Shaken to the Core (34 page)

Giuliana’s cheeks turned a soft pink.

Chuckling, Lucy patted her arm.

Heavens, was it really necessary for her to touch Giuliana that much?

“Just make sure you get enough water and stay hydrated, all right?” Lucy said with a final pat. “The hand should be fine in a week or two.”

Giuliana nodded. “Thank you.”

When they turned to leave Lucy to her other duties, Lucy called, “Kate? Do you have a minute?”

Kate’s heartbeat sped up. Was Giuliana’s injury worse than she had let on? Or had Lucy noticed the resentment radiating off Kate every time she touched Giuliana or spoke to her too intimately? She glanced at Giuliana. “I’ll be right out.”

Frowning, Giuliana looked from her to Lucy and back before heading toward the tent’s exit.

Kate watched her go. The urge to rush after her, away from whatever Lucy wanted, gripped her.

Lucy straightened and rolled her shoulders. A few bones in her spine popped. “What’s wrong?”

“Wrong?” Kate repeated. It sounded lame, even to herself.

“You were looking at me as if you wanted to strangle me.”

Had she really? Kate hadn’t meant to. She liked Lucy; she just didn’t like it when she touched Giuliana.

“Look, I hated not being able to give her anything for the pain too, but I can’t justify it. We’ve got patients who lost a limb or have much worse burns than Giuliana.”

“Oh, no, that’s all right. I understand. I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

“What is it, then?”

Kate squirmed and shuffled her feet on the trampled grass. “We can talk about it another time. When you’re not on duty.”

“Well, officially, I’ve been off duty for at least an hour, but I keep getting caught up with patients. And there are more waiting, so spit it out.” When Kate remained silent, Lucy sighed. “I know we haven’t known each other for long, but I think of you as a kindred spirit.” Her voice was soft, as if she were talking to a scared animal or a patient. “I hope you think of me the same way and know that you can talk to me—about anything.”

Kate gave a weak nod. So Lucy had sensed it too. They were alike, maybe because they were both women who weren’t content with the life as wives and mothers that society expected of them. “I…” She snapped her mouth shut. No. She could never voice the thoughts that had been going through her mind. If this was where their similarities ended, Lucy would be horrified.

“Look.” Lucy rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands and then studied Kate. “I’m too tired for diplomacy, so I’ll come right out and say it.”

The lump in her throat prevented Kate from speaking, so she just nodded.

“I like Giuliana.”

Hearing it felt as if someone was stabbing her with a red-hot shard of metal—and then slowly twisting it in her belly. Her hands curled into fists, and she only noticed when her fingernails dug into her palms. “I…I know,” was all she could get out.

“Of course I do,” Lucy continued. “She’s a fine young woman, hardworking, loyal, and kind.”

Yes, Giuliana was all that and so much more. Grimly, Kate nodded, all the while staring at the squished grass beneath her feet.

“But that doesn’t mean I’m in love with her.”

Kate’s gaze flew up. “Of course not. You are both women, so you can’t…” Her mind flashed back to Esther and Florence, the two young women who had been caught kissing at college. “I mean, you shouldn’t be…you know.”

A mild smile curled Lucy’s lips. “That’s what society wants us to think. My medical textbooks called it sexual inversion, as if it were a sickness. But you know what my grandmother told me when I asked her about my aunts? She said that life is too short to throw away love, no matter what form it comes in.”

Kate felt as if Lucy’s words were the world’s fastest automobile and her own brain a lame horse, too slow to keep pace. Why would Lucy’s grandmother say something like that? What exactly did it mean? “Your aunts?”

“Well, only Aunt Amy is my aunt by blood. Aunt Rika is…” Lucy lowered her voice even more. “They live together.”

Two widows or spinsters living together wasn’t that uncommon, but Kate sensed that there was something more behind Lucy’s words. The tiny hairs along her arms prickled with a mix of tension and excitement. “You mean…?”

Lucy nodded. She moved a little closer so no one could overhear. “They share their lives…and their bed.”

Was she hallucinating from thirst and all the smoke she’d inhaled? She couldn’t believe that Lucy would talk so openly about women having relations with other women. “And your grandmother knows about it?”

“The entire family knows,” Lucy said.

