Shane's Fall (The Escort Series Book 2) (6 page)

“My brother, Michael,” he said from behind her. She remembered her brother telling her about Michael’s death when she was younger and her heart had broken for Shane.

“How old was he in this?” she asked.

“Eighteen – that’s his senior picture. Can I get you something to drink?”

“Water please,” she said absent-mindedly as her nerves started to pick up again. He returned a moment later with the water and a beer for himself.

She turned to face him and saw that he was holding the water out to her. He looked so young and so old at the same time. She wondered what had done that to him. As a girl, she hadn’t been attuned enough to recognize how life could beat you down so she couldn’t be sure if he had always been like this, alive but not living; in the present but not in the moment. He looked how she felt – broken and lost.

Before she could second guess herself, she moved passed his outstretched arm, ignored the water and pulled his head down so she could seal her mouth over his. He was caught off guard for a second and stiffened against her, but then he was kissing her back, his lips opening against hers and drawing her tongue into his mouth. Both his hands were full, so he ended up resting the two different bottles against her sides as he leaned into her and took over the kiss.

His mouth was hard, ruthless as it plundered hers and she felt her body responding instantly. Everything this man did to her set her on fire. When she drew back just a little to try and draw in some much needed oxygen, he was following her, refusing to let her go. She felt his arms close around her back, the bottles thumping together and then coming to rest against her lower back as he claimed her mouth again. Fear lanced through her at the feel of his arms tightening like steel bands, but she forced it away and focused on him instead. His lips were both hard and soft at the same time and his tongue worshipped every part of her mouth. She could hear his harsh breathing and felt the muscles in his neck tighten and she realized that he was just as affected as she was. He finally released her mouth and then dropped his arms, seemingly confused by how they’d ended up around her in the first place.

“Sorry, I just had to do that in case…” she mumbled as her body howled at the loss of his warmth.

“In case what?”

She shrugged and took a few steps back so she wouldn’t be tempted to reach for him again.

“In case I backed out? Or is that what you were thinking of doing?” he asked, suddenly angry.

“I don’t want to be like the others. I don’t want to use-” she stopped quickly when he jerked away from her.

“Goddamn it Savannah!” he yelled as he spun around and went back to the kitchen. He slammed the two bottles down on the counter and then gripped the edges of the black granite hard. She’d never seen him this angry before and fear skittered up her spine. She didn’t even realize she was edging towards the door until he softly said, “Please don’t go.” If he’d yelled it, she would have been out of there in a heartbeat, but he’d said it so quietly, so desperately that she swore she could actually feel the words on her skin the same as a caress. She remained perfectly still and watched while he took several deep breaths to get himself under control.

“Did you ever think I might need this?” he asked, his eyes still on the bottles sitting on the counter in front of him. “Did you ever think that maybe I was using you?”

“But you’re not,” she responded, completely confused. “I was the one that lied…”

“I don’t care about how you got me to that hotel room. I’m glad you chose me.” That shut her up. He stood up and walked towards her, no longer angry, just quiet…eerily so. “Why does it have to be that word? Using? Why can’t it be needing? You needed me. That’s it. You. Needed. Me.” He stopped in front of her, but didn’t touch her.

“You needed me to hear you a long time ago and I didn’t and I’m going to regret that forever.” She started shaking her head, but he stopped her by framing her cheek with his hand and holding her still. Her breath hitched when he ran his thumb over her lips. “Those women – they don’t need me – they’d take whatever guy walked through their door. That’s why they pay for it – so that it
isn’t
about needing. That’s not what this is; that’s not who you are.”

He dropped his hand and suddenly moved passed her and opened his apartment door. “I can’t do this if you only see me the way those women do. I don’t want to be just any guy to you. I can’t give you love or be your happily ever after, but I’m not going to play the whore for you like I do all the other women in my life, so if that’s what you want then yeah, you should go.”

Tears burned in her eyes as she walked up to him and then carefully pushed the door closed.

