She's Gotta Have It: A Hood Love Story (15 page)

Josalyn

A couple weeks later...

I was furious as I walked into the public studio that Cassian had been using, since he had to give up his condo in North Hollywood. I told him I would pay the rent for a while, but being the man that he is he declined.

Anyway, I was pissed because he missed our baby's doctor appointment. As I walked through the place, I heard loud music coming from the room he always rented out. I beat on the door, and that chick Taniya answered.

"Hey Jos!" she smiled and pulled the door open further to let me in.

I walked in and saw Cassian on the couch, bobbing his head to the music with his eyes closed. I smacked the back of his head lightly, and his eyes popped open.

"Damn baby, what you hit me for?" he frowned looking up at me.

"You forgot!" I pouted.

"Forgot what?" he inquired.

"The doctor’s appointment we had today!" I shouted over the beat that was blasting.

"Oh shit!" He ran his hands over his fade. I looked at the table next to him, and it had a tray of cocaine lines, ready to be sniffed.

"What is this?" I questioned pointing to the substance.

"Oh, that's umm-"

"It's mine," his cousin Denver smiled.

"If it's yours, why is it by him and not you?" I raised a brow.

"I was sitting over there but I forgot it," he smiled and walked over to grab it.

I looked down into Cassian's eyes, and I knew he was high off his ass. I just shook my head and turned around to leave.

"Josalyn!" he yelled and ran after me. I ignored him and kept going until I felt him grab me.

"I'm sorry about the appointment," he said then pinched his nose closed.

"Why are you snorting cocaine Cassian?" I asked.

"I'm not," he smirked.

"Yes you are. You're high as hell right now," I said and my voice cracked.

"Aight, umm, I just tried it once. But look, it ain't gone happen again," he chuckled and sniffled. I didn't say anything, and just immediately began to cry my eyes out. "Baby, baby stop crying. I promise this was only once," he said as he tugged my hands away from my face.

"You swear?"

"I swear babe. Now what did the doctor say?" he grinned and kissed my lips. "I promise this is the first and last time, okay?" he smiled sympathetically, and I nodded.

I began to tell him everything that happened, and let him know the baby was fine. He decided to leave with me, but ran back to the room to let his people know he was leaving. He took awhile, and when he came out, he was wiping his nose. Like most women, I chose to ignore my better judgment because I loved him. I wanted to believe today was the first and last time.

When we got home, he got right to massaging my feet like old times. "You know we have to make decisions that don't affect the baby," I said breaking the silence.

"I know," he nodded as he stared at my feet.

"I hope so," I exhaled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he frowned.

"Why did you try the cocaine?" I quizzed.

"I don't know baby girl. It was there, and Denver said it would calm me," he shrugged. I admired his gorgeous face before speaking.

"And you're not ever gonna do it again?" I questioned to be sure.

"No Josalyn, I'm not. Aight?" He raised a brow and I nodded. He reached over and lifted my tank top to rub my bare stomach. I smiled as I watched him do so. "Five more months," he grinned as he stared at my tummy.

"Yep, and you'll be a daddy," I chuckled. All of a sudden his rubs stopped. "What's wrong babe?" I asked as I caressed his muscular arm.

"I'm gon' be the best father to this baby," he said looking at the wall.

"I know you are," I laughed nervously.

"You really think that? Real fathers are providers Josalyn," he replied.

"I know. You will do that too," I smiled.

"How?" He snapped his neck to look at me, and his eyes were watering. I didn't know what to say. "How when I ain't making money like I used to? I used to get four hundred thousand dollars a show Josalyn. Imagine how much money that is when I'm doing four and five shows a fucking week. Now I'm getting about one hundred thousand, and doing one show every two weeks," he scoffed.

"That's still a lot. Way more than middle class families," I replied.

"That's just gonna get lower. Soon I'm gone be getting ten grand, and doing a show once a month! I'm gone end up on
Love and Hip Hop
or some shit!" He shook his head.

"Cassian, ten thousand ain't bad either baby. And I will be a doctor. Maybe not for a while, but I will be. Plus, you have saved a lot Cassian. We can be middle class," I responded rubbing his back, and cupping his face to look at me.

"You ain't get with a middle class nigga. You got with a rich one, and now he's slowly exiting," he sniffled. I looked into his sexy face, and pecked his lips passionately.

"Cassian Lennox Myers, I got with you because of who are you are honey. Not because of how much money you had, or how many shows you're booking. I would live in a box with you. I love you. This baby is gonna have the best daddy in the world. I wouldn't want to be pregnant by anybody else. I thank God for you baby," I told him honestly. I loved his ass so much, and it hurt me to hear him doubt and talk down on himself.

"You for real feel that way?" he asked as I played with his chin hair.

"Yep," I smiled and so did he. "We're gonna be fine. I know you'll take care of us," I nodded. He pulled me into his lap so that I was straddling him, and hugged me tightly.

"I love you so much Josalyn," he whispered and kissed my neck. I adjusted my grip on him and squeezed him tighter.

