Shattered (Alchemy Series Book #3) (11 page)

"Why? What happened?"
he asked.

I
told him about how the mist seeped out and the rippers had been forced back just by my voice alone.

"But you still haven't seen it?"

"Like I used to? No. Not since New York." I didn't add that I wondered if somehow on that night I had absorbed it into myself. That the silver strands were now part of me, maybe always had been.

I looked at Cormac
, wondering if he was thinking the same thing but his face was unreadable again. Then he left the room and I relaxed deeper into the couch cushions. That had been pretty easy. I'd been expecting a much larger fight than that.

I just la
y there and stared through the windows, too tired to stand anymore. An occasional ripper passed by, glancing in out of curiosity, but I was becoming adjusted to them and just changed my view to the other side of the window and tried to remember what the glittering view used to look like, even at the wee hours of the morning like now.

Cormac walked back in and I rolled my eyes. I
'd relaxed too soon.

"Hold out your ha
nd," he said as he stopped next to me.

I did as he asked but imme
diately dropped the black-shrunken piece of flesh to the ground.

"Ugh, what is that!" I looked at it there
, lying on the floor.

"That was the contract between us."
He stood a few feet away from me, just staring.

I looked back, trying to gauge his mood
. Nothing. "It's completely destroyed? That easily?" I didn't think he would do it. He actually did it. Now that it was gone, I didn't know how I felt.

"It wasn't t
hat easy, but I created it. It wasn't triggered, so I could destroy it."

"So that's it.
It's just handled. We're unengaged or whatever?" The thing looked like it had been charred but there were no ashes in my hand. It was over. I was free, so why wasn't I as relieved as I thought I'd be?

"Yes," he said. "Are you happy now?"

Did he want me to
be happy or was I supposed to be nonchalant? I watched him standing there, not moving an inch. I hated when he shut me out like this and I had no idea what he was thinking. If I'd done something someone asked me to do, I'd be thankful. I'd been asking him to get rid of it, so maybe I was supposed to be happy.

"Yes, thank you. It will just make everything much easier now
, I think." The black flesh lying there kept drawing my gaze.

He d
idn't say a word in reply and I started to ramble on.

"I didn't think you'd do it
, but it's for the best. I'm way too young to be married after all, and this way we can just take our time and see if it's the right thing." I didn't know if I was convincing him or myself anymore. "Really, this was the right thing." I tore my eyes off the dead contract and looked up at Cormac and a knot formed in my stomach.

His face wasn't emotionless anymore
, but cold.

"You once told me you we
re broken. I didn't believe you, at first. Actually, that's not true, I knew you were broken but I thought I could fix you." He took a couple steps away from me and I couldn’t take my eyes off of him as my insides clenched and I realized belatedly that he hadn't wanted me to be happy.

He turned back to me, now almost across the room. He was distancing himself from me.

"Even after I started to doubt whether I could make you want me the way I wanted you, I decided it didn't matter. I'd take you broken, if that was the only way I could have you."

I started to relax just a hair. This would be okay.

"But then, at every turn, you cut me off."

"I just need time," I said.

"No, you don't. Or you shouldn't. When you care for someone, you don't want to waste time."

"But I'm younger than you, it's different."

"You're old enough. If time were the problem, I could wait forever. But it's not."

"
I don't understand why you are acting like this. So, now what? I marry you or you're done with me?"

"No, we're just
done." He turned and walked toward his room. He didn't bother to look at me as he uttered his final words. "I'll arrange for you to get a room on Dodd's floor."

Why was he doing this?
I didn't call after him. I didn't get up and pack my things. I just sat there, frozen, as the last certain thing in my life was ripped from my grasp.

Cormac was done with me?

"She's awake and speaking," Dark said as he burst into the penthouse living
room at nine the next morning. I was having coffee and nursing my horrible evening hangover, this one having nothing to do with booze, as I wondered how many more mornings I'd have before I was booted. Had Cormac really been serious or was this just a bully tactic he was using on me? My emotions felt like raw skin that was sensitive to the slightest touch.

"Huh?" I asked.

"Colleen, she's awake."

I splashed my coffe
e on myself in my rush to stand and get moving. Dark waited for me by the door.

"Did she say anything
?" I asked as we both got into the elevator. I hated the elevator but I wanted to get to Colleen as quickly as possible.

"She just woke."

"Are you okay?" I asked, since we had maybe a whole minute of downtime waiting for the elevator to get to the seventh floor. This was the first time I'd seen him since we'd both gotten back.

"
A little sore, no biggy. When the change is forced, it makes the muscles hurt." He cracked his neck as he spoke.

"What exactly happened?"

"I've been feeling it just beneath the surface since New York. Stress can force the change. I should've been able to keep control of it, even with the additional strain, but there's something about this new world that's making it harder."

"E
verything is harder these days," I said, as I looked at him in his t-shirt and ripped jeans. He looked like a carefree young guy if you didn't look closely, or didn't know him well. But the strain was there, in the down turned corners of his mouth and the weariness of his eyes.

"I know it's
screwing with you, too." He smiled then, but it was the smile of co-commiseration, with no real happiness behind it. "Besides, the human vaporizer trick, I hear you've got a bit of a drinking problem these days."

