Shiv Crew (7 page)

“Well, of course she’s in,” Ellis
said. Then he gave Rune a rueful, apologetic look. “I mean, isn’t she, Rune?”

“I should have called the crew in
to watch that.” They’d never believe it unless they witnessed it. “But yes.
She’s in.”

There was a collective sigh of
relief, then the twins ushered the newest Shiv Crew member out the door.

“Shiv Crew,” Rune muttered, “is
becoming a freak show.”

She and Ellis smiled at each other,
as proud as new parents.

Damn right.

MORTIFY

In the week after discovering her
parents were not only dead, but
vampire
dead, Rune took her break. She
locked her door, turned off her phone, and refused to let anyone other than the
pizza guy and Jeremy inside her home.

It was her way of refueling. Because
of all that had happened, if she hadn’t taken a moment to recuperate she might
have lost her mind. Her way of recovering wouldn’t have been understood by the
crew—by anyone, actually—so she just took a little vacation and left things to
Shiv Crew, Jeremy, and Ellis.

Ellie would take care of everything
for her. He’d explain to the new members of the crew that occasionally Rune
took a few days off.

And he’d say it with his cell in
his hand, his gaze constantly wandering to the display to make sure he got no
mysterious texts with a single word on the screen.

Blood.

Jeremy, junk food, and alcohol were
all the stimulation she wanted in that week. She could have spent the time in
some exotic locale but wasn’t willing to go far and didn’t want to leave
Jeremy.

When her doorbell rang at seven
that evening, she frowned. Jeremy should be arriving, but he’d simply have used
his key. Maybe he was carrying something and had no free hands.

Jeremy wasn’t the flowers and candy
type of guy, so if he carried anything it’d be booze and takeout.

She peered through the fisheye on
her door.
“Shit.”

“I know you’re in there, Alexander.
Open the door. I have to talk to you. If you’d answer your fucking phone I
wouldn’t be forced to show up at your house.” Then she muttered, “Fucking ugly
house.”

Rune wasn’t offended. Her house
was
ugly. But she was pissed. Her night was supposed to be stress free, not full of
the floater, Sherry.

Sherry rattled the doorknob. “Not
going away, so you might as well get this over with.”

Rune thumped her forehead against
the door. “What the fuck do you want that can’t possible wait a few days?”

Sherry lowered her voice. “I saw
you. At the purge.”

“Uh, yeah? I’m aware. I saw you too.”

“Open the door, Rune. You’ve been AWOL
for three days, and your fucking assistant refused to tell me anything.”

“I’m taking a short vacation.”

Dammit.
Jeremy was going to
show up any second, and the last thing either of them wanted was fucking Sherry
to see him there.

“I need to talk to you. And believe
me. You don’t want me talking about it out here where anyone can hear.”

“Fuck,” Rune bit out. “I need you
to get away from my house.”

“Fine. At the purge I saw your
eyes. I saw your eyes go red, and I saw, for one brief tiny second, the cutest
little pair of fangs—”

I will kill her.
Rune yanked
the door open so fast and hard that Sherry stumbled back, her eyes wide.

Rune stood in the doorway, aware a
low growl was escaping from between her clenched teeth but too angry to care. Sherry,
of all people, had glimpsed her monster.

Sherry righted herself but moved no
closer to the door. She held a gun in each hand, and they remained aimed at
Rune’s chest. She’d come knowing Rune was going to be pissed and willing to
risk it.

For a long, shocked moment she
stared at Rune’s face. “Fucking hell. Who beat the crap out of you?”

“Tell me what you want and get out
of here. But let me just say, your life is worth shit now.”

Sherry swallowed hard but didn’t
run. “You are a fucked-up bitch, Alexander.”

“And you are just fucked.”

Sherry’s eyes wavered, but her guns
kept her brave. “So I know what you are.” Then she looked at the sun and
frowned. “Somewhat,” she added.

“What. Do. You. Want.” She’d die
before she let Sherry see her shame.

“Five grand to start.”

Money. She’d risked her life for a
few bills. “Not going to do you a whole lot of good in hell, my friend.”

Sherry shrugged. “I don’t plan on
going to hell, at least not right away.”

Of course five grand would keep her
happy for a little while, and then she’d be back with her threats and her guns
and her knowledge. But who would believe her over Rune?

It was a chance she was willing to
take. She wasn’t giving money to the conniving piece of shit. “No.”

