Shelter Me Home (13 page)

It wasn’t in her power to deny him. She was too far in, too far gone. If they were going to hell, well, they were going there thoroughly. “Don’t stop.”

His fingers slipped inside of her lacy panties and found her slick folds. Teasing, he withdrew and found her again until she begged shamelessly.

In a blinding moment of rapture, he plunged two long fingers into her and she cried out. How had she lived so long without his touch? Nothing in her life had even come close to this feeling. No act had been filled with more love and desire. Pressing his hips against her back, he rocked to the cadence of his touch, every stroke bringing them closer to release. His lips found the back of her neck and in the final moments, he bit her flesh as she cried out his name. The onslaught of pain in the poignant moment of utter pleasure was overwhelming and shudders wracked her body. She arched against him as Aanon groaned with his own release. Warmth trickled down her back.

Panting, he chuckled low against her ear as her body pulsed against his fingers, begging for him to stay buried inside of her. “Come here,” he murmured as he withdrew slowly.

His jacket made a soft bed on the forest floor, and hers a comforting blanket. He didn’t bother with his shirt, just lay down and drew her in close.

Lightly, she traced the curving tattoo that coiled down one shoulder. How many times had she imagined it since she’d seen the first hint of ink peeking from underneath his sweater at the gas station in Homer? Surely, none of her imaginings could ever come close to how seductive he looked in reality. His skin was smooth and belied the deep musculature etched beneath the surface, borne of the hard physical labor necessary to maintain his place among the predators.

His lips lingered on her forehead as she absorbed his warmth and his capable hand palmed the side of her stomach, as if he were protective of the tiny life that grew there.

A strong kick from her middle echoed through her, and Aanon frowned. He stilled until nary a muscle twitched. The second kick against his hand couldn’t be mistaken.

“Oh, my gosh,” she whispered. “Did you feel that?”

Aanon rolled her onto her back and pushed the jacket down, watched his hand with single minded concentration. Moments later, another kick. His stunning smile mirrored the elation she felt at having shared this experience with someone who mattered—with someone who appreciated the magic of the moment.

“Yeah,” he murmured, an absent grin lingering on his lips. “I felt it.” With more tenderness than anyone had ever shown her, he leaned down and brushed his lips against hers. The giant pine branches above them rustled in the deep evening light, and the breeze gathered dry leaves into swirls around them. Gazing into Aanon’s eyes, there on nature’s pillow, she’d never forget or take for granted this moment as long as she lived. It was perfect.

A half hour later, as Aanon drove the four-wheeler up the ramp and into the Chevy, she huddled into her jacked and smiled. He was strong and tender in turn—a man she could trust. She’d put her faith in the wrong kind of man before, and her bad decision caused her pain.

“What now?” she asked as he held the passenger door open for her.

He sighed and ran a hand down his face. After shutting the door, he rounded the truck, hopped in and turned the engine. “I don’t know. Nothing has changed with our situation, except that maybe we know more about what the other is feeling now. Erin still has leverage.” His warm hand slid over her thigh, and he gave her a serious look. “She’s cooking up revenge.”

“I know. It’ll be hard going back to ignoring each other, though. I feel…different about you.”

A slow and sexy smile took his face. “Me, too. What do you think we should do?”

“Until I figure out when and what I’m going to tell Miles, and you save up money for a lawyer, we have to at least appear indifferent to each other. At least anywhere Erin possibly has eyes.”

“It’s going to be a while on saving up. Like I told you, she has child support set so high, she’s getting everything from me right now. And as soon as the snow hits for winter, construction jobs will dry up. If we can keep the cattle fed this winter, and we don’t have to butcher any, selling the herd will get me closer. I just can’t do it right now when we’re going into winter and don’t know if we’ll need them.”

“I have five hundred and thirty dollars in my suitcase. We can add that to the savings.”

“Hell no are you helping me with this. It wouldn’t feel right.” He gestured to her stomach. “You have your own baby to save for. No. I have to do this on my own.”

“Okay. It’s just… I’d like to be able to hold your hand in public.”

