SHIVER (21 page)

“Whatcha doing?”

Aidan jumped, his pencil flying out of his hand, clattering to the floor. Fox stood behind him, just over his shoulder.

“Where the hell did you come from?” He hoped his heart would return to normal. The kid was sneaky.

“Home. Uncle Pike lets me have leftover meat for my dogs. I came up to fetch it.” Fox tilted his head to the side, looking at Aidan’s drawings. “Are these—”

“Nothing.” Aidan grabbed the pages and stacked them together. He didn’t let anyone see his work before it was finished.

Fox’s face shuddered with hurt and disappointment. “I didn’t mean to pry. But…I just love your stories.”

Aidan studied Fox. There was nothing in his expression except curiosity and maybe the fear of rejection. “Uhm…” He was crazy to be thinking this. His editor would kill him if he…

Don’t over analyze it, Harte
. “Fox, I don’t usually do this. Hel—heck.” He needed to remember he was talking to a kid here and watch his language. “I don’t ever do this, but would you let me know what you think?” He offered the papers, his hand shaking.

“Seriously?” Fox’s eyes lit up as he held his breath.

“Yeah, and don’t sugarcoat it. If it sucks, I want to know.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

Fox took the papers like Aidan was handing him the Holy Grail. He took a seat on the couch. Aidan stood, stretched. How long had he been sitting here? He reached his arms above his head and arched from side to side while trying to forget that he’d just turned over his baby to an eleven-year-old for his opinion. Yeah, he’d lost it.

Fox frowned, his brows knitting together just like his mother’s, and flipped the page.

Aidan rubbed his hands over his face. He couldn’t watch this. He limped toward the kitchen. A cup of coffee—a pot of coffee—would do him a world of good. Maybe a muffin, if he could rustle one up.

Fiona was already there, yawning as she mixed batter in a bowl. “Morning, Aidan. Want some pancakes?”

Man, did he ever. “Yeah. What are you doing up so early?”

“Nobody sleeps in around this place.” She yawned again. “How I wish they would. I saw you writing. Get some work done?”

“Uh-huh.” He studied Fiona, dressed in jeans and bright blue kuspuk, a native Athabascan top, loose, comfortable fabric decorated along the edges with colorful threads. Her long dark hair, shot through with silver, was pulled back into a long braid. “Why do you do it?”

She glanced at him, confused.

“Wake up so early every morning? Take in guests?” Work so hard at an age when she should be taking it easy or someone should be taking care of her.

“Someone needs to keep the place running. I was hoping Raven wanted the lodge, but she’s into her art. Tern has the shop, and Chatanika isn’t for her. That one has restless feet and a wandering spirit.”

“What about Lynx?” Aidan took a seat at the table, his heart warmed watching Fiona prepare breakfast.

“The Arctic Refuge is his life. I never could keep that one indoors. I have hopes for Chickadee or Fox wanting to run the lodge after they’ve seasoned a bit.” She poured batter onto a hot griddle.

“Does Fox always run around with so much independence?”

“Ah, that boy has an old spirit. Wise way beyond his years.” She gave a far off look. “He’s always been that way, even as a toddler. He’s never one to leap. He studies, calculates, then pounces.” She smiled with pride.

“Was it rough for Raven? Being such a young mother?” And alone. Emotion squeezed his throat at the thought of a young, frightened Raven pregnant and alone.

Fiona picked up a spatula, turned up the edge of the pancake before flipping it over, and then looked at Aidan. “She didn’t talk much during that time. She was…sad. Very sad.” Fiona gave a heartfelt sigh. “We all were after losing Fox senior. But I know it was more than that.” She looked at Aidan. “I always thought it was because she missed you.”

Aidan sucked in a breath. Had Raven missed him like he’d missed her? He couldn’t believe that, couldn’t let his heart wish it were true.

Raven stepped into the kitchen, bringing a burst of cold air with her. She froze when she saw Aidan. “How’d you get here?”

“Drove.”