“Then I’ll go to Cross.”

“Sweetheart, he’ll kill you faster than
I will.”

“I heard rumors you’re fucking him.
Don’t you think he’d like to know exactly what he’s fucking?”

Rune started to shut the door.
Stupid bitch. She had nothing.

“I’ll tell him about your parents—that
they’re vampires. At least Daddy is. I sent Mommy to hell, didn’t I?”

Rune dug her fingernails into the
door, concentrating on the pain when one of them splintered under the pressure.
She had been doing so much better. Jeremy helped her get rid of the guilt, the
grief, the overflowing, crippling emotions.

But now here was Sherry, bringing
it all back up.

Sherry’s face was pale, looking odd
in contrast to the tan of her shaved head. And finally, Rune caught a spark of
desperation deep in her brown eyes.

That helped calm her.

“What’s your story, Sherry? Who do
you need to pay off?”

Shockingly, Sherry began to cry.
“Fuck you! Just give me the money. Give it to me, or I swear I’m not going to
stop until you’re tested and killed for being a fucking murderous monster.”

When she’d been too young to argue,
her blood had been drawn and tested innumerable times. Despite her Otherness,
there was no proof of it in her blood. Not that the lab could see, anyway.

And just then, Jeremy’s rented car
purred quietly down the street.

Fuck.
Fuck.

“Come back tomorrow and I’ll have
the money.”

Sherry’s eyes widened. “What?”

“You heard me. Now get the fuck out
of here.” She slammed the door in Sherry’s hopeful face.

That girl had shit going on, but
she’d fucked up by threatening Rune instead of asking for help. She’d come back
tomorrow, but she wouldn’t find Rune there with a fistful of cash.

She leaned against the door,
shaking. Images flashed, and she shook her head hard, trying to force them
away. She was sick.
Sick.

She should have gone to find her
father. The vampires would flee that nest for a few years. They’d find another,
safer nest. But if she talked to Llodra, she could convince him to hand over
her dad. She needed to talk to him. She needed to know things. To be forgiven
things.

Would it help? Maybe. Maybe for a
little while it would give her some relief, just as the punishments did. Maybe.

I killed them.

I made my parents vampires.

I’m a monster.

Shit.

She sank to the floor and crawled
into a corner, unable to beat back the images any longer. The awful, bloody,
gory images. She remembered her mother screaming. Didn’t she? What was her
father doing while Mama was screaming? The things she couldn’t remember her
mind made up, she was sure. She could no longer tell fact from fiction.

But the screams were real. The
blood was real.

When Jeremy touched her she
screamed. She hadn’t heard him enter the house—had forgotten all about him.

“Baby, baby. What has happened?” He
pulled her into his arms and rose, then carried her to the bedroom.

There were no sounds but the low
keening cries born of a broken mind, and she trembled with terror. She knew
this was going to be the last time she was sane, surely it was.

She was going to break. She was
going insane. And that right there was her deepest, biggest fear.

“You know how vampires tend to
go crazy eventually.”

Jeremy’s thoughtless words echoed,
over and over.

She was a type of vampire, wasn’t
she?

And she was going fucking crazy.
Who had put that in her mind, all those years ago? She couldn’t remember. She
just knew it was so.

“No,” she screamed.

“Open,” Jeremy said, his voice
calm. He flicked a pill into her throat, then another. “Shhh, Rune. Hush now.”

She could barely see. The crazy
always rendered her…crazy. She couldn’t speak coherently. She couldn’t do
anything but lie in the dark as she was attacked by her mind.

“I’ll fix it, baby. Hush now.”

He would. He always did.

In seconds he had her ankles and
wrists in the strong, silver cuffs attached to the metal railings of her bed.

Silver didn’t hurt Rune, but silver
hurt her monster. If her monster fought back, the cuffs would keep it from
escaping and killing Jeremy. Always thinking, was Rune.

Jeremy, her savior. He beat the
monster. He punished it. He controlled it. Though she liked to pretend Jeremy
knew nothing of her monster.

He knew only of her need.

And when she was being beaten and
hurt—because she deserved it for what she’d done, for what she was—she would
awaken tomorrow able to function. Happy, even. Relieved. That was her release.

Until the next time.

Tomorrow, she’d be able to breathe
again. After a week with Jeremy, she’d be a different person for as long as a
few months, maybe.

