Shared by Her Soldiers (7 page)

“What?” she asked again, her voice somewhere between a gasp and a laugh. “But I’m here because
I’ve
been ordered to apologize.”

“I know,” she said simply with a grin. “Believe me, it was written all over your watchdog’s face.”

“Jarrod? Are you serious? I can’t read him for the life of me.”

Candice shrugged a shoulder. “I’ve had a lot of experience. I’m not as young as I look, you know.”

At that, Kaitlyn snorted with laughter. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry, it’s just…”

“I know,” the other woman groaned. “We get it all the time. Do you know, on our last base a woman actually had the gall to ask me if I had a ‘daddy complex’? The nerve!”

“You’re kidding!” she gasped, scandalized and amused all at the same time. If Candice’s expression was anything to go by, she’d felt the same. “So… do you?”

Candice shook her head, giggling too hard to answer. When it settled down, she reached over and patted Kaitlyn’s hand. “You and I, we’re going to get along just fine.”

* * *

Kaitlyn had to search for a few minutes to find her husband. Finally, she located Sean in the study. He had a lamp on and was bent over a book, studying it intently. So much so, in fact, that he didn’t even look up as she came in and closed the door softly behind her.

She cleared her throat and smiled when he looked up. “So? What do you think?”

“What do I think of what?” he asked, his brow furrowing as though he wasn’t sure what she was doing standing in front of him.

“My hair,” she said, flipping a lock of what had been blah brown over her shoulder. The stylist had cut and layered it, in addition putting warm cinnamon highlights in it. When she’d looked in the mirror when the stylist was finished, she’d gasped in surprise. Her hair seemed vibrant and full of life instead of just stuff sprouting out of her head. Somehow, it seemed to bring out the green in her eyes and put color in her cheeks all at once. Candice’s stylist, Geena, was in fact, a miracle worker. She actually felt beautiful, for a change. And as much as she’d enjoyed Candice’s company, when she was finished the only thing she could think of was getting back to Sean to show him.

But by the way he was looking at her, she might as well have grown an extra head. Not only did he not look impressed, if the look on his face was anything to go by, he was upset.

“You don’t like it?” she asked, hating herself for the doubt she heard in her voice.

“No,” he said flatly. “I don’t.”

“Oh.” She swallowed hard, past the pang of hurt his words had caused. “I’m sorry. I thought…”

“I don’t know what you were thinking, honestly.” He slammed the book he’d been reading down on his desk, making her jump. “You were told to go apologize to the general’s wife. That was it. Nobody said anything about you ruining your hair.”

Kaitlyn winced, but even as she opened her mouth to rebut his charges, she remembered what Candice had said: it gets better. He needs time. He doesn’t mean it. “I’m sorry you don’t like it.”

“Change it back.”

She took a deep breath, forcing herself to think about what she was going to say, for a change. “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. I paid good money for this cut and it will go back on its own. Maybe by then you’ll even like it.”

“You paid
money
for that?” he asked, his expression agog. “Why would you do that? Why would someone charge you money just to ruin your hair?”

She bit her lip, hard, to keep from picking up the round paperweight on his desk and launching it at his head. Could he
be
any more insensitive?

“How much?”

“How much what?”

“How
much
did you waste on your hair?”

“You know what, maybe we should talk about this another time.” She whirled on her heel to leave.

“I asked you a question, Kaitlyn. How much money did you spend?”

She stiffened at his accusatory tone, hating the tears that rose to her eyes. He was adapting. He was getting used to life stateside again. She knew that; what she hadn’t known was how much it would hurt. “One fifty.”

“A hundred and fifty
dollars
?” he asked in obvious disbelief.

Well, it wasn’t pesos
, she thought sarcastically. “Yes, sir.” Without waiting to see what he would say—she swore she could feel the hurricane building up right behind her—she opened the door and saw herself out.

Just then, her cell vibrated in her pocket. Pulling it out, she saw she had a text from Candice.

Well?? What’d he say?

