Shiri (38 page)

I

Sometimes even heroes cry.
The whip bit deep, but still, he made no sound.  His master’s voice echoed in his ears. “It matters not if you hold your tongue, Joshua. It matters not if you scream. All that matters is you bleed.”

The boy knew his terrible crime. Knew what such foolishness would earn him. But he’d done it all the same. He’d met his master’s eye and held his gaze, met his eye and refused to kneel.

Beyond the whip, beyond even the voice, Joshua could hear them singing, the
ibis
of the river. He tried to go to them, tried to fly from the pain. A moment he was with them, soaring in the skies. And then it struck again. In silence he fought the writhing snake in his master’s hand. But that terrible pain, that poisoned kiss – too much. 
Sometimes even heroes cry.

He remembered Old Reuben’s words.
Go, Joshua. Run to your hidden place, the pain can’t find you there.
And so Joshua ran, ran to seek the refuge of his mind, ran to seek his memories.

When he was eight he’d run for real; the pleasure of his master’s whip his only reward. When he was nine he ran again and was caught again, this time he was beaten to the brink of death. Six moons later he ran a final time.

That was the day his master learned how to break him.
A mother’s tears sting worse than any flail.
Joshua had been forced to watch as she took the beating in his stead. The slave master stripped her naked, thrashed her soft body until it bled, lashed her to the forked stick of punishment and left her roasting in the sun. Joshua remembered the flies feasting on her broken flesh, remembered her gentle sobs. As he nursed her back to health he swore his days of running were at an end.

It was then he’d realised the truth of it.
Death is the only freedom for the slave.
His father knew such freedom well. Joshua couldn’t remember how he’d died. She never spoke of it. Even as he kissed her cheeks and dried her tears she never spoke of it. Even as he cleaned her bloody stripes and answered her quiet sobs with his own, she wouldn’t speak of it – couldn’t speak of it.

Old Reuben had said a little at least, “He died a man and that’s all you need to know.” Others said more. About the campfires he’d heard the whispers. He died not just a man, but a hero, his last words for his son. Joshua couldn’t recall those words, but he knew they were something epic, something heroic, something defiant. By night he imagined he heard them still.
Better to die on your feet than live on your knees. Better to fight than kneel. Better to fall than yield.

But sometimes Joshua dreamed of different words. Sometimes he could almost grasp them. Sometimes he saw cracked and bloody lips struggle and wheeze. Sometimes he saw tears in a hero’s eyes. He saw Old Reuben
–
not so old then. He held a wide eyed child before a dying man. He heard that man say a name, a wife’s name, a mother’s name. ‘Keep her safe, Joshua, forget all else and keep her safe. No hero’s death for you.  Swallow pride and dream no more of freedom … swallow pride and hold her hand, stay always by her side and keep her safe. Keep her safe, Joshua … keep my princess safe.’

His master’s scourge struck again and he was back, back to that fearsome, awful hurt. Old Reuben had lied. There was no place to hide; no inner sanctum from the pain.
Sometimes even heroes cry.

Those tears came in silence, a silence met by laughter. His master was skilled with tongue as well as whip. “You were born a slave, Joshua, and now you cry like one, will you beg as well? Beg as your father did before you?”

Through his tears a foolish hero broke his silence, “He … he did not beg … never begged.”

He heard his master take a breath, heard the leather groan in his hand, sensed him tighten his grip. Joshua gritted his teeth against the blow.  “You will live as a slave, Joshua, forever a slave.” The leather ripped the air before slashing his shoulders. “You were born a slave and you will die a slave.”

Three more times Joshua felt the lash before his master paused to mop his brow and study his work. Kontar fancied himself an artist and today the youngling’s flesh was his canvas. “That’s how it was for your father, Joshua.” He shrugged before turning his full weight into the next strike. “That’s how it was for your father’s father.” The boy met the blow with a gasp, an involuntary intake of breath. His master’s lip curled with some small satisfaction. “And that’s how it will be for you.”

The slavemaster dug his feet into the dry earth. He let the whip hang idle at his side for the briefest moment and then let fly, one final blow, harder than all the rest. He ever ended thusly when dealing in justice. The strike sent forth a spray of blood.
Kontar leaned in to inspect the slave’s sundered flesh, before with a grunt he turned and tossed the flail to his Nubian
ghaffir
. He paced away without a backward glance.

The Nubian loosed his bonds and Joshua fell to all fours. He stayed there a while, fists clenching the earth, teeth clamped tight against the pain. Then, slowly, he rose. He’d taken worse beatings before. He heard a soft footfall behind him, felt her hand touch him gently, heard anger in her voice. “Why do you do this, Joshua?”

He looked past her, stared after
him
. She kissed his forehead, a mother’s kiss, yet more. Her lips lingered there an age and then her tears came anew. He was taller than her now, almost a man to look at him.  She nestled her head against his shoulder. “Don’t give him the excuse, Joshua.”

He dragged his eyes from his master and she looked up to meet his gaze. She
was young in years but old in sorrow, beautiful once, happy once. But such things had been stolen from her, happiness a half remembered dream in the cold light of dawn. An ugly brand in the shape of a serpent marred one pale cheek and Joshua knew that beneath her robes, her back and shoulders were striped and scarred. Her life was one big wound, a winding path of tears and sorrow. “Old Reuben says heroes stand and fight, Mama. Heroes do not bow. Father did not bow.”

