Shattered (6 page)

“What the fuck is up, Boyd?” He flashed a smile.  The same smile he’d used on countless barely-legal girls, in the hopes of luring them back to his house after the parties wrapped up.  It amazed me that so many girls fell for him, I never understood the draw.  However, in this instance, I needed something from him.  So I slapped on a flirty smile and proceeded with caution.

“Hey Dan, I was just wondering if you could help me out?”

It was working.  “Sure sweetie, what do ya need?”

I pulled the $20 bill from my back pocket, “Whatever this’ll get me?”  

He excused himself from the doorway, after I refused his invitation to step inside.  He returned quickly with a fifth of generic brand whiskey.  “This work?”

“That’ll do it.”  I handed him the money. “Thanks.”

“Any chance I’ll see you out at Smolder’s?”

“There’s a really good chance.” I smiled, not wanting to crush his dreams.  I didn’t want to have a bad relationship with my supplier.  “See ya around.  Thanks again!”

“Sure thing,” he hesitated, “and remember, you found that in ditch.”

I nodded.  Party Man Dan, may have been stupid enough to buy alcohol for minors, but he always made sure that they knew not to report him if they got caught.

I went home to change before heading out for the party.  I pulled on a pair of jeans and my favorite black-halter top.  I pulled my hair up, letting the waves of my ponytail hang down the middle of my back.  Unlike yesterday, when I looked in the mirror I knew the girl staring back at me.  She was the girl that wanted to forget.  Forget about losing her two best friends.  Forget about the haunted memories in the gym.  Forget about all of the guilt, regret and sadness.  All of it.  The idea of a party would have usually been at the bottom of my to-do list, but tonight, I was pushing it all out of my mind.  I was going to be a normal, reckless teenager. After all, I was supposed to be celebrating my high school graduation. I popped another pill and headed out the door, but not before  grabbing my oversized shoulder bag, now hiding my newly acquired bottle of alcohol.  If I wanted to forget, I’d need a little more than a pill to do it.

Driving down County 5 with a country music party-anthem blaring, I took a swig of the caramel-colored booze and felt a hot, burning sensation course through my body.  The woodsy, honey flavor left a sweet aftertaste in my mouth.  Apparently, $20 didn’t get you the finest quality, but it wasn’t the worst thing I’d ever tasted.  By the time I reached the turn off, I’d already drunk a quarter of the bottle.  The alcohol mixed with the two pills I’d taken that day were just about in full effect and I was ready to party without a care in the world.  I whipped down the dirt road that led down to the river and back to Smolder’s cabin.  I pulled through the gap in the barbed wire fence that surround the property and parked next to the cluster of cars and trucks belonging to the other party-goers.

Hap and January were sitting on the tailgate of his beat up Ford Ranger, waiting for me, each resting their arms on the blue Igloo cooler that sat between them.  There wasn’t much to do in a small town on a Saturday night, but one thing that you could always count on was having a drink.  I watched each of them tip back their brown beer bottles before turning their attention to me.

 “What’s up?” I shouted as I grabbed my bag and got out of the car, with a little stumble in my step.

“Hey.” January’s greeting was accompanied by a look of confusion. “What’s up with you?”  When I’d told her, at the graduation, that I was going out to Smolder’s tonight, her reaction was ecstatic.  “That’s great, I think we could all stand to blow off a little steam and have a good time tonight,” she’d said.  I don’t think she anticipated me having a pre-party by myself, so her words were met with caution as she tried to assess the situation.

“Hey, Lyss,” Hap laughed, “you look like you’re ready for a good time!”

I started to chuckled, “You know what, Hap? I am!”  I could see the look in January’s eyes that let me know she was overly concerned about my behavior.  I hadn’t drank much or really gone out at all since the accident.

“Have you been drinking, already?” The motherly tone of her voice sobered me momentarily.

  “Jan, I’m fine, really.”  I tried to give her my most convincing smile. “I just want to celebrate the end of high school with my friends.”  By friends I meant, January, Hap and the bottle of knock-off Jack Daniels currently tucked away in the safety of my bag.

“Okay, just take it easy tonight,” she said, smiling as we all began to walk back to the cabin.

