Authors: Cindy Mezni
“Has anyone ever told you that you are a really nice girl?” Leighton inquired, looking fascinated.
It must be proof that we live in an absurd world when Leighton Wates gives me an admiring look when it should have been I sending admiration her way. Who was this girl that was so special she had chosen me as a friend when it seemed she could have had the world?
“Once or twice,” I replied, blushing, unable to say anything but the truth when I looked in her eyes whose color could compete with the clear Caribbean Sea.
In the past, some parents, who didn’t treat us as if we were lepers, had complimented my grandmother for my good education. Their reactions had marked me. It was during those moments that Tess looked at me with eyes full of emotion and I felt happy and proud to honor the wonderful woman she was.
“Anyway, I’m telling you again right now, you’re a great girl, Deliah Morgan.”
I was sure my face was crimson by now and that it would never return to its normal color.
“You getting all red every time you get a compliment, it’s adorable,” Garreth commented before laughing.
I settled down on myself, wishing to disappear. The intensity of his laughter doubled due to my reaction.
“Stop being so childish,” Leighton said to her brother. “You look like a little kid. Imagine the reaction if Charles saw you act so...” She pursed her lips as if to keep from saying something she shouldn’t. “Well, you know what I mean.”
Garreth’s laughter had immediately stopped when he heard the name “Charles.” He was suddenly closed off like never before. My curiosity was revived. I wondered who this man was.
“I’m sorry,” Leighton said a few seconds later, realizing she probably said something inappropriate.
The cold hard look Garreth gave her didn’t change at all.
“Next time, think before you speak, it will avoid you having to apologize unnecessarily. By the way, I remind you that I act the way I want and...Charles is dead anyway so he can’t say anything anymore.”
I swallowed hard. Tess’s death came back full force in my memory. I didn’t know for what reason, but I thought again of her lifeless body, which I discovered when I returned home that fateful day. I felt like vomiting, dizziness taking over me suddenly. From the corner of my eye, I saw the dark expression on Garreth’s face, he was obviously feeling ill and remembering awful moments too. I heard the characteristic sound of leather creaking, a sign that someone had just gotten up and moved to my side of the couch.
“I didn’t want...” Leighton started.
“That’s enough,” Garreth cut her off with a sharp voice I’d never heard before. “Go away. You’ve done enough for today. You’ll apologize later. And don’t bother to argue, you’re leaving immediately.”
I didn’t open my eyes to see if she was following her brother’s order. The sound of the door slamming told me that she did as Garreth said.
“It’s okay,” Garreth assured me with a gentle and compassionate voice.
I wanted to believe it, but it was in moments such as this, when the pain woke up and ached like never before, that I doubted I could get over the death of Tess. A muffled sob escaped me and I felt the leather sag again at my side. Garreth had just moved closer to me. Suddenly, his strong arms drew me to him in a comforting embrace. I let him do it and did not oppose an ounce of resistance. We sat for several minutes until the pain became bearable again. I opened my eyes and plunged into the intensity of his green gaze.
“Thank you,” I said, grateful like I’ve never been before in my life.
“At your service, Beautiful.”
He said it in such a way that I laughed, despite the last tears I shed. He was able to dispel the sadness of the moment and for that too, I thanked him. However, I could not help but quickly feel guilty for the last events that happened between him and his sister.
“I’m sorry that because of me, Leighton and you...”
“Shh,” he murmured, placing a finger on my lips. “You don’t have to apologize for that. You did nothing.”
As if, like me, he realized where his finger was, he pulled it back and moved a few centimeters away. Suddenly, I imagined how I would have reacted if he had shut me up by kissing me. I forced myself to chase this idea away when I found his troubled eyes on me and I let out the first thing that came to my mind.
“Who’s Charles?”
