SharingGianna (8 page)

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Belinda sat on the bench, her sobs racking her body. Arms
wrapped around her and she leaned into her husband’s embrace. After all their
years together, she would know his touch anywhere.

“Salvatore, what have I done? What have I done?” she wailed,
slipping back into her native Italian.

“Our Gianna. Our poor little Gianna,” Salvatore said.

She felt his shoulders shake and knew he was crying harder
than she was. Salvatore had always been the heart of the family. He put on a
gruff front but the kids all knew he had a marshmallow for a heart. Belinda had
been the one to discipline, to dole out punishment when it was required. And
she had made a huge mistake. The worst kind of mistake that a mother could
make.

She heard her daughter’s word again.
“It’s too late for
your concern, Mamma. The girl needed it. The woman learned to survive without
it.”

She would hear them until the day she died. Ten years she
had lost with her daughter all because of a lie. And she’d been too righteous
to listen when her daughter needed her the most. How was she ever going to make
it right? How could she even try?

Gabe drove them around for hours before heading back to the
hotel. Tony just held her close. They didn’t speak, both of them giving her the
silence she needed. It was comfortable silence, filled with compassion and
understanding. It was exactly what she needed. She thought they probably had
questions but they weren’t asking them right now and she was very grateful.

“We’re almost there,” Gabe said softly as he turned a
corner.

“I know.” She sat up. The tears had dried on her cheeks and
now she just felt a heavy sadness.

She’d finally told her mom what she’d wanted to for so long.
She’d hoped to see hurt on her mother’s face and she hadn’t been disappointed.
Her mother had been hurt. She’d seen the sorrow, the regret flash through her
mother’s eyes. And Gianna had hardened her heart and walked away.

But now. Now it hurt. She should feel justified. She should
feel validated. But she didn’t. She just felt lost and, God help her, ashamed
of her behavior. Perhaps if she hadn’t let ten years of anger and hurt build up
inside her, it would be different. What happened so long ago wasn’t her fault.
But her behavior today was. And she’d hurt her mother for no other reason than
the fact that she could.

“Do you know where my parents live?”

“Yeah, we’ve been to a few gatherings there with Dante.
Why?” Gabe turned a quick glance her way as he asked before focusing once more
on the road.

“I need to go there. I… I have something to do.”

“Gianna, don’t you think you’ve been through enough today?”
Tony pulled her close again as he spoke.

“I’ve been through enough to last a lifetime. But that’s no
excuse for what I did today.” She glanced at him and she wondered if he could
see the remorse in her eyes. “Did you see her face? My mother? I destroyed her
today.”

“It sounds like she had it coming.” Tony’s anger surprised
her. She was sleeping with him but she hadn’t expected him to be so mad on her
behalf.

“No, she didn’t. She was wrong. But so was I. I let things
go on the way they were because I was ashamed. I felt guilty. I can’t lay that
at her door.”

“Your mom believed the worst of you and wouldn’t give you a
chance to tell her the truth. I’d say that tells its own story.” Gabe sounded
just as angry as Tony.

“I thought about getting an abortion. When Michael and his
mom mentioned it. They made it sound like the only clear choice, like I should
jump at the opportunity. Michael didn’t want our baby. I was young and had my
whole life ahead of me. Did I really want a baby weighing me down?”

“Gianna, you were young. If I ever run into this Michael, I
might seriously go to jail for murder.” Tony’s jaw was rigid as he spoke.

“His mom’s even worse. What kind of woman does that?” Gabe
shook his head.

“I should have gone to my mom then. But I was ashamed. I was
always doing and saying things to drive my mother crazy. I was a wild child,
always stirring up trouble and not caring about the consequences. And when she
kicked me out, I could have stayed and argued. I could have forced her to
listen. But I didn’t. Because I felt like it was the least I deserved. I didn’t
deserve her love, my family’s love. I didn’t deserve anything.”

“Gianna, don’t.” Tony put his finger to her lips, halting
her words. “You were a girl. You were young and impulsive. You’re not the only
teenager who ever found herself pregnant. But to go through all that you went
through alone. I can’t fathom that. No one deserves that.”

“That was my choice. I could have given them my name at any
time and my family would have been called.”

“How exactly did that work?” Gabe asked. “Did you use a fake
name? I’m not sure how you received treatment without parental consent?”

