Shattered (Broken Trilogy Book 2) (15 page)

“One Marcus Martini for you.” Mark grins as his eyes fall to my neck where I know from checking myself out in the bathroom mirror I have a purple and blue necklace of bruises. I gladly take the drink and pluck an olive off the stick. “Cole should be down soon, he's just making his report. Look, Savi, I know you've been through a lot. I hope you know how much we all care about you. Is there anything you want to talk about? Are you okay?”

“That’s a big question,” I answer honestly.

Mark nods, looking at the room full of all our friends smiling and talking. “This is a big day, not only because we brought you back home, Savi, but we took down The American. It’s been a long seven-year hunt for that bastard. He's been a real thorn in our side, and every one of these guys has reason to celebrate.”

I tuck my feelings aside and click Mark’s beer. “You’re right, Mark. You know I love you guys and couldn’t be more thankful for what you’ve all done for me. Now let’s go celebrate.”

Later that night, I lie back on my pillow and think about the evening. Cole wasn’t able to come celebrate at all in the end, as he had a video conference with Frank and some other important people about the capture of The American. I am too tired to last more than a few hours and really just want to sleep and turn off for a while.
Thinking is overrated
.

It is about three a.m. when I feel Cole slip into bed with me. Something cold touches my skin, and I feel him placing my snowflake chain back on, fastening it around my neck. I squeeze my eyes shut, realizing how much I missed its comfort. His arm slides over me and pulls my back flush against his front. He sighs and breathes me in deeply then tucks his face into my neck, lacing my fingers with his, and we both fall into a deep sleep.

***

The week goes by in an odd blur. Everyone seems to be doing their thing, whereas I just float around unable to focus on anything. Cole is extremely busy. I’ve seen him twice for dinner, but he doesn’t talk much and seems preoccupied. His apologetic comment that he is mentally fried was given with a quick hug in the hallway. Abigail and June are helping Derek’s sister with his funeral arrangements but don’t talk to me about it. I’m sure they are only being kind, but leaving me out of it makes me feel isolated and guilty instead. Keith, John, and Paul are hardly around, and Mike only will talk to me if I stray too far off the grounds.

I start to feel strange in this house, a little lost and, frankly, a little hurt. No, to be honest, I’m really hurting. Feeling my mood sink even lower, my heart weighs heavily in my chest. I find myself drawn down to the entertainment room. Sliding down onto the smooth wooden bench, my fingers lift the cover, exposing the soothing ivory keys.

My eyes close and my heart swells as I feel her sit down next to me. Letting out a long, slow breath, my fingers touch the keys softly.

“Let’s play our song, but add a little of your flavor to it,” Mom suggests, grinning at me with a bump to the shoulder. “Come on, sweetie, let whatever is bothering you flow out through your fingers.” I take in a another deep breath and let the pain flow from my soul.

The first line to
These Arms of Mine
by Otis Redding slips past my lips, and the notes start to form the song’s beautiful melody.

***

Cole

Cole moves about the kitchen looking for something quick to eat, but nothing looks appetizing. Abigail joins him, holding a newspaper which she drops on the counter in front of him. Cole leans forward and reads the headlines, seeing the news about The American has made the front page. “One of America’s most wanted fugitives captured.”

“The question is will her father be next?” Abigail sets a sandwich down in front of him. “You need to eat more than an apple. I can make myself another one. Where’s Savi? I haven’t seen much of her lately.”

“You don’t hear that?” Mark says as he snatches the sandwich off the plate and takes three big bites. Cole steps out into the living room, hearing the piano and Savannah’s deep, soulful voice. He turns to look at Mark in disbelief. “Yeah, for like ten minutes now. Girl has some mad talent.”

Before he gets a chance to hear much more, the song ends. The sound of the piano cover closing has Cole and Abigail slipping back into the kitchen, pretending to be busy as Savannah climbs the stairs and enters the room. She blushes slightly as she sees them. He can tell she thought she was alone in this part of the house.

“Hey, Savi,” Abigail says, standing in front of the fridge. “You thirsty? I just made some lemonade.”

She nods and comes over to the island, standing next to Cole. He leans over and gives her a kiss on the cheek, but her body turns slightly, almost as though she doesn’t want it. “Are you all right?” Her body language screams no, but she nods.

“Really, Savi?” Mark says through a mouthful of cookie. “You’re gonna lie to Logan?” he sputters, sending crumbs into the air. “You seem to forget what we do for a living. Besides, the way you played and sang that song nearly brought me to my knees in tears.”

