She Who Dares (19 page)

‘Then what can I do?’

‘Make love to me,’ she said softly. ‘And don’t ever stop.’

‘Now that I can do.’ They stumbled into the suite together, her hands frantic under his t-shirt, his mouth finding hers. He held fast and let himself taste her, savouring her sweetness, stopping only to let her undress him. There was something so intimate about it, something caring, as if each touch meant more than another step towards sex. Her hair fell soft against the back of his hands as he touched her face and for the first time in his life, Sebastian felt connected. He felt like he was worth something. Something more than wins and trophies and sponsorship deals.

His t-shirt went, his jeans, his socks and Converse, until he stood in front of her wearing nothing but his boxers and a smile. There was no way to hide how much he wanted her. She lowered herself slowly to her knees, tucked her fingers under the elastic of his boxers and pulled it forward then down. His penis twitched, his stomach tight. ‘Princess,’ he said quietly as she knelt back and stared at him. ‘Do you know what you do to me?’

‘Yes.’

There was no hesitation, though her words came out choked and her cheeks were pink. Her warm breath played against his skin, and Sebastian couldn’t stop himself from trembling. ‘Do you know how beautiful you are?’

‘I…I feel like I am. When I’m with you.’

It wasn’t enough. He needed her to believe it. He needed to show her. Sebastian settled one hand on the side of her head, wrapped the other firmly around the base of his erection. ‘Taste me,’ he whispered. ‘Please.’ He leaned forward, touched the wet tip of his penis against her tongue and saw her eyes go wide as she got her first taste of him. Her fingers settled against his thighs as she moved closer, greedy for more, and the hot slip of her mouth over him nearly undid him. Nearly.

But there was too much at stake here to let go just yet. ‘No,’ he said. ‘Keep still.’

She flicked her eyes up to meet his, so dark, so full of fire, and he fell soul deep into them. There was no turning back now. She had him all the way. He slid his fingers into the soft silk of her hair, and slowly moved his hips. She sucked. Gently.

He moved a little faster.

She sucked harder.

‘You’re so beautiful,’ he told her, as his eyes drifted closed. Other women had done this to him, of course they had, greedy, skilled women, but it had never been like this. He’d never been allowed such complete control before, witnessed such complete and utter trust. Her confidence in him was total.

He felt his groin tighten, his erection grow thicker, and couldn’t control his thrusts. Her fingers dug into his thighs and he moved back, terrified he’d hurt her.

‘No,’ she said, and then her hot, greedy mouth was on him, sucking from base to tip, over and over. She added a hand and Sebastian hit his limit. The words
I love you
exploded in his head as he exploded in her mouth. He pulled her to her feet and kissed her deeply, desperately, then stripped her and threw her on the bed. He made her come with his hands and his mouth, stroked her scars and refused to be afraid. He took everything her body could give him, and gave her everything of him in return.

But he still couldn’t say the words out loud. He needed her to love him back, needed it too badly. And if Sebastian knew anything about life, it was that people always loved him when he won. Tomorrow, he decided. He’d tell her tomorrow. When he stood on the winner’s podium after the race.

Nic woke up early the next morning, sex sore and hungry. She left Sebastian sleeping under the ugly black sheets which made him look like a male model in a perfume advert, all dark hair and lean muscle and attitude.

She was seriously considering buying a set when she got home. And there would be more of this when they got home. They’d talked about it the night before, about how he could fit in trips to Lostwithiel and she could fly out to Monaco or meet him at races. They’d be together, not quite the average boyfriend and girlfriend — how could they be? But together. And that was all that mattered.

Nic showered quickly, pulled on a black towelling robe and phoned down for room service. She didn’t know what Sebastian ate before he raced, so she ordered everything she could think of. Eggs. Toast. Pain au Chocolat, fresh fruit and churros. Sparkling water and coffee and orange juice.

She was picking through the trolley, wondering what to have first when Sebastian wandered out of the bedroom, hair stuck up with sleep, skin creased, butt naked, some parts of him clearly more awake than others.

He let her have one cup of coffee before he tugged off her robe, bent her over the arm of the huge leather sofa and made fierce love to her. Then he wrapped the robe around her shoulders before feeding her crispy little bits of doughnut and fresh fruit and tempting her with rich hot chocolate, and she’d never felt more cared for or precious.

