Shifting the Night Away (2 page)

He had already started to stand when he told him, "I'll try, Dr. Stevens, I'll try."

William looked down after he left and noticed that his name was written on the top file folder in bright red letters. He only hoped he hadn't noticed.

Chapter Three

William had just finished a phone interview with some high gloss magazine with a name he didn't bother to catch. It rarely mattered to him where he was featured lately. The bell that hung on the door to the therapy room chimed, signaling Lance's entrance.

He opened the adjoining door to see him in tight dark jeans and a white tee that strained against his hard muscles. For a moment, the doctor couldn't breathe. His inner bear cried out for him and a deep ache rested in his chest. It was then he realized that this was who he was meant for; his fated mate.
What sweet agony is it that I'm to be fated to someone who can't tolerate or trust a male human touch?

"Lance, you look well. Did the anxiety fade?" he managed to squeak out as he adjusted the growing bulge in his own trousers.

"Not really, I get myself worked up the day before coming here because I know it's going to be me facing everything I try to avoid during the week."

"Progress is difficult, but you're doing well. Don't fear letting go of that wall you're building. Now there are a few things I'd like to touch on that you said in our last session."

Lance lay back onto the fine leather chaise lounge letting the softness engulf him. While Dr. Stevens didn't require his clients to lay there, Lance felt more comfortable and more secure there if he did.
 
He exhaled slowly and waited for what he wanted to know.

"Ok Lance, let's go back to that night. You're saved. Your attacker is incapacitated and you're free of him. Now, I want to know about the scream, the fear that is in you. Focus on that. Where is that coming from; the realization of the attack, the sight of your attacker so badly damaged, or the bear you saw that saved you?"

William held his breath for the answer. He so badly wanted not to be the cause of his years of torment.

"Well I think it was everything hitting at once really. I've never thought of why I was afraid and what part of it was the cause, actually."

"Let's go over that today then."

For the next hour, they discussed each aspect. By the end of the session there were no clear cut answers, but they were closer to the truth. Lance seemed less burdened, but still recoiled when he offered him his hand to shake at the end of the meeting.

"Sorry Lance, it's automatic for me to shake hands afterwards. Meant no harm," he said as he wiped his palm on the side of his suit pants.

"No, I'm sorry Doctor. I guess even though I know you're a professional and that you're going to help me break this mindset I have, I still see you as a man."

A slight chuckle escaped William as he said on Lance's way out, "Well that's good. I am still a man after all."

He smiled back at him and blew a stray strand of hair off his face. It was a simple gesture that melted William. The bear heart inside him beat strongly for him, for it knew he was meant to be his fated mate; his soul trapped in human form. He wanted badly to kiss him, but knew that it would cost him much more than his license. It would cost both Lance's recovery and him his heart, and he wasn't willing to give either of those up.

Chapter Four

The phone startled William out of a sound nap at the clinic. A late night webcam session with a paranoid schizophrenic celebrity had kept him up as he managed to talk her down from setting her house on fire during her reality show.
Apparently off her medication again
, he thought, scheduling her for a week "vacation" at a local hospital.

He pulled his hands through his dark locks and thought of Lance. He had to admit that he was going to be a more difficult case than he originally thought, both with the patient's stout anxiety toward male touch and with his own lingering feelings for him.

He looked at his phone to see what had awakened him and viewed a text from a local news show.

We hear you've a client that has touch phobia and trying to work through sexual trauma, will you give a talk on that?

With several back and forth messages, he tried to scope out the angle they were looking for. While he was hesitant, they assured him that it would be anonymous and that they were only looking to highlight 'the new methods in today's psychotherapy'. In the end, William agreed to talk about his methods while only brushing on the case in theoreticals. They scheduled for two weeks out and he marked his calendar.

Perhaps I can actually transition from being resident doctor to celebrity train wrecks to being an a real respected psychotherapist
, he thought, grabbing coffee and taking a quick shower before heading into the front office.

Lance would be coming in earlier today than normal, and William found himself looking forward to it and lingered on what he may be wearing or if he'd still have that sweet scent he'd been wearing the past couple of sessions. William's bear always honed in on that scent, as it took him back to saving him. The day that he'd found his mate, and yet was powerless to do anything about it. What were the chances that so many years later, here he'd be.