“Mark!” Abigail scowls, making Savannah gasp. “Filter, my son,” she scolds him.

“What?” He shrugs. “It was a compliment.”

***

Savannah

I shift while watching him scribble on his tablet. Snow is falling outside the window behind him, brightening up all the scruffy areas, softening the landscape in a winter wonderland again. “Tell me, Savannah, how does it feel to be back?” Dr. Roberts asks, as we sip our coffee in our usual meeting room next to Cole’s office. I was the one who asked him to come this morning. Something feels off, and I want to get to the bottom of it.

“It feels great…good, I mean. It’s a relief to be back, of course.”

“But…” He pulls his glasses down on his nose, knowing there’s more.

I shrug, not sure how to put it. “I don’t know. I mean, I’ve been back here for a week now. I’m happy. I’m safe. I’m so grateful to the guys…I just thought it would feel a little different.”

“How different?”

I shift again and tuck my dress a little tighter around my legs, feeling nervous about answering this question, knowing that once I say it out loud, it makes it true. “It feels like it’s not quite where I need to be.”

He nods like he understands me instead of displaying the confusion I expected from him. “Savannah, you were left to look after your mother for the four years she was ill. Weren’t you fourteen when she passed?” I nod miserably. ”So, that would have made you ten when you took on a very adult emotional task, correct?” I nod, agreeing. “Okay, so then after your mother died, your father began his political climb to the mayor’s office, thrusting you into his world. Suddenly the press is hounding you, your life is turned upside down, and you start to run into problems, so you put your life on hold once again for your parents. A few years later you are kidnapped and held for seven terrible months.” I clear my throat uncomfortably and start to say something, but he holds up his hand and continues. “Finally, you are rescued and brought here. Then,” he pauses with his finger in the air, “a few months later you are taken once again, then rescued
and
brought back here again.” He looks at me with one eyebrow raised, waiting for a response.

“Okay…” is all I can muster.

“What I’m saying, Savannah, is you need to give yourself some time for you. You need to process all that has happened. You haven’t had a chance to live your
own
life yet. You’re twenty-nine years old and—”

“…Still feel like I’m going in circles with no direction and no end in sight,” I answer, feeling like he has just hit the source of my problem. “I don’t really know who I am and what I want, and now that all my major life-altering problems seem to be ending, I find myself lost.” A horrible feeling hits my stomach when I suddenly think of Cole.

“Finding yourself doesn’t mean you have to give up anything. It just means you need a little time to be alone.”

“Space,” I whisper, closing my eyes. “I think I just need some space that’s mine.”

***

Cole

Cole hangs up the phone after a long three-hour conversation with Frank. Turns out they have enough evidence to convict Lynn, thanks to Joe Might, who is willing to throw her under the bus to get a lesser sentence for himself. However, the Mayor is pinning it all on Luka Donavan. It’s easier to blame the dead than the living who have a voice.

He pours himself a cup of coffee and leans against the window, watching the snow fall. A storm is coming. They’re supposed to be getting forty-five inches of snow. He’s thankful his father arrived home safely last night. A bullet grazed his shoulder, and now he and Mark are joking that they actually planned their new matching scars.

“Cole?” Savannah whispers behind him. He turns, feeling the strange vibe that seems to be there whenever they are together lately. He knows he really needs to address the Derek issue, as she still must have raw feelings about it. She’s been acting different since she got back, and it’s not like her to keep him at arm’s length. It’s killing him. “Cole,” she repeats when he doesn’t answer right away, “do you have a moment?”

He nods and rubs his face. God, he is tired. He sits down on the couch while she takes a seat across from him.

“Why?” he asks without thinking.

“Why what?”

“Why are you over there and not over here next to me?”

“Because I don't think clearly when I’m that close to you.”

“Well, I don’t like it,” he admits.

She stares at him for a moment then comes over and sits next to him. His hand reaches for her automatically, tugging her closer, but she stops him. She slides to the other end of the couch, looking uncomfortable.

“Okay, I’m listening,” he says, raising his hand to show her he won’t grab for her again.

It takes her a few minutes, but she finally clears her throat. “I saw some pictures.”

He doesn’t hesitate. “Savannah, we met Jose four months ago. He thought we were looking for work with The Cartels. The guy is a bit of an idiot, and we quickly gained intel on your whereabouts. We met up with him a few times at that café, and apparently so did The American. That’s how we found you—”

“No,” she interrupts, her face growing pale, “not that picture.”

Cole turns, pulling a leg up so he can look at her better. “Then which?”

