SHIVER (11 page)

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Authors: Tiffinie Helmer

BOOK: SHIVER
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“It had nothing to do with that.” Like she was so heartsick she’d built her home on the spot where they’d first—and many times after—had snuck away to make love. Get real. “The spot has an amazing view and access to the river, close to the lodge without being too close, and I got it for a song when old man Tack died.” He’d willed it to her as he had a soft spot for the young lovers he’d interrupted that summer. She’d always suspected he knew Aidan was Fox’s father. But he’d never said anything, which she was supremely grateful for.

“Old Tack died? How?”

“Run-in with a bear.”

“Oh, that’s great. He always wanted to go out with a bang like that.” Aidan smiled. “Remember that time he caught us making love and proceeded to lecture us on birth control and family planning?” He laughed.

“Yeah.”
Real funny.
They should have paid more attention to what old Tack had told them. But then she wouldn’t have Fox in her life now. She urged Aidan out of the kitchen and down the hallway. The trek was slow.

No way was she staying the night again. She’d make sure he had everything he needed, tuck him into bed and be done. He was doing better, able to move around on his own with the help of crutches. If not graceful, at least he was mobile. He’d be fine on his own.

Following Aidan into the bedroom, she straightened his bedding while he brushed his teeth and used the bathroom on his own. He’d brought up the subject of a shower again, but the look she’d given him had shot it down.

He reentered the room, and she stepped back from the bed as he approached. “I have a glass of water here.” She pointed to the nightstand. “Your bottle of antibiotics and anti-inflammatories. Is there anything else you need?”

“Yeah.” He leaned the crutches against the bed and stood in front of her. “Who is Fox’s father?”

“What?” Her heart stopped. She stepped back, but Aidan grabbed her shoulders and kept her in place.

“All the talk about old Tack and Fool’s Cove got me thinking what I should have been thinking before.” He flexed his jaw. “Who is Fox’s father?”

Panic crawled up her spine. “None of your business.”

“I don’t believe that. I did the math. Fox said he was almost twelve when you reminded him to brush his teeth.” His hands tightened on her shoulders. “Is he my son?”

She swallowed hard and shook her head.
This couldn’t be happening.

He looked deep into her eyes. “We like the same kind of sandwich.”

“A lot of people like Reubens. That doesn’t mean they’re related,” she scoffed, while inside she was screaming.

He stared deep into her eyes, searching. “Are you sure?”

She glanced away. She’d never lied to Aidan before. They’d promised to always tell each other the truth. Always. It had been a huge thing with Aidan as his parents had lied constantly to each other and to him. But she’d made that promise when they’d been young and stupid. Adults sometimes lied to protect those they cared about. That was all she was doing. Protecting Fox. “When you left, I slept with a man I met in a bar. Call it a rebound.” She studied her feet. “I never saw him again.”

He shook her once, making her look at him. “Is
that
what you’ve told Fox? That his dad was a one-night-stand and you didn’t have the sense to get his name and number after you fucked him?”

She caught her breath and pushed out of his grip. He fell onto the bed, off balance. “Why do you care?” she demanded.

He stood back up.
“Why do I care?
You were everything to me, Raven. I loved you. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. And you knew it. Why else would I have left you when it was the last thing in the world I ever wanted to do?”

It hurt to breathe. Her heart raced, and the room seemed to be closing in on her. “I gotta go.”

“Damn it, Raven.” Aidan grabbed her again and yanked her into this arms. His eyes—hurt and troubled—stared into hers.

She knew he wanted to say something else, but then his tortured gaze fell to her lips. He groaned and crushed his mouth to hers. She whimpered, a little with fear, a little with excitement, and a lot with need. His arms came around her, squeezing her to his chest like he was afraid she’d slip away. She tasted desperation but didn’t know if was his or hers, and the sweet, sweet taste of memories of what could have been. Her arms stretched of their own accord. Her body began doing things she didn’t want it to do. Like rubbing against him, arching into his erection, cradling it with her heat. He groaned and swiveled on his one good leg until the back of her legs were against the bed. Then he lowered her down to the mattress.

His hot hands tunneled under her shirt, right to her aching breasts. Her nipples hardened making them ache even more. He tore his mouth from hers and his eyes bored into the depths of hers. “God, I’ve missed you.”

He kissed her again, his fingers undoing the clasp of her bra, freeing her breasts to his searching hands. She hadn’t been touched like this in so long. There had been a few fumbles since Aidan, but none of them had been him. He’d spoiled her for any other man. The way he’d worshipped her body, made her feel like she was everything. Tears leaked from her closed lids. She wanted him. Oh, how she wanted him.

Aidan pushed his leg between hers, spreading them wide for him to settle his erection at the heart of her, rubbing against her, making her moan, arch, and writhe under him. His hand reached between them, releasing the button to her jeans. She sucked in her stomach as his fingers trailed down. She needed to stop him. Needed to stop herself. Somehow he’d lost his shirt, and her hands kneaded the hard, strong muscles there.

His fingers trailed fire as they caressed her tattoo. “Raven, let me make you fly.”

A sob hit her at his words. “No.” She pushed at his immovable chest. His broad shoulders blocked out the light, keeping her cocooned within the power of his arms. What she wouldn’t give to stay here within their promised protection. Life alone was hard and lonely. But she couldn’t betray her father’s memory by loving the son of his murderer. She pushed against his chest again, harder. “No, Aidan.”

