ShadowsofNight (28 page)

“Did he rape you or did you give yourself to him willingly?
Because what I smelled was powerful lust,” he spat.

“That son of a bitch
drugged
me. I didn’t have any
control over my body’s chemical response, you idiot!”

“Why didn’t you call out to me? Why did you wait?”

“Is that what this is about? I didn’t call to you sooner? I
didn’t fight hard enough? So you decided to punish me without taking into
account the horror I suffered at the hands of that monster? I sought your
comfort and tenderness. I’m
hurting
, and this is how you repay me, by acting
like this was somehow my fault? Un-fucking-believable.” She scrambled away from
him.

“I can’t get that shit out of my head, no matter how hard I
try. What I smelled. What he said. So help me, I wish I could.”

“Great. You believe the enemy. And I’m being victimized all
over again,” she replied, her voice shaking as she climbed off the bed. It was
obvious her body was still in heat, and his dick was still rock-hard. He rubbed
his hands down his face and took a deep breath, trying to control the raw
emotions and lust coursing through him.

He heard the bathroom door close and the shower turn on but
that still couldn’t drown out the sound of her sobs. Damn, he felt like a real
ass. She was a victim. Why couldn’t he accept that and just be with her?

A short time later, she appeared with a towel wrapped around
her body and marched straight into the closet. He got up from the bed, walked
over to the door and leaned on the frame, watching her change. Whatever drug
she was given must not have been very potent, or perhaps it had been a small
dose, because it appeared the effects were wearing off.

“We should talk about this.”

“I have nothing more to say to you.” She pulled on a pair of
boots and laced them.

“What is that supposed to mean? We
have
to talk.”

“It means I can’t be with a man who could be so heartless as
to think I would
enjoy
being knocked out by my enemy, stripped naked, tied
down, drugged and almost raped.”

“Emma—”

“It’s too late. Move out of my way.”

“You don’t have a choice.” He grabbed her arm.

“I didn’t have a choice then, but I do now. Let go of me.”
She yanked her arm free.

“Did you fuck him thinking he might let you go, to trick him
or something, and then started to enjoy it? Help me understand why I smelled
desire.” He threw up his hands.

“What are you
talking
about? I prayed like hell that
my body wouldn’t betray me. Whatever that shit was, it was potent!”

“Did he…” Christian closed his eyes, not able to fully get
the words out.

“I never had intercourse with the bastard!” she shouted.
“What part of ‘
almost
raped’ don’t you understand? Petrina interrupted
him before he got a chance to rape me! And just so we’re clear—I’d rather die a
thousand deaths than willingly let that monster enter me under any
circumstances!”

“Shit…Em. I’m sorry. Hell, I was upset. He said you two had
been together. I smelled your desire. I—”

“Do you have any idea the torture I went through?
Do you?
No, you don’t. I fought so hard and all I kept thinking about was you. I couldn’t
control what was happening to my body. It was awful. And even if I
had
gotten off? Do you think I’d be happy about it? I can’t believe you’d think
that little of me. Even when my body started to succumb to the effects of the
drugs, I still refused him. But you’re clearly too pigheaded to understand the
difference between rape and mutual consent. I didn’t have the ability to choose
because it had been stripped from me! Whatever lust you smelled was my body’s
reaction to the drugs he gave me and nothing more.”

“Em, please…I—” He tried to reach for her.

“Don’t touch me.” She stormed out of the room.

I’m such an ass.
She’s right.
Second-guessing
her loyalty to him, and choosing to trust Dorian, was a low blow. No wonder she
was hurt. After what she’d been through, comfort should have been his first
thought. But instead he’d completely blown it.

He threw on a pair of pants and traced downstairs to find
her.

“Emma!” He had to fix this between them, and fast. Fear shot
up his spine. Boy, he’d fucked this one up royally.

“She’s left with Petrina,” Lena said, entering the main
hall.

“Did she say where she was going?” he growled.
Damn it. She
didn’t waste time.

“No, why?”

“Shit!” He traced back upstairs to throw his shirt and shoes
on. Lena walked into the room with a stricken look on her face.

“What happened?” Lena asked.

“I did something unforgivable.” He turned to face her. “And
because of what I’ve done, I may lose her for good.” He sat down on the bed and
hung his head in shame.