“The one with the blonde.” His stomach rolls.
Oh fuck,
how the hell? “The one where you were holding her in your arms like you hold me. The one where you are staring at her with the same look you have for me. The one where you are kissing her with the same lips you use on me.” She pauses, nearly in tears. “I thought…” She shakes her head, standing and putting more distance between them. “I’m sure there’s some reason why you were doing that with her, but…”

“There is,” he chimes in.

She holds up her hand to stop him. “But regardless, those little things mean something to me. I thought they were
only
for me.”

“They are.” He stands and goes to her, but she steps back. He hates not being able to touch her when he wants to. He shouldn’t, but he shares, “She’s an informant for Shadows. She’s the one who helps us gain info on the Cartel. Her brother runs tight with them. She’s had a crush on me forever, and when you were taken, I knew I had to…I played dirty to get anything I could on your whereabouts. But, Savannah, she means nothing to me. I did it all for you, for us.” He can feel her pull away mentally, her big beautiful eyes filling with tears again. “I love you, Savannah, I always have. Please don’t pull away from me. My heart can’t take losing you again.”

She steps forward, then stops as big, silent tears roll down her cheeks. With each one that falls, a piece of his own heart falls along with it. “I promised Keith I’d help him with something.”

“Savannah, please.” Cole catches her by the hand, but she shakes her head, making him release her immediately.

As she reaches the door, she turns, keeping her head down. “I love you, Cole, but put yourself in my shoes. Think about how much that would hurt seeing me with another man, looking at him like that, even if it
was
for a good reason.”

“It would destroy me,” he admits, feeling sick.

She nods once, then slowly closes the door behind her.

Cole grabs for one of his brandy glasses and sends it across the room, feeling all kinds of fucked up emotions. It shatters into a million pieces right along with his heart.

Chapter Twelve

Savannah

Walking, walking, and more walking around half of the lake, I’m just trying to make sense of everything. By the time I make it back to the house, I’m more mixed up than I was when I started. It’s late, the sun is setting, and the snow is coming down harder. After a quick trip to my room, I go to the kitchen, grab a bottle of wine, a glass, and an opener, and head downstairs. Luckily, most of the guys have been busy with the wind-up of The American case, so everyone seems to be keeping to themselves.

I step out into the freezing air in a pair of flips flops. Climbing up onto a chair, I cover the camera pointing in my direction with a t-shirt. I rip off my top and chuck my shorts to the side. I toss my hair into a messy bun as I sink into the deliciously hot water. It feels divine. I instantly feel the tension slip away from my body. In the winter they keep the hot tub covered with a tent that opens at the sides. I open only one flap, so I have a private view of the lake.

My second glass in, and I feel pretty damn relaxed. I can’t believe I haven’t come here sooner. Closing my eyes, leaning my head back, I listen to how quiet the snow makes everything. It makes for a perfect moment.

“See, Savi, this is the perfect place for a vacation.” Lynn grins with a lime green straw wedged between her lips. She’s on her fourth margarita since we hit the beach an hour ago. She surprised me with a trip to Fiji for my birthday. We’re staying in a little bungalow on Castaway Island. No one knows me, allowing me to blend in perfectly.

I slip my sunglasses on, plucking the melon from the rim of my mojito and popping it in my mouth. The cold juice is refreshing. “Yes.” A grin tugs at my lips, as our morning yoga trainer, Diogo, grabs a paddle board and heads for the crisp blue ocean. “I think this is one of the best presents you’ve ever given me.”

She laughs, clinking her drink to mine. He might be married, but nothing matters with an ass like that.

“I wonder where his tan line ends.” I give her a devilish grin.

She shakes her head. “I have goggles, wanna go find out?”

“Yup!”

A shadow casts over Lynn, making me squint to see who’s interrupting our fun.

“Hello, ladies, my name is Jerry. I teach a scuba class with the resort.” Jerry grins with a large set of pearly whites and shows us his hotel ID. “Our first class starts in ten. Would you like to join?”

I glance at Lynn, who is downing her drink with a dirty grin.

“Yes, Jerry, that sounds like a great plan.”

Poor Diogo.

I didn’t even know I was grinning until my reality comes crashing around me, making my eyes pop open. I rub a spot over my heart, which hurts like hell when I think of our happy
fake
memories. I wonder if my father planned the whole trip, just to get me out of the media.

“I hate my past,” I bitch, shaking Lynn’s face from my thoughts.