She’d have paid him if he’d wanted
money, but he didn’t. Jeremy enjoyed his work.

Too bad she had feelings for him,
because sometimes…sometimes part of her resented the hell out of him and what
he was willing and eager to do to her. She wanted to shoot him in the head and
laugh at his pain.

Jeremy grabbed one of her blades
from the dresser and began cutting the clothes off her body. The knife was sharp
and Jeremy was enthusiastic—she felt a searing pain and then the stickiness of
blood when he nicked her thigh.

Those
were the only touches
she needed.

Her monster opened its eyes at the
pain and breathed in the familiar scent of blood and the hated scent of Jeremy.
Her weak little monster.

When her clothes lay in shreds
around her, Jeremy placed the shiv on her belly and looked down at her with hot
blue eyes. He undressed quickly, impatiently throwing his things in a single
pile for quick retrieval later.

He grabbed the shiv and breathing
hard as his usual excitement and desire overtook him, lightly trailed the point
of the blade over her right breast.

“This is how I show my love,” he
whispered.

The drugs were working on her now.
They put her in a whole different place. It was just as dark as ever, but she
saw glimmers of hope shining like the sun in this darkness.

Oh yes, yes, she could get better. She
would
feel
better.

But something was different about
Jeremy this night, and even through the haze of drugs uneasiness crept through
her damaged mind.

She closed her eyes and
concentrated on what she wanted to say. Finally, after three attempts, she got
the words out. “What’s wrong?”

He smiled, pushing his blond locks
back with one hand as he continued caressing her skin with the knife. “Hard
day, baby. Real hard day.”

For both of us.
But she
could feel the controlled rage coming from him now, now that the drugs had
managed to stomp down some of her overwhelming fear. She could feel the hate.

“Careful,” she said, or tried to
say. Maybe it came out clearly and maybe it didn’t.

He ignored her.

Did she really want to die?

She flirted with death as though it
were an irresistible man and she wanted his embrace. But when it came down to
it, did she really want to begin her journey into the afterlife? Was she
finished, really finished, with
this
life?

“Jeremy.” Her mouth was so dry. Her
words were thick and chewy, like taffy. Bad taffy. She tugged at the cuffs.
“Water.”

“Shhhh, Rune. Hush.” With one
casual but quick movement, he slapped her already bruised face. “I’ll take care
of it like I always do. Tie you up and hurt you…makes you feel so fucking good,
doesn’t it, baby?”

Yesssss…

“And that,” he continued, “makes
you a fucked-up little cunt. But me, I aim to please.” He slapped her again,
harder.

The slaps were stirring her anger,
her outrage. Hurting her monster was one thing.  Humiliating her was another.

“Stop.”

“But honey, we always do it your
way. Let’s try something different. For kicks.” His grin stretched across his
flushed face, making him look like the monster he really was.

He slid his fingers between her
legs, rubbing with slow, heavy strokes.

She was helpless and at that
moment, responsible for nothing. Nothing. God, that felt good. She let go.

Letting go meant the memories would
come, the punishment would come, and she didn’t have to control a damn thing.

“Yes,” she said.

Not that it would have mattered if
she’d said no, not now. She knew that.

If he went too far he’d text the
prearranged word to Ellis, and Ellis would come take care of her. After all,
Jeremy wouldn’t want to lose her. She was his drug.

“Try not to kill me, you piece of
shit,” she whispered, and realized that maybe, just maybe, she was simply not
ready to die.

“Rune, Rune, oh God,
Rune
.”

She tried to open her eyes and
succeeded in getting one of them to open halfway. Just enough to see Ellis
looking down at her, his eyes wet, full of torment.

She did that to him.

I’m sorry.
If she could have
spoken, that’s what she would have said.

Half the bag of blood he’d hung had
already flowed into her veins, which was why she’d regained enough life to be
able to see him. To be aware.

Flashes of her experience with
Jeremy struck like lightning, there and gone, and she was aware of the effects
of the beating. Relief.

She could cry, and would, when she
was better. It was so nice to cry. Real tears tinged with pink.

She faded in and out. It was dark,
then light. Quiet, then loud. There was peace, then discord. Ellis leaned over
her, lying with his cheek on her chest. When he finally sat up, the entire side
of his face was covered with blood and gore.

“Who does this, Rune? Who
does
this?”