He laced his fingers with hers and brought her knuckles up to his lips. “We will. Someday this will all be behind us, and we will. And we’ll never take it for granted because we know how hard things were in the beginning. We’re just going to have to work hard and be patient.”

“I don’t like feeling like I’m another man’s secret.”

His eyes swam with emotion. “I never want to make you feel like that. I’d be proud to have you on my arm. But my son—”

“I know.” And she did. Dodge was an amazing kid, and she’d never want to be the one to ruin Aanon’s chances to watch his boy grow up.

As the big house bumped into view, she squeezed his hand and enjoyed the last few moments of unencumbered affection.

With the palm of her hand resting on the sorest part of her lower back, Farrah stirred the bear stew in the iron skillet so it wouldn’t scorch on the bottom. She’d never had cause to actually cook bear before, but from the mouthwatering aroma that filled her small home, she’d been missing out on something delectable.

The steady rhythm of wood being chopped had calmed an hour before, and when she fed the cattle, Aanon had been working in the barn. He filled her head. Everywhere she wandered or worked, she looked for him. He’d offered her a wave and a smile this morning but had kept his distance. Who could blame him? She was a giant risk to the most important part of his life—Dodge. Still, trying to convince her heart she needed to stay away only made it yearn to latch onto him with vice-like determination.

A knock sounded at the door, and her heart hammered in her chest. The pan made a scraping sound as she removed it from the heat. When she opened the barrier that stood between her and Aanon, a shy smile tugged his lips. He carried a large, rectangular piece of furniture under his arm.

“Look, don’t take this as me pressuring you either way,” he said. “Your decision on whether to keep your child is up to you, but if you do, I imagine you’ll need a place for the baby to sleep.”

“Come in,” she said, eyes glued to the hand carved planks and polished wood grain of the bassinet.

“If I’m overstepping, just tell me. My mom and dad made this for me before I was born. It was always meant to be passed on through our family, but Erin said she didn’t want Dodge sleeping in something so primitive. I completely understand if you think the same—”

“Stop,” she said, resting a hand on his tensed forearm. “It’s beautiful.”

His eyes dropped to the crib, and his voice lowered to a whisper. “I just thought while you live here, you could use this. If you want to.”

This was the moment. She’d been in deep with Aanon for a while. Hell, if she was completely honest, she’d carried feelings for him since high school, but this was the exact moment she would always remember. The moment when she knew without a doubt, she loved him.

“You aren’t overstepping any bounds with me, Aanon. Could you set it by my bed?”

With a nod, he placed it near the head of the bed, then squatted and rearranged until he seemed satisfied. His fingers brushed the smooth surface, and when he looked up at her, his eyes swam with some emotion she was helpless to interpret. “It’s hard staying away from you now,” he admitted, standing. He towered over her like some ancient oak, steadfast and strong.

“I’m going to call Miles and tell him,” she blurted. She’d thought about it and made the decision this morning. “I can’t stand Erin having anything else on you, and I know it bothers you that my life could be changed by her vengeance. Wielding Dodge like a weapon is enough. If I tell Miles, her threats about him are hollow.”

Leaning against her dresser, he cocked his head to the side. “Do you think he’ll come here and make trouble for you?”

Sighing wearily, she gestured to the small dining table in the corner. “You hungry? I made stew.”

“Starving.”

Heat rushed her cheeks as he pulled one of the chairs out and waited for her to sit before he spooned two heaping bowls of the hearty broth and set one in front of her. Steam wafted from the soup, and she unfolded a paper napkin and placed it in her lap, stalling.

“I don’t know what he’ll do or how he’ll react. I’m out of my element with him. I thought I knew him better than anyone else in the world, but he had this entire other life, you know? How could I possibly think I could guess anything about him now?”

Reaching across the table, he squeezed her hand, his gaze filled with promise as it held hers. “I’ll never let anything happen to you or the baby.”

He believed what he said. The fire in his eyes proved it. But she couldn’t help but remember how far Miles’s reach stretched in the city. He was powerful. Much more powerful than Aanon could know.