I hoped he got out of this funk soon, because I would hate to see such a great guy be ruined by this life.

Chapter Fourteen: Andi

I was dancing with Zooey to "Boomin" by Fetty Wap. I couldn't drink, and I had to watch everyone else get fucked up. I kept throwing up since that first night, and when I went to the doctor they said I was pregnant. I guess because I was so occupied with my trash ass life, and skipping my birth control, I got knocked up. On top of that, my dumb ass had been letting Denim fuck me raw. I wasn't sure if I was gonna keep the baby, but I didn't want to do anything harmful to it in case I did keep it. Denim was excited for some reason.

I knew I shouldn't have been in the club, because for some reason I had night sickness. I threw up in the morning a couple times, but it usually came every night.

As I danced, my throat started to jump and I knew I had to throw up. I rushed to the bathroom with my toiletry filled clutch, so that I could vomit and brush my teeth.

I should've stayed home,
I said to myself. Only reason I came is because I didn't want Zooey to know I was pregnant.

I burst into the bathroom, and thank God it was empty. I went into the stall, and threw up half of my insides it felt like. I wiped my mouth, and paused to catch my breath before exiting.
I'm gonna leave and get some food,
I thought as I went into my clutch to get my toothpaste and travel toothbrush.

BOOM!

I looked over and Hollis had burst into the ladies’ room. I rolled my eyes and proceeded to put the paste onto my brush.

"I told you that you would regret your words!" he yelled and pushed me into the wall, making me drop my toothbrush.

"Hollis stop-" my eyes bucked when I saw Samuel, his manager, walk in and lock the door.

"Remember me?" he smirked.

"What are you gonna do? Help!" I screamed, and Hollis covered my mouth. He pinned me against the wall, as Sam reached under my dress and ripped my panties off. "Mmmmmm!" I screamed under Hollis' heavy hand. I was so scared. "I'm pregnant!" I tried to yell but it only came out muffled. Sam just shook his head as he rolled a condom down on his dick.

Tears started to leave my eyes, as Sam lifted me up and slid me down onto his dick. Hollis moved to the side a little, to let Sam go to work on me. I clawed and scratched at both of their faces, but they seemed to not be bothered by it.

"Oooh fuck! Still good as I remember!" Sam grunted as he humped away. Hollis planted kisses on the parts of my face that weren't covered by his hand, while laughing. "Arrrgggghh!" Samuel filled up the condom, and dropped me.

I stood up to try and leave, but Sam slapped the shit out of me. He covered my mouth, and slammed me against the wall. My head was killing me. Hollis slid down a condom, and lifted me up to enter me. I was crying so hard, that Samuel’s hands were wet with my blood and tears.

"Damn," Hollis whispered and kissed my neck.

Finally, he released his seeds into the condom, and pulled out of me. I slid to the ground, as they stared down at me smiling.

"That should teach you a lesson to stop fucking people over!" Samuel chuckled as he wiped my blood and tears off his hand and onto a napkin.

I stared at the wall, as they chuckled and slipped out of the bathroom. I felt like I had peed on myself, and when I looked down, there was blood between my legs.

"Noooo!" I screamed.

Some random girl rushed into the bathroom and squealed. She pulled out her phone and dialed 911 as I tried to get up.

"Relax girl," she said and patted my shoulder. After about five minutes, I heard a lot of commotion, and some EMT's burst through the door of the bathroom. "I found her like this," the girl said.

They picked me up and placed me on the stretcher, as I sobbed hysterically. I knew my baby was gone, and I didn't realize how much I wanted it until then.

"It's okay," the female EMT said as she rubbed my hair gently. I closed my eyes and let every tear in my body fall.

As they wheeled me outside, I heard Zooey screaming and trying to get to me.

"I'm her sister!" she yelled.

My eyes were closed, but the sound of paparazzi swarming and flashing pictures of me was obvious. I heard officers telling them to back up as they snapped away.

"Andi! What happened?!" one of them yelled. I knew this would be all over the urban blogs and for once in my life, that was bad news.

***

I woke up in the hospital bed, and Josalyn and Zooey were sitting there. "It's just you guys?" I asked.

"Denim came but I told him to leave," Josalyn frowned.

"No! Get him back in here!" I shouted and Zooey stood up to calm me. Josalyn shook her head at me, and stormed her pregnant ass out to get him.

"Is the baby-" I asked, and Zooey shook her head no before I even finished. I covered my eyes and cried. "What happened Andi?" Zooey asked with watered eyes.

Before I could respond, Denim appeared in the doorway, with Josalyn behind him folding her arms.

"Give us a second," I told my sisters and they left. Denim closed the door behind them, and pulled a chair close to my bed. "You know the baby is gone," I sniffled.

He stared at me, and his eyes became glazed over. I'd never seen any emotion out of him before. I was scared he was gonna beat my ass.

"Why did you go out?" he frowned and shook his head at me.

"I-I…"

"Cause you're a selfish bitch!" he nodded and mugged me.

