Shadows Book 1 in the World of Shadows (21 page)

I found a pair of thick, cottony pants and a
long-sleeved shirt, slipped some socks over my feet for the first
time in my life, then crawled into the big bed. I pulled all the
blankets around me and huddled in the middle until the shivering
stopped. The ache in my knee had eased considerably, but I
definitely needed to either rethink my opinion of bathtubs, or the
way I took them.

The fear of dark ships and darker water
nudged at the edges of my mind and it was a long time before sleep
stole me away again.

Chapter 23

Someone knocked on my door the next morning.
I had already pulled on a new set of clothes, a black shirt with
soft light leather pants, a black braided belt, and the ring
Dathien had given me for my sword. It felt strange to not have a
sword swinging against my side, and it also felt odd to miss it. I
hurried to the door, the limp from my swollen knee almost gone, my
socks off, and only a mild unease remaining toward the bathtub that
still sat in the middle of the floor.

“
Good morning, Nexa,” Axon
said with a warm smile. He brought something from behind his back
and my heart skipped a beat at the sight of a beautiful deep purple
flower with a dozen petals that lightened to white at the
tips.

I took it and a delicate scent whispered
through the air. “It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen,” I
breathed, touching the petals softly with one finger.

“
Then it was a good
choice,” Axon replied, his tone strange. I looked up and found him
watching me. “A flower should match the one it is given
to.”

I blushed and focused my attention back on
the flower to avoid his eyes. They told more than I had words to
match. “Thank you,” I whispered.

“
Unfortunately, I'm not
here for pleasantries,” Axon continued, his voice heavier than
before. I looked up again to find his eyes dark and solemn. “We're
holding the funeral for my men this evening and I wanted to request
your company, if you didn't find it too hard . . .” his voice
caught and he swallowed, then pushed forward. “If you don't want to
go, I completely understand. You've been through a lot
and-”

I cut him off with a hand on his arm. “I
would be honored to attend,” I reassured him, grateful that he
would think of me. His face showed his relief, then his eyes
darkened and filled. He looked away.

I took a step closer and put a hand to his
cheek, gently turning his face to mine like he had done to me so
many times. “Axon, it's not your fault they died.”

“
I was a fool,” he replied,
bitterness thick in his voice. “If I hadn't fallen for King Raden's
trap, they would still be here.”

“
And you wouldn't have been
able to send a warning to your father in time to prevent Lysus from
causing more damage to Lumini,” I reminded him. “You protected
their families and for that I know they would do it all over again
in a heartbeat.”

His eyes searched mine as if he needed to
believe my words. He finally sighed and pulled me against him.
“What would I do without you, Nexa?”

“
Probably be very
bored.”

“
That's for certain,” he
said with a laugh.

I smiled and leaned against his chest.

The funeral for the fallen Luminos was like
nothing I had ever seen. They held the ceremony when the sun was at
its peak. The bodies of those who had died at the Battle of Lumini
were wrapped in pure white cloth made of threads that caught the
sun and glittered like spider webs laced with dew. They were
carried with deep reverence to a pier that stood next to the
ocean.

A small, separate pier at the front held six
long, white wooden boxes which contained the memories of Axon's
men. Each family put in items that reminded them of their fathers,
sons, and brothers, and then friends and acquaintances were also
given the chance until the boxes were so full they were difficult
to shut.

I went to the pier when the others were
occupied and put my own items in each box, a small pink flower as a
reminder of Dathien’s baby daughter, a bird feather to symbolize
Dyloth’s music that haunted me like the sweetest birdsong, a small
rock the same dark blue color as Rasa’s searching eyes, a single
stalk of wheat as a reminder of Marken’s wonderful cooking, a
seashell that caught the sun with the brightness of Jatha’s smile,
and a leaf from a wise, old tree, dependable and steadfast as
Staden had been. The gesture felt so miniscule compared to what
they had done for me, but it felt better to do something, even so
small.

Another pier was built a short distance away
for the few Duskies who had been killed in the battle. It warmed my
heart to see Luminos and Duskies alike mourning the wrapped bodies
and bowing their heads in reverence for the dead.

The boxes for Axon’s men were then decorated
in beautiful white flowers, some as small as the tip of my little
finger, and others bigger than my head. The same flowers were then
spread across the rest of the bodies until it looked like a sacred,
floating garden on top of the piers.

Men, women, and children wept for the fallen
men. Several children came forward and sang a song of gratitude so
sweet and loving tears rolled down my cheeks. The simple phrases
trickled through my mind like the patter of mineral-laced water
droplets that fell from the vast ceiling of the pool room at the
Caves. I used to sneak into the room late at night and close my
eyes and listen to the hidden melodies beneath the drops, a song
that spoke to the very middle of my being and echoed through my
bones.

The reverent words of the children's song
surrounded my heart in the same way and stayed with me long after
the children dispersed back to their loved ones in the crowd.

You are not the bodies that we see,

wrapped in love and memory;

You are not the pain that you have born,

or the heartbreak that we mourn.

Instead the sun within you flows,

As you rise into the sky;

And the peace that fills us knows,

That now with the sunlight you fly.

We love you, father, brother, friend,

and you are with us without end;

We hold you dear and keep you near,

as the sunlight our hearts mend.

Now the joy within you flows,

As you lift into the skies;

And the love inside us knows,

That your light now fills our eyes.