"I don't have a drinking
problem. I've got a shitty life problem and I'm self medicating because we've lost our only real doctor and we're out of antidepressants."

"We've all got shitty li
ves," Dark said. "My life sucks, too."

I grabbed his arm and turned him to face me so I could make sure he understood my next words. "
Dark, I destroyed the world as we know it."

It took him a second but then he shrugged in acceptance. "Dodd's got a couple of extra bottles of whiskey
, if you're running low."

"Thank you. I appreciate the support."

The doors slid open just in time for me to stop dwelling on the complete mess everything was. I stepped out into the hallway and remembered exactly where I needed to go. When I got to the room, the Fae doctor was already there and so was Cormac. Burrom was standing back along the wall.

Looking at Cormac
, I searched for some sign that last night had just been one of our tiffs, and he hadn't been serious. He didn't even look at me. When he did look up, his gaze passed over me as if I weren’t there. I looked down at Colleen, to avoid staring at him.

"She doesn’t look awake," I said, watching the girl
lie lifeless on the bed. The moment I spoke the words, her purple eyes fluttered open.

I leaned down next to her and took her hand. "Colleen?"

She pulled her hand back, looking wary, and I let it go. "Does anyone know if she has any family?" I asked.

"No," Colleen answered for herself and I watched as she tried to pull herself into a sitting position. I wanted to help but I was afraid to touch her again. The way she was eyeing up Cormac was probably the reason he wasn't approaching her either.

Dark took the initiative and stepped around me to help her. She didn't look very comfortable with him either, but she didn't pull back.

"What happened?" Cormac asked and I could see the girl's eyes open just a hair bigger.
"Colleen, you need to tell us," he continued. I watched as he started to lean forward over the bed.

The girl
's eyes darted to Dark and then shifted back to Cormac.

Bullying was just going to shut this girl down
, but I found I was somewhat afraid to speak to Cormac. I didn't know if I could handle him outright ignoring me in front of everyone. "Cormac, I need you to check on something with me. She's okay. Let's give her some space."

Our eyes
truly met for the first time. I held my breath as he hesitated. He might really be done with me and it made my head spin. Finally, after a couple of tense moments, he nodded and followed me out of the room, throwing a last glance at Dark that told him he better get the desired information.

"She would've talked," he said once we were a healthy distance away down the hall.

"I'm not doubting your ability to intimidate, but wouldn't it be nice if we got the information without traumatizing the girl further?"

"Only if it doesn't take too long."
He still wasn't looking at me when he spoke, but walking down the hall.

"Where are you
going?" I asked.

"To check on the field
."

I followed him down the stair
s to the main floor, not speaking. We walked through what used to be the casino floor that had recently developed makeshift divides. There were Fae selling magical charms in one corner and humans selling goods they had scavenged in another. Werewolves were lingering here and there. I'd heard a rumor they were offering protection in return for food and other items, but I hadn't had it confirmed. Right now, it was still just an unsettling rumor.

Stares fleetingly landed on me
as we passed through but moved quickly on to a different subject with Cormac by my side.

Cormac was a whole other type of problem. I'd never had someone
accept me so fully, who made me feel safe even in chaos and then hurt me so badly. It felt like my soul was being ripped into little pieces. I wanted him, but I was having a hard time resigning myself to what he'd done, what he would still be willing to do. And now, I didn't have words for what it felt like to know he could just cut me out of his world like this. Had I ever even really meant anything to him? If I did, how could he be acting this coldly toward me?

I follow
ed him outside and around the side of the building to the larger area. The cement had been torn up and sod was being laid down in its place. It had probably been torn up from the front yards of houses that no longer had residents. A small doll was lying in the heap of grass they hadn't gotten to yet. I hoped it was hastily abandoned on their way to a safer place and not the bleak alternative.

"It's not a huge area but I figured I'd send the next scouts out to see if they could round up some chicken
s. If a storm comes in, they're building a ramp over there that leads into the casino and will shelter them from the storm."

"How did you get so many people to help?"
I asked looking at the twenty or so men laying the recycled grass.

"They like
d it better than the work detail they currently have."

He's showing me what he's up to. Maybe he wasn't done. Maybe I just had to throw him a bone?

"Thanks for showing me," I said, smiling as sweetly as I could.

"
We had a couple of minutes to kill." His face was stone.

Cormac's phone lit up and he answered it quickly
. "Okay," he replied briefly into the phone and hung up. "Dark's got our answers."

I watched him walk back toward the casino, leaving me to follow…or not. I did
, but I wasn't following him, I told myself. What was the point? He was really done. The guy had shot me, bullied me and was an all-around ass, sometimes. I wasn't going to be some idiot with Stockholm syndrome. If he couldn't take it slow, then I didn't want him either.

"She didn't want to admit that she
was different, one of the
changed
," Dark told the two of us as we sat on the couch back in the penthouse.

"Did you tell her the purple eyes were a dea
d giveaway?" Cormac said.

First he kicks me out and now he's
stealing my lines?

"I didn't know this
, but the humans have been getting aggressive toward the
changed
," Dark continued.