She frowned. “With your leg?” She slowly unwrapped the fuzzy purple and orange scarf from around her neck. “What happened at Earl’s?”

“I decided when there was no chopped wood that I didn’t want to freeze. So I braved driving.”

She looked at the boot.

“I took it off.”

“Do you think that was a good idea?” She cocked a brow as she unzipped her coat.

“Beat the hell out of freezing to death.”

Raven dismissed him and glanced at Fiona. “Have you seen Fox?”

“He’s in the other room,” Aidan answered, not ready to be dismissed so easily.

Raven frowned again. He was sure getting tired of that frown.

“He was after leftovers for the dogs,” she said.

“I know, he caught me in the other room and offered to do me a favor.”

“What kind of favor?” Her eyes narrowed like he had somehow disrupted her day.

“He’s looking over some ideas for me.”

“Why would you ask him to do that? And what kind of ideas?”

“Plotting suggestions, okay. He isn’t doing anything suspicious or dangerous. Relax. Have some pancakes.”

Fiona set a stack of plates down on the table as though emphasizing his words. “Take off your jacket, Raven,” she said, returning to the griddle. “Breakfast will be ready in a jiffy. And don’t tell me you don’t have time,” she added when Raven opened her mouth to object.

Wisely, Raven did as she was told. But Aidan could tell she wanted to stomp into the other room and see what Fox was up to. Aidan picked up a plate and passed one to Raven. Fiona set a platter full of steaming pancakes in front of them. Stacking his plate high, he slathered the fluffy goodness in butter and drowned them with birch syrup. The tastes blended and soothed.

“Hmm.” He made an appreciative sound around a mouthful. “You are the best, Fiona.” He would have been stuck with a frozen granola bar for breakfast if he had made it through the night at Earl’s place.

“You’re a joy to cook for, Aidan.” Fiona set a cup of coffee in front of him, laying her hand briefly on his shoulder.

Raven frowned at him again as she forked a pancake onto her plate.

Fox rushed into the room. “No
way
. You brought Senyea back! That is
so
cool.”

Aidan’s heart tripped. With Raven entering the kitchen, his anxiety over Fox reading his pages had lessened. Now it bloomed like a forest fire.

“Mom, you gotta read these.” Fox held the pages out to Raven.

Aidan snatched them out of his hand. “No.”

“Uh…sorry,” Fox said, his expression falling. “I thought she should see—”

“You can’t give anything away.” Aidan stared Fox in the eye. “Promise me that you will not tell anyone, and I mean
anyone
what you have read.”

“But—”

“Anyone, Fox. Word gets out and the next volume gets scrapped. The publishing world is an unforgiving one, and with the Internet, I can’t be too careful. Can I trust you?”

“Yes.” Fox straightened and squared his shoulders. “I won’t tell a soul. Not even my dogs.”

Aidan cracked a smile. If the boy wouldn’t tell his dogs, then his secrets were safe.

“But…can I talk to you about them?”

Aidan gave a full grin at that. “I would love your input.”

“Did you hear that, Mom? Aidan Harte would love my input.”

“I heard.” And by her tone, she obviously wasn’t pleased. “Get some breakfast, Fox, and then you better feed your dogs.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Fox grabbed a full plate Fiona had just filled and sat between Aidan and Raven. He lathered his pancakes with butter and birch syrup and dug in like he hadn’t eaten in weeks.

“Aidan, can I talk to you?” Raven asked, though the question wasn’t really a question.

Aidan stood, rolled up his pages and stuck them in his back pocket, then took his plate, over to the sink. Raven bypassed the living room and headed toward his bedroom. He had a feeling he wasn’t going to enjoy this ‘talk.’ She turned to face him as he entered behind her, shutting the door.

“I want you to stay away from Fox,” Raven said.

“Why?” He frowned.

“I don’t want him getting attached to you. Soon you will be leaving, and I don’t want him hurt.”

“Like you were when I left?”

She tightened her mouth and glanced to the side. When she looked at him again, her gaze had hardened. “No. This has nothing to do with me. Fox is an impressionable boy. He’s coming very close to hero worshipping you. I don’t want him disappointed.”