She gripped his hand back and tried to smile around the nausea climbing the back of her throat. “Everything will work out.” God, she wished she was half as confident as she sounded. “And besides. As much as I wish it wasn’t so, Miles is this baby’s father. No matter what mistakes he made with me, he still has a right to know. I just wanted to think everything through and get over some of the hurt before I came to a conclusion either way. Would you mind if I borrow your cell phone sometime? I doubt Briney would let me put a call to New York from the bar.”

“Of course. You can use my phone whenever you want.” He took his first bite of stew and closed his eyes like he was hearing the first note of a long forgotten song. “Jesus, Farrah. This is amazing. Where did you learn to make this?”

Pride filled her until a bubble of excitement threatened to spill from her mouth. Swallowing before she responded, she said, “I checked out a book from the library that had the recipe in it.”

“You and that library,” he said before blowing on another steaming spoonful of meat, broth, and carrots.

“It’s nice to spend time there again. I practically lived there when I was in school. Reading was my escape.”

“Were things really so bad for you?”

“I lived,” she said dryly as visions of taking care of Mom for all those years threatened to spill into her mood. Someday she’d tell him everything. She’d let Aanon see everything about her, but not today. Today she wanted to ride the high of his priceless gift that sat ready and waiting by her bed. Talking about the past didn’t make things better. They only brought back memories she’d long since buried.

“I like you better with dark hair,” he said suddenly, but the flush in his cheeks said he wished he could take the words back.

Surprised, she dropped her gaze to the bowl in front of her. “I thought blond would’ve been more your type.”

“Hair color doesn’t make a difference. You’re different, Farrah. In the best ways, you’re different.”

If her life depended on it, she couldn’t help the smile that took her face. That was absolutely the nicest thing any man had ever said to her.

“So, I’ve been thinking about what happened yesterday. In the woods.”

And just like that, her heart sank into a pit of darkness. “Don’t take it back,” she pleaded, unable to meet his gaze.

“Hey,” he said, tilting her chin with a gentle touch. “I’d never take that back. It was—well, that was the sexiest thing I’ve ever been a part of. I can’t stop thinking about it, honestly. I mean, when I think about you splayed against that tree, the feel of you…it’s to the point of distraction today.”

A relieved laugh left her lips, and she leaned her cheek against his hand. “I know it can’t happen again, but I don’t regret it either. Even if that’s all I get, it’s better than watching you from across the homestead, wondering what it would feel like for you to touch me.”

“It won’t always be like this. Erin will move on eventually and tire of the game.”

She cast her gaze to the bassinet. “I hope you’re right.”

****

Aanon muttered a curse and yanked his oil-covered hand back. Damned snowmobile was going to be a beast to keep running this winter. The smaller one was working fine, but the older, larger vehicle had been begging repairs for three years. With Farrah at the homestead, they’d need both of them running and trustworthy. As much as he’d love to share a sled with her, her stomach was growing by the day, and he didn’t want to run the risk of her falling off the back.

A slash across his finger wept red, and he staunched it with a semi-clean rag. His hands were covered in grease, and it was nearly dinner time, but he was running out of daylight to repair it. Bad weather was coming soon. He could feel it in his bones, and snow, unrelenting and unforgiving, would wash the last remnants of autumn from his home.

The sound of the four-wheeler and Luna’s jubilant barking filled the barn, and helpless to his heart, he jogged to help Farrah untie the log she dragged behind the ATV. She didn’t even need his help, which was somehow even more attractive.

With the tree untied, she unhooked the chainsaw from the front bars of the ATV and frowned at the hand he’d fisted to keep the rag tightly on.

“What happened?”

“It’s nothing,” he muttered in irritation at himself. “Just messing with the danged snowmobile.”

“Oh. Well, let me see it.”

Reluctantly, he pulled the wrap off and held it out for her inspection.

“Looks nasty. You should go clean it up before it gets infected. Maybe put a bandage on it.”

“I will after I cut this wood. It’s getting dark, and I want to turn in before the storm hits.”

“It smells like snow,” she murmured, brushing a finger along the cut. She didn’t seem squeamish at the sight of blood, and the things he admired about her piled up with every conversation they had.

