Shark Out of Water (Grab Your Pole, #3) (57 page)

“Oh Camie,” Kate gasped in surprise, “That’s Tristan’s baby book…”

Kate’s information finally elicited a spark of life out of Camie. She pulled the book closer and while she looked at the pictures, one of which was of her and Tristan at a park, I looked at them along with their captions and descriptions over her shoulder. I looked up at Jeff in shock just as Camie did the same while she stammered, “Th—this…b—but this…this is
impossible
.”

“No, I promise you, it’s not. There’s also a home video of you two together at his birthday party the next day…I saw it this morning.”

“I—I don’t know w—what to do with this…I—I…” She said, being back to stuttering, which I totally couldn’t blame her for.

“He uh, he wants you to read the letter, Camie. Right now actually.”

She took the envelope in shaking hands and pulled out the letter, and as she started to read it, Kate and Melissa took the photo album to look it over for themselves. And yeah, what it said was probably meant for her eyes only (Hey! I just made another Bond reference without meaning to! God, I love that cool cat…), but being that I was standing right behind her and I’ve never been able to resist reading shit that’s right under my nose, I started reading over her shoulder. However, because he’d been statue-still for so long, I noticed when Pete moved infinitesimally closer to Jillian. I lifted my eyes to look at her and saw she was actually crying silent tears for her sister who was close to sobbing and whose shoulders were shaking as she struggled to read through her own tears. Had I been next to Jillian, I probably would’ve done what Pete did, which was pull out a little washcloth from Jillian’s purse that he was still holding and hand it to her, and then, slowly and carefully, he put his arm around her to comfort her. Jillian wiped at her eyes, then she turned her eyes up to Pete who gave her a quick wink before they both went back to watching Camie.

I went back to reading. Camie had moved onto the next page and my eyes were automatically drawn to the very end as the writing was in a different color ink. So I skipped to where the ink changed and felt my gut start to tingle when I read the following:

I do love you, you know I do, but this isn’t just about why or how much or how long I’ve loved you. I miss you more than what should be possible and I’ve been away from my heart for far too long already. Your heart is where mine lives, Camie, it’s where my home is and it’s the only place I’ve ever been safe and able to just breathe. I’m done hurting you but I want to keep breathing. I just can’t do that without you. I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe without you and I really miss feeling my heart beat inside yours when you hold me. I’m never more alive than when I’m in your arms and you’re in mine, and all I want is to hold onto you and never let you go again and I’m afraid I’m going to stop breathing for good once I tell you the truth. I’m still going to tell you, but try to understand that when I do, I’ll be desperately struggling for your trust and forgiveness because my life as I know it depends on both.

And like I said, it’s up to you. I’ll tell you whenever you’re ready and please believe it wasn’t something I’d planned, because I wanted you to have this night without me ruining it for you, and there’s no pressure, I won’t kidnap you or force you to face me tonight, but, if you’re ready, I’m here.

I’m here breathing the same air as you, hoping for one more chance and praying that I’m not breathing for the last time.

-Tristan

I looked at Camie who was holding a shaking hand over her mouth as she mumbled something like, “Can’t breathe,” to herself, and then I looked at Tristan who looked like he might’ve been doing the same. He was standing there with one arm wrapped around his own waist and the other hand clamped over his mouth. It was hard to see his eyes, but I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that they were shedding some of their own tears as he watched her read what I took to be a dying man’s last request before he faced his execution. Which my gut was saying loud and clear wasn’t gonna happen.

I grabbed Melissa’s hand and towing her over to where the DJ was set up, I hurriedly asked her, “‘I’ll Be There For You’ or ‘Far Away’?”

“What?!”

“Come on, which one? ‘I’ll Be There For You’ or ‘Far Away’?”

“I—I—
Friends
or
Shrek
?! What the hell are you talking about?”

“Oh my G— Melissa,
not
Far Far Aw—never mind, just tell me, Bon Jovi or Nickelback? Hurry up!”

“Nickelback, duh,” she answered and looked at me like I’d lost my mind as we got to the DJ.

“You sure? Which one would Tristan and Camie choose?”

