Shattered Dreams (21 page)

“
I need to find work, Harry,” she replied equally
quietly.

“
Just promise me that you will wait for a few days more. Once
this investigation is over, then I will tell you everything. Right
now, I just can’t tell you too much.”

Tilly
wanted to say yes, she really did, but she desperately needed some
degree of security in her life; even if that security came in the
form of a definite job in a real house.

“
I can’t live my life in limbo,” she told him solemnly. “If
this investigation ends tomorrow, I am hardly likely to be allowed
to stay here for several weeks until I can find a job.”

He
sighed impatiently. She looked so lost and forlorn that he felt
certain sure that she was going to cry at any moment.

“
Come here,” he growled. He drew her into his protective
embrace, and settled her against his chest with a contented
sigh.

Tilly
couldn’t deny herself this one brief foray into self-indulgence. If
she was honest, she wanted to know what it felt like to be held by
this man. With the clouds of insecurity hanging over her, she
desperately needed someone to lean on.

The
heavy beat of his heart sounded loud in her ears as she rested her
head against his chest and felt his arms slide around her waist to
draw her closer still, but she couldn’t deny either of them this
one very special moment.

“
I can’t tell you too much about the investigation, Tilly,” he
murmured from somewhere above her head. “If I could, I would. I
just promise you that I made a colossal error when I allowed you to
leave here the other week. I feel responsible for what happened to
you, and I intend to correct that.”

She
leaned back and looked up at him in astonishment. “It isn’t your
fault. You can hardly be to blame for my circumstances.”

“
I know,” he declared softly. “But I should have offered you a
bed here until you decided where you would prefer to live. I should
have done something more to help you. It is just that my hands were
tied, you see? Because I was working on this investigation alone, I
just couldn’t have you in the house. I needed to be able to focus
on the Dandridges’, and couldn’t protect you at the same time.
Thankfully, Barnaby arrived, but just a few minutes too late for me
to stop you from leaving. I tried to come after you, but you had
already gone.”

Tilly
nodded and fought back the bitter disappointment that swept through
her. She realised then that he had rescued her because he felt
guilty. While she was still relieved that he had come after her,
she couldn’t help but feel a little deflated that it had been guilt
that had driven him, rather than a need to see her
again.

Still,
she couldn’t lose sight of the fact that she was a servant. He was
an incredibly handsome man who had the world at his feet. What did
she expect? That he adored her so much at first sight that he
couldn’t bear to be parted from her?

Yes!
A tiny voice deep inside her
screamed, but she quickly ignored it, and turned her attention back
to the man who was quite intimately pressed against her.

“
There was nothing more you could have done,” she whispered
sadly. “Even if you had offered me a room, I wouldn’t have taken
it.” She leaned back to smile up at him. “It wouldn’t be right or
proper.”

He
smiled because he knew she was referring to their present situation
that was anything but right and proper, but made no attempt to
release her. Eventually, her head lowered back to his shoulder and
they lapsed into comfortable silence.

At that
moment, she didn’t care why he had come after her. He was there,
and she wanted to savour every moment she had with him so that she
could take her memories with her when she left.

“
I promise you, Tilly, that when you leave here, you are going
to be a damned sight better off than when you arrived,” he growled
in a voice that was suddenly hoarse with emotion.

“
I think I will be better off when I leave Tooting Mallow.
It’s a horrible place to be.”

Harry
chuckled. “You too?”

“
You don’t like it here either?”

“
I hate it,” he confided wryly.

He
thought about the huge mansion that awaited them in Cumbria, and
wondered if she had ever been to the county before. Somehow, given
her life in service, he doubted it. It was a pleasing to know that
he would be the one who would get to show her.

Tilly
would have been more than happy to remain wrapped in his arms all
night. She was so blessedly warm, and felt safe, protected, and a
little bit loved. It was a heady combination that was difficult to
break free from. Unfortunately, while her body was warm and
relaxed, her toes frozen on the cold, stone floor. When she
couldn’t stand the discomfort a moment longer she reluctantly eased
back from his hold.

“
Trust me, Tilly. I promise I won’t let you down,” he
whispered.

She
nodded. Their eyes met. Her heart launched into her throat. Her
breath held suspended in her chest as she watched his head lower
slowly toward hers.

His eyes
glinted intently in the candlelight, but she could see nothing
except tenderness in his steady gaze. He seemed to be assessing
her; looking for something only she had no idea what it was. He
must have seen what he wanted to see because, after a brief
moment’s pause, he slowly closed the rest of the distance between
them.

The
first brush of his lips blazed a trail of white hot sensation
across her lips that branded her to her very soul. Her soft gasp
was immediately captured by the much firmer pressure of his lips as
they settled fully upon hers. She immediately leaned against him as
though silently asking for more, and he was confident that she
wasn’t frightened by what they were sharing. He deepened the kiss
as he drew her more firmly into his arms. The feel of her delicate
curves against him masculine hardness made him groan, and he
allowed himself the brief luxury of being able to kiss her the way
he had really wanted to ever since he had seen her on the hall
floor of the poor house.

Harry
felt his control start to waiver and knew that this was neither the
time, nor the place for them to pursue where this kiss would take
them. At some point they would, but she had been through too much
of an ordeal for him to rush her into any decisions that she wasn’t
ready for. Still, his body was painfully hard when he forced
himself to lift his head and look down into her limpid gaze. She
felt so indescribably right in his arms that he could have remained
where they were all night and he would have no regrets. As it was,
he didn’t want to scare her by taking things too far, too quickly,
and so reluctantly removed his arms and took a step
back.

