Shaken Up (6 page)

I could barely eat my dinner that night, I was so upset about the absolutely awful day I'd had. It didn't help that Maisie was bragging to my dad about her awesome dental checkup. But I let her talk, because I didn't want to get into any more trouble! It was time for things to get better, not worse.

When dinner was over, Maisie went up to her room, but my parents asked me to stick around so they could talk to me.

“Devin, we don't want you to worry about us not coming to tomorrow's game,” my mom said in a gentle tone. It didn't help. I was still mad at her for not realizing that the fight about the dentist was all Maisie's fault. “Maisie's game is at one, and yours is at two. We can do both.”

“But they're so close together,” I pointed out.

“Maisie's game won't be as long as a middle school game,” Dad said. “We might miss the first few minutes of your game, but we will be there. I promise. I haven't missed one of your games yet, and I'm not about to start now!” He smiled. “Okay?”

I nodded. “Okay,” I said flatly, not believing they could possibly make it in time. “Can I be excused now?”

My mom and dad exchanged glances before my mom answered, “Of course.”

I headed up to my room to
not
video chat with Kara and to
not
text with Jessi, Frida, Emma, and Zoe. I figured I would go stare at the wall until I fell asleep. But the problem was, I couldn't fall asleep. I kept staring at the trophy on my shelf, remembering how it had almost fallen onto my head. And when I did fall asleep, I tossed and turned all night.

•  •  •

The next morning I had dark circles under my eyes. Great! I felt like I hadn't slept at all. It was definitely not the way I wanted to start a game day.

My mom had arranged for me to ride to the game with Jessi and her parents, since both of my parents would be at Maisie's game. It felt weird. I was so used to my pregame ritual of riding in the Marshmallow (that was what my family called our white minivan) with my ear buds in, listening to music to get me pumped up. Not that Jessi's parents weren't super nice, because they were, and I
always liked hanging out with Jessi. But it just didn't feel right.

“Why didn't you answer any of my texts last night?” Jessi whispered to me in the backseat.

I sighed. “Because Maisie is clearly on this planet to ruin my life,” I said, before I launched into the sad tale of the kiddie dentist.

Jessi, who didn't have any brothers or sisters, shook her head in sympathy. “That stinks, Devin. Sometimes I wish I had a little sister, but not when I hear stories like that. Anyway, cheer up! Today is game day, the day you live for!”

I hadn't jumped out of bed this morning like it was Christmas. Instead I had dragged myself out, wondering what new disaster would happen today.

I forced a smile for Jessi's sake. “Yeah!” I tried to sound peppy, but I couldn't convince myself—or Jessi.

“You'll feel better once you're on the field,” Jessi said so confidently that I almost believed her.

But things did not get better right away. When we did our pregame cartwheels, I fell over and ate grass. I halfheartedly chanted along with the rest of the team for “I Believe,” and during warm-ups I felt stiff and clunky.

We were playing on the soccer field at Rancho Verdes Middle School. The field didn't have bleachers, so people coming to the games had to bring their own chairs. It looked like a party, with a lot of the parents bringing coolers full of food and sitting under umbrellas.

My face must have fallen when I didn't spot my parents with the other families. Jessi noticed. “What's wrong?” she asked.

“It's just so weird not seeing my parents in the crowd,” I said. “I'm used to them cheering me on. I don't see how they are going to make it to my game and to Maisie's, too.”

Jamie, who had been warming up next to us, looked at me. “Sorry, but you better get used to it,” she said. “It'll be easier if you do.” But she didn't say it in her usual bratty way. In fact, she almost sounded sympathetic. I looked at her for a second, unsure what to make of her comment. I was about to ask her what she meant, when Coach called us all together.

“We're facing the Grizzlies today. They're undefeated. We're going to need to put in our best effort,” said Coach Darby in her no-nonsense way. “Devin, Kelly, and Mirabelle, you're starting as forwards. Get out there and get aggressive right away. We need to set the tone for this game from the start and force the Grizzlies to chase after that ball. We can't give them an inch.”

I felt a momentary surge of happiness. If Coach thought we needed to put our best foot forward and she'd chosen to start me, maybe it meant she
did
believe in me, even after that bad pass yesterday. I was determined to prove to Coach Darby that she could trust me.

That was probably why I was way too overeager when I hit the field. The Griffons' midfielders got possession of
the ball immediately, and Kristin passed it to me. I shot forward to meet it and ran a little ahead of it to get as close to the goal as possible. I aimed and sent a perfect kick into the goal, just out of reach of the goalie's outstretched arms.

The referee's whistle blew. “Offsides!” he shouted.

I was so excited at the idea of scoring during the first few seconds of the game that I hadn't realized that I had outrun the Grizzlies' defenders, when I should have backed up to receive Kristin's pass. Since I was offsides, the goal was no good. I heard our team groan in disappointment.

“Pay attention, Devin!” Coach Darby yelled.

And that wasn't my only mistake. I was so shaken up that I missed an easy pass, and a Grizzlies defender came in and stole the ball. One of their forwards took it down the field and scored. Griffons 0, Grizzlies 1.