“I’m glad I didn’t send Dell out here to check on the camera,” Cole says, standing in front of the open side and making me jump. His hands are tucked into his pockets as snowflakes hit then disappear when they meet the heat of his body through his sweater. He’s very sexy in his black sweater and jeans. “Is that even considered a bikini?” I think about my suit rather than look at it. I guess its white strings may be a little skimpy, but I wasn’t planning on having company. “You want to be left alone?” I shake my head and take a slow sip of my wine, watching him intently. He yanks off his sweater, giving me a moment to gawk at his strong arms, chest, and back. I try to hide my body’s natural reaction to him, but it’s impossible. Pure lust rises to the surface whenever he’s around. His pants come off next and are set down carefully by his boots, his inner Army ways coming out. He settles in the water across from me, his legs stretched out on either side. Our eyes wander over one another, both knowing we’ve been physically attracted to each other from day one, so neither of us even pretends to look away.

I tip my glass of wine in his direction as if to ask if he wants some. He nods, holding out a hand for me to come to him, but first I lean back and pour more wine into my glass. Keeping low in the water, my eyes on his, I move toward him, stopping just in front of him but not quite touching. He suddenly leans forward and grasps my hips, lifting me to straddle his lap. I squeak when the wine spills over my arms and down my chest, the cold liquid making me shiver. He bends down and drags his hot tongue across my skin, licking the wine from between my breasts, then along my collarbone and up to my earlobe where he nibbles lightly. I try not to react, try to keep a clear head, but instead I let out a sharp breath as my senses take a dive. Cole takes the glass from me, downing half of it while keeping those gorgeous dark eyes on mine. Then he comes in for a kiss, and that does it. I turn my head to the side; suddenly all I can picture is those lips on the blonde’s. He downs the rest of the wine and sets the glass aside.

The wind picks up, blowing snow in on us. I shift down and back, and so does he, so we're both better protected from the storm, which is now becoming a blizzard. Cole pulls me back onto his lap where I meet a rather intense look. His fingers walk up my back, undoing the ties on the back of the suit. It springs forward as he lifts it over my head. My bottoms are removed just as fast, then he shifts and removes his.

He moves so his erection is between my aching thighs, with me just barely touching him, and waits, wanting me make the first move. I hesitate while I battle it out with myself, and in the end my lust wins and I slowly slide down over top of him, making us both drop our heads back, sighing. He wraps an arm around my waist and the other grips my shoulder as I start to move very slowly. I can see his muscles flexing, trying hard to give me control. His jaw is set perfectly still as my breasts bounce in front of his mouth, his stubble teasing them as they brush by. The contrast of the cold air and the hot water is an intense sensation. Cole comes in for another kiss, but I turn my face away and continue at the same pace. He growls and grits his teeth, bucking his hips to get me to move faster, but I don’t. In fact, I move slower. Yes, I’m punishing him, but it’s hurting me too. I hate hurting, I hate even more that he’s the one who hurt me. I swallow past the growing lump, trying desperately to shove the feelings away.

“Enough of this shit.” He pulls me up, flips me over the side of the tub, and thrusts back in. He lies his front over my back, holding me down. “Stop punishing me,” he growls. “I only did what I had to do to get you back. I only kissed her, nothing more. I hated it, but I’d do it again if it means saving your life.” He pulls out, then slams back in. “I know you’re dealing with a lot, but you better let me in. If you have something to say, then say it, but don’t,” he slams in again, making me cry out, “ever deny me your lips, Savannah.” He pounds in again, sending water spilling over the edge. He pulls out, making me whimper. “They are mine, just like this,” he palms my ass, “and this,” his fingers slip inside me, driving me wild. I grind my hips into him, wanting more. His other hand slips over my chest, making a point to stop over my heart. “All of it is mine, just like all of me is yours.” He leans back and grasps my hips with both hands, and nudges just the tip of him inside. “Will you kiss me when I’m done fucking you?” I don’t answer. I’m so pent up I’m about to jump out and roll in the snow for some kind of relief. “Savannah!”

“Yes!” I cry out as he plows back in over and over. I don’t want it to end. He’s the only man who has ever made me feel every possible feeling at once, but at the same time feel each individually as well. It’s intoxicating. It’s erotic. It’s…it’s…it’s…I scream as every muscle clenches, sending me off toward the snowy night. He shouts and grips my shoulders, his whole body shaking on top of mine. He pulls out, flips me over, and attacks my lips. He’s like a hungry animal and I'm his first meal in months. Within minutes he’s entering me again, but this time he has me straddling his lap, facing him. He does all the work since I’ve become like jelly, but it doesn’t take long for my senses to kick back in to match his rhythm.

