Shifting Gears: The Complete Series (Sports Bad Boy Romance) (61 page)

“Hmm,” I hoped that sounded sympathetic.

“I don’t think it’s the first time. He
says he’s playing sometimes and when I show up at the bar, he’s not there, or
he sneaks out from the back right before some little skank comes skulking out.
Why? Tell me why he would want to be with that trash when he has all this
waiting for him at home.” She actually held her arms out when she said, “All
this.” She was really something.

“Mmm,” I said.

“I think I’m just too good to them. I give
them everything they want…whenever they want it…however they want it, if you
know what I mean…” I did, and now I was nauseated. I kept silent. That one
didn’t even call for a sound. She didn’t mention what they had all done for
her. “They take it all and then they leave me…they all leave me in the end…”

Finally I said, “That’s too bad, Mom.” She
continued to ramble on for a while. It was all “woe is me.” She acted like
everything that happened to her was someone else’s fault. The universe was out
to hurt her…she never took responsibility for doing anything wrong…it’s the way
she’d always been. I should thank her…it made me go the opposite direction. I
took responsibility for everything, even things that I shouldn’t. I was
relieved when my apartment complex came into view. I was fed up with listening
to her broken record.

We pulled up in my spot in the lot and she
proved she wasn’t done annoying me by saying, “Justin called me last night. He
really wants you to call him.”

“No! Damn it, Mom. Why are you even still
taking his calls? You said you’re not buying from him any longer…a recovering
addict does not need a dealer on speed dial, and I do not want to talk to him.”

“I don’t like the way you throw around
that word…addict. But anyways, he misses you, baby. I feel sorry for him. He’s
not trying to sell me anything. He just needs someone to talk to. He’s all
alone…you’re alone…”

“I’d rather be alone than with a man like
that. God, Mom! You of all people know what I went through with him.” I got out
and started taking her luggage out of the car. She came around to help and
said, “Do you have someone else, honey? Is that why you won’t at least call
him?”

“No, I don’t have anyone, but that’s not
the point anyways. I do not want Justin and I’m just appalled that any mother
on this earth would try and force her daughter into a relationship with a drug
dealer. Even being his friend would be too much and you know it.” I grabbed the
bags and headed for the apartment. She followed me and when we were inside I
dropped them and she said, “I just hate to see you alone, honey. You’re so
pretty. You should have a man around to appreciate you…while you’re still
young.”

“I don’t need a man in my life to define
who I am, Mother. I’m happy and I don’t feel lonely. I have a good life and
lots of friends. None of whom deal drugs. I have to go to work. The room is all
ready for you. Help yourself to whatever you want in the kitchen; I’ll be back
in a few hours.”

“Maybe you could just call Justin and say
hello. You don’t have to go out with him or anything if you’re with someone
else….” I closed the door behind me, cutting her off. She’d been in my presence
for less than an hour and I already wanted to kill her or myself. I wasn’t sure
which. It was probably good that I didn’t have a weapon right at that second,
or we may have found out.

I left her with her things in her new room
and I headed for work. I was thankful that it was the one place that I could
get some peace.

*******

I walked into my “peaceful place” just in
time to see Paul throwing a right hook at Mark. I was shocked for a few
seconds, wondering if it was a sparring match and maybe it had just gotten out
of hand. I saw Mark dodge it and throw one back. It almost connected with
Paul’s jaw and the look in Paul’s eyes as they focused on Mark’s face told me
they weren’t playing. I looked at Victoria who was standing behind the counter.
She had a helpless, horrified look on her face. “I didn’t know what to do; they
just hooked up all of a sudden.”

“Where the hell is everyone?”

“Greg’s in the back. Sam and Jeff aren’t
here.”

The other gym patrons were watching as if
it was an MMA match. Three or four other grown-ass muscled-up men and no one
was trying to stop it. Idiots! I went over and called out to Paul. He didn’t
answer me, being as he was too busy taking an upper-cut to his chin. So I tried
Mark who was also otherwise occupied. Finally I just stepped between them and
nearly took Paul’s fist to my gut. Thank God for his quick reflexes. His face
was bleeding and he’d worked up a sweat. I could hear Mark panting behind me
and talking shit. “Damn it, Jessie! I almost hit you!” Suddenly I was the one
being stupid. Men!

“What the hell is going on?” I asked him.
Paul didn’t answer me. He wiped at the blood on his face with the back of his
hand and continued to glare at Mark. Making sure I stayed between them I turned
and looked at Mark. “You want to tell me what the hell this is about?” He chose
the silent glare as well. “Okay, fine. Mark, you go home. You’ve had your
work-out. You can come back tomorrow when you’ve cooled down. This is only
going to keep going if you stay here and someone is going to get hurt or in a
lot of trouble.”