“What did you do?” Lena came over and sat next to him.

“Dorian lied to me. Told me Emma had given herself to him. I
didn’t believe it until I smelled her desire all over him. I went crazy after
that, and when I found her, I didn’t know what to do. I brought her back here.
I wasn’t going to bed her. My plan was to stay away, to think. But the breeding
drugs and my connection to her were making it hard to resist and…and then we
started fighting afterward. She wanted my comfort after the horror she’d
experienced, and instead I accused her of lusting for him. How sick is that?”

“Um, that’s…pretty bad.”

“Yeah, no shit. I don’t know what to do.” He had screwed up
so badly he didn’t know where to begin to fix things.

“Maybe if you give her some time she’ll forgive you.” He
could tell Lena was trying to be supportive.

“I don’t think time is going to repair what I’ve done.”

“Her bond to you is much stronger than you think.”

He hoped so, but right now things were looking pretty bleak
and the outcome of a happy ending wasn’t in Christian’s favor.

Six month later…

Emma watched the rain making funny patterns on her bedroom
window.
It’s starting to really come down out there.
The skies had opened
up, releasing a heavy downpour that brought back memories of her time spent in
London.

God.
Her time in England seemed like a lifetime ago.She pressed her cheek against the cool pane of glass and closed her eyes,
letting her mind drift. Inevitably it followed the same predictable path,
focusing on the one person it shouldn’t.

Christian.

I’d better stop.
It’s not good for me or him.
The
last time she’d allowed herself to go there it had left her depressed for
almost a week.

He’d tried for weeks after the split to make contact so he
could apologize. Expressing his regret, his sorrow and how much he loved her.

She opened the window and placed her hand outside, letting
rain lightly fan across her skin like a soft caress. The clean earthy smell and
the drafty breeze caused her to shiver a little. She closed the window and took
a step back.

A little kick inside her abdomen caused her to pause. She
placed her hand on her stomach and rubbed it gently.

“Yes, it’s cold outside. Mommy closed it. But it shouldn’t
bother you. You’re all warm and snuggly inside me,” she whispered, crossing
over to the bed and pulling the covers back. She usually stayed awake at night,
even though she wasn’t confined to darkness. But as the baby grew inside her,
she noticed she needed to rest more often than before.

Petrina and she had grown close over the last several
months, though her sister’s fussing over the pregnancy sometimes got annoying.
She meant well. Lately, her concern had become a constant sore subject between
them. She kept dropping hints about forgiving Christian for the baby’s sake.

“I don’t know, little guy.”She rubbed her belly
again, feeling the baby move in response to her voice.

She
had
been trying to work up the courage to contact
Christian. But every time she thought about it, fear got in the way.
I’m
still not ready yet. Soon, though. I’ll tell him soon.
The baby wasn’t
conceived under the best of circumstances but that didn’t matter. She would
never give up this little one.

She crawled under the covers. Petrina was out running errands
and it was the perfect time to relax and enjoy the quiet.

“Soon it won’t be, not after you arrive into the world, my
little man.” She smiled, turning onto her side. She knew intuitively that she
carried a son.
I can’t wait to meet you.
She started to hum a lullaby
while her hand gently caressed her distended belly. The baby was really moving
now. She loved the feel of his movement inside her. How weird to think she’d
resisted the idea of becoming a mother, and now she couldn’t wait to be one.She continued humming her serenade to him.

“Lovely melody,” a familiar masculine voice whispered.

She felt the bed dip and her mate’s heated breath, warm and
inviting, tickled her neck. She took a deep breath and glanced over her
shoulder.

“Christian…how did you find me?” She peered at his handsome
face and butterflies danced around her stomach. The pain of seeing him again
made it difficult to breathe.

She rolled over to face him—and his eyes widened when his
gaze traveled down her body and focused on her swollen belly.

“P-Petrina contacted me,” he stuttered. “She told me where I
could find you. Now I understand why she stayed downstairs.” He cleared his
throat, evidently in shock.

“Oh,” she breathed. Fear inched up her spine as he continued
to stare at her stomach.
Well…now he knows.

“How are you feeling?” His voice softened and so did his
expression.

Was he upset with her for not telling him about the baby? “I’m
okay, I guess. And you?”
This is awkward.
She pulled the blankets around
her stomach when he scooted closer
.