“Shane,” she began but he cut her off.

“And Savannah, I swear to God, if I hear you tell me you’re sorry one more time, I’m going to fucking lose it.”

“You will never just be ‘any guy’ to me. I want you – the you that no one else gets to see. The you that’s kind and loyal and strong-” She couldn’t finish her thought because his mouth was on hers again. This kiss was softer, searching. And when his arms closed around her this time, the only fear she felt was knowing that she wouldn’t be able to keep her promise to not to fall in love with him because she was already more than halfway there.

Chapter 7

Shane had kissed her to prevent her from saying anything else to describe him because all the words she used were built on a lie. Like everyone else in his life, she’d believed in the façade he had created. She couldn’t know that for every time she thought he was strong, he’d been weak a dozen times more. Yes, he was loyal to his friends, but his dead brother was proof that he was capable of failing even those he was closest to.

He didn’t want her to know any of that because then she wouldn’t look at him the way she did – she wouldn’t soften and melt under him every time he kissed her; she wouldn’t get that bright color in her cheeks whenever he looked at her. Her eyes wouldn’t flare up with desire around him - they’d burn him with condemnation.

He took another sip of her lips and then drew back and noticed his arms were around her once again. Damn, how did she manage to sap whatever control he had? He was glad she hadn’t freaked out at his hold, but he was going to have to come up with a game plan for how to keep his desire under wraps if and when they ever got passed the kissing stage.

“Are you hungry? I was thinking we could order some Chinese and watch a movie.” She was flushed from his kiss and a little dazed, but she nodded so he took her hand and led her to the couch. He retrieved their drinks from the kitchen and then dropped down next to her. He made sure their thighs were lined up and she was pressed against him. She shifted a little bit so she could draw her legs up under her, but didn’t try to move away from him. He pulled up the menu for the Chinese place on his phone so she could pick what she wanted and then got a movie started.

***

“Tell me about your brother.”

Shane heard and felt her voice at the same time. At some point after they’d eaten and well into the movie, she had fallen asleep and had ended up curled against him, her head on his shoulder. Her lips were just inches from his neck and he felt her soft breath caress him. Her hand had come to rest on his chest. The movie had ended a good twenty minutes earlier, but he’d been reluctant to wake her so he had just sat there and enjoyed how her warm body fit perfectly against his. He told himself that the position they were in was too comfortable and would send out all the wrong signals, but he couldn’t force himself to change it, so at some point he had let his arm curl around her, the tips of his fingers playing with her sleek hair.

“What do you want to know?” he responded.

“Were you guys close as kids?”

“Very. Gabe too – he lived down the street from us and he and Michael were in the same class. They let me hang out with them even though they were three years older.”

“What kinds of things did you guys do?”

Shane felt her fingers start to drum against his chest softly and he was suddenly glad he was wearing jeans because his dick started to harden.

“Typical boy stuff – sports, video games; our dad took us out on his boat fishing. Our big thing was basketball though. We met every Saturday morning like clockwork to play – even after Gabe moved to a different neighborhood, he figured out how to use the bus to get back to our house to play. We kept doing it up until Michael died. Logan joined in too after he met Michael and Gabe in school.” Her fingers stopped their movement for a second at her brother’s name, but then she seemed to relax further into him and her fingers started repeating a small, circular motion in the middle of his chest.

“How did your brother die?” she asked carefully.

It was an emotional line that he knew he shouldn’t cross, but he couldn’t stop himself from answering.

“He killed himself.”

She let out a gasp and then lifted her eyes from where they’d been watching her fingers draw on him.

“Shane,” she began but he gently covered her lips with one of his fingers from his free hand. He didn’t want to hear her apology because everyone did that as soon as he told them his brother was dead. As if their apology could somehow make up for the agony and guilt he felt every time he thought of his big brother, his hero. He should have glossed over the truth with her like he usually did with everyone else and just say he overdosed, but for some reason the lies wouldn’t fall out of his mouth as seamlessly when he was around her. She seemed to get his message about the unspoken apology because she nodded slightly and then dropped her head back down on his chest.

