Shifter's Revenge (Alpha Lineage) (7 page)

Kera bit back a sob but wasn’t able to squelch the tears that escaped from the corners of her eyes. She realized in that next moment that she was selfish. Even though she caused him pain, she wasn’t going to stop herself from being with Maddox in this moment. The compulsion was too strong. Either it was because they were mated or because she needed him that much.

Just as she decided to move forward Maddox brought everything to a screeching stop. He pulled on her hair roughly and broke their kiss. His mouth went to her neck and kissed her throat gently before he took a deep breath inhaling her scent. “After everything you just told me,” he murmured against the tender column of her throat, “what do you expect me to do with you? Our mating wasn’t complete so I have no
bond to you yet. You made your case to push me away but gave me nothing positive other than your need to fuck me again.”

Her blood turned to ice
at his crude words. Her breath rushed in and out of her mouth harshly as she fought to bring her adrenaline into control. Her first reaction would be to tell him how much she loved him but she thought better of it. Why would he care about her love when so many other things fought against them? The truth about her bonding tore her soul to shreds. The one thing she relied on to keep him by her side slipped through her fingers.

“There’s nothing I can give you,” she whispered painfully, “except myself.”

His breath pushed against her neck. “That’s the whole point Kera.” His hand tightened in her hair before he spoke again. “You’re all I have and you took that away from me.”

He was never going to let her go. Maddox felt the smooth strands of her hair between his fingers as he tried to ignore the heat of her body straddling his hips. His cock pressed against the seam of her jeans searching for her entrance. He barely restrained himself. Taking her wasn’t the point of this rest stop though he couldn’t think of a better way to spend the night than inside her. The alternative was turning into one painful blow after another. Every word out of her mouth told him that she wasn’t ready for the type of commitment that he wanted from her. She wasn’t able to look past the surface to the truth that bound them together. They were made for each other. Fated even. 

Yet even after coming to that realization he noticed that something about her had changed.
She seemed too resolute in the lies about her worth. He pressed his lips against her neck and loosened the hold he had on her hair. Still she didn’t move from the position he put her in. He could faintly smell the soft and salty tears that trailed down her face.

The hardest thing for him to accept was the broken state of his bond with the wolf inside of him. He felt he could go crazy at any moment. Kera had mentioned that she suspected the same had happened to Rayland and that was why he worked so hard to get the book from her. Luke obviously couldn’t or wouldn’t reverse the damage. If the woman in his arms could do such a thing then that was just another reason not to let her go.

He thought for a moment about what he was doing. The pain he was causing the woman he loved. He cursed himself for trying to inflict the same pain he was going through. Hadn’t she been through enough? Maybe. Still in his mind he couldn’t imagine why she had left him. He couldn’t seem to let go of the fact that she had the power to break him and not only used it, but because of her leaving he suffered a physical and mental blow that practically disabled him as an Alpha.

Kera leaned her head down and buried her face against his neck. Her breath pushed against his chest as she spoke softly. “I didn’t leave you like
that
, Maddox. I just left your presence for a few days. I needed to get you out of this rut of worrying about me and push you to find Rayland and Luke. If you were also inclined to hunt down Andrew, then so be it. I won’t be a thorn your side and that was all I was becoming.”

Maddox shut his eyes and took a deep breath. “You h
ave no idea what you mean to me,” he murmured. “Even without the mating bond I couldn’t imagine it being anyone but you. You have to understand that I just found you dead not more than a week ago and by sheer luck you came back to me. I wanted nothing more than to spend time with you and make sure you were ok, but you just fucking left me. You ran out and disappeared for days Kera and what was I supposed to think? That you went off to find yourself? Do you not think that I would feel even a little responsible that I wasn’t enough for you to lean on? You didn’t tell me what happened to you until I forced it out of you.”

Her shoulders shook in silent sobs. Her hand pulled away from his and she pushed off of him with such force that his breath was knocked out of his lungs.

