Shell House (25 page)

       
A sudden surge of rage overwhelmed him and he thrust himself from his bench and made his way home. He wanted some answers to why his daughter had gone missing with what it seemed to him to be little or no concern for her welfare. He also wanted to know how hard the police were working to find her. He needed to vent his anger somewhere and it felt comforting in a way; it was preferable to feeling helpless and ashamed. His hot-headedness was a small glimpse into how he’d been when he was younger, working as a Barrister, and it had always spurred him to fight for what he thought was right. He just wished he’d channelled that anger into supporting and fighting for his daughter when she’d needed him all those years ago. He certainly wasn’t going to make the same mistake again.

       
As he made his way up the track leading to his house he was disappointed to see that DS Delton had already gone.

       
He stormed in via the back door and hunted around for Jonathan, who he eventually found upstairs in Gabrielle’s room.

       
“What are you doing?”

       
Jonathan spun round from the boxes he was bent over, clearly startled by Harry’s sudden appearance. He frowned at his father’s accusatory tone and the change in his demeanour.

       
“DS Delton said it was important to look through Gabrielle’s things because it may shine some light on her whereabouts.” He said this pointedly, not wanting Harry to take the moral high ground with him again. “It’s a long shot but it’s worth a try.”

       
“Quite. I’m going to call the psychiatric hospital. I want to find out what happened. Why she was allowed to walk out without anyone noticing.”

       
Jonathan stood up from where he’d been crouching so he could look at his father properly. “Dad, just leave it will you; let the police deal with it. DS Delton has already been to see them and no one saw or can recall anything strange happening yesterday. Patients aren’t locked in, as you know. As long as they’ve served their twenty-eight day stint they can do as they please and Gabrielle had just completed hers. I’ve been through all this with DS Delton.”

       
“And what else are they doing about finding her?”

       
“He has assured me they are doing absolutely everything they can to find her.”

       
“Yes well, I know what these policemen are like and what they say and what they actually do are two very different things.”

       
“It’s not like that anymore, Dad. It’s not like it was when you dealt with the police at work. Gabrielle is being classed as a vulnerable adult and she’s under the Witness Protection Act because of her licence, which means they will definitely be doing everything they can to find her.”

       
“What, because they think she’ll re-offend?”

       
“They have to consider this, Dad. No one knows her like you or me. As far as they’re concerned she served a life sentence for murder. It doesn’t matter how long ago it was, she’s breached her license and they have to consider the implications of her state of mind. Why are you being so aggressive? It’s not helping the situation.” It was more a statement than a question; Jonathan wasn’t in the mood for his father’s temper. Harry fell silent as he went back to sorting through Gabrielle’s things.

       
It was like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water on a fire, you could almost hear the hiss and it caused Harry to calm somewhat.

       
“I’m sorry. I just feel so bloody helpless and I suppose I’m angry with myself.” Harry sat down on the bed. “It’s all too little to late.”

       
“What are you talking about?”

       
“I should have felt like this when she was little. Supported her and fought for her rights regardless of the consequences.”

       
Jonathan stacked up the notebooks he’d found onto one of the bedside tables and sat down opposite Harry.

       
“Dad, you’ve got to stop going over and over this and beating yourself up. What’s important is what you do from here on in.”

       
“I know but I feel wracked with guilt over it all.”

       
“But you must move on from it. You did what you did because you thought it was best at the time. You can’t change it. I know that sounds harsh but you can’t. All you can do is support her now. It’s no good getting angry with everyone who’s trying to help. Gabrielle has led a complex life and a lot of it we still don’t know about. No one knows how they would react in that situation until it happens to them; no one. Even Gabrielle accepts that.

      
“But I shouldn’t have felt like that about my daughter.”

       
“There’s no should or shouldn’t about it.” Jonathan sighed, he was trying to be sympathetic but he felt physically exhausted and emotionally drained and he didn’t want to rake over the past anymore. “I’m not going over all this again with you. You have to move on for Gabrielle’s sake. If you really want to help her then that’s what you’ll do. Now stop wallowing in your own self pity and do something constructive.”

       
Jonathan grabbed the notebooks from the bedside table and made his way downstairs leaving Harry with his thoughts.

       
Harry stayed where he was for a while feeling slightly indignant and then he realised he felt like that because Jonathan was right, he was wallowing in self pity. It was as though he’d been shaken really hard and some of his feelings had come out and sprinkled like snow around him. He mulled over what Jonathan had said, some of it felt uncomfortable as it settled but he soon realised he was right.

       
After a short time of formulating his thoughts he joined Jonathan downstairs. He found him in the sitting room at his desk reading Gabrielle’s notebooks.

       
Jonathan looked up at Harry as he shuffled across the room. “Dad, I’m sorry I spoke to you like that. It wasn’t helpful and who am I to say how you should be dealing with it all? I have no idea what you must be going through or have had to endure over the years and it was wrong of me.”

       
Harry moved slowly across the room and perched himself on the arm of the chair nearest to the desk.

       
“It needed to be said. I have been wallowing in self pity and it’s time I pulled myself together. I feel better actually, like I’ve been shaken out of it. You’re right, what we do from here on in is the most important thing now.”