Or more loved. Was he in love with her? God, she hoped so because she was so madly in love with him she thought she might burst. All she had to do now was build up the confidence to tell him. Three little words. Not even long, difficult words with lots of syllables. Just three short, easy little words. As soon as the moment was right, she decided, she would tell him. He disappeared into the bedroom, and she heard the sound of the shower running, then he emerged five minutes later wearing boxers and a white t-shirt.

This was it. Nic pulled in a breath, steeled herself then stopped as he opened up his laptop and turned it on. More race prep, she realised. Not a good time for those three little words. Nic got to her feet, poured him a coffee, pressed a kiss into his hair. ‘You’re going to win,’ she said. ‘I know it.’

‘Yup,’ he said, flashing her that smile, that wicked smile that went right to her bones. ‘The guys have done a fantastic job with the car, and according to the team psychologist, I’m no longer the arrogant jerk I was when I crashed.’

‘I didn’t know you had a psychologist.’

‘All professional sportsmen do,’ he said. ‘Unfortunately ours is also my sister. Anyway, she’s not the reason I’m going to win today. You are.’

‘Me?’ Nic fiddled with the belt of her robe, and couldn’t hold in her smile.

‘Yup.’ He beckoned her closer, then pulled her onto his lap and pointed to the screen. ‘Give me your expert opinion on this.’

So she did. She assisted him with all his pre-race car checks, stuck to him like glue as they waited out their pre-race nerves in the holding area at the bottom of the mountain. She watched as Sebastian charmed TV crews, posed with photographers and joked with his mechanics. If he was nervous about his first race back on the circuit, the rest of the world wouldn’t see it, but she did. Oh, she did. It was there in every shove of a strong hand through dark hair that needed cutting. It was there in the flash of those bright green eyes every time he looked at her. As soon as he crossed the finish line, she would tell him how she felt. But not until then. It was taking every ounce of his concentration to act normal in front of all these people who didn’t know him at all, who thought he’d been totally unaffected by the crash.

And then his parents turned up. The likeness was obvious. He had his father’s height and build, his mother’s colouring. They were an attractive pair, she thought, reeking of money and self-satisfied arrogance. They gave her a cursory glance when Sebastian introduced her, polite yet without an ounce of interest. His father clapped him on the back. ‘Need a win today son,’ he said. ‘I’ve got a research scientist with me. Big racing fan. Would definitely help swing him in my direction if you put on a decent show.’

Nic almost fell over in shock. Their son had nearly killed himself, and they were pressuring him to win? She had to bite her tongue to stop herself from pointing it out.

‘I’ll see what I can do,’ Sebastian said shortly, before kissing his mother on the cheek. He didn’t watch as they walked away. ‘I’ll be back in a minute,’ he said to Nic, his cheeks stained dark with colour, his gaze not meeting hers. And then he turned and walked away. No, scratch that, he jogged, pulling off his baseball cap and disappearing through the back of the garage. The bottom fell out of her stomach. What had she missed? What the hell had just happened?

It took her a split second to decide to chase after him, but by the time she’d got through the garage and headed up the concrete stairs that led to the car park and the office block, he’d disappeared. Where would he go?

Nic searched left and right, sprinted the length of the car park, saw nothing but a lot of four-by-fours and trailers. Her heart pounded right up into her throat. Something was very, very wrong. She just knew it. Abandoning the car park, she headed for the offices.

It was the only place left he could be.

Nic crashed through the door and staggered to a halt at the end of the corridor.

And there he was.

Leaning on the wall next to a stranger. Nic saw a form fitting dress, expensive shoes and long, long blonde hair. One manicured hand snaked up to rest on Sebastian’s shoulder a split second before he glanced up and his gaze met Nic’s. He froze. She actually saw him do it, saw the moment that he realised he’d been caught.

Caught doing nothing, Nic tried to tell herself. She tried to rationalize it. But she couldn’t, not faced with stilettos and that perfect pale swing of hair, because deep down she’d always known that his preferences ran to feminine blondes.

Feminine blondes like Ella.

The woman turned, and Nic saw curious eyes in an expertly made up face. ‘Sebastian,’ the woman said, ‘want to introduce us?’

‘There’s no need,’ Nic said. She would not cry in front of him. Not again. She would not. Hiding her feelings wasn’t difficult. Years of practice saw to that. ‘I can see that you’re busy.’ But it couldn’t stop her from asking, ‘how could you?’