Hap wrapped his arm around January’s neck, trying to reassure her, “She’ll be fine.” He kissed her cheek. “I mean look at her.”  He pointed at me as I danced my way up the dirt path that led from the pasture to the wooded area surrounding the cabin. “She’s a champ!”

I laughed as we entered the party, already in full swing.  The inside of the cabin was pretty much one big open room.  I saw a handful of my classmates playing cards across the room mixed in with faces that I didn’t recognize.  Smolder’s parties attracted people from all over the county, so I wasn’t surprised that I didn’t know them.  If I were sober, I would have probably been focused on the fact that everyone from Harrington was staring at me.  Feeling sorry for me.  Judging me.  Instead, thanks to the medication and booze that were now flowing through my system, I couldn’t have given two shits.

We made our way over to the kitchen.  The island in the center was apparently the serve-yourself drink station.  I was eyeing the wide selection of alcohols and sodas.  “Help yourself.”  I turned to see Collin Smolder sitting on the counter top on the other side of the island.  Something about the smug look on his face intrigued me.  He was notorious for being an asshole, but I wasn’t intimidated by the reputation that followed him around.  He kept his brown hair cut fairly short, but tonight he was wearing a backwards black ball cap, so I couldn’t tell if he’d let it grow out.  The white wife beater that he had on revealed two things that I’d never noticed before.  He was in a lot better shape than I remembered and his entire left shoulder was covered with tattoos.  I wasn’t close enough to see what they were, but something made me want to find out and possibly run my hands down his firm biceps.  Collin could be the just the thing to complete my goal of saying good riddance to the past.  The liquid courage I’d downed on the way to the party amplified my flirting.

“Thanks,” I flashed a smile, reaching into my bag to pull out the bottle, “I brought my own.”

“I’ve always liked a girl that comes prepared for a good time. ” He smiled to let me know that he was more than willing to help me forget about it all.  There was a small gap between his front teeth that normally would have been a complete turnoff, but it worked for him.  

I smiled as I reached for a red solo cup and filled it with ice.  I began to pour in my drink of choice, but my hand was stopped when I reached the halfway point.

“Let’s mix some soda with that.” January smiled as she filled the rest of the cup up with diet cola.

Buzzkill.  
I knew my friend was just looking out for me, but I needed another mother like I needed a hole in my head.  She convinced me to go outside with her and Hap, but I knew she really just wanted to get me away from Collin’s seductive stare.
 

The backyard was now flooded with people.  The music boomed through the speaker that had been set up in a window of the cabin.  There was a beer pong game going on. I seem to remember teaming up with Hap and kicking some major ass.  When the last ball fell, and we’d defeated every opponent, I was buzzing pretty hard.  I felt Collin’s eyes following me around the party.  Each time I looked at him, a sly smile crossed his lips as if he was plotting something.   By the time the party was winding down, I’d managed to polish off the whiskey I’d brought with me.  Since I was being monitored, my effort was quite commendable.  I had to sneak extra pours into my cup and take a quick shots when Jan wasn’t looking.   

“You ready to go?”  January asked, looking at her watch.  “It’s after midnight.  I can drive you home.”  Even in my wasted state, I could tell that she was trying to get me out of there, before I drank anymore or did something I’d regret.

For months, January had been after me to go out and have some fun.  Now, that I was finally managing to do so, she wanted me to go home and it pissed me off.  “I’m not ready to go,” I pouted, knowing that I couldn’t drive myself home.  My eyes scanned the party, knowing that if I wanted to stay I’d have to find another ride home.  There was no way January would leave me here alone.  I noticed a group of people sitting around the bonfire in the center of the yard. No one I recognized.  There were a few more people tossing rocks and beer bottles into the river that ran across the back of the property, but I couldn’t make out their faces in the moonlight.  The cluster of couples making out by the picnic table looked unapproachable. I finally narrowed in on Collin, who was talking to Dan.  I walked over to where they were standing. “Hey Collin, think you can give me a ride home tonight?”

January was instantly by my side.  I felt her hand wrap around my arm and pull me back before he could answer.  She whispered in my ear, “What are you doing?!  You can’t ride home with him.  He’s bad news, Alyssa.”