“I don’t know what the hell is going on, but what part of Nickelback, duh are you not understanding? Seriously Brandon, when in doubt, you always go with Nickelback, and
you
should know that.”

Well shit, I
do
know that but the lyrics from the Bon Jovi song are applicable here too! I mean, “When you breathe, I want to be the air for you”? Come on.

Yeah, okay…the Nickelback lyrics “Just one chance, just one breath, just in case there’s just one left,” and, “Stop breathing if I don’t see you anymore,” fit even better. Plus, there’s the part of the chorus at the end that says, “Keep breathing…hold onto me and never let me go.” Actually, almost every single word of that song is applicable here. I don’t know what I was thinking.

Sexy’s right, when in doubt, you always go with Nickelback…

For the love of GOD, please read the letter! ~ Tristan

I felt my lips quirk when Jillian pulled the table cloth causing that cup of punch to splash onto Camie, and I found myself giving a little nod to the cosmos and then to Brandon as well when he stepped in front of her so she couldn’t see me as she looked around. But then things got confusing. I was watching and trying to understand the confusion, anger and shock I was seeing on the faces of my friends. All of their faces aside from Pete’s that is, and I really wished he would just turn around so I could try to read him. We’re close. We’re really close to being fully synched and it almost looked like he was purposely trying to avoid turning this direction, which
really
started to freak me out. I couldn’t help but think that he didn’t want me to know about whatever was happening over at that table, and the only thing I could think of that he wouldn’t want me to know would involve something that Evil had done to Camie. Because I swear to God, I’ll fucking peel that guy’s skin from his body with my bare hands, make beef jerky out of it over an open fire and then feed it to him until he suffocates on his own flesh if he’s done anything to her and Pete knows it.

I was starting to shake with anger even though I had no idea if there was anything goin’ on to actually justify it, and then I found myself about to take a step over there so I stopped and tried to take a deep breath.

Kate looked at Jeff and Camie, and then she said something while looking almost aghast. Then Jeff took something silver off the table that I think Jillian had slid over to him before bending down to maybe whisper in Evil’s ear. I couldn’t take it anymore. But rather than screw myself by going over there, I sent Jeff a text instead.

Me:
wtf is going on? i’m really starting to lose it & i will if she doesn’t read that fucking letter SOON. like NOW.

I saw Pete throw something that looked like a guy’s wallet and a credit card or maybe a hotel room key on the table, and then I watched Jeff read my text. He didn’t look over at me or even hand Camie the book and letter, but instead, keeping one hand on Evil’s shoulder, he just pointed to both and said something to her. She didn’t move. In fact, it didn’t look like she’d even heard him. I was going crazy and thought for a second maybe she
had
heard him but just didn’t wanna have anything to do with me and what I might have to say anymore, but then Brandon moved the book over to her and opened it up to where I’d left the marker. Then she finally pulled it to her and started to look at it.

I watched her face register what my baby book documented about us, and I saw her expression go from being blank to confusion and then to shock as she looked at Jeff. Then she picked up the letter and that’s when I started holding my breath. I don’t know what I expected to feel watching her read it, but when she started shaking and crying, I covered my mouth and held onto myself to keep from doing the same thing. I couldn’t tell what her crying meant, but she looked almost tortured. It was excruciating like nothing I’ve ever felt and it was breaking my heart all over again. I knew this was a bad idea. I’d just turned to leave when one of my all-time favorite ballads started to play and I heard Brandon’s voice all throughout the ballroom say, “It’s for you guys, just…keep breathing.” I stuttered to a stop and turned back around with my eyes closed, afraid of what I might or might not see in Camie’s face.

I peeled my eyes open, but looked to the ceiling first. Then, taking a tight, shallow breath that was meant to be deep, I looked at her and for the first time tonight, I met her eyes. I had a hard time reading what hers were saying though as mine were filled with apology and tears. I started to move towards her, but when she got up and slowly began walking over to me, my legs started to shake and I had to put my hand over my mouth and hold myself again so I wouldn’t cry out and fall to the floor on my knees.

I probably would’ve gone down but just as my knees started to buckle, Camie reached me and threw herself into my arms, sobbing the words, “I love you, you’re safe and you’re home so just keep breathing with me and never let me go again.”