Kate couldn’t imagine telling her parents something like that. Her father would drown her in the bay before he allowed a daughter of his to have such unnatural urges. “Weren’t they terribly upset when they found out?”

That mysterious little smile darted across Lucy’s face again. “No. Not the way you think. It’s quite common in my family.”

Surely she had misunderstood. “W-what’s common?” she finally dared to ask.

“Let’s just say that aside from my parents and my brother, the reverend didn’t have much marrying to do on our ranch.”

“You…you mean…?”

Lucy nodded.

Kate gaped at her. She knew her jaw was hanging open, but she couldn’t help it. All her life she had felt different, as if she were the only woman in this world, certainly in this city, who had ever noticed how sweet and inviting the curve of another women’s lips looked and how wonderful their skin smelled. Well, Esther and Florence had noticed too, but they had paid a high price for it. And now Lucy was telling her that not only was there a whole ranch full of women just like her, but that they found their…inclinations…perfectly normal? Finally, she got her vocal cords to work again. “So you…?”

Another nod from Lucy. She looked Kate in the eyes, not hanging her head in shame. “Have you ever noticed how children often resemble one of their parents or both of them or maybe even their grandparents? One might inherit a hook nose while the other has the red hair that runs in the family.” She tugged on her own flaming-red strands.

Kate nodded shakily. Of course she knew that, but what did that have to do with…what they had been talking about?

“I’ve come to believe that it—the gender of the person who captures your heart—is an inherited trait, like hair color.”

Kate huffed out a breath. “That can’t be true. There’s no one in my family like me.” Her hand flew to her mouth, but it was too late to hold back the words that betrayed her feelings.

“It doesn’t work quite like that for everyone. But you don’t need a scientific lecture. I just wanted to let you know there’s no reason to stare daggers at me. Your Giuliana is a sweet girl, and I hope we can be friends, but that’s all.”

Kate dipped her gaze to the ground. “She’s not my Giuliana.”

Lucy just smiled and patted her arm, the way she’d done with Giuliana earlier. She pointed at something behind Kate. “Don’t let her wait too long.”

When Kate turned, Giuliana was peeking into the tent and sending her a quizzical glance.

“Oh. I have to go. Can we keep this…what we talked about…between us?”

“Of course. No one will find out from me. But maybe you should think about telling her.” Lucy pointed toward the tent’s entrance, where Giuliana was still waiting.

Kate stared at her. “Oh no. I could never…I can’t risk…” The mere thought made her heart race. “I need to go. Thank you.” With cheeks that glowed hotter than they had right next to the fire, Kate walked through the rows of cots toward the exit. The moans of the patients reached her ears as if from very far away. Her head was reeling with everything Lucy had told her. When she reached Giuliana, she stepped past her, out of the tent, without looking her in the eyes. “Sorry for making you wait.” She started making her way through the busy camp, hoping to escape any questions.

Giuliana hastened after her. “What did she want?”

Kate walked even faster until Giuliana had to almost run to keep up. “Uh, nothing. Nothing important.”

“Nothing important? She did not sleep since two days, and she calls you back to speak about nothing important?” Disbelief colored Giuliana’s tone. “And why do we run?”

Kate forced herself to slow down a little. If only her racing heartbeat would slow down too. “Sorry.”

“What did she say?” Giuliana asked as they ducked beneath a clothesline people had strung between two tents.

“It was nothing you need to concern yourself with,” Kate repeated what her parents always said whenever they talked about something they regarded as an inappropriate topic for a young lady of her standing. Not that it ever worked for them.

Giuliana gripped Kate’s sleeve with her uninjured hand. “I know what is happening.”

The breath she had just drawn whooshed from Kate’s lungs, and her stomach seemed to shrivel into a tiny ball. “You…you do?”

“
Naturalmenti
. I cannot read, but I am not dumb. A fool can see what is happening.”

A tremor started deep inside of Kate. What if Giuliana rejected her and sent her away in disgust? She didn’t dare looking at her.

Giuliana stepped around Kate and blocked her way. She put both hands on Kate’s shoulders, even the bandaged one. “But you can put that idea from your head. I will not allow it.”

Kate stared down at Giuliana’s hands. The thumbs rested along her collarbones. Surely Giuliana could feel her heart hammering away. “I know,” she whispered. “Nothing will happen. I didn’t mean to scare you or—”

“I am not scared. I do not care that my hand is hurt. I do not let you go alone.”

