She (35 page)

Logan and I take a seat and watch as he tries to keep his ‘audience’ engaged, but tonight he’s not having much luck. Like a flailing street entertainer, people begin moving away, breaking off into their own smaller, private conversations and Jerry is left with only a few of his close friends around him. I recognise them all, though I like none of them. Rather like Amber and Seamus being
my
friends, Jerry also had his own clique, of which I was not a part of.
Fine by me
!

His friends are loud and classless, and over the years each of them has hit on me, not for any reason other than their pleasure at watching me squirm. Jerry never did anything about it.
They’re just having a laugh
, he used to say, making out like I was too uptight to get the joke. I was never fond of having the whole lot of them in our home at one time. Now I can admit to myself what I never could then: that they made me feel unsafe, vulnerable, and wholly disrespected as a woman. All things that Logan would
never
do.

Knowing that most of Jerry’s friends do not work in construction, suspicion strikes me: why are they here? Did Jerry feel he needed moral support to face Logan and I? Or are they here as some sort of muscle back up? Is he hoping to do to Logan what Amelie Clemence’s husband did to Buddy? I immediately squash that notion; there will be no brawls tonight!

As Jerry’s false-exuberance calms, I notice several people who left his company throwing disapproving looks at him over their shoulders. This startles me. I have never noticed other’s disdain towards him before now, having always been dutifully by his side at previous events like this. While I was blind in the past, now I can see clearly that he’s not liked by the majority of the room.

“Have people always responded to him like that?” I ask Logan.

He nods. “Always.”

“Huh…I had no idea.” A sudden horrid thought occurs to me:
did people look at me with such disdain too
? I blanch at the idea. Hurriedly, I enquire, “Did they respond to
me
like that?”

“I’ve no idea,” Logan tells me. “At events or parties whenever you left Jerry’s side my eyes naturally followed you; I didn’t see anyone else's response,” he confesses. “But I doubt anyone could look at you with such contempt.” Putting my mind at ease, he continues, “You’ve seen tonight how people have been with you: they’re interested and engaged. Their pleasure in talking to you is sincere, I’m sure.”

I nod. He’s right. I’m usually good at gauging people’s reactions, and tonight’s gone brilliantly! I shouldn’t doubt myself.
I look away from Jerry and his posse, though again, deep down, I feel that stab of anger for staying with him for so long.
Damn habits
!

But as my eyes rest on Logan, a smile automatically overcoming my face, I am reminded wonderfully of something that I did
right
: accepting his lunch invitation. My anger abates, and all of a sudden I am in a rather grateful mood.

Logan, however, can’t shake his irritation. “I really
don’t
like him,” he blurts out, staring at Jerry scornfully.

“Neither do I,” I tell him, crossing my legs tightly, ignoring my building need to pee.

“I don’t like what he does to me,” Logan grimaces, clearly feeling uncomfortable.

“What does he
do
to you?” I ask cautiously.

Logan looks away from Jerry and instead focusses his eyes on me; they soften and he relaxes a little. He sighs and reveals, “I’m not used to feeling so overprotective of someone.”

Of who
, I think. Duh, Gemima,
you
! “Oh…” I breathe.

“It’s not normal!” he blurts out. “I feel like a fucking Neanderthal!”

“My woman, no touch,” I say in a deep, gruff voice.

Logan can’t help but laugh at me. “Something like that,” he admits with a wry smile. “
Argh
, I’m uncouth!”

I widen my eyes at him again. “Logan, the fact that you just used the word ‘uncouth’ proves that you’re
not
uncouth,” I grin. I wriggle uncomfortably, desperate for the toilet. “We can go if you—” I begin.

“No, we should stay,” he says immediately; he doesn’t want his new emotions to get the better of him.

Shit
, I think. I
need
to pee, and I
don’t
want to go in this building…in
those
bathrooms!

“I’m being stupid,” Logan thinks. “We’ll stay,” he nods. “If you want to?” he adds.

I shrug and he notices my strange, squirmy movements.

“Are you dancing in your chair?” he smiles at me.

“No, I need the toilet,” I say quietly.

“Oh… Well, the bathrooms are just outside in the hallway,” Logan informs me.

“Yes, I know where they are,” I respond quickly.
Too
quickly.

Logan’s eyes dart wide as he realises that I’m purposefully avoiding them. His tension about Jerry evaporates as he focusses wholly on me; I’ve distracted him. “We can go,” he changes his mind for me.

I nod, gratefully.

We say our goodbyes to everyone around the room,
almost
everyone, and then we leave, lingering in the hallway, waiting for the world’s slowest elevator to arrive.

“I’d say our first outing as a couple has been pretty damn close to perfection,” I smile at him.

He smiles back and kisses me in response, agreeing with me. Now in the privacy of the hallway, our kiss deepens; we can properly make out here, the way we like to. Desire surges within me, and I’m not alone. Logan’s hands slide down my back and rest on my backside, and I long to be in the privacy of our hotel room,
now
!

Logan squeezes my backside, and suddenly I feel breathless, needing him, wanting him inside of me. Erotic charges course through me and I moan softly into his mouth. He responds by gripping me firmer and holding me tightly against his crotch, letting me feel the affect that I have on him; he’s hard and pushing into me. I moan again.

“Where is this fucking elevator?” I whisper into his mouth.

He smiles, his eyes full of love and longing for me. We start kissing again, clearly having a bit of time while we wait, and slowly we move towards the edge of the hallway, me pulling Logan and him pushing me, both of us eager to find the firmness of a wall. We find it…for all of two seconds! What we actually press ourselves up against is a door,
the
door, to
the
bathroom.