The feel of her in my arms gave me the strength and breath to stay on my feet and we stood there on the dance floor, not dancing but crying and just simply holding each other as tight as we could, like we thought if one of us lessened our hold the other one would evaporate into thin air. When the song ended, I lifted my head from where it was buried in her neck. I opened my eyes and wiping at them, I realized we’d become the center of attention with everyone who’d been dancing forming an almost perfect circle around us. Through my tears, my eyes found Jeff giving me a thumbs up and mouthing the words, “Good luck.” I closed my eyes again briefly and took an honest to God deep breath before looking down at Camie and saying, “Are you sure you’re ready to hear this? I—I don’t wanna ruin your night…”

She looked at me and sniffling through her own tears she said, “Don’t tell me, I don’t wanna know anymore.”

I met her eyes and shook my head. “Camie, I—”

“No, I mean it, Tristan, it doesn’t matter to me anymore, I don’t need to know.”

I sighed and closed my eyes once more, resting my forehead on hers as I said, “But it
does
matter to me. I need to tell you everything, Camie…I—I
have
to do that…I have to so I can forgive myself.”

“B—but I don’t want you to if it’s gonna hurt you do it…”

“Baby, it’ll hurt more if I don’t.”

“I—well, okay, I guess.”

“Um, I’d rather not do it in the middle of a dance floor though…”

She looked around like she’d completely forgotten where we were and when she realized, she said, “Oh, yeah…um, upstairs?”

I nodded and led her out of the ballroom and to the bank of elevators in awkward silence. It was…disheartening. We’ve never had a moment together where the atmosphere was dead like this. When we got inside the elevator, the muzak mixed with the uncomfortable quiet and settled around us so I cleared my throat and told her she looked beautiful. I meant it sincerely, but I started to grin and chuckle when she glared at me as she pointed to her dress and snapped, “Really? I’m freaking Carrie, Tristan! I blamed you at first and kept looking around to see where y—what? What’s so funny?”

“Um…” I mumbled to the ceiling and bit my bottom lip so I wouldn’t start cracking up.

“Oh. My. God. You
were
here! I freaking
knew
it!”

“In my defense, I was in the parking lot for the first dousing, so that’s totally
all
on the cosmos!”

The elevator doors opened, the muzak was replaced by real music and all thought of talking up here vanished when we stepped into the hallway and the tangle of people wandering from room to room, exhibiting that the after-party was already well under way. Camie and I just looked at each other and without a word; we got back in the elevator. Before the doors closed though, Keith ducked inside, looking a little more sober and presentable. The blood from his nose was gone, but his jaw was still pretty swollen and was already turning a nice shade of purple similar to the stains on Camie’s dress. However, aside from that and a good sized tear by his eye that will no doubt leave an ugly scar if he doesn’t get a butterfly on it soon, he looked much less like the roadkill he’d been earlier.

I met his eyes and as he shrugged his shoulders, wincing a bit as he did, he muttered, “I gotta apologize to her. I still can’t believe I said that shit…I’m such a fuckin’ asshole.”

Camie and I both just kind of nodded our acceptance of that declaration and waited for the doors to open again. When they did, we all stepped out. Keith walked around the corner to go find Melissa, but Camie and I had come to a halt, not knowing where to go. We ran through our limited options and decided that talking in the bus might be our best bet, however as we turned the corner to leave the elevator bank, we walked straight into a melee made up of our closest friends along with Zack, Sasha, Keith, Conner, Brenna, and in the middle of the whole thing was that piece of pure fucking evil. I stilled and then looked at Camie whose face had already completely drained of color. Then, seeing my face, she tried to push and shove me away from the confused mingling.

“What the fuck is
this
, Camie?! What’d he do?!”

“Nothing! Don’t worry about it, please, let’s just go…please, Tristan, let them deal with it…come on, please let’s go.”

I was about to give in, but then I caught Pete’s startled expression at seeing me there and instantaneously I saw the words DATE CAMIE DRUG RAPE violently churning and dripping in utter revulsion until they fell into place as the nauseating phrases DRUG CAMIE and DATE RAPE. They were like a matador’s cape to me because I only saw red after that.