‘Princess, I…’

Nic held up her hand and stopped him, finding that she didn’t actually want to know. She’d trusted him with everything, had finally believed that she could be enough. She’d been wrong. Humiliation burned sick in her gut as her entire body turned to lead. It was a physical pain, like she’d just smacked a car into a lamppost at eighty miles an hour. It was all too familiar and all the more horrific for it. And suddenly she found that those three little words weren’t hard to say. They weren’t hard at all, because she wasn’t the Nic who stood on the sidelines and said nothing any more. ‘I love you,’ she told him, her voice steady despite the burn in her throat. ‘I love you so much. And I thought you felt something for me too, which I guess makes me a complete fool.’

Then her courage ran out. Her elbow caught the edge of the doorframe as she walked out to the car park, pain screaming through her. Pain and panic. She needed to get away from here, get somewhere safe, somewhere she could hide.

Somewhere she could make herself feel better.

‘I take it that was your girlfriend?’ Morgan folded her arms and gave Sebastian a look that made him feel about three feet tall.

He nodded. His entire body felt like it was made out of concrete, as if he was stuck somewhere between waking and dreaming.
Nic loved him.
He hadn’t realised until now how much he’d needed to hear her say those words, how hard they would hit him. No-one had ever said them to him before. He felt shell-shocked.

Morgan turned and marched towards the door. She pulled it open. ‘Then why are you still here?’

‘That’s a bloody good question.’ And with that, he was out the door. Sunshine drenched the car park, bouncing off the bonnets of row after row of vehicles, but Sebastian ignored them. The thrum of multiple engines rumbled through the air, mixing with the burble of the crowd.

He spotted her about halfway along the car park, heading in the direction of the hotel. He broke into a run and sprinted after her but she quickly picked up speed. God, the woman could run. If he hadn’t been in such a rush he’d have admired the flow of her stride, the kick of those toned legs. Finally catching up with her, Sebastian grabbed her round the waist, pulled her hard against him and skidded them both to a halt.

Her fingers dug into his arm. ‘Get the hell off me.’

‘Nic, princess, calm down.’ He turned her in his arms. ‘Listen to me.’

‘What for? So you can tell me it was nothing?’

‘Yes. Exactly that.’

‘Then who the hell is she?’

‘She’s my sister.’

Her face creased in confused surprise, then flushed pink. ‘The psychologist.’

‘I needed to talk to her before I raced,’ Sebastian said. She felt warm against him, warm and so right. ‘She hates it when our parents turn up unannounced. I had to warn her.’

The roar of the crowd got louder. Another sound was added to it. The tannoy.

‘Tell me again,’ he told her, resting his forehead against hers. ‘Tell me that you love me.’

She blinked hard and fast, and for the first time he realised she was trying desperately hard not to cry. ‘I love you,’ she said finally. ‘I love you.’

There was a pause, a moment when everything stopped. The noise blared over the tannoy again, the call for all drivers to ready themselves for the race. He’d wanted to hear those words from her so desperately, needed to hear them, needed to believe them. He wanted to say them back to her. He just didn’t know how. He clung to the only thing he did know. That everyone loved him when he won.

‘I’ve got to go,’ he said. ‘That’s my call. You coming?’

She hesitated for a moment, then she slipped her hand in his, small and cold despite the warm air that billowed around them.

The roar of the engines, the smell of oil and hot metal and the tense excitement in the holding area should have been a dream come true, but Nic couldn’t feel it. She was too terrified to let herself feel anything. All those urges, the ones she thought she was past, clutched at her. The rush of jealous fear she’d felt when she’d seen Sebastian touching the beautiful blonde had gone and now she had to deal with the fallout.

She believed him when he said there was nothing. She knew there was nothing. She’d put two and two together and got sixty nine. All her fears had rushed in and she’d drowned in them. And then she’d told Sebastian that she was in love with him. Heat scorched her face as she thought of it and she loosened her hair, shaking it over her cheeks so no-one would see. Not that anyone was looking — they were all glued to the TV screens mounted in the open sides of the flashy team trailers, watching every twist and turn, waiting with baited breath to see how good a time Sebastian could put in. Staying here a moment longer was too difficult, too much. Breathing was damn near impossible. She needed space, needed air. Maybe the hotel would give her what she needed.