We fall through, breaking apart and stumbling, but both of us managing to stay on our feet. Just! I catch Logan’s startled expression and abruptly I burst into laughter and Logan does the same. Our sensual, desire-filled bubble bursts and we’re immerse instead in a feeling of playfulness. It’s in this state, flushed from out make-out session and laughing because of our accident, that Jerry happens into the hallway and sees us. The sight of us makes him stop dead in his tracks, and I’m about to find out just how drastically people can jump to conclusions.

“That’s very childish, Gem,” he says quietly, his voice full of hatred.

What is
, I wonder.
Us laughing
? And then it hits me, and I realise that Jerry sees our scene quite differently. He sees us coming out of the offending bathroom; he assumes we’re flushed because we’ve just had sex; and he surmises that we’re laughing in a self-satisfactory, getting-even kind of way. Suddenly his words make sense.

Just like me, Logan understands how things have been misconstrued, and says, “It’s none of your fucking business.”

“It
is
my business when you’re fucking
my
girlfriend in a public bathroom,” his voice gets louder with each word.

I cringe at him. “I’m
not
your girlfriend!” I say clearly.

“But you could be,” he states. Holding his hand out in offering to me, Jerry proclaims, “Come home with me, baby. I know you want to.”

Oh. My. God! He
cannot
be serious!

“I
don’t
want to!” I shout. “You cheated on me, Jerry, I dumped you, and I moved on,” I remind him of the facts. “You
really
need to accept that!”

“You moved on?” Jerry asks. “With
this
fucker?” He points at Logan.

“That’s a kind appraisal,” Logan says sarcastically.

“You had nothing but admiration for him a few months ago,” I remind Jerry of his man-crush, and I take pleasure in watching his face flush. I’ve embarrassed him.
Good
!

Jerry scowls at me. “I can’t believe you, Gem! I can’t believe you got him to fire me!”

Uh,
what
?

“That’s
so
low,” Jerry rambles on, evidently not seeing from my shocked face that I’ve no idea what he’s accusing me of. “What did it take?” he rounds on Logan. “
Huh
? Did she suck you off and then you agreed to let me go?”

Urgh
!

“Watch. Your. Mouth,” Logan says, his voice low and dangerously slow.

“I didn’t get you fired!” I tell Jerry.

“Yeah, right!” he laughs coldly. “And I suppose you’re also going to try to pretend that Leary didn’t get you a new job by chatting up his pal, Amelie Clemence?”

I stare at him in disbelief.
Seriously
, Jerry?

“
No
!” Logan and I shout together.

Suddenly Logan starts laughing, overcome by the absurdity of Jerry’s words, and I’m tempted to laugh too. This is ridiculous! Talk about being a jealous-ex! It’s clear that since speaking to Seamus last Saturday and learning about Logan and I, Jerry has fabricated his own story about how and why we got together.

“
I’d like nothing more than to wipe that smug smile off your face,” he says to Logan, his voice full of loathing. It feels strange and disconcerting to hear someone speak to Logan that way.

“What you would like to do and what you are capable of are two very different things,” Logan tells him cooly.

Jerry studies him. “You don’t think I can take you?” he asks boldly.

His words are too much for me; I laugh, hysterically. Being familiar with both of their bodies, I
know
Jerry could not ‘take’ Logan.

“No,” Logan says calmly. “I don’t think you could take me.” His obvious confidence, which appeals to me, infuriates Jerry even more.

My laughter dies quickly. I’m not willing to let them find out who’s telling the truth. Logan’s just had surgery, he
can’t
be getting into a brawl!
The elevator has come and gone during our confrontation and I don’t have the patience, or the time, to wait for it again.
I take Logan’s hand and head for the stairwell, but he’s not moving.

“She’s
using
you, Leary!” Jerry spits.

Uh… I turn back to face Jerry. “
Excuse
me?” I ask, despite myself.

“Don’t play dumb with me, you sneaky bitch,” he hisses, as Logan’s hand releases mine and forms itself into a fist. “It’s
so
obvious,” Jerry says to me. “I make
one
little mistake and you run off with
him
, and the next thing you know, you have a brilliant new job and I don’t have
any
jobs! Are you going to try and palm that off as a coincidence?”

My mind is reeling.
Bitch
?
Little
mistake? Coincidences?

“It’s not a coincidence,” Logan says sternly.

“Thank you! Finally, some honesty,” Jerry exclaims.

“You mistake my meaning. It’s not a coincidence that I fired you, Jerry. I did so
before
Gemima and I got together. I did so because you’re insufferable, and you’re not good enough at your job to make it worth putting up with,” Logan tells him. “I suspect that’s why you’re having difficulty finding other employers.”

I can see Jerry mustering every ounce of his self control to ignore Logan’s stinging words. Instead he addresses me. “You’ve changed, Gem,” he says, trying desperately to get a rise out of me.

“Thank fuck I changed,” I say sincerely. “I’m bored of trying to make this prick see sense. Can we go, please?” I ask Logan.

“Yes, let’s,” Logan says.

But Jerry hasn’t finished. “The girl I knew and loved would never have plotted revenge like you have,” he tells me. “The girl I knew would never have sunk so low as to fuck some guy just to get even.”

My temper rises. Logan’s right: he is
insufferable
! And obtuse! And delusional!
How
can he think that about me? I’m not the one who cheated!

I force myself to take deep, calming breaths before I slap him stupid. “You’re insane, Jerry, but I’m
so
glad that you cheated on me the last time we were in this building. I’m
so
glad to be rid of you,” I say, meaning every word.

He knows my simple words are true. And I know, too late, that my simple words have affected him more than anything else that’s passed between us.