He stopped, his hands on her hips, fingers digging in, ready to strip her of the remainder of her clothing. His breathing was hard, like the rest of him. She wanted what his dark, smoldering eyes promised. Wanted him to send her flying. She’d flown solo all these years. And solo was a lonely flight.

“You want me, Raven,” he said, his voice strained.

“Yes, but I can’t have you.”

Raven entered the kitchen on shaky legs and headed toward the back door. She reached for her coat but didn’t put it on. The cold would do her good. Maybe she’d even take a minute to lie in the snow and snuff out the flames licking her body.

“Are you going home?”

Raven yelped and swung toward her mother’s voice. With all that was in her head and the unfulfilled yearning in her body, she hadn’t noticed anyone in the kitchen. Fiona sat at the table going over a list—she was famous for her list making—while nursing a cup of tea.

“Yes. Aidan will be fine on his own tonight.” If he felt well enough to engage in the type of activity that they had been engaging in, he was well enough to take care of himself.

“Do you think that’s wise?” Fiona lifted a brow.

Very wise. “He doesn’t have a fever, he’s mobile and he’s an adult. And besides, I’m not his keeper.” Why was Fiona giving her that look? The one that said she was in trouble. Did her mother know what she and Aidan had been doing? Was it painted on her face? Fiona always seemed to know whatever her kids had been up to. She would have caught on sooner with what Aidan and Raven had been up to twelve years ago if she and her dad hadn’t been fighting a land claim with Earl Harte. “Is there something wrong, Mom?”

“Actually, yes. Have a seat, daughter. I need to talk with you.”

Raven sat. Her mother sounded serious. Had something else happened?

Fiona flexed her hands around her mug. “I know who Fox’s father is. I’ve always known.”

Raven gasped.

Fiona continued, “I’ve been content not to say anything while Earl was alive. But he’s dead. It’s no longer an issue to keep Fox’s parentage a secret. I understand why you did what you did, but Aidan deserves to know he has a son. He should have known all along.”

“How…” Raven tried to swallow past the lump in her throat.
Her mother knew? Had always known?

“I can do the math. I know you said you’d met a man at party, but it didn’t add up. You were already pregnant before you started college. The only man you ever had stars in your eyes for has been Aidan Harte. You and he were thick as willow branches that summer your dad died. I understand why you lied, and at the time I agreed. If Earl had found out he had a grandchild, who knows how this would have all turned out. But that’s the past. You need to make things right.”

“I can’t let Aidan know.” She shook her head. “And what will Fox say? He’ll hate me.”

“No, he won’t. That boy loves you. He might be angry, but he’ll come around.”

“Aidan could take Fox away, have you thought of that?”

“Yes. But I don’t think he would do that. I think Fox will benefit the most with having two parents.”

“I don’t want Fox having anything to do with Aidan or the people he comes from.”

“You raised him to be a fine young man. Have faith, my daughter.” She drank from her tea and set the empty cup down. “Besides, the longer Aidan stays here, the better chance the truth will come out. I am not the only one who will see the resemblance.”

“What resemblance? Just because they each have dark hair and eyes doesn’t make them look alike.”

“Watch them smile. They each have the same dimple in their left cheek.” Fiona gave her a measuring look. “I won’t be the only who will notice.”

Reuben sandwiches and now dimples. What else?

“It’s the right thing to do, Raven.” Fiona stood and laid her hand on Raven’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “Put it right in your mind. You were never one to act rashly. But don’t take too long. I’d hate to have someone else spill the news to Aidan.”

C
HAPTER
E
IGHT

Aidan woke the next morning after a fitful night. His leg felt better, but the rest of him didn’t. One place in particular ached like a son of a bitch. He could still smell Raven in his room, feel her with his eyes closed. He’d never hoped where she was concerned before. But last night had changed all that. Raven still cared about him. Still desired him. Those were things he could work with. Use them to get her to see past what his father had done to hers. Somehow he needed to make it right. He had no clue where to start, but lying in bed wasn’t going to get him anywhere.

It was dark, though his internal clock told him it was morning. He reached for his crutches, already looking forward to throwing them away. He stood, and with the crutches under his arms, gradually applied weight onto his bad leg. It was painful but not excruciating.

“What the hell are you doing?” Eva asked.

Aidan had been concentrating so hard, he hadn’t heard anyone come into the room.

“Don’t be standing on that leg until it’s been x-rayed.” Eva walked over to him and swatted him on the arm. “Don’t mess with my orders. I’m very pregnant, very moody, and very capable of carrying out my threats. We understand each other?”

“Yes, ma’am.” The little powerhouse scared the shit out of him. How did Lynx live with her? Lynx had always been easygoing, willing to try anything no matter how dangerous or stupid it sounded. If there was fun to be had, you’d find Lynx in the middle of it.

“Sit down. Let me check your vitals.” Eva pushed him onto the edge of the bed. A blood pressure cuff was strapped to his arm and she pumped up the pressure. The woman was efficient. She had his blood pressure read, his temp jotted down, and the dressing changed on his leg before he’d worked up the nerve to ask her a question.

“Have you seen Raven this morning?”

“She’s arguing with Lynx.” Eva finished with the bandages, straightened, and rubbed the small of her back. “They’re fighting over who has to take you Fairbanks. The roads have been cleared.”

He frowned. “I thought that was already decided. Wasn’t Lynx saddled with the chore?”

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