He's breath-taking
, William thought, as she strolled in wearing a dark tailored suit. He tried not to notice how well it hugged his muscles and how his body shifted and moved beneath it. He'd missed him in the days between sessions; an attraction he couldn't act on.

"Ok Lance, today we're going to try something new. Some word association to get to some of your more core issues. Are you ready?"

"Yes, William, I mean Dr. Stevens," he blushed. While he was still repelled by men, he had found herself dreaming of Dr. Stevens the night before. He was pinned down by vines when the doctor came through the garden passage to save him. Well, in part. In the dream he couldn't actually
see
the good doctor, but he knew it was him. Of that he had no question.

"Tree"

"Pinned," he countered.

"Men"

"Attack"

"Hand"

"Cock"

"Bear"

"Fear"

"Tree"

"Bark"

"Men"

"Attack"

"Hand"

"Touch"

"Bear"

"Saved"

The last set came so quickly he didn't have time to even think. William did the last go through twice as quick, spitting them out like bullets at him in hopes of a changed response. While men stayed the same, his mind started to attach new words to the rest. A solid response opening for the session to explore why his answers changed, and why when he doesn't have any time to think about it that the items aren't as scary.

They talked over these things, touching on the single units of the attack instead of the entire thing. Taking the trauma and compartmentalizing it was not good, so William was explaining how they'd be 'unpacking' it and leaving it as the sum of its parts, not something greater.

With analyzing the words, his thoughts after he himself saw the change, the session ended on a good note. In fact, when William stuck out his hand, he shook it before he even realized it.

"Oh my god, I just shook your hand," He exclaimed.

"Yes, yes you did Lance," he smiled at him, pleased at this unexpected outcome.

His skin is so soft and he felt like fire and ice when he touched me
, he thought, still conflicted over his emotions of seeing him week to week.

Lance kept smiling while he looked down at his hand, stunned.

"Would you like to grab some coffee?" William asked as he stood frozen in the hallway, "I mean, you're my last client and I just was headed out. You could join me if you aren't busy."
 

He tried to make it seem like the most casual thing in the world and not that he just asked him out. He knew anything that felt like a major date-like commitment would make him run.

"Tribeca on 3rd?" he asked, grabbing his keys.

"Sure. Meet you there."

Chapter Five

Arriving before Lance, he took a seat in the corner of the cafe and waited. He had been only minutes behind him. Five minutes turned into ten. Ten into twenty. He was getting worried.
 

At the end of the half hour, he went up to the counter and ordered a double espresso, checking his phone rabidly for any word from him. Inside, his bear paced frantically and his blood pressure and heart rate rose. He needed to try to calm down; he needed to know if he was okay.

Just when he'd downed the coffee and was ready to call him, his phone lit up.

Today was a little much for me, and while I thought I could do coffee, I can't. I'm sorry.

He slumped back in his chair, defeat pouring through him like water. He completely understood. He was wrong to even suggest it, but he was so thrilled with his two breakthroughs in both the word association and the handshake, he didn't think it through. He was moving too fast for him. While it was just coffee, for him it was too quick and he kicked himself for suggesting it.

He rambled out of the cafe and back into the world, hoping that he'd have another chance someday.

He was just inside his home when his phone alerted him to a message again. Hoping it was Lance, he reached in his pocket and pulled it out, scrolling to see the message. It was not from him. The newscast was confirming him to be in their studios for the live session at the end of the next week. He thumbed in some words agreeing, and left the phone on the table while he took a long, hot shower and tried to forget his disappointment in himself for asking Lance out and him not showing.

The water felt good against his skin as his eyes closed and he replayed that night. He could remember it crystal clear, from what he wore to how he smelled. How that scent changed when his fear escalated. How his eyes looked at him as he disappeared into the tree line. He'd never used such violence before. Raised a pacifist, it was hard controlling his bear shifting in times of struggle. However once he saw the vile acts that the man was doing, and was about to do to Lance, William had no choice.

He wondered if he'd ever have the opportunity to tell him of his involvement, and if he'd even want to know.
 

He toweled off and went in, still naked, to relax in bed with the newest season of his favorite show and hopefully fall asleep there after.