“Why do I have to leave? He started it!”

“I wouldn’t have if you didn’t have such a
big-fucking mouth!” Paul said. They tried to go at each other again and I
pushed on Paul’s chest with all my might. He was so fucking solid that it was
like pushing against a wall. I finally succeeded in pushing him a step back.

Then as I kept my back against him so I
could feel if he moved, I turned back to Mark and said, “Go, home, Mark. Now!
Otherwise I’ll get Greg to deal with this and you’ll both lose your privileges
altogether. You know he won’t tolerate this shit. Come back tomorrow in a
better mind-set and we’ll forget this happened.”

Mark mumbled under his breath but I
watched as he picked up his towel and his water and got his bag and left. I
turned back to Paul who still hadn’t stopped glaring at him. He was even
staring him down through the glass window as Mark go into his car. I shook my
head and said, “In the office, now.” He started to argue but the look on my
face must have told him I was serious. He headed for the office and I followed
him. I thought this must be what it was like to be the principal at a boys’ school.
Way too much testosterone. Victoria handed me the first aid kit as we walked
past. I thanked her and followed Paul into the office and closed the door
behind us.

“What the hell was that about?”

“Nothing,” he said. He looked like an
insolent child. I opened the first aid kit and found some sterile gauze. I
opened the package and poured saline from the bottle in the kit on it. Then I
pressed it to the cut on his cheek. He winced. I held it there until it stopped
bleeding and then while I was cleaning up the dried blood I tried again.

“I thought you and Mark were friendly?” He
shrugged, still like a pouting child. “What did he say that pissed you off so
much?” He shrugged again. I sighed and pat his face dry with clean gauze before
applying a butterfly bandage to close the cut. “I don’t think it needs
stitches.” I dropped down into the seat next to him and said, “Please talk to
me.”

“He’s just an idiot sometimes. I guess I
shouldn’t have gotten so mad.”

“You think? You can’t just punch people
for pissing you off.”

He rolled his eyes and said, “I know that.
I was just a little stressed out already and he started saying things about…”

“About what?”

“Nothing, it doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t
have hit him although I think he deserved it.”

“Tell me what he said.” I wanted to
understand if this was just an anger management problem or if Mark had really
gone too far.

“He was just talking stupid shit about…he
said something about ‘tapping’ your ‘sweet ass.’”

“Me?” I was truly shocked. Mark rarely
made lewd comments to me. He was usually one of the more respectful clients.

“Yeah. He said that he noticed we were
spending a lot of time together and that when I got to “tap it” if I hadn’t
already, I should let him know how it was; if it would be worth his time
pursuing it. Fucking moron.”

“Wow that surprises me. Thank you for
defending me, but truly, you shouldn’t have punched the guy.”

He sighed and with a genuinely remorseful
look he said, “I know.”

“Is it all the stress with Marie and
Mitch?” I was hoping that’s what it was. I hoped that he didn’t have a
legitimate anger problem.

“Yeah, that and trying to still
concentrate on what I need to do in order to win this championship title and
you coming into my life….”

“Me? I’m causing you stress?” I was a
little offended by that. I hadn’t put any kind of pressure on him at all as far
as I was concerned. I had even helped him with his sister.

“Yeah, I mean…it’s hard to explain but I
don’t usually talk to people about my life and how I’m feeling or what’s going
on with my sister, things like that. For some reason I feel comfortable sharing
all of that with you and sometimes I worry that I’m sharing too much.”

“I’m not going to tell anyone what you
tell me, if that’s what you’re worried about.” I was still a little insulted,
but it was nice to know he felt comfortable with me.

“I know. I don’t think you would…I’m
sorry. It’s just new and that’s where the stress is coming from.”

I took his hands in mine and leaned toward
him. “Don’t let me add to your stress, okay? Just trust that anything you tell
me will be kept in confidence and I will never judge you.”

He leaned in too and kissed me. I loved
the way his lips felt on mine. They were so soft, yet something about them was
powerful as well. He pulled back and looked into my eyes. He looked like he was
going to kiss me again but his phone rang. He looked at the face and then put
it to his ear and said, “Hello?” He listened for a few seconds and then said,
“Calm down…I can’t really understand you.” He pulled his eyebrows together in the
middle and I could see that he was worried by whatever the caller was telling
him. “Okay, it’s going to be okay.” His words were reassuring but there was an
undertone of panic in them. “I’ll be right there. Stay there.” He hung up the
phone and said, “I have to go, Jessie. We’ll talk later.” I watched him open
the door and leave. I had no idea what was going on, but I hoped that
everything would turn out all right.

