Shifted By The Winds (19 page)

It was late in the afternoon when Carrie finally left. The rest of her time there had been spent in easy conversation and laughter. There had been no more storytelling and no more questions. Carrie understood that deep transformation needed time to take root and grow. It couldn’t be hurried.

Faith had fixed a delicious lunch, and at least a dozen children had appeared at the back door eager for her oatmeal cookies. She listened quietly as Biddy and Faith talked to
their
children, sending each of them away with a confident shine in their eyes.

When Crandall pulled the carriage to a stop in front of the house, Carrie was reluctant to leave. For the first time ever, she felt uncomfortable about going home. The conversation with Janie had been playing in her mind all day. She was certain of what she needed to do, but she was dreading it.

Janie was waiting on the porch when Matthew’s carriage arrived. Her heart almost exploded with joy when a wide grin split his face as soon as he saw her. There had been times when she was sure she had merely imagined the tender moments they had on the plantation before she had been called away. Perhaps she had only dreamed the proposal. The look in his eyes when he leapt from the carriage said it was all real.

“Janie!” Matthew ran up the stairs and swept her into his arms.

Janie closed her eyes from sheer delight. She had never felt the joy of being treasured before, and had never expected to experience it during her lifetime. To find it after the traumatic marriage to Clifford made it even more precious to her. “You’re here,” she breathed. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Matthew held her back just far enough to claim her lips in a warm kiss. “The good thing about being back in the North is that no one will be shocked to see me kiss my fiancée on the porch,” he said when he finally pulled away and grinned down at her. “They may turn their noses up, but no one will pull out their smelling salts.” His smile faded. “I missed you, too,” he said quietly.

Janie understood the yearning look in his eyes. They would already be married if the decision was up to him. She knew she loved this man with all her heart, but she also knew she wasn’t ready. Matthew was nothing like Clifford, but she was still jolted awake far too often from the nightmares her marriage had bequeathed her. She had fought so hard for her independence. It might be selfish not to be ready to give it up yet, but so be it. Matthew said he understood. She would have to trust he was telling the truth.

Matthew lifted his nose and sniffed. His eyes widened with delight. “Do I really smell an apple pie?”

Janie laughed and pushed at him. “I do believe you’re part hound dog. Does it come from being born in West Virginia? I remember Hobbs had the same kind of nose.”

Matthew looked smug, his blue eyes dancing with fun. “I prefer to consider it sensitivity for the finer things in life,” he drawled.

“Right,” Janie teased back, her joy almost pounding out of her chest. She nodded toward the carriage. “Are you going to make your driver wait all day, or are you going to let him go?”

“I totally forgot him,” he admitted. “That’s what you do to me, young lady.”

It was Janie’s turn to look smug. “I’m certainly not going to apologize,” she shot back.

Matthew ran down the stairs to claim his two bags from the carriage and pay the driver. When he turned back around, Janie was looking at his bags with a raised brow. “No, I’m not moving in,” he said, answering the question in her eyes. “But neither am I willing to be very far from you when I’m in town.” He nodded his head toward the elegant yellow home two doors down. “Abby convinced a friend of hers to let a battered newspaper reporter board with her.”

“You’re living just two doors down?” Janie gasped. “That’s wonderful!” Again, she saw a look flash through Matthew’s eyes. He wanted to marry her so they could always be together, but he was giving her the time she needed. She knew she couldn’t truly understand how difficult it must be for him, but it just made her love him even more. “And I will not hear anything about you being a battered newspaper reporter.
You
are on your way to being a celebrated author.”

Matthew grinned. “You got my letter. I wasn’t sure it would get here before I did.”

“It came just a few hours ago,” Janie said happily. “I’m so excited for you!
Glimmers of Change
is going to be an excellent book. More importantly, it is going to change how people see things in our country. Your stories are so needed, Matthew.”

“And the part about me still doing newspaper work?” Matthew asked hesitantly. He watched her eyes closely.

“I knew you couldn’t walk away,” Janie replied easily. “To not have your finger on the pulse of this nation would have driven you crazy. You needed to heal from your experience in New Orleans, but I knew you would be right back in the fray.”

“And you don’t mind?” Matthew asked somberly.

Janie regarded him for a long moment, melting at the look of vulnerability on his strong face. “I won’t pretend I won’t worry, but I also won’t ask you to be less than you are.”

Matthew reached out and pulled her close. “I have fallen in love with an angel,” he said thickly.

“And don’t you forget it,” Janie replied, her heart catching as she thought about the night before.

Matthew sensed the shift in her feelings. He held her away and gazed down into her face. “What is it?”

“I’m afraid I’m far from being an angel,” Janie said quietly. When Matthew didn’t respond, but just continued to watch her, she knew he was giving her time to explain. “Carrie and I had a disagreement,” she admitted uncomfortably. “We’ve never felt so differently about things before.” She fell silent and looked down the street, wondering for what must be the hundredth time where Carrie had disappeared to this morning.

“You haven’t talked about it?” Matthew asked after a long moment.

“We haven’t had a chance,” Janie replied. She explained how Carrie had left earlier with no explanation about where she was going.