She paced in front of him. Her emerald eyes reflected in the moonlight causing desire to take his next breath away. She was utterly beautiful. The possibility of her existence was unfathomable, but here she was standing before him. Even now that he was weakened by the spell she said her and her mother put over her father’s house, he knew that his wolf longed for her. He longed for her. It wasn’t fair for him to take when he wasn’t willing to give. The urge to make love to her had to be completely mutual and without taint before he was willing to allow himself the pleasure.

Right now he was too damaged to let her in. She stood before him trying to find words to plead her case but it wasn’t going to matter. Her words even if they were truth wouldn’t erase the past few days. Time would only tell if they were going to make it. Time was the only thing that they needed and had very little of. Rayland requested a meeting in the morning and Jason had agreed. His father figured that even without Kera’s presence he would be able to reason with his brother and reconcile the pack.

Maddox, of course, felt different. He only felt hate and the urge for revenge when it came to Rayland. He had taken Kera and stripped her of her innocence by letting her fall into the hands of Andrew. Her torture and death had affected her to the very core of her being. It was something he wished she had never experienced.

She finally turned to him. Her face was blank purposefully and he hated it. When she spoke her raspy voice shot daggers into his chest that wounded him even more.

“You will always be enough for me Maddox. It’s me who will never be enough for you.”

Kera felt Maddox seemed to understand what could be between them. He didn’t argue with her. He shifted back into his wolf followed her back to the truck. Her emotions threatened to consume her. It was the most painful thing she ever endured. Even above the torture, not knowing if she would ever be in Maddox’s favor again was killing her spirit. Back in her father’s truck, Kera drove the rest of the way to Jason’s house. She thought about what she would do to make things better for him. She figured that if she needed to sacrifice herself to heal the rift in his family then she would. Life was never easy, but he said that he couldn’t imagine being with anyone but her. She hoped that never changed.

She wondered if she should distance herself even more. Fang bulked at the idea. The instinct inside of her practically revolted at every moment she spent with Maddox
since her return. The tension ran high and she left that spot in the forest even further away from him then she was before she left his home.

Even though she wanted to bridge the gap
, she refrained herself.

When
Kera pulled up to Jason’s house the gates opened for them. Maddox jumped out of the bed of the truck while she drove down the driveway to the front of the house. She watched his white fur sail past Jason and enter the house without her. Instead of crumpling like she thought she would, she straightened her spine and parked. When she exited the vehicle she faced Jason’s angry face with a frown.

“You would be surprised what I’ve accomplished in just a few days.” She told him.

His head tilted in response.

“She said you would protect me better than anyone.” Kera pushed down her fear as she spoke to Maddox’s father about the vision she had of her mother. “I just need to pick up a few things before we meet with Rayland and after I heal them I will be out of your way for good.”

Jason’s eyes narrowed on her. His hand shot out and grabbed her wrist. “You think you could just leave?” He growled in her face. “If you were half the woman your mother was you wouldn’t abandon him.”

Kera laughed darkly. “Isn’t that exactly what she did?” Her wrist hurt from the pressure he held her with but she ignored it. “She lived miles away with no contact that I am aware of. What was she running from anyway? You know better than anyone. I can tell. You keep secrets from everyone under the guise of being the Alpha of a dying pack.”

Jason looked down at where he held her hand. The tiny pulse of energy from skin on skin contact made her heart ache. “You’re angry and lost Kera, just like Maddox. You can’t abandon him now. Not after everything he has been through.”

“I thought you wanted me to go.”

Jason surprised her by shaking his head. “I don’t condone your actions but you need each other. If you leave at a time like this he might not be able to forgive you. He might be angry with you but that hasn’t changed how he feels about you. He told me that he attempted to mate with you and the bond hadn’t formed. It wasn’t something he did lightly. If you choose to stay I beg that you don’t mate with him until you are for sure that you will stay. I know the heartache of the loss of a mate. Maddox’s mother left us when he was seven.”

“I know.” Kera said softly. “He told me.”

Jason released her wrist and narrowed his eyes at her. “And you would do the same to him?”