“He was a drug addict – heroin mostly, but he’d do whatever he could get his hands on.” He felt her stiffen against him but she didn’t look at him or try to speak. “It started when he was sixteen – pot mostly, then some cocaine here and there. By the time he graduated from high school, he was a full blown addict.”

“Did your parents know?”

He started to shake his head and then realized she wouldn’t be able to see it so he said, “No – he was able to keep his grades up and was good about keeping up with appearances and that was all they cared about.”

“But you knew,” she observed.

“Not at first, but then I started to figure it out because he started acting different – more agitated and paranoid.”

“Did Gabe or Logan know?”

“I think Logan may have suspected something towards the end, but Gabe had no idea – Michael had pulled back from Gabe a lot and Gabe was so busy with dealing with his mom’s bullshit that he didn’t see what was happening.”

“She’s an addict too, right?” Savannah asked.

“Yeah.” He realized the word probably came out more sharply than he had intended, but his body was starting to burn from Savannah’s innocent caresses. The pressure of her fingers had increased somewhat and his body was demanding more.

“Why did he do it?” she asked quietly, clearly unaware of the effect she was having on him.

“The drugs or the suicide?” he asked.

“Both I guess.”

“It started off the same way it does for most; he fell into the wrong crowd and got caught up in all of it. But he kept doing it because of the pressure he was under from our parents. They had his life all planned out – school, career, marriage.”

“And he didn’t want the same things,” she stated.

“He wasn’t sure what he wanted in terms of career and school. But he knew that the one thing he did want, they would never be okay with.”

She was silent for a long time before saying, “He was gay, wasn’t he?”

“Yeah, he was. He tried to tell our parents when he was seventeen or so. He was trying to feel them out I guess. Anyway, it didn’t go well and that’s when his drug use blew up. I told him I didn’t care if he was gay – he was still my big brother – but I guess it wasn’t enough. I’d find him sometimes, when he was high. He even blurted out to me once that he was in love with Gabe.”

She inhaled sharply, but kept quiet. He felt her hand drift to his side as if she was trying to draw him closer to her. He needed to finish this because it was getting way too intense.

“He knew Gabe was straight so he never told him. He finally told my parents just after he started his second semester, but they flipped out and disowned him on the spot. Told him they would take everything away. He wouldn’t even be allowed to see me anymore.” He felt her fingers bite into his sides but he pushed on.

“My father took away my phone and laptop so I couldn’t even reach out to Michael to tell him it wasn’t true – that I’d always be there. He went back to his dorm and shot himself full of enough shit to take down a horse. Didn’t even get it all in before it killed him.”

Shane took a deep breath and then realized that in his growing distress, he had actually fisted his hand against Savannah’s back, some of her hair still in his hand. He instantly relaxed his hand and breathed a sigh of relief when he realized she hadn’t noticed.

“Everyone thought it was just an accidental overdose, but he emailed me a suicide note. I showed it to my parents, but they convinced me it would be better for Michael’s memory if I didn’t tell anyone so I didn’t.”

She didn’t say anything right away but kept holding on to him. He felt her gaze come up to meet his. “Thank you for telling me about him. I wish I could have met him.” He nodded but didn’t trust himself to respond. She lay there for a few more moments, her hand back to petting his chest, but this time there was no pattern to her stroking and her hand start drifting down to his abdomen. He heard her breathing increase and felt lust tear through him as he realized she had just started to recognize her own desire.

“Shane?” she said slowly and he both dreaded and needed her next words. “Can I kiss you?”

“Yes,” he managed to croak. Instead of just lifting her head so he could take her lips, he watched her shift so she was kneeling next to him. Her hand had stopped exploring his chest and moved up next to his head so it could rest on the back of the couch. He didn’t realize what she was doing until she actually did it – she moved her left leg over him and in one swift, graceful motion she was straddling him. He forced his hands to remain on the couch but when he felt the first touch of her lips against his, he clenched his fists into the cushions.