She stared at the words for a long minute, contemplating what to do. Should she lie? Say he was asleep? Tell her that
she
loved the cut? In the end, she put the phone back in her pocket without responding, feeling that if anyone would understand, it would be another Army wife.

* * *

“Mmm, smells good.”

Kaitlyn froze, the spoon she’d been stirring with stilled in midair as she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist. Sean nuzzled her neck and it took everything she had in her not to elbow him in the side.

“I’ve missed you.”

“You sure about that?” she muttered caustically.

“What’s that?”

“Nothing. Excuse me, I need to get by.”

When Sean dropped his arms, she stepped aside and began pulling plates from the cabinet. It almost felt strange. She’d been eating off paper plates since he’d left, to the point where she was surprised she remembered which cabinet her china was in. She’d become accustomed to eating solo in front of the TV, except for the rare occasions that Jarrod joined her for a bite.

“Could you set the table?” she asked, partly to give him something to do and partly so he would stay out of her way.

“Sure.” He gamely took the plates from her and waited for the silverware. She thrust it at him, happy to see him head for the table, giving her some breathing room.

She should have been happy that he suddenly felt so handsy. It was the first time he’d touched her in an intimate way since he’d stepped off the plane, and she should have been thrilled. But she was still hurt from their conversation not even two hours ago, and while she’d showed a good amount of self-control during it, the hurt she’d felt at the time had festered and transformed into an impressive amount of anger.

Who was
he
to be so prickly and judgmental about a
haircut
? Why should he think he even got a say? Did he give her a say about his deployment? Or him extending his time overseas, for that matter? No, he had not. He hadn’t even thought to consult her, but she was supposed to change her
hair
because he said so? Maybe every other Army wife was that vested, maybe she was the odd duck, but in that case she’d rather swim in the pond all by herself.

She practically slammed the bowl of mashed potatoes on the table. Sean looked up, startled, but she didn’t care. In fact, she was kind of glad, in a mean sort of way. When the gravy boat received the same treatment, some of the brown liquid sloshed over the side and onto the previously pristine white tablecloth. Kaitlyn was too mad to care.

“Hey,” Sean started to say, but she turned on her heel and went back into the kitchen.

When she returned carrying the roast platter, he was waiting. She tried to sidestep him, but he moved forward, taking the platter from her. She glared at him, not that he seemed to care.

“Hey,” he tried again. “Look, I really
am
sorry, babe. I never should have gotten on you like that.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” she agreed archly.

“You’re right. Honestly, I don’t know what got into me. Just… I thought you knew I liked your hair the way it was.”

“You
said
—”

“I know what I said. But then when you came home, and… I thought maybe if I’d told you how beautiful your hair was before, then you wouldn’t have felt the need to change it.”

His words tugged at her heartstrings. There was no denying that he could make a good apology, when he was so inclined, but she wasn’t ready to forgive him yet. Let him stew for a while, let him grovel. He’d put her through a lot in the last forty hours, and he deserved to be unsure about
her
for a little while.

“I didn’t change my hair for you,” she told him, her gaze withering. “I changed it because
I
wanted to. Don’t I get to do something for myself for a change?” He started to answer, but she plunged ahead. “It would have been nice if you’d been supportive, but that ship has sailed. Butter?”

“Excuse me?”

“Would you like me to get the butter?” she inquired, her voice frosty.

“Sure.” When his shoulders slumped, she knew he was feeling defeated. Well,
good
.

At least, it should have been. She told herself she should have felt a surge of victory, but all she felt was hollow. Maybe she should have accepted his apology to begin with and saved herself some trouble. All she knew for sure was that she felt just as hopeless as her husband had sounded moments ago. She wished she knew how to stop this circle they kept going in and make things more normal. But then, that was the problem, wasn’t it? What
was
normal for the two of them? All she knew was, she didn’t have a clue.