“Are you worried about her?”

Janie shook her head slowly. “No. I suspect she has gone down to visit the two women who saved us when the cholera hospital was burned, but…” Her voice trailed away. “I’m afraid she is very disappointed in me.”

Matthew frowned, but he didn’t refute her statement. “Do you want to tell me about it?”

Janie looked down the road again, but she didn’t see Carrie coming. “It’s getting late,” she muttered. In spite of what she had just said, worry was beginning to build.

“It will still be light for more than an hour,” Matthew assured her. “Did Carrie go wherever she was going with a driver?”

“I believe so. She said something to Elizabeth about going to the livery this morning.” Janie wished she could push the concern from her mind. “I shouldn’t be so worried.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Matthew replied with a smile. “Our friend Carrie has quite a solid reputation for being both impulsive and rash.”

The glint in his eyes made Janie laugh. “That is true. Still,” she said, “I have no reason to believe anything is wrong. I think she just needed to get away so she could think.”

“About what the two of you fought about last night?”

“I wouldn’t call it a fight,” Janie protested. “I would call it more of a philosophical disagreement.” Matthew raised a brow and looked at her. “All right,” she amended. “I guess it was more like a fight. All I’ve done all day is think about you coming, and all the things Carrie and I said last night. It was a total mix of joy and regret.” The day had been exhausting.

“And make apple pie,” Matthew added, obviously trying to take her mind off the argument with her closest friend.

“I’m afraid I can’t take credit for that. Alice saw how you fawned over Annie’s pies on the plantation. She brought home some fresh apples that just came into the city from the mountains, and insisted on making two pies.”

“I will try my best to do them justice,” Matthew said solemnly.

Janie laughed again, so very glad he was there. “Would you like to go for a walk?” she asked suddenly. She needed to get away from the house and clear her head. Staring at the road was not going to make Carrie miraculously appear.

Matthew promptly deposited his bags in the foyer of Abby’s house, yelled hello to Janie’s housemates, and then joined her on the porch again. “Lead the way, my love.”

Janie shivered. “I don’t know that I’ll ever get used to hearing you say that,” she said. “I loved you for so long.”

Matthew pulled her close again and claimed her lips in another kiss. “Then we’ve got a lot of time to make up for,” he said tenderly. He ended the kiss and tucked her hand in the crook of his arm. “Tell me whatever you want me to know.”

Janie discovered she wanted him to know everything. They had walked quite a long way before the entire story had spilled from her. Matthew listened quietly, merely nodding his head occasionally to indicate he was listening closely. She felt herself relaxing as she talked. She and Clifford had been able to talk like this once, but it had been for such a short time after their marriage. The Confederacy’s defeat had made him bitter and angry—completely changing the man she had fallen in love with. Matthew had already been through the worst and come out each time a better man. Janie knew she could trust her future with him.

The cool front that had brought in the storm the night before had kept the temperatures mild. The searing humidity had escaped out to sea as if the tides had simply pulled it away. Laughter and conversation flowed from porches as they strolled beneath the overhanging trees. Window boxes were still full of colorful flowers, and the smell of apples and cinnamon gave testimony to the recent influx of fruit from the Pocono Mountains.

Janie finished her story, edging right to miss a hoop rolling down the street. It was being madly pursued by a young girl with long braids, her face flushed with exertion.

“Sorry, ma’am!” she yelled, a grin revealing a gap in her teeth.

“I spent hours playing hoops when I was a young girl,” Janie said with a chuckle as she watched the child dash off, expertly spinning the hoop.

“And I never saw one until I left the mountains of West Virginia,” Matthew replied. “All my free time was spent in the woods with my dog.”

Janie eyed him. “We
are
from different worlds,” she murmured with an appraising glance. “I guess it was all that time in the woods that made you so strong and handsome, so I’m not going to complain. I will take on the responsibility of teaching our children how to roll hoops,” she said playfully, before sobering as her mind was pulled back to their conversation. “So, what do you think?”

“Of our children playing hoops?” Matthew answered. “I’m all for it.” He reached down and squeezed her hand. “Or about Carrie and what the two of you talked about?”

“The latter,” Janie said. She squirmed under his sudden scrutiny but was so glad to have someone to talk it through with. She hadn’t felt she could talk to any of her housemates because she didn’t want them to feel they were in the middle of it, and she was also concerned with how they would react.

“What do
you
think?” Matthew pressed. “You’ve told me what was said, but you haven’t really told me how you feel about it.”

“I’m still trying to figure that out,” Janie admitted. “I know I feel terrible about having such a strong disagreement with Carrie…” Her voice trailed away as she tried to face her feelings.

“Because you believe you were wrong, or because you hate to have conflict with her?”

Janie searched her heart. “I certainly hate having conflict.” She paused for a long moment. “I haven’t decided if I believe I was wrong.” She stopped in front of a three-story brick building and stared up at it, glad for a distraction. “Do you know what this is?”

“The Philadelphia School of Design for Women.”

Janie stared with surprise at what must have once been someone’s mansion. “For
women
?”