“Go alone?” Were they talking about the same thing? “Go where?”

“To get more medicines for the patients of Lucy.” Giuliana pulled her hands away. Her brow crinkled as she studied Kate. “Is this not what you spoke about? I thought Lucy wanted you to get more medicines and you did not want me to go with you because I hurt my hand.”

Kate’s ability to breathe returned. She sucked in a lungful of air and sent a quick glance skyward.
Thank you, Lord.
Giuliana didn’t know.

“Is that not it? Did Lucy say something different?”

“Um…No, you were right. She asked, but I told her that now that I don’t have the automobile anymore, it’s impossible anyway.” She hated lying to Giuliana, but she couldn’t tell her the truth. Not when it could cost her Giuliana’s friendship.

Giuliana looked at her with that tiny wrinkle between her brows for a moment longer before nodding. “Good.” Without another word, she turned and walked toward where they had last seen Biddy and Kate’s parents.

Kate blew out a shaky breath. Her secret was safe, at least from Giuliana. But now Lucy knew—and she kept the same secret, although it didn’t seem to be such a sordid, shameful thing for her.
Merciful heavens.
Her head was spinning as if the ground were still shaking. But now was not the time to think about it. If she stood around for much longer, Giuliana would start asking questions again. She gave herself a mental kick and hurried after her.

* * *

“They want me to wear these things, can you believe it?” Mrs. Winthrop held out the pair of simple leather shoes the army had handed out to her.

Giuliana wriggled her bare toes. She had taken off her shoes to cool her blisters as soon as she’d sat down. “Is better than nothing, no?” she said quietly.

Mrs. Winthrop made a face. “I suppose.”

They had all seen better days. Giuliana glanced down at her skirt, which had been too long this morning but now reached only halfway down her shins since she
’d ripped off a piece of fabric. The once-white shirtwaist was gray from the soot and smoke. She wasn’t wearing a hat and didn’t want to even imagine what her hair might look like. Her feet burned; her ankle was swollen; her hand pounded, and there wasn’t an inch of her body that didn’t ache in some way. She was covered in bruises and scratches. Still, she was alive—and so was Kate.

Giuliana glanced over at her.

Kate was leaning back against the carrying case that held her camera and the revolver, nursing her bowl of soup. Dark shadows smudged the skin beneath her eyes, but her eyes sparked with the excitement of the photographs she’d taken of the people in the park this afternoon—children playing baseball with sticks, a Chinese houseboy eating side by side with white gentlemen, and a rich lady giving her silk chemise to swaddle the baby of a washerwoman who had just given birth in Golden Gate Park.

The earthquake, it seemed, had made all people equal. No one was complaining about going from dining on lobster bisque and lamb roast to gnawing on a piece of dry bread.

Well, no one but Kate’s mother. Giuliana bit back a smile. She cupped her good hand around her tin bowl. Her ration of soup was long gone, but the metal still provided some warmth. Now that the sun was starting to set and the fog was rolling in, the temperature dropped. She shivered in the cool, moist wind.

“Here,” Kate said and held out her tin bowl. “You can have the rest.”

“Oh, no. I am not thirsty.” Giuliana’s throat was still parched, but Kate needed the liquid just as much.

Kate kept holding out the bowl. “Take it. Lucy said to keep you hydrated.”

“Why don’t ye come over and have some coffee?” the woman at the campfire next to them called.

Coffee? Giuliana stared at the stranger. Earlier, she had seen coffee being sold for twenty-five cents a cup, and the woman wanted to give it away for free?

“There’s also a bit of beans and potatoes left over,” the woman added.

“Are you sure you can spare it?” Kate asked with a glance at the gaggle of children sleeping beneath an improvised tent made of sticks and an ash-stained carpet.

The woman smiled and shrugged. “What’s a few more mouths to feed, right, Jimmy?”

Her husband nodded. “That’s what we say with every new baby.” His grin looked tired, but he moved closer to his wife to make room for them at the fire.

Mrs. Winthrop hesitated but then followed her daughter and husband.

Their neighbors introduced themselves as James and Margaret O’Brien.

Giuliana greeted them and held her good hand out to the fire with a sigh of relief. The other still throbbed where she held it against her stomach, but at least her front was getting warm.