When she walked out with the butter, she saw that Sean had taken his seat at the head of the table. Seeing him sitting there like no time had passed gave her pause. Who, she found herself wondering, was this man she’d married? Even with him right in front of her, she could scarcely remember.

She walked to the head of the table and put the butter dish within his reach. She turned to take her own seat, but was stopped when his hand closed around her wrist.

“You have to stop this.”

She bristled under his words. “
I
have to?”

“We. I meant we. We need to figure this thing out.”

“What
thing
would that be, exactly?”

“Please don’t keep making this so hard, Kaitlyn. You know what I mean. I don’t know why things are so off between us, but I want to fix it.”

She knew this was her chance. She needed to tell him that he was right, that she felt the same way. But when she opened her mouth, those weren’t the words that came out. “You broke it, so you fix it on your own.” She tried to yank her wrist away, but his fingers tightened around it.

“
I
broke it?” he echoed incredulously. Next thing she knew, he was pulling her around to face him. “You know, I’m really sorry you feel that way, honey. I thought I was out there, risking my life to protect your rights and freedom. I didn’t know all I was doing was breaking us.”

“I wish you’d stop using that,” she rolled her eyes. “Everyone knows you were at war, so stop bringing it up.”

“Young lady—”

“No!” Kaitlyn snarled, yanking harder to try to free herself from his grasp. “Don’t you ‘young lady’ me! You don’t have the right!”

Sean pushed back his chair and leapt to his feet so quickly that Kaitlyn felt her heart propel itself into her rapidly tightening throat. “I’m sorry?” he asked, the soft tone he used belied by his clenching jaw and flaring nostrils. “If I don’t have the right, who does?”

“You tell me!” she threw back, trying to act like she wasn’t very nervous about where this conversation was headed. “You’re the one who sent your watchdog after me!”

His brow furrowed. “My what?”

Oops. That was the word Candice had used.

“You mean Jarrod? What does he have to do with any of this?”

“Nothing! Forget I mentioned it.”

Sean’s eyes narrowed as he appraised her. “But you did mention it, so you must have meant something by it. What is it, do you think I can’t spank you anymore? Is that it?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I—”

“No, I think that’s exactly what you’re saying. Well, I’d say this little temper tantrum certainly qualifies you for a trip over my lap, so no time like the present.”

“Sean!” she gasped, yanking to free her wrist with all her might. “No!”

“Yes,” he countered, a bit of steel slipping inside his voice.

“I won’t let you!”

His eyes narrowed down to slits. “You won’t
let
me, Kaitlyn? We made an agreement about our marriage, and you agreed to take your spankings when you’d earned them. Today is definitely one of those times.”

“If you hit me, I swear, I’ll—”

“Hit you?” His brow furrowed and he released her wrist of his own accord. “When have I ever
hit
you?”

“You know what I mean,” she snapped, glaring as she massaged her wrist. The damn thing wasn’t even red, much to her annoyance.

“I don’t think I do. In fact, I’m starting to wonder what I know about you at all.”

“Well, that makes two of us.”

“What’s gotten into you, Kaitlyn?”

“What’s gotten into
me
? You’re the one who’s come home acting like this is the last place you want to be.”

“No, that’s not true. It’s just—”

“And then,” she continued, ignoring him, “every three seconds you’re bringing up the fact that
you
were at war, while I was what? Stateside, catching up on Netflix and eating bonbons?”

“I never said that.”

“No, you didn’t. You didn’t say it, but you sure as hell act like it’s what you think.” His eyes widened and she knew she should apologize—if there was one thing Sean would not tolerate, it was being cursed at. But she was on a roll, so she figured she’d just keep going. It was clear how this was going to end, so she might as well tell him what she thought. She might not get the chance again. “
Of course
you think I’ve been having a grand old time here, being alone day after day.”

“If you didn’t want to be alone, maybe you shouldn’t have isolated yourself.”

She rolled her eyes at him once more, for good measure. If she was already going to get her ass spanked, might as well make it worth it. “I guess it never occurred to you to think about what
I
might have been going through.”