Kera stayed silent as she thought over what could be. She knew that Maddox was hurting because she left. Was it possible for her to right the wrongs and give him a life he
deserved? Donavan was right. She needed to find her worth. Before she could answer Jason, Maddox came out of the front door and strode up to her. His hand found hers and pulled her to him. Flush with his chest he sighed deeply and nodded at his father before he pulled her into the house with him.

Food was laid out on the table in the dining room. Maddox maneuvered her to a seat and pulled it out for her. She remembered the first time he had done something chivalrous she had practically asked him to stop. It made her uncomfortable because again she didn’t feel worth it.

As they ate Kera wondered if there was a way to make sure she was deserving of him.

“I can practically hear the wheels turning in your head.” Maddox spoke softly.

Kera looked over to see his eyes watching her. “I need to earn your forgiveness.” She told him truthfully. “I want to be deserving of it.”

He put down his fork and leaned back in his chair. “I already told you how to do that. Just don’t leave again.”

“That can’t be it.” she murmured softly. “There is so much more to fix. I want to find a way to help.”

“Other than meeting with Rayland tomorrow and making sure you don’t put yourself in danger so we can all get out of there alive
, I don’t see what more you need to do.”

Kera sighed. It hadn’t really hit her that she would be meeting Rayland and possibly Luke tomorrow. Would Andrew be there? If Maddox hadn’t been injured there would be no way Jason would agree to meet with them. It was just another event that she unwittingly took part in.

That night Kera lay in the bed with Maddox. It was the first time he distanced himself from her
so much that he didn’t hold her in sleep. After a few hours of drifting in and out of fretful sleep Kera got up and walked out to the back yard. She hadn’t explored much of the house but if Maddox woke up she didn’t want to be caught in the front yard otherwise he would assume she was leaving again. Instead she took a deep breath and looked up at the stars. The cold air this late in the year caused her breath to fog when she exhaled. Thinking about her mother she went over to a rose bush in desperate need of a trimming. All of the other bushes and shrubs but this one was obviously tended to. She couldn’t help but wonder why this one had been neglected.

Reaching out she tugged on the splintered vine between two thorns. The back door opened and startled her. She turned around quickly but neglected to release the branch. Her finger grazed the edge of the thorn and she felt it slice into her skin.

That’s when the vision struck. She opened her eyes and quickly hid behind the bush. After seeing her mother and wondering if she could change the past she didn’t want to be the cause of yet another catastrophe in Maddox’s life.

The warm morning sun beat down on the back of her neck. She shifted further behind the rose bush and watched a little boy playing on the other side of the yard. His pants were covered in dirt and grass stains. He had a red cape tied around his shoulders. His dark hair fell into his eyes and he bent over to pick up a stick and break it over his knee.

He roared in cute childish imagination. Kera could tell that his strength was that of a human boy. The stick he broke was hardly more than a twig.

In answer to his little roar a growl outside the yard filtered into her ears. She searched the brick fence for the sound as her heart picked up in rhythm. This had to be it, the moment that Maddox lost his mother. She couldn’t tell how the animal was going to get in the yard but Maddox as a little boy was vulnerable.

She squatted down behind the bush and continued to scan the area. Maybe this was a good thing. If she could keep the dog away then maybe she could save Maddox from the heartache of losing his mother. He would be a different person without the experience that resulted from this day. She wasn’t sure she should do anything but her love for Maddox made her want to at least try.

Seconds later a head popped out from under the fence. The dog was practically foaming at the mouth as it pulled itself through the hole he had dug. Kera tensed as she looked at the back door. It would happen soon. Jason shot out of the house so quickly she didn’t have a chance
to do anything. He shifted midstride just as a beautiful woman ran out of the house.

Jason bounded over to the dog with a feral growl. His teeth flashed and snapped as he caught the dog just as it began to run for Maddox.

The animal didn’t back down or try to fight Jason. It pawed at the earth and pulled away from Jason’s teeth and claws. It ran on uneven steps to Maddox with blood dripping down its neck and sides.

The woman screamed. Her dark hair flowed around her shoulders as she ran for her son. Jason’s growl drowned the sound of her fear as he leapt for the animal and clinched his jaw around the back of its neck.