“I was bleeding out by the time I got there. The baby
started growing in my fallopian tube. I didn’t know, didn’t realize that the
pain I was feeling wasn’t normal. I passed out at some point and when I woke up
the procedure was over. The baby was gone and I was told what happened. I
didn’t have any ID on me, so they had no one to contact. When the doctor left,
I got dressed and snuck out before the nurse could come back. I pretended like
I’d been visiting someone else and just walked out. I sent them a donation when
I started modeling. I always felt bad for walking out. They saved my life that
day.”

“I’m glad they did.” Tony squeezed her hand.

“Me too.” Gabe added, giving her other hand a squeeze.

“All this time I’ve been angry with my mother. So angry with
her. It’s just dawning on me that it was never about her. It was always about
me and my guilt. I punished us both by leaving all those years ago. I robbed us
both of ten years.” She shook her head as Tony started to interrupt. “No. It’s
true. My mom isn’t the evil tyrant I tried to make her out to be. It was easier
for me to feel like she was. I could justify staying away then. It wasn’t my
fault then. And it’s not entirely my fault. But it’s not hers either. And I
think we’ve both suffered enough. My mother is torn up with Stephano in the
hospital. She doesn’t deserve my baggage on top of that. I need to make this
right. I have to.”

“You are an amazing woman, Gianna Marquetti.” Gabe pulled
the truck to the curb and turned off the engine. “I’m so grateful that you’re a
part of my life.”

“I hope you continue to be one,” Tony added.

“I’d like that.” She smiled. “But first I have to do what I
should have done ten years ago. I have to talk to my mother. No anger. No
blame.”

“You want us to go with you?” Tony asked the question but he
seemed to expect the shake of her head. He opened the door and helped her out.
“We’ll wait for you here then.”

“No, go on back to the hotel. I’ll see you guys later.”

“Are you sure?” Gabe probed her gaze with his.

She wasn’t sure if he was asking if she was sure she wanted
to go alone or if she was sure about seeing them later. But the answer was the
same either way. “I’m sure. If I don’t have a ride later I’ll call you. I have
both of your numbers in my phone now.” She let her gaze slide back and forth
between them. “I promise. I’m okay.”

Gabe nodded. Tony pulled her in for a hug and brushed his
lips over the top of her head. “Whatever you need, Gianna. We’re here.”

“I know.”

He let her go and she walked down the sidewalk toward the
front door of her childhood home. Memories threatened to overwhelm her. The
good ones far outweighing that one bad day.

The door opened before she even reached the porch. Her
father stood there. He looked broken. Had she done that to him? Had her
poisonous words put the grief on his face?

“Stephano?” She voiced the question as soon as it filled her
mind. Had something happened when she left?

“He’s still sleeping. The doctors expect him to wake up any
time. When I left that friend of yours agreed to sit with him.”

She nodded her head. “Is Mamma here?”

“She’s resting.”

“I—”

“I love you, Gianna Nicollete Marquetti. Hearing your pain…”
His voice choked up and he had to take a breath before he could continue. “It
killed me. I want to hunt down that dirty bastard Michael and break a few
things on him myself. I love you, girl.”

Tears streamed down her face. “I love you too, Pops.”

She moved into his open arms. This was where she had found
comfort for every pain suffered in childhood. Right here in her father’s arms.

“Your mamma, she loves you too. What you said…”

“I’m so sorry. I was hurt and angry and… I don’t know. Can I
please talk to Mamma?”

“Let her in, Salvatore.” Her mother’s voice carried from
inside the house.

Gianna felt as if someone punched her in the stomach when
she walked in and saw her mother. Belinda’s face was haggard. Her eyes were red
and swollen from crying. Still her mother stood tall and proud. Marquetti
pride.

“You have more you need to say to me, Gianna.” Her mother
nodded. “Let’s go into the other room.”

She turned and walked away without looking back. Gianna
followed behind, taking her time and looking at the house she had left ten
years earlier. She saw that even after what had happened all that time ago, her
parents still had her picture on the wall. Very little had changed. There were
new pictures added. Angelo and his fiancée Cara. Isabella and Sampson. And even
one of Phoebe and Dante adorned the hallway table.

When she finally joined her mother in the living room,
Belinda was seated on the sofa. Her hands were clasped in her lap. Her spine
was straight and only her face showed the signs of an earlier crying jag. Here
was where the center of Gianna’s strength lay, in the example of her mother.
She rushed over and fell to her knees on the floor in front of where her mother
sat.