"Denim, I know I shouldn't have gone out, but they raped me!" I cried.

"You sure you didn't willingly let them run a train on you?" he raised a brow and stood up.

"What are you-"

"I'm out. We're done Andi," he said before leaving.

I dropped my head in my hands to cry some more. Not for Denim, but for my baby and my life. As I sobbed, I heard the door open back up. I lifted my head to see a nurse and a black man dressed in a suit.

“I told you I can’t talk about what happened right now. I need time,” I sniffled.

“Ms. Richardson, this detective wants to talk to you and he wouldn’t take no for an answer,” the nurse replied before exiting.

“Good morning Ms. Richardson, I’m detective Xavier Barns, and I’m here to ask you some questions about Shakina Ford.”

Zooey

My poor sister. I hated what happened to her, and I just hoped we could get revenge on whomever did this. She had to prove her case, but she was still going to press charges. There was a lot of physical evidence against them, thank God. I'd spent a good five hours today with her, me and Josalyn, so now I just wanted to go home and sleep.

I pulled into my parking spot, and shut the engine off. I grabbed my hot chocolate from Starbucks, and then exited the car.

"You thought it was over?" I heard a voice say, so I looked towards it.

"Poppy, I'm not in the mood to beat your ass." I rolled my eyes and started to walk off. She pushed me back, catching me off guard. "Look, you don't want this right now! I have a lot of anger built up in me-"

"You shut the fuck up and let me talk!" she shouted. I rolled my eyes and raised a brow so she could start.

"I spent ten years of my life with that man, ten years! I was twenty years old when I met Noah. I never cheated on him, and never left him no matter what bullshit he brought into our relationship! He finally started to shape up, and we even got married. Then you came along, and you ruined it!" she sobbed. "I dedicated my life to this man! I stood by him through everything, and for you to come in and snatch him from under me is the worst thing you could've done!"

"Poppy-"

"No! The way you manipulated me. Tricked me into thinking you needed a job and money, just so you could get close to him! Who does that Zooey?" she frowned and sniffled. Her face was glistening because of all the tears." And the least you could've done was stay with the man, but no. You used him and then dumped him like trash! I loved that man with all my heart and you treated him like he was nothing! Our relationship was not a game Zooey! You ruined our marriage for what!" she shouted through tears. She even had me about to tear up, because everything she said was true.

"Look, I'm done here," I said and pushed past her. She grabbed my shoulder, spun me around, and plunged a knife into my abdomen. "Ah!" I yelped as I looked down at my bleeding stomach. Again! She jammed the knife into my shoulder. "Poppy! Stop!" I screamed as my hot chocolate hit the floor and burned my feet. She smirked and plunged the knife into my thigh. "Help!" I cried out as I tried to stop the bleeding on my wounds. I fell to the floor, and blood started to come out of my mouth as she stood over me smiling.

"Maybe this will teach you a thing or two," she chuckled and wiped her forehead.

"Please call 911…" I said.

"Fuck you!" she mugged me and then spit in my face. She punched me in the nose, and then jogged away.

"He-" I tried to say as blood gurgled up. I reached out to no one, as everything faded to black.

Josalyn

Another appointment was missed by Cassian, and I was beyond upset. Just like last time, I went to the studio to confront his stupid ass. I stormed inside, and burst into the room I heard his music coming from. I walked in and it was just him sitting on the couch, listening.

"Really Cass?" I frowned and folded my arms across my chest.

"Hey babe," he smiled with his eyes looking red as hell. His nose had white residue on it.

"What are you doing Cassian? You said you were done with this shit!" I yelled.

"Look, you ain't in my fucking shoes!"

"So fuck me and the baby I see," I scoffed.

"Man, calm your dramatic ass down! You acting like I'm some cokehead. I just do this shit every now and then!" he grimaced.

"I'm done Cass," I said throwing my hands up as if I was getting arrested.

"Done with what?" He raised a brow and stood off the couch.

"You! Us! I don't want you anymore! I don't know who you've become, but I don't want any parts of it," I cried.

It's like every time I found someone who made me happy, they were somehow taken away from me. I was so tired of this shit. To make matters worse, I was pregnant this time.

"So you gon’ leave me? You just like everybody else who has fucked me over in life!" he scowled.

"Whatever. Maybe you will be clean on the birthdate, so that you can see him when he gets here." I shook my head and turned around to leave. He grabbed my arm lightly and turned me around.

"We're having a boy?" he smiled and laughed, as he cupped my face. I moved his hands off my face.

"Don't touch me," I said in a disgusted tone. Although high as a kite, he was still fine as hell. I loved him so much; why did this have to happen to him?

"Oh, I can't touch you now?" he quizzed.

"No. Get your drug addict hands off me. You won't touch my baby either if you're on that shit still." I pushed him back. He charged me and wrapped his hand around my neck. "Cass!" I screamed and clawed at his hand as it squeezed my neck. I could barely breathe, so I knew the baby couldn't. "Cass!" I managed to squeeze out as he lifted me in the air by my neck, choking me.