He took the arrow to the heart without a flinch. After all he was nobody’s hero. He might write about them. Think of himself as Lucien, his wolf totem’s character. But he would never be hero material. “Fine.” He folded his arms across his chest.

“Good.” Raven walked around him.

“Raven?” he said, keeping his back to her. “Are you going to tell Fox to stay away from me?”

“I think it’s for the best.” She left, quietly shutting the door behind her.

Aidan sank onto the edge of the bed. He really needed to get out of here. He’d over-stayed his welcome.

Who was he kidding? There’d been no welcome.

He sighed. What had he expected? What had he hoped for?
Family?
What an idiot. He rubbed the back of his neck. Enough of wishing, time for doing, and the first thing he needed to do was clear out of the lodge. He wasn’t about to fight Raven. She didn’t want him around her son, and he totally understood. Part of him agreed, even though he enjoyed the hell out of the kid.

Aidan gathered up his meager belongings. There wasn’t much. He’d stop at the lodge’s little store and buy a few bundles of chopped wood. That would warm up Earl’s cabin until he could chop some himself.

He straightened up the room, gathered his stuff and with one backward glance, shut the door.

Fox was waiting for him in the front room.

“Hey, Aidan,” Fox said with a wide smile, a dimple peeking from his left cheek. “You said you wanted to go for a ride with me and my dogs, remember? Today is Saturday.”

Aidan’s stomach clenched. He did not want to disappoint this boy. He’d been disappointed all his life. He didn’t want to treat the kid this way. “Sorry. But I need to head to Earl’s.”

Fox’s face fell and Aidan felt like the worst kind of bastard. “Sorry, kid. I have to get out of the godforsaken place before I go crazy.” That was said in truth. Damn, he really wanted to go for a sled ride with Fox. It had been decades since he had flown over the snow pulled by a team of well-trained dogs.

Why couldn’t Fox have been his son? He resembled him. But he was probably seeing what he wanted to see.

“But—”

“See ya, kid.” Aidan turned and walked out of the lodge, feeling like an ass. Why hadn’t he figured out a way to let Fox down easy? Instead, he’d treated the situation the way Eva would’ve with her rip-off-the-Band-Aid method.

C
HAPTER
F
OURTEEN

Aidan entered Earl’s, determined to finish what he’d come here to do. Hurt and anger fueled him on. He built a fire in the wood stove, and the small place heated up fast. His dad had been good at surviving in some of the worst places.

He tackled the job of cleaning up. Walking outside with Fox’s map, he methodically sprung every fucking booby-trap he could find. Anyone could step into one—an animal, lost hiker, hunter, or kid with a dog team out for a sled ride. Earl wasn’t going to hurt anyone else in
this
world.

Aidan took a break from tramping around in the cold and made himself a cup of coffee by melting snow with the dented tin percolator over the hot stove. He swallowed a few ibuprofens along with the bitter coffee. His medical boot was getting in the way. So he went into Earl’s bedroom and rummaged around until he found a pair of well-worn Timberland hunting boots. He pulled off the Velcro plastic boot the doctor had strapped him in, and changed the bandages. His dad’s old Timberland’s would do just as good of a job keeping his leg tight and would better protect him from the snow and cold.

When he was finished with the first aid, he went back outside with the ax. His leg was bearable as long as he kept the wounds cleaned and managed the pain with over the counter drugs. Besides what was a little physical pain when his emotional pain would have most putting a bullet in their head? He’d thought about ending it all. Had even tried pulling the trigger a few months back, but something had kept him from actually taking his own life. Probably the cowardice his dad had accused him of.

Chalk up another one for the bastard.

Aidan set up logs and began the backbreaking work of chopping wood. The day had turned sunny, deceiving since the temps were hovering around negative ten. The physical activity soon had him shedding his jacket. The last thing he wanted to do was sweat in conditions like this. Sweat would freeze and chill him to the bone as soon as he stopped working. Then it would take forever to get warm.