“I’m so sorry, Mamma.” She tried to keep talking but the
tears started up again and she pressed her lips together to hold back a fresh
wave of sobs. She should be cried out by now. She should have nothing left. But
it seemed to be endless today.

Her mother surprised her by sliding to her knees beside her
and gathering her close.

“No, Gianna. I am the one who bears fault here. I should
have listened. I should have made you sit and speak to me. Instead I pushed you
away and let you stay there. I am to blame.” She felt her mother’s tears on her
skin and cried even harder.

Had she really thought the little girl in her was long gone?
It seemed this was all it took to remind her of that child. She clung to her
mother, letting her mother’s words soothe wounds buried too long. It was
comforting, listening to her mother slip back and forth between English and
Italian as she always did when her emotions were high.

They stayed that way for a long time. Until both their tears
were dried and the smell of fresh hot coffee filled the air around them.

“Now this is what I like to see.” Her father’s voice carried
as he entered carrying two cups of steaming java. “Two of my favorite women
holding to each other.” He sat the cups down and Gianna saw the tears fill his
eyes.

“Stop the waterworks, old man,” her mother ordered him as
she used the couch to stand up. “I can see from here that coffee is the dark
sludge you drink. I’ll go get my own cup. Maybe a good, strong cup of tea.”

She walked out and Gianna stood and watched her.

“Your mother needs a minute to catch her breath.” He moved
over to sit on the sofa and patted the seat beside him. “We’ll just give her a
few minutes.”

Gianna sat next to him and snuggled in when he held his arms
wide to her. He wrapped her in a hug and squeezed her impossibly closer. “I’m
so glad you’re home. You need to stay. Be around your family. Dante finally
came home and now it’s time for you to do the same.” He didn’t give her time to
respond. “You’ve gone off and seen the world. You’ve made something of
yourself. And I’m proud of you. I always knew you would go far. Surely you can
take some time away. Make this your home and when you have to fly out for some
modeling thing, you can do it from here.” He leaned back and tilted her chin up
to look in her eyes. “We need you, Gianna. Your mamma and I… Well, we’re not
getting any younger.”

“Speak for yourself Salvatore.” Her mother spoke from the
doorway. “I’m still young and spry. Plenty strong for when the grandbabies
start coming.” Her mother’s face went white as she realized what she’d said.

“It’s okay, Mamma. I came to terms with the fact that I
won’t have children a long time ago.”

“Nonsense.” Her father swiped his hand through the air.
“There are plenty of children in the country who are in need of a good home and
good role models. Lots of older children who crave love and affection but get
overlooked. Who better to show them what is possible than my Gianna?”

Gianna laughed. She’d never really thought of adoption. But,
maybe, someday, further down the road, it would be something to think about.

“She’s not even married yet, Salvatore. Marriage, Gianna.
What we need to do is find you a good man.”

Gianna shook her head. Just like that the past was over.
They wouldn’t dwell on it. Most likely it would never be brought up again. It
really was that simple with her family.

“There’s that new guy at the firehouse.” Her father nodded.
“He’s a hard worker. Solid head on his shoulders. Volunteers at the youth
center with the boys.”

Gianna shook her head. “I’m seeing someone already.” And
where had those words come from? What was she going to say when they asked—

“Who is this man? Where is he from? Does he come from a
good, loving family?
Pops looked at her, his piercing gaze making her feel like a fish on a hook.

“Well, ummm, he’s a friend of Dante’s.”

Well, they were. How did she tell her mother and father that
she was sort of having a thing with two men? They were sleeping together. And
she’d shared more emotionally with them in the past few days than she had with
any man in the past ten years. It was happening way too fast and everything
could go wrong. But she wanted to see where it could go. She wanted to have
more than a fling. And she wanted it with both Tony and Gabe. She didn’t want
to choose. She wouldn’t.

“Do you mean Gabe or Tony?” her mother asked.

“Yes.” Gianna nodded.

“Well, that’s wonderful.” Her father looked really happy.
“Dante speaks highly of both of them.”

“Which one have you met and started seeing?”

Gianna had no idea how to answer her mother’s question. So
she went as close to the truth as she dared at the moment. She’d just found her
way back home. It was probably too soon to rock the boat again just yet.

“I haven’t decided yet. So I’ve been seeing both of them.”

“Gianna!” her mother exploded.

“Good to play the field.” Her father nodded and Gianna
almost choked. If he only knew just how she was playing that field.