There was no hesitation on her part as she sought entry into his mouth. He opened on a groan and then felt her delicate hands come to rest on each side of his face as if to keep him steady for her assault on his mouth. Her tongue swept in and explored every surface of his mouth and then she was caressing his tongue, urging it to join hers. His cock became painful as felt her settle further into his lap, heat radiating from her core. She slanted her mouth further over his so she get at more of him and then her hips started rocking back and forth.

“Will you kiss me back?” she whispered as she separated their mouths, her breathing harsh. He didn’t answer, just closed the distance between their lips and crushed his mouth down on hers. Her fingers still gripped his jaw, but then her arms drifted around his neck to support herself as he thrust into her mouth, his tongue doing what his cock so badly wanted to do. Her mouth was hot and lush, her tongue strong as it met his plunging strokes. When she finally pulled her mouth back to try and catch her breath, he dropped his lips to the smooth column of her throat and made his way to the sensitive shell of her ear. He forced his hands to stay at his sides as he traced the rim of her ear, and then let his tongue dip inside for a moment. She shuttered and let out a whimper as the pace of her rocking grew more frantic.

The pressure in his pants was too much, so he leaned back against the couch and sucked in several deep breaths. “I need you to take me out,” he said harshly as he raised his arms up and held them crosswise over his face. He knew if he actually saw her hand anywhere near his dick, he’d completely lose it. Luckily, she seemed to understand his predicament and she lifted up enough so that she could reach the button and zipper of his pants. She fumbled awkwardly for several torturous moments, but then finally had his pants and underwear loose enough that his cock could spring free. His relief was short-lived because he felt her hand close over his hot length. Her thumb traced the head and swirled the pre-come that had already started to collect at the tip around.

Dropping his arms along the top of the couch, he watched as her body instinctively began to take over. Her hand carefully pulled his hardness against her pelvis as her hips slid back and forth over his lap. She brought one of her hands down on his shoulders so she could support herself as she angled her body so that her clit bumped against the hardness of his cock on every up stroke. She was still fully clothed, but the slacks she wore were thin enough that she could clearly feel it every time she rubbed against him and as her movements became jerkier, he realized she was close. Her fingers gripped him hard on the shoulder but the hand around his cock was careful as it began stroking up and down to match the motion of her body. Her eyes were closed as she concentrated on the rhythm and he forced himself to remain perfectly still as he watched her.

He was completely devastated by how beautiful she was like this, her head thrown back, her small, perfect breasts jutting out, her hair cascading down around her like a dark waterfall. Even through the dual layers of her shirt and bra, he could see that her nipples were hard and he imagined sucking on them.

“Shane, I need you to touch me,” she managed to whisper as she released his cock long enough to reach for his arm. She pulled his hand down to where their bodies met and pressed him against, her but then returned her hand to his cock so she could continue stroking him. He felt the moisture through her slacks and underwear, but knew he needed to be closer, so he slipped his hand into her pants, grateful that they were loose enough that he wouldn’t need to work with the button or zipper. He found her clit easily and began stroking it hard to match what she was doing to him. She cried out and then opened her eyes so that she could look at him. He could tell that whatever she was feeling was overwhelming in its newness to her. She began to ride him harder and faster, her grip on his cock tighter as she used more of the pre-come now dripping steadily out of the head to make the glide easier.

“Shane,” she cried out in confusion along with a little bit of fear.

“It’s okay, sweetheart, you can let go. I’m here,” he whispered and then she was coming apart. He shifted his hand so that he could continue to stroke her clit with his thumb, but also allow his fingers to cup her opening. As he felt the moisture bathe his hand, he felt his own release come out of nowhere and he gripped her reflexively in his palm as semen shot out of his dick and spurted all over his shirt and her hand. His guttural shout of pleasure in the quiet apartment sounded harsh, even to his own ears.