I jerked from her grip, “You’re the one that said you were leaving.  I can handle myself!”  I turned my attention back to Collin, “So, how about that ride?”  I stared down at him.  I knew he was trouble, but I couldn’t resist the urge to flirt with him.  January’s warning only added fuel to the fire.  When somebody told me not to do something, it only made me want to do it that much more.

“I’ll give you a ride home, Boyd.” Dan grinned, exuding sliminess.  I ignored him, my eyes still on the tattooed rebel standing in front of me.

Collin’s lips curled into a smile.  His eyes wandered down my body.  Just as he started to speak, January moved to block my view, cutting him off mid-sentence.  “It’s fine,” she huffed, “we’ll stay.”

I smiled like a child who’d just been given a second serving of ice cream, “Great!”

Hap made his way over to us, lugging the now empty cooler behind him, “Ya’ll ready?”

“We’re staying!” I threw my hands up in celebration just as someone turned up the stereo inside, blasting the music to the outside lawn.

“Ooookay.” Hap’s annoyed tone barely distracted me as I brushed by him taking the final gulp of my watered-down drink and tossing the cup on the ground.

  I’m not sure how good my coordination was at the point, but I knew one thing… When Luke Bryan told you to “shake it,’ by God, you shook it.  I made my way up on top of the picnic table that was littered with half empty cups and bottles, and proceeded to move my hips, in what I assumed was a seductive rhythm.

“Alright!” Dan shouted as he and a few other creepers settled in around the table for the show.  All eyes were on me, and for once they weren’t waiting for me to have a nervous breakdown.  I could hear my conscience trying to speak up, telling me
this is not a good idea
.  I needed more alcohol to gag the nagging voice. I knelt down in front of Collin and pulled the beer bottle from his grasp and tipped it to my lips, guzzling down all that was left.  I gave him a wink as I returned the empty bottle to his hand and stood to continue my dance routine.

I saw the disapproving stare coming from January.  Hap was nose to nose with Dan. I assumed he was letting him know that throwing dollar bills at me was not acceptable behavior.

“Get down!” January yelled as she tried to pull me from my platform.  When I jerked my hand from hers, I may have exerted a little much force, because the last thing I remember is trying to regain my footing and then total darkness.

I woke up the next morning thankful to be in my bed.  Hap and Jan must have hauled me up here after I passed out. Thank god, my parents hadn’t woken up. As soon as I opened my eyes, I felt the urge to vomit.  I quickly made my way down the hall to the bathroom.  Luckily, my parents had both gone to church.  Heaven forbid Mary Boyd miss a Sunday service. I was happy to be alone.  I couldn’t bear the thought of listening to my mother lecture me about the consequences of underage drinking and being responsible.

When I finished purging my system of unwanted alcohol and the memories of the bad decisions I’m made the night before, I took a shower.  I felt like a new woman afterward.  One of the perks of being eighteen was the ability to recover quickly from a hangover.  The only thing left that I needed to complete my cure all was one of Danner’s greasy cheeseburgers.  January must have been reading my mind, because I heard the sound of my phone alerting me that I had a text message.

Diner in 15?
 

I responded…
YES!
 

The anticipation of sinking my teeth into that burger made me rush out the door and neglect taking the little pill that had been clouding my mind and judgment for the past two days.  Jan and Hap also managed to get my car home last night.

I pulled in the square, parked my car and walked into the diner. The Danner family had been running it for the past thirty or so years.  On weekday mornings, it served as the local gossip spot for the town elders who sat in clusters sipping their morning coffee and discussing local events.  On nights and weekends, it was overtaken by the younger population.  Teenagers would meet up to study, chat and grab a bite to eat.  It was one of the only places to go for a date in this town.  The closet city was a thirty minute drive and all they had to offer was a handful of chain restaurants and a two-screen movie theater, which is why most dates in Harrington consisted of road tripping through the countryside.

“Good morning!” I greeted January and Hap as I slid into a corner booth.

“You’re awfully chipper after the night you had,” January said, taking a sip of her chocolate milkshake, unimpressed with my quick recovery.  I knew she was pissed about the show I put on last night.

“I feel pretty good.  The morning was a little rough, but nothing a cheeseburger won’t take care of.” I smiled as the waitress stopped and took my order.  She was an angel in a cheap polyester uniform.