Shattered Dreams (18 page)

“
Emma, they always take
pictures of each child’s advancement and they’ll provide you with
one sometime next week. I also got it on video if you would like a
copy,” Alec says, holding up his cell phone. 

I wipe the tears from my eyes and look up at
Alec. He is standing tall beside me, waving his very large phone in
his hands, smiling. Without thinking I jump up and hug him. “Thank
you, thank you so much.”  

He hugs me back and laughs. “Phone
number?” 

“
I’m sorry,
what?” 

“
Phone number. If you want a
copy of the video, I need your phone number.” 

“
Oh, right. I’m sorry.” I
give him my number and we return to finish
class.  

After class we call Brice to inform him of
James’ advancement and he wants to celebrate with us. Brooke, me,
and the boys meet Brice at Monte’s Pizzeria and we all celebrate
James’ advancement with pizza and ice cream sundaes for
everyone.  

Later that night I lie in bed replaying the
video of James. My face hurts from the smile that is plastered to
it since his small advancement ceremony. I watch and re-watch the
video of James receiving a new belt. I forward it to both sets of
grandparents and to Brooke and Brice.  

My phone chirps that I have a text. Assuming
it’s from Brooke, I read it without looking at the
name.  

Unknown number: Did you
receive the video all right?
 

Emma:
Alec?
 

Unknown number: I’m sorry.
Yes, Emma, it’s Alec. I just wanted to make sure you received the
video of James all right. If not, I can resend it. We don’t always
have great service in the training rooms.
 

Emma: I got it and have
already sent it to everyone I know. Thank you so much for recording
that and sending it to me. I am so grateful you did
that.
 

Alec: You’re welcome. I’m
just glad you received it. I didn’t wake you, did
I?
 

Emma: No, we just got
settled down. We had to go out and celebrate when we
left.
 

Alec: Good, I was afraid it
was too late to text you, but I wanted to make sure you received
it. Good night, Emma, and I’ll see you in class on
Tuesday.
 

Emma: Thank you again and
good night.
 

I lie in bed and smile. I was smiling before
Alec called, but this smile feels different. That feeling low in my
belly is back as I think about Alec. I stare at my phone and decide
to save his number to my contacts. Who knows, I may need it one
day. 

I check the mail after work and am a bit
surprised to see a wedding invitation from Angel and
Mason. 

ANGELICA HOPE RAMOS PEREZ

AND

DR. MASON ALEXANDER MYLES

INVITE YOU TO JOIN THEM

IN THE CELEBRATION

OF THEIR MARRIAGE

ON SATURDAY, THE THIRTY-FIRST DAY OF
DECEMBER

AT

SIX THIRTY IN THE EVENING

RECEPTION FOLLOWING CEREMONY

I reread the very elegant card and run my
fingers gently over the embossed lettering.  

My mind automatically drifts back to my own
wedding day. Max standing at the church altar in his all-black
tuxedo, smiling his all-American smile. I remember dad walking me
down the aisle, my sweaty palms, fast heartbeat, and shortness of
breath. I remember dad’s pep talk reminding me that I am marrying
my best friend and I have no reason to be nervous about that. I
remember Max waiting patiently for me to join him at the
altar.  

“
Momma, ready to get the
Christmas tree?” James asks, excitedly. 

I look down at my precious baby boy. “I am,
are you sure you want a live tree this year?” 

“
Yep, and I have the perfect
place to put it.”  

“
You do?” I ask, kneeling
down closer to him. “And where would this perfect place
be?” 

“
Right beside the fireplace,
next to daddy’s special things.” 

My nose begins to tingle and my eyes get
misty. “James, I do believe that is the perfect spot for our
Christmas tree.” 

After deciding on the perfect tree, we go
home and set it in the tree stand. Dad, Danny, and Brice offered to
come over and help us, but this is something I wanted James and me
to do together. I make some hot chocolate and put Christmas music
in the C.D. player. James and I bought some new Christmas
ornaments, but I also find a box of our old decorations in the
garage that we’ll use. 