A glow of sadness made his eyes shine before they become unfathomable again. I felt stupid to have said it instead of anything else, even if curiosity consumed me about it. Who was it? What was the language that Leighton and he spoke? What was the secret he couldn’t or wasn’t willing to tell me? I realized at that moment that Garreth was still a stranger to me. I knew he had an uncle somewhere, that Travis and Leighton were his brother and sister, but I didn’t know anything else. How could I consider something with someone I hardly knew anything about? Perhaps in the end, this need to flee I had often in his company came from my fear of tying myself to someone who remained a mystery to me? I had no idea what Garreth saw on my face but he had to understand or come to the conclusion that I needed some answers if he didn’t want to compromise everything between us.
“He was my father.”
I was surprised, not expecting it since Leighton said “Charles” and not “Dad” or “our father” and he just said “
my
father,” as if Leighton and Travis weren’t concerned. I opened my mouth, ready to tell him he wasn’t obliged to confide more in me, but he beat me to it and continued:
“He and my mother were murdered, years ago.”
I was shocked, but quickly found the strength to get over my emotions for Garreth. Knowing that no words could comfort in such a case, I approached him and grabbed one of his hands in mine to show him my support. To tell him that I shared his pain. He put his other hand on top of mine, which were holding his in a tight grip.
“And...you know who did it?” I inquired awkwardly.
“Yes,” he replied harshly, his eyes vague.
He had that same look he had on the day of the storm. The one that made me feel he was a thousand miles from here, immersed in a turbulent and painful past. Losing someone was hard but losing a family member--his parents, at that--following a murder, must be terrible. The pain he felt must always be accompanied by the anger towards the person who had taken the life of his loved ones. I hoped he or she had paid for those killings. Although giving his attitude, I sensed that it unfortunately hadn’t happened, and it was something that haunted and gnawed at him. Eager to change the subject and because he was finally willing to reveal more about himself, I asked him:
“The language Leighton and you speak, what is it?”
“You don’t know it,” he assured me with a cautious tone, returning to the present moment.
“Thanks but that, I already knew,” I retorted. “But can you tell me where it comes from? Is it the language spoken in the place where you come from? Or is it the language spoken...by one of your parents?”
“This is my native language.”
He said no more. I insisted.
“What else? Where are you from? From which country? Which area?”
“It’s slowly beginning to look like an interrogation,” Garreth replied, pretending fun but I could see that my questions put him in a compromising situation. “Should I call a lawyer, Agent Morgan?”
I sighed at his attempts to evade my questions.
“I know you have secrets, secrets which you can’t and may never be able to tell me. I’m okay with that, because we all have things that we can’t say. But that, you can trust me with, alright? I hardly know anything about you. How can I trust you if you are a complete stranger to me?”
He said nothing. He stared at me and I did the same. The subtext of my last sentence was very clear to him as it was to me: how could I let myself become attached to him if he didn’t let me in at all? Because it was clear that I was falling in love with him. But I hated it in the present situation. He held so many mysteries that I could imagine anything. Did he have a horrible past, apart from what he told me about his parents? Was the murderer of his father and mother coming after him and his family for one reason or another? It seemed straight out of an action movie scenario but something told me it wasn’t that. Not because it was absurd, but because what he was hiding was probably far worse than what I could imagine.
“You really want to know more about me?”
Without any hesitation, I agreed with a nod.
“How about a ride in the car?” he asked me.
Confused, I frowned, not seeing what a ride could teach me about his life.
“You can’t tell me here?”
His face and his eyes didn’t betray what he thought when he repeated:
“You’re in or not?”
There was no animosity in his tone, however, I felt the tension lying underneath. Things were simple: either I went with him and he spoke to me...maybe...or I declined his proposal and there would be nothing for sure.
“Okay...” I finally let go. I glanced at my outfit. “Just give me a few minutes to change into something else and we can leave.”
His eyes betrayed his thoughts as if he had expressed them aloud. They said I could easily have accompanied him dressed as I was...especially when it came to the pink top that revealed too much skin. Too bad for him, I wouldn’t stay in my pink pajamas and bear head-shaped slippers just for his pleasure.
“Take all the time you need,” he finally said, rewarding me with a slight smile before I went upstairs.
