcanoes is that Mexico
ha
s something close to three
thousand of them. We need to find a group of them together that has ruins in the valley
below. The land of temples and Kings is somewhat vague, but it leads me to believe
it was one of the major sites.”

“What about that last part with the broke
n throne and the floating heads?
Which is creepy as shit, by the way.”

“You haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of creepy with the Maya,” she said,
draining the rest of her juice.

Brant
got up and refilled her glass
and
then put it back in front of her. H
e grabbed a beer for himself.

“Good to know. Though I guess they missed the mark with the whole end of the world
thing.”

Weren’t they being polite and civilized, Darcy thought,
somewhat
amused.
It might have been the first time in fifteen years where they were going out of their
way to not ruffle each other’s feathers. She was already missing
the sparring.

“The second clue is a little harder to decipher,” she said. “The jaguar king is pretty
common. And broken throne could either be a literal or figurative reference if it’s
talking about a fallen kingdom.
What you said about the floating heads might be a more accurate term than the actual
heads rising. The problem is
,
I can’t think of one single site in Mexico wh
ere all of these things add up.”

“What about outside of Mexico?” he asked, watching her instead of the computer screen
now.

“That’s a
little easier. The ruins of
Kami
naljuyu
are located in Guat
e
mala.
It’s not far from Guatemala City, but
it’s surrounded by valleys and volcanoes
.
It’s beginning is estimated to be from around 1500BC. And as far as the temples and
kings turning to dust, then it would be accurate.
Kaminaljuyu
today is only a few mounds and remains of carvings. Though one of those carvings
is of a jaguar king beheading captives with an axe while jaguar deities float above
him. The
carving is just a fragment from the larger piece.”

“Guatemala,” Brant said, rubbing his eyes. “Fuck. You’re sure?”

“As sure as I can be. Nothing else in Mexico makes sense. Is it so outside the realm
of possibility that Ramos has control in Guatemala as well.”

“No, it’s very much a possibility. But it makes our jobs a hell of a lot harder.”
He
took the cell phone from his pocket and typed in a number that had way to
o many digits for a normal call, and Darcy listened as he relayed the information
to who she assumed was Declan.

Brant gave her a long, steady look, and she raised her brow in question, knowing Declan
must have been discussing her in some way.

“Fine,” Brant said and hung up.

“What’s he going to do?”

“He’s suspected Ramos might have power in Guatemala, but there hasn’t been any hard
proof. No deaths or deals. He’s keeping the territory clean. Which makes us think
we might have a match for our lab location. Declan is seeing if we can get an aerial
shot of the area you described. He’ll get back to us soon.”

Darcy closed the laptop and moved away, wondering what she was supposed to do trapped
inside the room with Brant.
There were things she needed to say to him. Things she
had
to say to him. But she didn’t have the cou
rage, or even the right words
.

She crossed her arms over her chest and turned back to face him. He was exactly where
she’d left him and he was watching her closely, trying to use that cunning mind to
dissect
her every thought.

“Let’s go get some dinner,” he said, surprising her. “I’m starving
, and i
t’ll be at least a couple of hours before Dec gets back to us.”

Darcy
nodded, grateful for the reprieve, and then she escaped to the bathroom to change.

***

Darcy was thinking too hard about something, which in his opinion, always meant trouble
was coming. She also looked as beautiful as he’d ever seen her, and something in his
chest stalled as she
stared
at him with eyes that held too many secrets
,
and shadows of pain
.

He knew he’d never forget the way she looked—the impression of her would be stamped
on his mind when he
was
old and withered
. She wore blue. And the dress gathered at one shoulder and fell in a straight col
umn to her thighs. Her skin
glowed
, and the spiked heels on her feet made her legs look a mile long. Her hair
flowed down her back in soft curls, just how he like it best, and he imagined the
way they’d look spread across his pillow as he buried himself inside of her
.