Once the lights and decorations are on the
tree, I start a fire in the wood-burning fireplace, light some
cranberry-scented candles, and stand back to admire our perfect
tree.  

“
Momma, it’s
perfect.” 

“
Yes, James. I believe it
is.” 

Alec

I lie in bed and decide to text Emma to make
sure she received the video of James. The look on her face when he
advanced was priceless. She was one proud momma. I think about
Raelynn, and James is very blessed to have a mother who loves him
so much.  

I hold my phone in front of
me and stare at it before deciding to save Emma’s number in my
contacts. I may never get another chance to get it from her again.
One day I may decide to use it again.
Does
this make me a creep
? I wonder.
Probably. 
 

Raelynn and I decide we need a new Christmas
tree. I talk her out of a real one — bribed her more like it with a
Batman costume. We decide a tall thin one would be a nice change
from the short fat one her mother liked. Raelynn likes the tree to
be in front of the bay window so people can see it when they drive
by.  

We stick with the
traditional red and white decorations, bulbs, and clear Christmas
lights. Once we are finished and happy with the tree, Raelynn gets
her bath and we sit in our Christmas pajamas and watch
Polar Express
. Rae has a
snowman mug of hot chocolate, and I have a beer in a frozen
mug.  

“
Daddy, that’s not a
Christmas mug,” Rae says, looking over at me from under her
blanket. 

I look at her snowman mug and then mine. I
use a Sharpie to draw a picture of a snowman on my frosted mug and
show it to her. “Now it is.” I laugh. 

“
Daddy,” she giggles,
“you’re silly.” 

After the movie I pick her up from the couch
and carry her to bed. I tuck her in and pull the covers up to her
chin the way she likes them. Once she is tucked into bed, I have
another beer and pick up the tinsel that is all over the family
room floor, all over the couch and down the hallway floor. I grab
the stack of mail sitting on the kitchen bar and begin opening it.
I am surprised to see a wedding invitation from Mason and
Angel. 

Wow, I didn’t see that coming. I was Angel’s
doctor in the hospital after her accident and I knew Mason seemed
to care for her, but wow, a wedding? Good for him and her. I finish
my beer and head to bed. I have another long day at work
tomorrow.  

At work the next day, I call Mom and Dad on
my break to check in on Rae. I speak to her briefly and remind her
to brush her teeth before bed. I also remind her to say her prayers
before bedtime.  

I walk out of the break room and see a petite
blond crying in the hallway alone. I walk up to her and I am
surprised to see it’s Emma. “Emma, is everything all
right?” 

“
It’s James, he got so sick
today and I couldn’t get him to stop throwing up. Please help him,”
she begs. 

“
Where is
he?” 

“
He’s in the examining room;
they asked me to wait out here,” she says, crying. Her face is red
and her mascara is running. “I can hear him crying, please help
him.” 

“
Wait here, all
right?” 

She nods and cries into a
Kleenex.  

I walk into the room and close the door
behind me so Emma can’t hear James crying. Two nurses are with him.
One is holding the emesis basin to his mouth for him to throw up in
and the other nurse is getting his vital signs. I walk over to him
so he can see me. I nod to the nurse and take the emesis basin from
her. I sit beside James, holding the basin to his mouth. “Hi,
James, I hear you are sick today.” 

“
I don’t feel
good.” 

“
Can you tell me where it
hurts?” 

He points to his head and to his belly. I
assess him and get the vitals from the nurses in the room. He is
running a fever and he is becoming dehydrated. “Here, let’s get you
into a hospital gown,” I say to him, and then tell the nurse, “Can
you please get his mother? She standing in the hallway.” I say to
James and the other nurse. I lay the full emesis basin on the stand
and help a weak James out of his clothing and into a hospital
gown. 

I hear Emma crying behind me. “Here, Emma,
hold this,” I say giving her a new basin to hold for James. I have
learned that people feel better when they feel like they are doing
something to help. “Emma?” I say so she focuses on me and not on
James. 