“Cole,” I moan as he bites my neck and massages my breast. “I hate that you hurt me,” I confess, wanting to get it off my chest. “I hate that it was
you
who hurt me.” My rocking has picked up pace; I’m close now. I’m panting, and I can feel him struggling with having to stop to talk, wanting to keep going, so I grab his face and kiss him. I’m torn too, but right now I need this closeness. I love him. This sets him off and he stands, holding me with him and sitting me on the highest seat, nearly out of the water, and hooks my legs over his shoulders. He hangs on to the side of the tub, getting in as deep as he possibly can. I clench around him, feeling full as he hits all the right places. My eyes roll up to the roof of the tent, seeing many colors dance around as I fall into a sea of passion. I couldn’t be happier. Only he can make me feel this way.

“No one else,” he grunts as he fills me with another hot burst of him.

We're both completely spent by the time we finish. I sit wrapped in his arms, watching the white curtain, the snowflakes dancing in a beam of light from the house. You can barely see three feet in front of us now. Cole slowly kisses my neck like he can’t stop.

“Cole?” I whisper, not wanting to break this moment, but I need to, sadly. That nagging feeling is still there.

“Mmmm.” His chest vibrates.

“I-ah, umm,”
Fuck.

“Tell me. It’s nothing we can’t handle.”

Shit, I can’t. Ahhh…
I chicken out, so I go with something else that has been on my mind. “What’s going to happen to my father?”

Cole sighs and holds me tighter. “It will take time, but he’ll make a mistake somewhere and we’ll nail him.” He pauses. “Do you want your father to go to jail?”

“Yes,” I say simply, because any father who can willingly hand over his daughter to someone the way he did, and kill Derek and shoot Paul…this man is not my father. He is someone else. “I’m struggling with Derek’s death.”

Cole turns my face around with his finger, and his look is serious. “You need to understand something, Savannah. What Derek did was wrong. That was his mistake, taking you there with no backup. It went totally against all he should have learned in his training. Whether or not he thought it was a good idea, it wasn’t. That’s why Derek would never have made it on the Blackstone team. He makes dangerous choices. His death is not on you.” His hands cup my face so I look into his eyes. “Believe me, what happened is on him. No one blames you.”

I nod in fear of saying anything. I hurt like hell on this topic. What Cole is saying makes sense. I just need time…time…I try to open my mouth and say the words to him, but I can’t.

“Who hired you to come find me? I know my father didn’t.”

Cole cups some water, warming my shoulders. He doesn’t answer right away. I know he’s thinking about my question and his answer. “Sometimes when cases get as big as yours and are splashed all over the newspapers, we look into it ourselves without being asked to by the family. It didn’t take us long to see there was something fishy about your case. The more we looked into it, the more things weren’t adding up. So I put my men on it and we tracked you down.”

“Wow,” I whisper, picturing the guys chasing leads.

“When I saw your picture,” he pauses, making me look up at him, “I couldn’t stop staring at it. You drew me. You are so beautiful, Savannah. We pulled every string, asked every favor, sneaked in places off the grid, just to find a clue that would lead us to you. And I may have done a few things I’m ashamed of, but I don’t care.”

His finger hooks my chin and tilts it up, his eyes dark as night. “Baby, I’d play dirty for you any day.”

I smile and give him a soft kiss under his jaw. Threading his fingers through mine, I sag back into his lap, resting his hand over my stomach. Sometimes I feel like the baby can feel him.

“I had no idea that you and I would have ended up here.” He squeezes me a little tighter, then leans down, brushing his lips over the shell of my ear. “I’m sorry for what happened to you, but I’ll never be sorry for tracking you down and falling in love with you.”

***

“You’re awfully quiet.” Keith peers at me from the driver’s seat. I made a lunch date with Sue today. I miss her and have only seen her once since I’ve been back. Keith had to go into town to pick up something from Christina’s store, so he offered to drive me.

“Just thinking.”

“About?”

“About…stuff.”

“What kind of stuff?” he tries again.

I shake my head. Nosy bugger. “I’m just need to process some things.”

“I’m a great listener.” He grins. Keith has taken on the role of an older brother.

I don’t want to raise any red flags with Keith since he can read me like an open book, so I go another route. “Is Dell back to replace—?

“Rent?”

“Yes, to replace Derek?” He nods, peering over at me. “I thought so.”

“Dell has been waiting to work at Shadows for a long time. This will be his chance to see if he has what it takes. Plus, Logan is still looking into recruiting one of the men from the training session earlier in the month.”