       
“Well, I’m glad you’ve taken it that way.”

       
“Found anything of interest?” Harry nodded to the open notebook.

       
“Not as yet. I’m not sure we’re going to but I’d rather keep myself busy. You never know it might churn up some sort of clue to where she is.”

       
“Where on earth could she be, I just can’t understand it?” Harry shook his head and then a thought struck him. “What about that place she was going on about? The one she stayed in years ago; the secure unit. What the bloody hell was it called?”

       
“Hellesdown. I’ve already told DS Delton about that.”

       
“Oh.” Harry felt deflated. “Did he say anything else to you about the Tailbys?”

       
“Not really. Just that they’re examining a letter Mr Tailby had written which was found in their house. It appears to be slightly cryptic.”

       
“In what way?”

       
“Well, it doesn’t make sense. He says it could be taken one way or another. It’s not clear.”

       
Harry sighed. “You don’t think he hurt her do you?”

       
“In all honesty Dad, no I don’t. For a start how would he know where she was? And anyway DS Delton said they’d searched the area and there was no sign of any other bodies other than theirs.” Jonathan saw Harry flinch at his words and he wondered if he’d said too much. “Don’t panic, they’ll find her.”

       
“Hang on a minute. Weren’t they found at home?”

       
“No. Weren’t you here when DS Delton said? They were found in a clearing in the small wood at Wolverton by a dog walker.”

       
John’s threat floated through Harry’s mind bringing the nausea back into his stomach. “Are they absolutely sure they’ve searched the whole area?”

       
“Yes, Dad. It’s not a large place to search. What’s wrong?”

       
“When John threatened me that day he said we’d find Gabrielle hanging from a tree with a suicide note attached to her.”

       
Jonathan’s stomach turned over but he didn’t want to show his father any kind of reaction other than a calm one. “Did you tell DS Delton this when you spoke to him?” He held his breath hoping for the right answer.

       
Harry nodded. “And I also told the police officer who came to take my statement. It doesn’t mean he hasn’t left her somewhere else though.”

       
“Stop worrying. It’s all just a coincidence.  It just so happens that the two events occurred at almost the same time.”

        
They both stared at one another, the same thought running through both of them.

       
“No. She couldn’t...wouldn’t have?”

       
“What? Killed the Tailbys? No Dad.”

       
“How can you be so sure it’s a coincidence?”

       
“Look, in my experience it’s not uncommon for a mental health patient to go wandering and they’re usually found safe and well somewhere that’s familiar to them.”

       
“But she’s been missing over night.” Harry couldn’t help thinking about her suffering the elements and whether she’d survive them.

       
“She was getting better, Dad. I called the hospital every day remember, and they told us how she was progressing positively. She wasn’t in the state she was when she left here.” Jonathan didn’t know if this was entirely true but he was prepared to say anything to make his father feel better. “It’s very likely she booked herself into a hotel or B&B. The police may even find her at her old house or with one of her friends. I’m sure she’s fine, she probably just needs a little time away from everyone and that’s probably all it is. People often feel embarrassed or unsure of seeing family when they’ve been somewhere like that. She had come to the end of her twenty eight day stint and was getting ready to be discharged and that can leave some people feeling a bit detached from everything. They can feel like they’ve lost their dignity.”

       
Harry nodded, feeling slightly comforted and reassured. “I ought to be out there looking for her or doing something at least.”

        
Jonathan sighed. He was beginning to feel like he was on a perpetual loop repeating the same things over and over again. “Let the police do their job, Dad. If they’d wanted us to help with the search they would have said. They don’t need to be worrying about any extra missing persons, so just sit tight. She could turn up here any minute as I’m sure she will and you wouldn’t want to miss her, would you?”

       
“No, of course not. Will it help if I go through the stuff stored in the garage?”

       
“You can but I went through it all when I packed it up at the safe house and I have all her diaries and notebooks here which I think are the only things that might give us a clue.”

       
“Have you been through all the boxes you stored in her bedroom?”

       
“Yes, they’re all done. There really wasn’t much to go through so it didn’t take me long.”

       
“Why do you think John did what he did?” Harry suddenly changed the subject. His mind had been like an unsettled moth since he’d heard the news and he hadn’t dared allow it to land on what he’d been told; he was so shocked by it. It had all felt so surreal at the time and his first concerns had been Gabrielle. It was as though he was hearing it for the first time and it made him go cold.”

       
“Who knows, Dad? All in all they were a very strange couple. Maybe he thought Ellen was guilty, I don’t know. You have to remember he was an alcoholic and they come in all shapes and sizes, and there’s no telling what he was capable of or what went through his head. Anyway, we don’t know if he did anything yet.”

       
“Did he hang himself?”

       
“DS Delton couldn’t tell me how they were found.  They can’t leak details like that, certainly not before the pathologist’s done a report.”

       
“I think he did it because of Ellen. He told me that day on the bench he wouldn’t have her name dragged through the mud.”

       
“You didn’t tell me that. It sounds like a bit of an admission to me. Why would he automatically think that Ellen would be accused just because the police might discover Gabrielle was innocent?”