“I can cut the wood,” she said. “I’ll just use the chainsaw. This really needs to be cleaned.”

Gripping the wrap, he dragged her waist closer and offered her a devilish smile. “Clean is overrated.” Before she could react, he wiped the pad of his grease-covered thumb across her cheek, and she stood stock still, a gasp of shock frozen on her face.

“Aanon Falk, you’ve lost your mind. I dressed up for you today and you’re getting me filthy!” The barest hint of a smile brushed her full lips, and he couldn’t take his eyes off their shape.

“I did notice you were looking extra sexy today.”

“Good. That was the entire point of me wearing my best work shirt.” Sarcasm tinted her voice, and he dragged his gaze back to her dancing eyes.

“Someday, I’m going to take you out somewhere nice, and you can dress up in something other than your best work shirt.”

“Don’t tease me,” she said.

“Not a tease. I can’t wait to spend a day in town, just you and me.” He stole a glance at the road to make sure no cars were making their way to the big house and leaned down to brush his lips against hers. She tasted so sweet, he brushed his tongue against the inside of her lip just to better drink her in. The way she melted against him when he touched her brought a shuddering sensation to his insides. She didn’t hide that she was affected by him, and she was entirely too erotic when she made little helpless sounds in the back of her throat.

Pulling away to rest his forehead against hers, he gave her another wicked smile. “I like how you say my name when you’re frustrated. It makes me want to kiss you until you forget what you’re mad at me for.”

“I still remember,” she said, voice quaking.

Her eyes were glazed, and she blinked slower. He wanted to take her into his house and lose himself entirely. He couldn’t’ even remember being this happy.

“You dirtied my face,” she said with a challenging smile.

Those lips that had the power to offer a simple smile eased all of his aches, enticing him to stay lost in them forever. Slipping his hands up her neck, he tilted her jaw back with two gentle thumbs and dipped his mouth to hers. Her lips were so soft, yielding to him as they moved against his, and his head swam with his want of her. No, not want. He needed her. If she left now, he’d be broken into a million pieces. Splintered so completely, he’d never be whole again. He hadn’t even noticed how sad and dark his life had become until she entered it like a ray of sunlight that cut straight to his soul. He kissed her harder at the thought of losing her. He wanted all of her. Wanted her to open up about her past, to trust him with her secrets, to know her the way no one else ever had.

Her hands grew frantic and found their way under his jacket, then under his sweater. Cold fingers found the warmth of his skin, and he hissed as she raked her nails across his back. “Farrah,” he warned. His control slipped by the second.

Pulling away with an unapologetic grin, she pecked his cheek and nose, then spun around. “You should really clean that cut, Falk.”

He staggered forward a step, as if his body couldn’t let go of her warmth. She sauntered toward the chainsaw. If he thought her controlling a tractor was sexy, watching her stick a boot across the wood to steady it, ripping the chainsaw until it revved and cutting confidently into the lumber was just about enough to demolish any lingering self-control he had left.

He was in it. This was deep in the murky forest of No-Turning-Back-Land, and he’d dived head first and weaponless into it with Farrah. A sudden fear washed over him that she’d leave, and he’d be shattered. It had happened before, and now this iron woman with the vein of delicious vulnerability had the power to destroy him where Erin had failed.

But watching her care for the homestead and listening to her defend it as paradise affected him in a way no other human being had managed. He trusted her beyond a doubt, and not because love was blind, but because she’d earned it. Because she was worthy of it.

As he strode for the house with the noise of the chainsaw as a soundtrack to his retreat, he smiled. If he was in it with anyone, Farrah was worth the risk.

****

The first wave of snow hit in the early hours of the morning. When Farrah had awoken, the homestead had changed. No longer was it green and muddy, but now was covered in a white blanket that sparkled in the sunlight. There was something so ethereal about snow that hadn’t been touched. No tire tracks wound through the clearing, no boot prints graced the ivory sweep. Even the forest animals had huddled down against the frigid chill and kept their tracks from the homestead.