He
brushed the back of one knuckle down her petal-soft cheek and
smiled gently at her.

“
Good night, Tilly,” he whispered.

Tilly
stared at him nonplussed. Had she done something wrong? What had
happened to bring about such a swift change in him? What had gone
wrong?

She
opened her mouth to ask him only to close it again with a snap.
What could she say? Why did you stop kissing me, and turning my
world on its head? Do it again?

He
didn’t look angry. His eyes were soft and gentle as he waited for
her to leave.

“
It’s too soon, darling,” Harry whispered. “One day, we will
explore where this will take us. We just can’t at the
minute.”

Her eyes
grew round and, for a moment she wondered if she had actually
voiced her disappointment aloud.

He
smiled at her, but didn’t quite know how to explain that he too was
disappointed and wanted to carry on. However, he was only one man
fighting a rising tide of desire that he wasn’t entirely sure he
could control. He had never felt this way before, and it unnerved
him greatly.

“
I am sorry if I frightened you,” he murmured.

“
You didn’t,” she assured him.

Something that had previously been closed off; guarded, and
kept hidden, suddenly broke free and began to unfurl deep within
her. She hugged the precious feelings the last few moments had
created within her, close to heart and turned toward the door with
a gentle sigh.

“
Good night, Harry” she whispered dreamily.

“
Goodnight darling,” he replied.

The
huskiness in his tender words replayed over and over in her mind as
she quietly made her way back to bed. When she settled down amongst
the sheets, she was still smiling, and fell into a contented sleep
within seconds.

Harry
watched the door close behind her and puffed out a sigh. He
actually leaned toward the door to go after her. It felt as though
his body was willing him to go and finish what they had started,
and it took every ounce of self-control he possessed to remain
where he was. It was ridiculous really given that he had known her
less than a day, but time didn’t seem all that important with
Tilly.

As far
as he was concerned now, that kiss had confirmed one fact that was
very important to both of them: Tilly belonged with him.

CHAPTER
TWELVE

Tilly
pegged the last of the sheets onto the washing line and took
several steps back so she could study the morning’s work. She
sighed in satisfaction at the sight of the long washing line full
of crisp white sheets that gleamed in the morning sunshine. It had
been a busy morning. She had worked with Zack and, together, they
had cleaned and scrubbed the upper floor of the Rectory until it
sparkled. The scent of beeswax and lemons hung now in the air
throughout the house, along with soap and the delicious aroma of
the freshly baked cakes Suzanna had made earlier.

The
contentment Harry’s kiss had brought her last night seemed to have
remained with her because, when she got up this morning, she was
still smiling. What was there about the day not to like? Harry was
wonderful. The sun was out and the birds were singing. Harry was
charming. The scent of lavender in the pot beside the door teased
the air with its heavenly scent. Harry liked her.

She drew
in a deep breath and took a moment to savour the ambience of her
surroundings. Setting all thoughts of Harry aside for a moment, but
only for a moment, she tried to pin-point what had actually made
her so happy. Was it purely down to Harry’s kiss? Or was it because
it was just so wonderful to be back outside again, and away from
the awful building across the valley?

“
Penny for them,” Harry murmured quietly, and tugged the
washing line down so that he could look over it at her.

“
Good morning,” she murmured as she studied his beautiful
emerald eyes, which twinkled merrily at her.

“
How has everything been here?” he asked as he glanced down
the heavily laden washing line.

“
Fine. All of the rooms upstairs have been scrubbed and
polished now, so are less likely to give you a sneezing fit if you
disturb anything. Suzanna has done some baking, and Zack has helped
your friend, Barnaby, put the housekeeper’s quarters back together
again. He is moving in there apparently, Barnaby, and your other
friend, Marcus, is going to use what was the housekeeper’s sitting
room as his bedroom. They don’t want to wake anyone as they come
and go, apparently,” she added a little ruefully.

Aware
that he was still staring at her, she looked at him, and tried not
to squirm when he immediately flashed her winning smile.

“
How are you, Tilly? You look a little more rested today.” He
lowered his voice to an intimate whisper deliberately to see what
she would do.

The
sound of his husky growl was enough to make her shiver with
awareness and she blushed prettily, which made him smile even more.
It was lovely to be able to tease her gently and receive such an
uninhibited response that was nothing short of pure
honesty.

“
I feel considerably stronger, thank you. If you want to take
a look inside, I am sure that you will be pleased with the changes
we have made.” She waved a hand toward the house but he made no
attempt to move.

Harry’s
lips quirked ruefully and he studied her carefully for a moment. He
wanted to remind her that the house wasn’t his, and there really
was no job for her to prove her worthiness for. However, from the
look of the shadows in her eyes, he suspected that she already
knew. Still, if keeping herself busy helped her to cope with her
new life then who was he to argue?

“
Let’s go and take a look, shall we?” He stood back to allow
her into the kitchen first, and bit back a curse at the sudden
sensual jolt of awareness that shot through him when her shoulder
accidentally brushed his chest as she passed him. He felt as though
his body had been slashed with a thousand knives, and almost
groaned when his immediately began to respond to her
nearness.

Thankfully, he was able to focus his attention on the almost
magical transformation that had taken place while he had been gone.
The scent of lemons and something that was quintessentially Tilly
teased his senses as soon as he stepped through the door and took a
good look around.