He saw a flash of anger in her eyes. “Listen not to that old fool, he speaks of the glories of courage but never the costs. What did courage gift your father? A shallow grave, a futile death? You would have the same as he?”

“But Reuben says he died a man … a hero … you would have me die a slave, a coward, kneeling for my master’s pleasure?”

“I would have you LIVE, Joshua!” She glanced about her, angry eyes seeking the old man before abruptly she let it pass and took a breath. “A hero’s death hurts only those the hero loves.”  She took his cheeks between her palms. “Joshua you … you seek to hurt
me
?”

He shook his head a little irritably.
She knows how to work me, knows how to twist her words to keep me forever on my knees.
“I …I’m sorry, Mama.”

“I love you, Joshua, love you as I’ve nev
er loved another, not even your…” She swallowed the words and looked briefly away. She took a cloth in hand and squeezed a little water from it. Gently she dabbed at his wounds. He grimaced ever so slightly and she met his eyes. “Each wound to you is a wound to me. Bow when he passes, Joshua. Bow and remember that we still have each other and what else do we need? We still have each other and always will, as long as you remember you were born a slave and a slave must kneel.”

Joshua nodded, “I was born a slave.” His eyes again looked past her and he firmed his jaw.
But I will not die as one.

Acknowledgements

I’ve got a lot of people to thank
.

First and foremost, my inspiration and the one
person without whom I’m sure this book would never have seen the light of day, Rachael. You’re my Red Queen.

My mother,
of course, I don’t know how you put up with my endless ramblings about it!

Richard, Drew,
Maria, Lisa, Ciara, Tom, Conor, Claire and Colin (you’re a cracking artist) you guys are great.

And
then there’s Nora, I started with your name and here I am ending with it too. It’s a shame you never got to see the final version, but your words and encouragement really helped make Shiri a reality.

Glossary of Terms

Amun/Amen
–Chief god of New Kingdom Egypt, often represented as ram.

Ammit
– A crocodile god believed to devour the heart of the wicked.

Anu
– Very ancient Sumerian sky god.

Anubis
– Jackal headed god of Mummification.

Apeth
– A being of pure evil, serpent of the underworld also known as Apothis. The closest thing to ‘the Devil’ in the Egyptian pantheon.

Arghul
– Musical instrument, effectively a double reed pipe.

Aton
– The ‘One God’ of the Amarna heresy.

Ba’al
– Represented as a bull or calf chief god of the Canaanites often associated with Seth by the Egyptians

Deben
– Copper or bronze rings of standard weights

Deshret
Crown – The desert crown – a red crown worn by the ruler of Lower Egypt.

Duat
– The underworld often depicted as a lake of fire where the wicked would be punished for their sins.

Faience
– A non-clay based ceramic, the surface of which has been heated to the point of melting, giving it a glass like appearance.

Feast of
Opet
– A festival in which the statues of the three gods of the Theban Triad, Amun, Khonsu and Mut are carried between Karnack and Luxor.

Ghaffir
– A guard.

Hapi –
Spirit of the Nile.

Hathor –
Goddess of fertility and motherhood.

Hellebore
root
–
Toxic plant, sometimes used to induce a miscarriage.

Henna
– Plant extract used for various purposes most commonly as a dye or make up.

Horus
– Son of Osiris and Isis. Represented as a man with the head of a falcon, god of Kingship.

Hyksos – ‘
The Shepherd Kings’ – Semitic Invaders/settlers that occupied northern Egypt for a protracted period before being defeated and expelled by the Pharaohs Ahmose and Kamose at the beginning of the 18
th
dynasty. The Hyksos capital was Avaris which was later rebuilt to become Pi- Ramses.

Ibis –
birds sacred to Thoth that migrate with the flood waters.

Isis
– Consort to Osiris, Mother of Horus.

Khensu
– A lunar god.

Khepresh
Crown – A blue crown worn by Pharaoh when leading an army in time of war.

Kohl
– Dark black makeup often used to outline the eyes.

Kophesh
– A curved blade or scimitar the standard sword of the Egyptian military from the 18
th
dynasty on.

Kyphi
– Type of incense.

Ma’at
– Goddess of truth and justice

Menat
– Necklace worn in honour of the goddess Hathor.

M
izmar
– musical instrument, reed pipe

Montu
– Hawk headed god of war

Osiris
– Lord of the dead, Mythical ruler of the primordial earth

Ptah
– Chief god of the Memphite Triad

Sekhmet
– ‘The Lady of Flame’ - Goddess of fire and disease.

Seth
- Brother and murderer of Osiris lord of the desert storms and chaos

Shasu
– A hodgepotch of nomadic tribes found primarily in the Sinai. Literally means people who travel by foot. The Shasu first come into prominence during a protracted series of running battles in the Sinai ‘
The Shasu Wars
’ of Seti I and later when they appear to have migrated further north into Canaan during Ramses II campaigns against the Hittites.

Sistrum
– Musical instrument consisting of a wooden frame and a series of small metal disks, similar to a modern tambourine.

Temple
of
Satis
– Built by Tuthmosis the Great, the temple was located on the island of Elephantine and measured and predicted the extent of the Nile floods.

Theban Triad
– Amun his consort Mut and son Khonsu

Thoth
– Ibis Headed god of wisdom, creator of the book of the dead.

Uraeus
Crown – Worn by Pharaoh, the lord of the Two Lands.