Shipwrecked (3 page)

Finally, I leaned over and tapped on her.

“I think that means you, nose squeezer,” I said.

Lennie and Herbert laughed real loud.

They enjoy my humor.

After that, Mrs. Weller printed four rules on the board about how to stay healthy:

1. Do not share straws or glasses or forks or spoons!
   

2. Do not share food or drinks!
   

3. Keep your hands away from your mouth, eyes, and nose!
   

4. Wash your hands—OFTEN—with soap and water!
   

She put down the chalk and glanced over at Sheldon again.

“Oh, and I'm sorry to have to tell you this … but you can't really
hide
from germs, either,” she said. “So—for those of you wearing paper bags on your heads— there are probably thousands of germs in there with you.”

For a second, Sheldon sat as still as a statue.

Then, all of a sudden, he shouted real loud, “AAUUGGHH!” And he quick pulled off the bag!

Then he zoomed straight to the sink!

And he washed his hands and face with soap! Plus also, he washed his arms and his legs with a paper towel.

After that, he took off his shoes to wash his feet. But Mr. Scary said
no.

“We're not doing a full-body scrub, son,” he said. “Your face and hands are enough.”

Sheldon looked upset.

“But germs can get on other places, too,” he said. “Like what if someone drools on your arm? Or what if you get burped on? Or what if you fall down on top of a sick person, and he sneezes germs right directly up your nostrils?”

Mr. Scary rolled his eyes. “Come on, Sheldon. Now you're just being silly,” he said. “I've been around a long time. And believe me, no one has
ever
sneezed germs directly up my nostrils.”

After that, he took Sheldon's hand. And he sat him down again.

Pretty soon, Mrs. Weller had to go back to her office. But before she left, she took us to the sink. And she showed us the right way to wash our hands.

Room One lined up and washed very perfect.

Then we waved goodbye to Mrs. Weller. We were sad to see her go. ’Cause now we had to do schoolwork, probably.

Only here is what we didn't even
know
.

Mr. Scary had a happy announcement! And he'd been waiting all day to tell us!

“Boys and girls, I know we had a pretty rough morning. But I think I have some news that will cheer you up,” he said.

He smiled. “In two weeks, our school is having an event called
Parents' Night.
Have any of you ever heard of Parents' Night before?”

Lennie quick raised his hand.

“I have!” he said. “My sister told me all about it. She said Parents' Night is the night when parents come to school and they poke their nose in your business.”

Mr. Scary did a little frown.

“Yes, well, I don't really think that's the best way to put it, Lennie,” he said. “Your parents don't come to poke their noses in your business. Parents are interested in what we do here in school. So sometimes they like to come to the classroom and—”

“Spy on us,” said José.

“Butt in where they don't belong,” said Shirley.

“Invade our own personal space,” said Sheldon.

Mr. Scary closed his eyes a second.

Then he walked back to his desk real slow. And he sat down in his chair. And he ran his fingers through his tired hair.

“Okay. I'll get right to the point,” he said. “This year for Parents' Night, I thought it would be fun to do something special. So I was wondering how you would feel about putting on a
play.
”

My ears perked up at that word.

“A play?” I said kind of thrilled.

“A play?” said Herbert and Shirley.

“A play?” said May.

Then, all at once, Room One started clapping and clapping.

“A PLAY! A PLAY! A PLAY!” we shouted. “YAY! YAY! A PLAY!”

I springed out of my chair.

“I know a
lot
about plays, Mr. Scary!” I said. “On account of last summer I went to a real, actual children's theater. And I saw a play about a mouse. And that thing was a hoot, I tell you! And so maybe
we
can do a mouse play, too!”

Mr. Scary smiled. “Yes, well, I'm sure a mouse play would be fun, Junie B. But since it's October, our play is going to be about Christopher Columbus,” he said. “We celebrate Columbus Day this month, remember? So Parents' Night will be perfect timing.”

I thought it over a second.

Then I shook my head no.

“Nope, sorry. I think a mouse play is still the way to go here,” I said.

Mr. Scary said
thank you
for my opinion and
please sit down
.

I tapped my foot kind of annoyed. Then I gazed my eyes around the room.

“Okay. Who would rather do a mouse play? Please raise your hands,” I said.

Mr. Scary snapped his fingers at me.

Snapping means the conversation is over, I believe.

I sat down.

That day when I got home from school, Mother was already back from work.

I like it when that happens.

She was in the kitchen with my dog named Tickle.

I gave her a paper Mr. Scary sent home about the play.

Her face smiled when she read it.

“Oh boy! Your class is going to do a play for Parents' Night, huh?” she said. “How fun!”

I shrugged my shoulders.

“Yeah, only it would be funner if it was a mouse play,” I said. “But Mr. Scary says it has to be about dumb old Columbus Day.”

Mother kept on reading.

“Oh, and look at
this
,” she said. “It says that over the weekend you're supposed to look up facts about Columbus and his ships. And whoever has the most facts will get to choose their part first.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Fact number one,” I said. “Columbus is not a mouse. And so I don't even care about being in this dumb play.”

After that, I turned around. And I clomped out of the kitchen kind of grumpy.

Tickle clomped with me.

We were almost to my room when my mother called after me.

“I just don't
get
it, Junie B.,” she hollered. “I thought you always wanted to be a
star
!”

I stopped clomping.

Tickle stopped clomping, too.

“A
star
?” I said. “Whoa. I never even thought about
that
situation
.
”

I quick turned around and zoomed back to the kitchen.

“A
star
?” I asked. “I could really be a star, do you think? Like the one and only
star of the whole entire production, you mean?”

Mother grinned.

“Well … maybe not the one and
only
star,” she said. “But still, if you bring in the most facts about Columbus, you'll be able to choose any part you want.”

Just then, my legs jumped all around very excited.

“The
star
part, Mother!” I said. “I am going to choose the
star
part!”

I quick grabbed her hand.

“Let's go! Hurry! Hurry! We have to go to the library to get my facts straight!”

Mother undid my hand.

“Sorry, honey. But we can't go now,” she said. “Ollie's right in the middle of his nap. And I don't have a babysitter.”

I slumped my shoulders very glum.

“Darn it,” I said. “Darn it, darn it, darn it. That dumb old baby ruins everything.”

Mother wrinkled her eyebrows at me.

“Ollie's not dumb, Junie B.,” she said. “And besides, you and I can go to the library tomorrow. Tomorrow will be plenty of time for you to collect your facts.”

She stood there for a minute.

“Or,”
she said, “if you want to do it right now … we can look up some Columbus facts on the computer. How does that sound?”

I grabbed her hand again and pulled her to her desk.

“Perfect!” I said real squealy. “That sounds perfect!”

And so me and Mother sat down at her desk. And she typed the name of
Christopher Columbus
on her computer.

And wowie wow wow!

A jillion pages came up about that guy! ’Cause he was famouser than I thought!

There were easy pages. And hard pages. And shortie pages. And longie pages. And picture pages. And poem pages. And there were even song pages!

Me and Mother read the pages out loud together. I read the easy pages. And she read the hard ones.

Then I wrote down lots of important facts we found out. And before I even knew it, I had
eighteen
whole facts printed on my paper!

I jumped down from my chair very thrilled.

“Eighteen! Eighteen! I have eighteen whole facts! And eighteen is more than my wildest dreams!” I said.

Then I hugged Mother real joyful.

And me and Tickle skipped to and fro.

And far and wide.

And round and round and round.