Me, baby. I do this.

“No more,” he whispered.

But she floated, floated on pain
and release and peace.

The next time she awakened, Ellis
sat in the chair he’d pulled next to her bed, his chin on his chest, asleep.

The pain roared over her.
Ouch.
She couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, and when panic began to set in, she closed
her eyes and concentrated on controlling it.
What the hell, Jeremy?

He hadn’t killed her, but there
were worse things than death. What if she didn’t heal this time? What if the
blood wasn’t enough?

Every time was a new discovery. Her
monster was the reason she was able to come back from Jeremy’s gruesome
ministrations…the monster plus the blood.

The blood made her high, made her
happy. Just like the punishments.

Her eyes shot open. “Ellis,” she
yelled, though what actually came out was a hiss.

Somehow, he heard.

He leaned forward, grimacing. “I’m
here.”

Another hiss.

“Don’t try to talk, sweetie.” He
smoothed her hair back. “Now that you’re…
awake
, I want you to just
listen.”

Shit.

He moved into the perfect position
for her to see him with her one good eye. The concern was there, in his sweet face.
But that wasn’t all.

He was raging mad.

“I don’t care about your past. I
don’t care that you have a monster inside you that you’re trying to…to torture
away. I don’t care that having the fuck beat out of you makes you find a little
peace.

“I don’t care. I’m way past that
point. See, what you’re doing is selfish.
Evil
selfish.”

Her heart began beating fast and
hard, and her already compromised vision clouded further with fog from tears
she was so rarely able to shed.
Damn it. I’m sorry.

He pressed his lips together and
took a deep breath through his nose. “I know you don’t think so, Rune, but
you’re a wonderful, amazing, beautiful person. I love you. Many people love
you.”

He took her hand, his thumb lightly
rubbing her skin, faster and faster. She doubted he was even aware he was doing
it, and she hadn’t the strength to pull away.

“I took pictures. I took pictures
of what was done to you. If I have to, I’ll show them to the crew and we’ll
force you into a hospital. You either do it voluntarily, or I’m going to make
you do it.

“You need help. That’s the bottom
line. You need a lot of help. And I aim to get it for you. You’ll be pissed at
me for a while, but that’s okay. You couldn’t possibly be angrier at me than I
am at myself. I should never have gone along with this. I should never have
rushed to save you without getting you some help. Yet I did. But what would you
do if I wasn’t here to save you, Rune? No more.

“I thought I owed you this because
you…because you saved me. You saved
me
. But I’m not saving you. I’m
making it easier for you to hurt yourself.”

He leaned forward, his face filling
her vision. He no longer looked like the sweet-faced little assistant she
trusted with her life.

“You go ahead and blink that one
good eye if you understand me, girl. Because if you don’t, I’ll keep talking
until you do.”

She didn’t want him to keep talking.

She blinked.

Even that exhausted her.

What the hell did Jeremy do to
me?

“Rest, dear. You have three days
before you’re expected back at work. You’re not going to be completely healed,
but you’ll live. Thank your
monster
for that.”

The next time she woke up she could
talk, and even move. Her first thought was of Ellis and his anger. Then she
thought of Jeremy. He’d nearly killed her. But she couldn’t put the blame on him,
not really. The whole fucked-up mess was her fault.

Dread made her clutch her stomach
when she remembered Ellis’s deadly earnest words. He was going to make her see
a shrink. Going into therapy was right up there with losing her mind.

It terrified her, the very notion.

The needle was no longer in her arm,
and no bags of blood hung beside the bed. She felt the amazing effects of the
blood, though. It was like coming out of darkness and confusion into light and a
curious sense of well-being. She didn’t know why—she only knew it was the
greatest feeling she could ever imagine.

Thank God Ellis’s mother was a
doctor and his father CEO of River County’s hospital. Ellis had ways of getting
blood.
And good drugs.

“Ellie?” Her voice was rusty but
strong enough. When Ellis didn’t come into the room she slid her legs out of
the bed, gingerly because she still hurt, and carefully because she had no idea
what was working and what wasn’t.

Ellis had dressed her in a hospital
gown, and it hung precariously from her shoulders. She felt light, as though
she’d dropped fifteen pounds.

Usually after a period with Jeremy she
was stronger than ever the next day, strong and full of life. But now, though
her mood was high, her body was weak.

“Let me ask you something.”