“Em, I— Shit.” He closed his eyes. “I can’t believe this.”

“I didn’t ask you to come here and I’m certainly not asking
you to be responsible for this baby.” When her voice wavered, she cleared her
throat and inched away.

“Is that what you think? God, Emma, that would be the
furthest thing from my mind.
Of
course
I want to be responsible
for you and the baby. I love you. I’m just afraid I’ll say the wrong thing and
scare you away again. I’ve made such a mess of things.” He had tears in his
eyes now.

Oh shit, not good, because that was going to make her cry
too.
Damn hormones.
It was more than that though. She still loved him. Had
missed him every single day they were apart.
Why deny it?

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t know how to tell you about the
baby after everything that happened between us.” She cradled her stomach,
trying to swallow the lump in her throat.

“You don’t owe me an apology after what I’ve put you
through. How could you trust me enough to share your joy after I hurt you so deeply?
I’d give anything to take it all back, I swear I would. Will you ever find it
in your heart to forgive me?” he asked.

She put her hands on his cheeks, wiping away the tears that
fell freely down his face, his sorrow over what he’d done clearly evident.

“I’ve forgiven you,” she whispered, “but I also kind of owe
you an apology too.”

“What in the hell for?” he asked. “You’ve done nothing
wrong.”

“If I hadn’t been so hesitant about making a commitment to
this relationship, maybe you wouldn’t have second-guessed my love or my loyalty
toward you.”

“Em…don’t. That’s my fault. Not yours.” He grabbed her
shoulders.

“No, wait a minute. I’m not saying my actions justify what
you did. That’s not it. But they didn’t help the situation either.”

“I won’t let you shoulder any of the responsibility for what
I did. It’s not right.”

“Okay.” She looked away and sighed.

“Hey, don’t turn away,” he murmured. “It feels like a
lifetime since I’ve seen that lovely face of yours.”

“I’ve missed you too, so much. I
did
want to see you.
I was just too scared to contact you. These hormones have made me so emotional
and I look fat and—”

“You don’t see yourself the way I do. ‘Fat’ isn’t what comes
to mind when I look at you.” He leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

“If you think beached whales are sexy, then I guess you’re
right.” She frowned.

“Trust me. You’re wrong.”

“Come here.” She pulled him toward her. Christian wore a
white button-down dress shirt that was open at the collar. She ran her hand down
his throat then along his jawline. He leaned into her touch, their intimate
connection bittersweet after such a long absence.

“I’m glad you’re here,” she whispered.

“So am I.” He closed his eyes and she heard a low rumble of
approval emitting from his chest that made her swallow hard.

“Would you like to meet him?”

“You don’t mind if I touch your stomach?” He opened his
eyes. “I wanted to ask earlier but I didn’t know how you’d respond.”

“Yes, of course you can.” She nodded, pulling her nightgown
up to expose her belly. He leaned forward and gently rested his ear on top to
listen. The urge to run her fingers through his hair was hard to resist.

“I can’t believe this is really happening.” His voice
sounded hoarse with emotion. He turned his head and began to kiss her belly as
he whispered heartfelt words to his unborn son that brought tears to her eyes.
Without warning, he lifted his head and captured her lips, giving her a kiss
that stole her breath away.

When he stopped they were both breathing heavy. “I’m sorry.
I just couldn’t help myself. I’ve missed you so much and I’m praying that we
can work this out so we can be together again. Is that possible?”

“Yes,” she panted, “now kiss me again.” His lips met hers
and his tongue delved inside, stroking, teasing. Her hands gripped his
shoulders, needing something to cling to. She wanted to feel every part of him.
Her eyes closed and she savored the way his tongue manipulated her body,
arousing her in such a way that she thought she might literally come out of her
skin.

His hands cupped her face and he stared into her eyes. “I
should probably stop now before things get out of hand.”

“No, I think it should be fine as long as you’re gentle with
me.”
Stop? What? No!

“Okay, but the baby…” He sounded a little hesitant.

“Please don’t stop. I need you,” she replied. He lowered his
head and gently nipped at her breast through her nightgown. Emma’s breath
hitched and her body trembled.

“If that is your wish, I’ll not deny you, my love.” His
hands gripped her gown and the material tore away. He cupped her breasts,
running his tongue over a nipple. He drew the tip into his mouth with strong
tugs that made her belly clench. She moaned, running her fingers through his
hair, drawing him closer.