***
We drove for a while, in complete silence. I had no idea where he was leading me. I asked him before we left, but he didn’t say anything except that the surprise would please me.
“Tell me more about yourself.”
Brusquely, my head turned in his direction. He couldn’t possibly ask me to tell him more about me, when he hadn’t told me anything about himself. Especially since the whole purpose of this ride was for him to reveal more. Him, not me.
“Are you kidding me?”
He let out a heavy sigh.
“Not at all. Tell me about you and then I’ll let you ask me some questions.”
I quickly understood the game he was trying to play and suddenly, I regretted having agreed to accompany him. I should have known that someone as secretive as he would not suddenly reveal himself just to please me. Even if perhaps he shared some feelings that I’d begun to feel for him.
“You’re not gonna tell me more about you, huh?”
He stopped the car on the side of the road. Casting a glance out the window, I briefly thought of leaving the cabin to go home on foot. But when my eyes met his, I was rooted to the spot. A multitude of emotions shone there.
“I’m going to tell you more about me. I promise. But not right away.”
I understood that he needed time to think about what he could say. A shiver shook me ,imagining the terrible secrets he must have.
“What do you want to know?” I finally asked him.
“I don’t know. Just tell me little things about yourself.”
“Uh...I kinda like all kinds of music. Rock, pop and even classical, the latter because of my grandmother who listened to it a lot. I love all kinds of literature too, with a preference for the romance novels.”
I was silent, feeling stupid for not having anything better to say. It was uninteresting at best.
“What’s wrong?” he asked because of my long silence, throwing me a quick glance.
“Is that really interesting to you?” I inquired but leaving him no time to answer, I continued: “No, because I think others have told you everything there is to know about me, so it’s best that I stop there.”
“And what is it that the others are supposed to have already told me about you?”
I watched him. His eyes were firmly fixed on the road, but his jaw was contracted, as if I had let something wrong slip out.
“Oh, please,” I said, a little exasperated because he was acting as if he didn’t know what I was talking about. “Don’t try to convince me that in school, you haven’t heard the gossip about me. The poor little orphan who lost her parents in an unexplained car accident, who is stuck with her sassy sister now that her weird grandmother is dead. Everyone avoids her and probably even advised you to do the same because her family has always been different and strange and, like her sister, she can only cause you problems if you spend time with her.”
He gave me a brief look that made me realize that I was not alone in being “a little exasperated” by the other.
“As you said, it’s gossip. It’s not you, it’s just the perception that people have of you because they don’t know you. And I want to know
you
, not the Deliah that people think they know everything about because they got wind of things and events which they know nothing about in reality.”
The emotion came over me, making me unable to speak. I was only able to stare at his profile. He went on without even noticing the effect that his statement had on me.
“But if the opinion of others is so important to you and you define yourself by what they think of you, then you should know that we have at least one thing in common, because my family and I are just as eccentric as yours. Moreover, we have something else in common because the others avoid us, too.”
“No, that’s your doing,” I blurted out before I had time to think that maybe it would have been better to stay quiet.
The car stopped, but I didn’t pay attention to it, I was focused on the penetrating gaze Garreth sent me at that very moment.
“Really?”
“Yes. You keep people at a distance and not the contrary. And even if you assure me that this is not the case, you keep me out, too. For example, you entrust me with mundane things that don’t allow me to understand who you really are.”
He smiled without joy at my last sentence.
“Obviously, we have a third thing in common because you act exactly the same, Deliah.”
“That’s not--”
I didn’t go further, the veracity of his words hit me like a ton of bricks. He was right. I wanted to distance myself from him and, since the beginning, so he wouldn’t know about all the strange things that took place in my life since Tess’ death. Because if he found out, he would take me for a crazy person. And God only knew what would happen if people got wind of this story. I was good to spend the rest of my life in a padded cell. However, the two cases were not comparable. Where I was lying to protect myself, he hid the truth for other reasons that had surely nothing to do with mine.