She reluctantly looks up at me. “We are going
to give him something to stop the throwing up, then we are going to
start an IV of fluids and some antibiotics. Does he have any
allergies to any medications?” 

“
No, not that I know
of.” 

“
Good, we will also draw
some blood and run some tests. We’ll do that last. The shot of
Phenergan we will give him will help with him throwing up and it
will also make him sleepy. Then we’ll do the IV of fluids and draw
some blood for labs. He also has a fever so we’ll get him something
for that as well.” 

She only nods and rubs James’ hair. 

“
Did you call Brooke or your
parents?” 

“
No, I don’t want to worry
them.” She sniffles. 

“
Ok, I have to run to the
nurses’ station for a minute. The nurses will be in to give him a
shot and he should start feeling better soon.” 

She nods but doesn’t look at me. She leans
over and rests her head next to James’ arm. I slowly walk out of
the room and quickly do my notation and give strict instructions to
Nurse Jones and Nurse Wood on the orders I want for the meds, IV,
and the labs. If I can make it more comfortable for him, I
will. 

Once the meds have been given and he stops
throwing up and his fever comes down, James is finally able to
sleep. I notify the pediatric floor there will be an admittance.
“Emma?” 

She looks up at me with a weak smile. “Thank
you. I don’t know what I would have done, if something happened to
him.” 

I return her sad smile and sit on the stool
on the other side of the bed. “He’s doing a lot better, but I want
to keep him overnight for observation.” 

“
I can’t leave
him.” 

“
I understand. The rooms all
have a hard and uncomfortable recliner for parents to sleep
on.” 

She laughs quietly while holding James’ hand
with the IV in it. “That’s nice of them,” she says
softly. 

“
They do go that extra
mile.” I smile. “They will be moving him up shortly. His labs came
back and everything looks good. He has the flu and in a few days,
he will be back to normal. They’ll continue to run the IV fluids
until tomorrow, assuming he can hold food down. He should be fine
to go home tomorrow.” 

“
Thank you so much for
everything. He is my world and I have no idea what I would do
without him.” 

“
You’re welcome. I think you
should call your family.” 

“
I will, thank
you.” 

Once they move James upstairs to the peds
unit, I give report to the oncoming shift and say my goodbyes to
the staff. I head to my parents’ house to get Raelynn. I kiss and
hug her a little longer before tucking her in bed.  

“
Daddy, you’re squeezing
me,” she says, giggling. 

“
It’s ’cause I love you
bunches and bunches.” 

“
I love you, too. Good
night, Daddy.” 

“
Sweet dreams, Rae. See you
in the morning.” 

Emma

I text mom, dad, Brooke, Cheryl, and Danny to
let them know that James is in the hospital with the flu and that
he is fine, but they want to keep him and monitor him for 24-48
hours. I don’t add he has an IV or was dehydrated; I don’t want to
worry anyone.

I make a bed in the hard and uncomfortable
recliner that is in James’ room. He has been sleeping peacefully
ever since they medicated him. The nurse comes in and medicates him
every four hours. I don’t sleep but just lie there praying that God
heals him quickly.

A knock sounds at the door and in walks
Brooke, mom, dad, Cheryl, and Danny. I smile and look behind them
for Brice.

“
Someone had to watch the
kids,” Brooke whispers.

I smile and nod. “I told you guys not to
come,” I also whisper. Mom and Cheryl are already standing at
James’ bed. They are each holding one of his small hands in theirs.
I watch as they carefully touch him. I blink away the tears that
threaten to fall. The concern and love they have for him is
amazing. Max once told me the more people who love him, the better
off he’ll be. I believed that then and I still believe that
today.

“
Oh, Em,” Cheryl cries. “I
didn’t expect to see him this sick.”

I walk over to her and hug her. “He is
finally able to rest, so I know he is already getting better. He
will probably be able to come home tomorrow.”