Kera found herself stepping out from behind the bush. With that movement Maddox caught sight of her. She froze on the spot as he looked between her and his mother. With that small fraction of indecision and fear pulsing in the depths of his blue eyes the woman halted her steps to him. Her breath was coming in short pants as she found that the animal who threatened her son was dead beneath the bite of a large wolf that stood over the body.

Her breath hissed out of her clinched teeth. She shook her head like she was trying to clear her mind of the image but it never changed. Jason bowed his head to show her he wasn’t going to hurt her. When he stepped forward cautiously she screamed and turned to Maddox. Her hand reached out for him and he started to run to her.

His little legs covered the ground quickly but Kera saw the donning of truth in his mother’s eyes. She turned and ran from her son with fear so great that Kera could taste it. Obviously Jason could too. He ran to his son and blocked the path that led to the boy’s mother.

“Mommy!” he yelled out with tears in his voice. He called to her over and over but she never came back. He grabbed Jason’s fur and held on to him as he cried confused and hurt tears. Kera was astonished that he wasn’t afraid of the massive wolf that had blood coating his fur and mouth
, but maybe it was just something inside of him that recognized his father in the wolf.

Finally
, Maddox’s sobs stopped and Kera found herself laying on the cold dirt with the dark night sky hovering over her. Her breath was sawing in and out of her mouth and tears covered her cheeks. A foot step beside her drew her gaze. Maddox hovered over her for a moment and then he knelt down and wiped the tears from her eyes.

“You know the first time I saw you I remembered the moment my mother left.” He murmured. “I knew I recognized you from somewhere but I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was so young at the time and you were just as you were now.”

“That’s why you met up with me in the library.” Kera sat up and stared into his eyes. “You said you knew me from somewhere. I thought after you told me about what happened between my mom and your dad that you had mistaken me for my mother.”

He shook his head. “I always knew it was you. I just didn’t know how or why you were there.” He reached out and touched her face again. “After I got to know you I figured it was fate. In the worst moment of my life you gave me something to hold on to. I found you and you
continued to leave me. You ran because you were scared I would find out who you were. You left me on your birthday and even thought I knew you didn’t mean to. You almost died for good and I practically died with you. The happiest moment of my life is when you looked up at me.” His voice waivered as tears filled his eyes.

Kera threw her arms around him as more tears poured down her face. “I love you
, Maddox.” She whispered through breathy sobs. “I just don’t want to hurt you anymore.”

He kissed the top of her head and wrapped his arms around her. “I can survive anything as long as you stay beside me. If you ever left me for good I don’t think I would be able to make it.”

“I’m yours Maddox.” She promised him. “I’m not very good at this relationship but I swear I will always come back to you. I will always love you. I don’t need the mating bond to tell me that you are the
only
one for me.”

Maddox tightened his arms around her back and leaned down to kiss her forehead. She tilted her head up and his lips came down on hers. His tongue darted into her mouth and his teeth nipped at her lips.

Kera mimicked his motions. She drowned herself in the feeling of his lips. Her body heated and she felt a flicker of power seep into her mouth from his. He sucked in a breath letting her know that he felt it too. Kera threaded her fingers in his hair and held him to her. She trembled against him in relief. Maybe she could heal him without the book. He had done it for her. She poured her heart and soul into his mouth. Her breath mingled with his.

Maddox let his hands trail down her back and push up the hem of her shirt. His warm palms splayed across her spine extracting a groan from her. Kera broke the kiss and unthreaded her fingers from his hair. She trailed them down his back and lifted his shirt over his head. When his hands left her back she shivered from the cold.

“Kera?” he breathed out her name in a quiet question.

She looked at him and noticed the brightness in his eyes. The wolf that was inside of him was coming to the forefront. He blinked but instead of receding, his wolf started to take over.

Kera reached out for him but he stood up and paced in the grass in front of her. After a moment he picked up his shirt from where she dropped it and slippe
d it over his head. “Not yet,” he murmured to her as he reached out to help her up.

Kera took his hand and let him lead her back to bed. He curled around her back and locked her against him tightly. Soon their breathing evened out and Kera let herself fall asleep.