CHAPTER
SEVEN

I hung out at the gym helping Greg out
with his clients and doing some office stuff for a few more hours after Paul
left. I kept hoping he’d take care of whatever was going on and come back. I
just wanted to know that everything was okay. I called him about an hour after
he left but he didn’t answer. I didn’t leave a message. I called him again
after two hours and this time when voice mail kicked in I said, “Hey, I’m not
trying to be intrusive, just worried. Call me please.”

At around two o’clock I hadn’t heard back
from him and I finally decided he wasn’t coming back. I sent him a text that
said:

“Leaving
work. Please let me know all is well.”

I got my stuff together and said goodnight
to Greg and Victoria and decided that I’d drive by his apartment and see if he
was there. I felt a little bit like Mitch…like a stalker, driving by to spy on
him. But if he was there, I planned on stopping, just to make sure that he was
okay. When I got to the apartment the first thing I noticed was that his big
truck wasn’t in its usual spot. That truck was hard to miss, but I drove
through the rest of the lot just to make sure. When I saw it wasn’t there, I
just went on home.

My mom was sitting on my couch watching
television when I got home. She had fixed herself all up and looked like she
was ready for a night on the town. When I was little and I’d asked her once why
she looked so pretty to just stay at home, she told me, “What if there’s a
fire, honey? Firemen are very handsome. I wouldn’t want them seeing me looking
like a mess.”

“Hey, Mom.”

“Hi, Jessie. How was work?”

“It was okay. Did you find something for
lunch?”

“I did. I ate what looked to be your
leftovers from last night. Good chicken, amazing peanut sauce. You didn’t make
all that just for yourself, did you?”

My mother, the detective. I chose not to
answer her and instead I asked, “Do you have enough room for your things in the
dresser and closet in there?”

“Yes, baby. You don’t have to worry about
me, I’ll be fine. Oh, I put your laundry in the dryer. Fancy dinner and she
washed her sheets.”

“Mom, don’t start.”

She put her bottom lip out and said, “I
don’t know why you won’t talk to me.”

“About what, Mom? There’s nothing to talk
about.”

“I’m a woman too. I know the signs of a
man being around. Why not just tell me about him. Why are you hiding him?”

“I’m not hiding anyone, Mom. Let it go,
okay?” I went into the kitchen, then, to look for something to eat myself. My
mother followed me and I could feel her eyes boring into the back of my head. I
finally just snapped. “Knock it off! I’m twenty-three years old! All of a
sudden you want to be a mother and I’m supposed to just know how to have that
relationship with you? I have no experience with that.”

“What do you mean? Why are you yelling at
me?”

With a heavy sigh I said, “I’m sorry. I
shouldn’t have yelled at you…but you need to let it go.”

“Wow! You won’t even consider calling
Justin yet you’re sleeping with a man you have to hide.”

“Oh, that’s it! I’m not like you, okay!
Not at all! And in case you were wondering, that was no accident. I practiced
my whole life to make sure it didn’t happen. You were the last thing I ever
wanted to be. You’ve always been addicted to men. You think your looks entitle
you to things and you don’t have to work for them…and you’re a drug addict! So
no, I have no experience with having a good mother…the kind you want to talk to
about things. You were a horrible mother and sometimes I don’t know why I don’t
just hate you for it!”

I was so passionately ranting that I
didn’t even realize that my mother had tears streaming down her face. It wasn’t
that it meant much. She was a drama queen and an addict; she could turn them
off and on at the drop of a hat.

She didn’t say a word. Instead she turned
and walked out. I followed her, suddenly feeling terrible for saying such
horrible things to her…even if they were true. “Mom,” I called after her. She
ignored me and went into the bathroom. Just as I stepped up behind her the door
closed in my face and I heard it lock.

“Oh geez, Mom…really? This is really not
very mature of you. If you’re angry with me just come out and tell me so.”
There was no sound coming out of the bathroom. I reached out and tried the
handle but I had been right, it was locked. “Come on, Mom. You’re being
ridiculous. I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings, okay?”

“Hmph!”

I rolled my eyes. She couldn’t see me.
“Mother, this is ridiculous. You’re acting like a child!”

“I guess I have a history of it,” she
said. “Maybe that’s what makes me such a horrible mother! I haven’t taken a
single pill in months and since you never come around, you would have no idea
how hard that is for me! I just lost the only person in the world other than
you that I thought cared about me and now you tell me what a bad mother I’ve
been…”

God, she was a master at the guilt thing.
I felt a pang beginning in my chest and I knew she had won. It was the reason I
usually didn’t say anything at all. She always ended up winning. “Mom.” My tone
was less hostile now, apologetic, I hoped. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m just
having a bad day. I didn’t mean it.”