She squealed at the sudden
intrusion of Ellis’s voice, then laughed.

“You startled me, Ellie.”

“Why are you up?”

“I am tired of lying in bed. I was
coming to find you.”

He pulled her into his arms, gently,
and as always she let him hold her. She rarely had the heart to reject Ellis’s
hugs. She owed him much more than to stand still for a fucking hug.

Tired lines decorated his face and
dark circles lay like half-moons under his sad eyes. “Do you feel up to eating
a little?”

“I could.” Anything to make him
happy.

“Come into the kitchen. But first,
I want to show you something.”

She smiled. “What?”

He led her to the dresser. “Look in
the mirror, Rune.”

“No, thank you.”

“Rune. Look.” His voice was quiet,
but firm.

She sighed, then looked.

Stunned, she gasped. Her legs weakened,
and she grabbed the edge of the dresser to keep from falling.

She was disfigured. Her face was
cut and swollen and black. There were many bruises, and they bled into each
other to make one huge bruise. Her throat bore a ring of colors—purple, blue, red,
yellow.

They disappeared into the top of
her gown, but she didn’t want to see what that bit of fabric covered.

Her arms were more of the
same—bruises and long, healing cuts. Jeremy liked the shiv.

“He carved you up like a roast
chicken.” He shuddered. “Whoever you have doing this to you is full of evil, of
hate, and you let him take that hate out on you, Rune. How
could
you?”

She started to speak, but he held
his hand up to stop her.

“This time you nearly died. I think
you did die. I don’t know how you came back. Do you remember what I said to you
about getting help?”

She nodded.

“I found a clinic for you. It’s
exclusive, secluded, and the best in the country. They owe my father a favor.”

“I can’t, Ellis. I can’t tell
people what I am. What I do. How fucked-up—”

“Everything. You will tell them
everything.”

“Tell them I killed my parents?
Tell them that?”

“Yes, sweetheart.”

“They’ll report me.”

“Not these guys. You know I
wouldn’t recommend a place that wasn’t safe for you.”

She stared at her image, forcing
herself to look. What if they could help her? What if they could help her
accept herself? Not likely, but what choice did she have? Ellis was right. She
was being selfish. He was right about something else too. If she didn’t get
help, she was going to die.

“Okay, Ellie.”

For one second he looked almost
comically surprised. He hadn’t expected it to be that easy. “Oh, Rune. Thank
you.”

“Thank
you
, baby. You just
keep saving my life, even if I don’t think I want it saved.”

“I want to know his name.”

“Who?” But she knew who he meant.

“The one who does this. I want his
name.”

“I can’t tell you that.” If Ellis
so much as looked at Jeremy the wrong way, Jeremy would destroy him.

Right now she was feeling great, but
she knew the routine. She’d fall back into those lows, into that darkness, and
it would all happen again.

Unless by some miraculous chance,
she really was fixable.

“You have to start feeding, Rune.
That alone might—”

“No.” She went cold. “Do not.”

“I just don’t see the difference
in…” His eyes widened, and he put his fingers over his mouth.

“Don’t, Ellis.”

“Oh my God, why did I never see it
before?”

She didn’t want to know. “What?”
she bit out.
“What?”

“Part of the reason you do this is
to get the blood. You can get the blood while you’re out of it, guilt free and
without a choice.”

“That’s crazy.”

“No,” he said, the spark back in
his eyes. Ellis with his projects. He thought he could fix the world. “You
refuse to feed, but your DNA insists that you do. What if most of your…illness,
and these episodes, is because it’s your way of getting to feed?”

“I don’t—”

“You’re starving yourself, sweetie.
You need blood, but you refuse to take it. You refuse to feed. You have to
accept yourself. It’s the only way you’re going to live to see your
twenty-fifth birthday.”

Her birthday was in March. While
the times with Jeremy were coming closer together, they weren’t that close. She
wasn’t declining
that
fast. She wasn’t.

She turned away from her hideous
image. “Help me get a shower, and then you can catch me up on work.”

He helped her into the bathroom,
talking all the while.

Apparently a hell of a lot had been
happening in her absence.

COS was back in the news.

New branches had suddenly started
popping up all over the country. They were keeping a low profile and had publically
distanced themselves from Karin Love, but it was just a matter of time before
they started doing the two things they were created to do.

Destroying Others and killing the
humans who loved them.