“Take these off.” She wanted to feel him against her, skin
on skin. Christian released her breast and climbed off the mattress while Emma
quickly untangled herself from the ruined nightgown. He removed his clothes and
placed them on the ottoman in front of the bed. She ached at the sight of him
standing there like fantasy in the flesh, her powerful, sexy warrior, ready to
devour her. He pulled the covers down and crawled toward her.

“You’re so beautiful.” He rose to his knees, his heavy sex
straining between his legs. “Come here, I want to be careful when I take you so
I don’t hurt the baby.” He reached for her and helped her up to her knees so
they were facing each other.

“I trust you,” she whispered.

“I’ll never do anything to break that trust again. I
promise.” He gently kissed her hand before pulling her into his arms.

The feel of being in her lover’s embrace again…there were no
words. Christian covered her mouth while his hand traveled lower and breached
her pussy, separating the inner folds.

He groaned. “You’re so wet. Open your legs a little wider.”
Two fingers slid in and out while another rubbed her swollen clit. She shifted
her legs wider to give him even better access, her hips moving against his hand.
She moaned loudly. Her nipples tightened to aching points, dragging against his
chest, heightening her pleasure. But she needed more.

“Please…” She wanted him inside her so badly. Her need was
rising and it wasn’t just for his sex, she wanted his blood too.

He lay back on the bed. “Straddle me, that way you’re in
control of how deep you take me inside your body.”

She slipped her leg over his waist and positioned her hips
above his cock. She grabbed the base of his shaft and slowly rubbed the crown
between her drenched folds, causing them both to groan. His thick erection
teasing her core only made her wetter. He gently caressed her back and she
sensed he was trying his best to remain still.

She couldn’t wait any longer and eased herself down. The
crown separated her folds and slid in, filling her with his length. She moaned,
sliding lower. Beneath her, Christian’s legs trembled and his hands gripped her
waist, holding her. All she felt was raw pleasure. The intensity of it surged
through her body, causing her to shiver. Before she realized it, she was
completely seated.

“Oh yesss…” She leaned forward, gripping his shoulders, and
began to move.

“Emma, y-you need to slow down. Easy, I don’t want to hurt
you.” His hands trembled, reaching for her face to get her attention. But each
time she raised up and slid down, his eyes rolled back in his head and he
shuddered.

“Can’t…it feels too good,” she bit out and kept going. He
slowly started to rock his hips with hers, increasing the friction between
them.

“You’re mine,” he rasped, pinching her nipples then kneading
her flesh with each thrust.

“Faster,” she moaned.

Christian thrust upward, giving her what she asked for,
causing her to moan louder as he continued to meet her body with his hips. She
let him take control and he drove into her faster, deeper, until she came apart
around him. Her vaginal walls clenched the thick hardness of his shaft, causing
her to scream his name.

“Emma, drink from me,” he growled. She leaned forward, fangs
extended, and pierced the side of his neck, letting his rich blood flow down
her throat. He jerked violently and finally released inside her body as she
took from him. Warm semen shooting inside her set off a second orgasm, causing
her body to quake. She released his neck and screamed his name in gasping
breaths as her muscles continued to spasm around his cock.

When her body finally stilled, he sat up and gently rolled
her onto her back. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m quite content, and relaxed enough that I could sleep if
you hold me.” She smiled.

“You just try to keep me away now. Let me grab a towel to
clean you up. I’ll be right back.” He jumped off the bed and went into the
bathroom. Her eyes felt heavy but the weariness from before was gone. She
really did like the idea of him taking care of her.

He returned and gently cleaned her, then she felt the bed
dip and his arms encircled her before pulling her against his body. His hands
slid over her stomach, caressing it gently, and the movement inside increased.

“He’s moving a lot. I think we woke him,” she laughed.

“We did?” His hand stilled on her belly. “I love you two so
much.”

She turned her head and kissed his shoulder. “And we love
you too.”

Christian rested his chin on top of her head. “You and the
baby need to see my personal doctor as soon as possible. I want to make sure
everything is okay.”

“That’s probably not a bad idea. I’ve been afraid to go to a
regular one.” He pulled her closer against him. She could tell he didn’t like
hearing that but he didn’t say anything.