I felt like the goal was totally my fault! Again I checked the spectators, hoping to see my parents' faces to give me a surge of support so I could shake off the way I had been playing. But they weren't there, and while I was looking for them, I missed another pass. The second in a matter of minutes! I couldn't believe it. My face turned bright red. I felt totally mortified.

My shoulders slumped as the whistle blew, signaling the end of the first quarter. Coach Darby was waiting for me on the sidelines.

“Devin, I don't know what's going on with you today,
but we can't afford these kinds of mistakes,” she said, as blunt as always. “You're out and Jamie is in.”

Jamie jogged onto the field without even looking at me. I slumped onto the ground, feeling completely embarrassed at how I had played. This was just like the last game all over again! Only this time it was bad playing. I couldn't blame it on a shoelace.

“You can't win them all, Devin,” Katie, benched too, said to me. I guessed she was trying to cheer me up. But it just made me feel even more self-conscious.

“Yeah,” I said as I fixed my eyes on the field, pretending to be absorbed in watching the game. Katie took the hint and didn't say anything else, which was a relief. I didn't feel like talking.

The Grizzlies had turned up their aggressiveness and tightened their defense. Jamie had squeezed through their defense and had a clear path to the goal, when a Grizzlies defender slid toward her, looking like she was trying to trip Jamie. Yet at the last minute Jamie was able to deftly turn herself and the ball away, maneuvering around the defender and giving herself a clear shot at the goal. She took it and scored. Griffons 1, Grizzlies 1.

When the Grizzlies saw how dangerous Jamie was, they overcompensated by concentrating on her. It gave Mirabelle some breathing room, and Sasha in midfield sent her a pass that led to another scoring opportunity for the Griffons. We were now 2–1.

I heard a familiar voice cheering from the sidelines. I looked across the field and saw my dad, hooting and hollering about the goal my team had just made. He met my eyes and waved at me enthusiastically. Mom and Maisie, who was still in her soccer uniform, were sitting with him, clapping and cheering too. It felt so good to see them that for a moment I forgot how horrible I had played. Then I remembered and just felt terrible all over again. At least my family hadn't been there to see it.

After Mirabelle scored, the Grizzlies seemed unsure about who to cover. The defenders couldn't control Mirabelle or Jamie, who were consistently breaking free and dribbling through the defense. They were aided by our midfielders and defenders, who were dominating the ball. With that kind of pressure, the Griffons were able to put two more balls into the net.

When the game ended 4–1, my teammates went wild. After all, we had just beaten an undefeated team. Even though I joined the group hug and cheer, I felt totally empty. The win had had nothing to do with me. And yes, soccer was a team sport, but the only thing I had done this game was to help the Grizzlies score their only goal. I didn't deserve to celebrate.

I couldn't get over the fact that my mistake had caused the Grizzlies to score. Yesterday I hadn't helped my team at all. Today I had actually hurt them.

I knew what Dad would say.
Every player has a bad game.
But this wasn't one bad game; it was two. If I had thought before that I was losing my soccer mojo, now I was sure of it. The thing that I loved the most just wasn't working anymore. Did that mean I wasn't cut out to play?

For the first time in my life, I thought about quitting soccer.

On Sunday night Mom surprised me and Maisie at supper.

“You girls have been behaving nicely since yesterday,” she said. “If you can both apologize to each other, I think we can restore your privileges.”

Privileges—meaning I could finally video chat with Kara again! Apologizing was not going to be a problem, especially since I wasn't feeling mad at Maisie anymore.

“Maisie, I really am sorry I told you to shut up,” I said. “I was having a really bad day, and I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.”

“And I'm sorry too,” Maisie said.

We both looked expectantly at my mom.

“Fine,” she said. “Your privileges are restored.”

“Yay! TV!” Maisie cheered, and I hurried to finish my broccoli and brown rice. I couldn't wait to talk with Kara! I hadn't talked to her since Friday night, and I had so
much to tell her—my two bad games, and the disastrous dentist trip.

Kara's eyes got wide when I finished my story.

“You are
not
thinking of quitting soccer!” she said. “You can't! It's your life!”

“But what if I'm not meant to play?” I asked. “I mean, just because you love something doesn't mean you're going to be good at it.”

“But you
are
good at it,” Kara insisted.

I sighed. “I haven't been good at anything since the earthquake.”

Kara's blue eyes got so wide, I thought they might pop out of her head. “Devin, maybe you've been cursed by the earthquake!”

I laughed. “Kara, how can an earthquake curse you?”

She shrugged. “I don't know, but it's when all your bad luck started,” she said. She ducked her head as she began typing on her keyboard. “You need good luck instead of bad. Let's see if there is something on the Internet that will help.”

Her eyes began skimming over her screen, looking at the search results. “This one looks good! Now repeat after me, ‘Bad luck, bad luck, you're a schmuck, time to go in the garbage truck. Sun above and land below, time to make the good luck flow!' ”

I repeated the words after her, laughing the whole time. “Come on!” I cried. “This can't be real. Somebody just put this on the Internet so people would make fools of themselves.”

“Oh wait!” she suddenly cried. “You're doing it wrong. You have to hop three times in a clockwise circle on one foot while you're saying it. Like this!”

Kara stood up and demonstrated. I could see only the middle of her body as she hopped around. She looked ridiculous! Then she looked back into the camera.