“Words hurt more than a slap in the face,”
she said.

“I know, I’m truly sorry. Please come out
here and talk to me.” Before she could answer me, my phone rang. “Shoot! Mom,
I’m going to get that because I’m waiting for a call…about work,” I lied. “I’ll
be right back.” I went in the living room and picked up my phone. It was Paul.
“Hey! Are you okay? Is Marie okay?”

“Can you meet me by the lake where we swam
that day?”

“Yeah…sure. Is everything okay? What
happened?”

“I’ll be at the lake in fifteen minutes.
Meet me there, okay? I’ll explain it all to you then. And Jessie…”

“Yeah?”

“Please make very sure that you’re not
followed, okay? Mitch has been driving a brown four-door car…but he could be in
anything. If it looks like anyone is following you, don’t come.”

“Okay, but…” Before I could say anything
else, the line went dead. I was beginning to feel like I was trapped in a spy
novel.

I heard the bathroom door crack open just
then. I went over and looked my mother in the face and tried to remember all of
the good things about my life…there were a lot. “I’m truly sorry, Mom. I love
you. Thank you, for everything you have done for me. Thanks for being my mom.”

She started crying again and hugged me. “I
love you too.”

“Good,” I told her with a smile. “I have
to go meet a client, but I’ll be back in a bit and we’ll figure out dinner,
okay?”

“Okay,” she said with a smile.

********

I walked outside and surveyed the parking
area and the street along my apartment complex. I didn’t see any brown cars.
Remembering what Paul said, I looked again as I walked to my car at each and
every other one, trying to make sure they were all empty. There was one with a
lady and a baby inside and one with a teenage boy on his phone. Neither of them
looked like Mitch, or a cop. I still felt paranoid as I got into my car and
drove toward the lake. I even slowed as I passed the gym to see if anyone
behind me might think I was turning in there. The other cars seemed annoyed
with me, but otherwise not interested. I found a spot to park near the entrance
to the lake and hiked along the little path the rest of the way there. Paul
wasn’t there yet.

I stood facing the lake with all sorts of
scenarios playing out in my head. I was afraid for him and his sister and his
nephew…and maybe even me just a little bit. When I heard Paul walking up behind
me I startled and turned around so quickly that I almost fell into the lake.
“Hi,” I said. His face looked drawn with worry.

“Hi. Thanks for coming.”

“Of course. I’ve been so worried.”

He reached out and softly brushed a piece
of hair off my face and tucked it behind my ear. It was a simple gesture, but
so intimate that it made me shiver a little. “I’m sorry we’ve worried you.”

“Don’t be sorry. I wouldn’t be worried if
I didn’t… If you weren’t my friend.” I was about to say, “Care about you,” but
that had so many connotations that I didn’t think we were ready for yet.

“Mitch found out where Marie was staying.”

“Oh my God! How? Is she okay?”

“We’re not sure. I think he found out
where Victor was going to school and maybe followed them home from there.
Sensei was there, thank goodness and he threatened to call Mitch’s supervisor
if he didn’t leave. He left, but he’ll be back.”

“What is she going to do?”

“I have to take them away again. They’re
going to have to start over again.” His fists were balled up next to his sides
and I knew how angry that made him without hearing him speak the words. It
suddenly dawned on me that he had said, “I have to take them away.”

“You’re going too?” He looked sad, but
determined.

He nodded and said, “I have to. They need
me. I have to get them to some place safe and get them settled. Marie has a
really hard time getting a job…her history is so sketchy with jobs from one
town to the next and leaving them with no notice…she can’t get government aid
because Mitch just uses it to track her.”

“What about the police, Paul? Can’t they
help you?”

“I don’t trust them. Mitch has told them
all that Marie stole Victor for no reason. He has the old evidence against her
that he kept…and he keeps telling me that he can have me arrested in a
heartbeat and make the charges stick.”

“The charges? What can he make stick?” I
was confused.

“He says he’ll frame me. He’ll do
something and make it look like it was me, set me up.”

“Oh my God. What a horrible man.” I knew
that was stating the obvious, but I was just appalled. Poor Paul…this was no
way to live his life…. “Oh shit! What about your fights?”

“They’ll have to stay on hold for
now…until we get rid of Mitch somehow.”

“Oh, Paul,” I put my hand on the side of
his face. I felt so bad for him and so helpless. I didn’t want him to go for me
as well. I was just getting used to him. He put his hand over mine and then
slid it across his lips and kissed it. Then he leaned in and kissed me on my
lips and said, “I’m sorry, Jessie.”

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault,” I said.
My heart was breaking for him. It had to be so hard to keep starting over.
“Please be safe.”