At the end of the song, King Adexo rose from
his seat on a small dais near the main pier. He rubbed and his
eyes, then looked out at the audience of Luminos and Duskies. He
met the gaze of his wife, Queen Midissa, and she gave him an
encouraging nod, a lacy handkerchief held to her eyes. He took a
deep breath, then said, “Citizens of Lumini, you have fought
bravely and defended our kingdom against the Lysus threat. I deeply
mourn those who have fallen, and we are taking steps to ensure that
we are never put under such a threat again.” He looked at me with a
grateful smile touching the edge of his sorrow, then his gaze swept
across his people, taking them in as a whole. “We will honor the
bravery of the fallen by living our lives in tribute to their
memory. Lumini is a safer place because of their sacrifice and
yours. May we always live with the knowledge of how precious life
is, and remember the strength of love in defending what we hold
dear.”

A sound that was half sob and half joy went
up from the crowd and the pain of losing their loved ones shone on
their faces even while they looked upon their King with approval
and respect. That he cried with them told me more about Axon's
father than any words, and Queen Midissa's eyes shone with her own
sorrow, softening my judgment of her despite the disapproval I saw
whenever she glanced in my direction.

At the King's nod, Commander Jashen struck
flint and steel to a silver lantern worked with delicate flowers
and vines along the sides; light danced in intricate shadows across
the pier in front of him. He raised the lantern and five soldiers
in full battle armor stepped forward bearing finely embossed
sconces. Their silver armor contrasted smartly with green and gold
tabards emblazoned with the Lumini crest of a white castle on a
green hill.

The soldiers touched their candles to the
flame of the lantern and the wicks flickered to life. Each soldier
walked slowly to their designated position along the pier, then
waited until the last soldier stood in front of the pier of the
Duskies. Together they spoke soft words over the flames. The
language was unfamiliar to me, and the words rang foreign to my
ears, but they tangled softly around my heart, soothing the ache I
felt.

As one, the soldiers put their flames to the
piers. For a moment nothing happened, then bright fire danced down
the white forms. I rubbed my eyes, wondering if exhaustion from the
battle had finally caught up to me, but when I looked back the
flames were still multi-colored. Each white flower the fire touched
turned the flames a different color. Blue twisted around red and
green, pink flames twirled amid orange and purple. The piers
appeared as though someone had set a rainbow to dance among white
clouds. The flames reflected off the water and the tips glowed with
white-hot heat, combating the sun in brightness.

Eventually, the color faded from the flames
and the fire turned so brightly white that we had to look away and
step back from the waves of heat that pushed against us. The warmth
died away before I expected it, and when I looked back, the fire
was gone and so were the bodies and the white boxes dedicated to
Axon's men. Only the bottom logs of the piers remained, glowing
with deep red coals in their hearts and too hot to approach. A
small breeze drifted from behind us and lifted ashes out to the
ocean.

“
Thank you,” King Adexo
said. The gratitude was hushed and directed more toward the fallen
soldiers than to the audience that watched, but it was as though
his words released the Luminos and Duskies around him from a spell.
They wiped the tears from their eyes, put arms around each other,
and began the short walk back to Lumini.

I watched them leave, my thoughts on the six
white boxes and the good men they symbolized. As beautiful as it
had been, it still didn't feel like enough, but I don’t know if
anything could.

“
They'll be
remembered.”

I turned to see Axon's eyes on the empty
pier as well. “Being remembered isn't enough,” I said. I could
barely force the words past the tightness of my throat. It was a
beautiful funeral, but there shouldn't have been a funeral at all.
They should be alive, celebrating their freedom with their loved
ones, not as memories in a box with their bodies joining the circle
of death in the ocean.

“
We do what we can,” he
said as though convincing himself. “What more is there to
do?”

I shook my head and turned away, too full of
emotion to speak for fear that I would spill out my heart and never
gain it back. I took a step away, but Axon caught my arm. He pulled
me to his chest and held me without a word. The silence made my
carefully guarded tears overflow. I sobbed into Axon's soft shirt;
his fingers ran through my hair and his own tears fell onto the top
of my head. He tipped his face down and his body shook with
held-back sobs finally forcing their way free. I clung to him and
we held each other up even though it felt like the world had fallen
down around us.

We stood there long after our tears stopped
and the crackling of coals faded away behind me. I wiped my eyes
and glanced past Axon, then stood still.

“
What is it?” he asked, his
voice heavy with sorrow.

“
Look,” I
whispered.

He turned slowly and his hand reached for
mine.

All of the Luminos and Duskies who had
watched the funeral stood along the road that led back to Lumini.
Husbands had their arms around their wives, and mothers held their
little ones close. King Adexo and Queen Midissa stood near the
center of the road, their arms entwined and cheeks wet. The King
gave us a sad smile of approval, then turned with his wife and they
walked slowly with Queen Midissa’s hand at King Adexo’s elbow up
the road lined with their people.

Axon squeezed my fingers and we walked hand
in hand after his parents. As we passed, Duskies and Luminos alike
bowed their heads, then fell in behind us and together we walked as
one people back to the palace.

Chapter 24

“
Ready?”

Axon's simple question spoken through the
door in his quiet, amused tone nearly sent me back to the corner
where my pants and shirt lay crumpled in a pile. I smoothed down
the dark material of the first dress I had ever worn and felt a wry
smile touch my lips at the fact that I could lead a battalion into
war, survive a sinking ship, and fight flesh-devouring Sathen, but
my hands shook at the thought of wearing a dress to a formal palace
dinner.

I took a deep breath. “I'm ready,” I said,
pushing the door open. I stepped out of my room before my common
sense could stop me.

Axon's eyes widened and his mouth opened; a
paper he held in one hand fell unnoticed to the floor. His irises,
normally the icy blue that held steel underneath for those who
would challenge him, changed subtly to the blue of the sky
reflected on the surface of the ocean. He took a small step back,
but looked as if he didn't know he had done it.

My heart fell and I wondered if I looked as
ridiculous as I felt. I turned to flee back to my room, my cheeks
red with embarrassment, but he caught my hand.