SHOOT: A Novel (13 page)

“Not like this,”
he reminded me as he grabbed my hips and forced them down until I felt his
hardness push up against me through the fabric of my thong and his pants. I
moaned deep and heavy as he pressed against me. “Move your hips.”

 
At once, I pushed them down and started moving
them in a circle with panty breathy moans.

“Stop, climb off
and bend forward, hands on the stool.” He ordered as he stood up and guided my
hips. I followed his orders as he unbuckled his pants and pulled his hard shaft.
He looked at me, bare breasts dangling enticingly underneath me as my body bent
over. He held onto himself, slowly jerking as he walked forward and pressed his
tip against my mouth.

“Suck it,” he
demanded.

I eagerly opened my
mouth as he eased it in all the way, my eyes starting to water as my lips
sealed around his girth. He pulled it out and watched me struggle to catch my breath
before holding the base of his shaft and rubbing the head over my lips,
smearing my red lipstick.

“Go on,” he urged.
I opened my mouth a little more, this time prepared for him to thrust his
entire length inside, but he didn’t. He slid it in slowly, inch by inch, until I
closed my mouth around it at the base and drew in a deep breath through my nose.
He felt large and heavy against my tongue as I flattened it along his shaft.

Slowly, he started
thrusting and held onto my shoulders, only picking up the pace once he had
wrapped my hair around his hand and started to tug. Eventually he was thrusting
hard and fast, stopping briefly only so I could catch my breath. He finally
pulled out and tilted my head up to look at me, smirk etched across his face.

He held up a
finger, motioning for me to wait as he walked into the back room. “Come in
here,” he finally called out. I straightened up, slightly confused, before
turning to walk into the room. I noticed he had put a condom on as he sat in
the chair, which only meant one thing. My heart pounded against my ribs as I
thought about what was about to happen.

 
He motioned for me to walk over to him. I
gulped nervously and my breath completely stopped as he grabbed my hands,
easing me onto his lap. His lips landed against mine passionately, placing his
hands on my hips and pushing me down until he pressed against my entrance.

“Ready?” he
muttered against my kiss.

I nodded. In an
instant he pushed me down, his full length pushing inside me at once. I cried
out and threw my head back. He was so long and thick it was almost painful, but
it felt so, so good. Scorching tingles fluttered down the backs of my thighs as
I felt him fill me up inside. He guided my hips to roll up and down, his hardness
thrusting in and out. The quiet room filled with the rhythmic slapping of our skin
as I repeatedly plopped down on his lap.

“You’re absolutely
gorgeous.” He whispered against my ear. His hot words sent my heart racing.

 
Our pace picked up until my breasts bounced
wildly with my rocking hips. I let out tiny breathy moans, eyes shut, nails
digging into the flesh of his shoulders as I felt him stab deeper into me.

I plopped back
down on him with a little yelp, forcing his entire length inside.
 
My hips rolled and rotated in tiny circles. I
smiled as I earned a pleasured whimper from him. He pushed his hips up so hard I
squealed and nearly fell off his lap.

“Fuck!” I
screamed, feeling him fill me even more as he thrust his hips up. I moaned and
pushed down against him. My eyes clenched tight and I gripped the back of the
chair so tightly my knuckles turned white until I collapsed forward, body tense
and shaking. The orgasm wracked my body until I fell against him in a trembling
heap.

Brad let out his
own guttural moan as he pushed up in short quick thrusts. His hands clasped
onto my thighs. I winced when his nails dug into my flesh. He let out a loud breath
as his thrusting hips stilled, eyes staring into mine. I sat on top of him with
heaving breath as we held each other for a few minutes and waited for our heart
beats to slow.

“Now…” I started
as I drew in another deep breath, “Now I feel dirty.” I laughed as I looked
down at our sweaty bodies.

“In more ways than
one.” Brad laughed. “We actually have a shower here,” He leaned back to look in
my eyes and smirked. “Since I got you all dirty, how about I help you clean
up?”

Behind the scenes
of a runway show, I sat completely still in front of the mirror with framed
lights as my hair and makeup were done. I had plenty of time to reflect on my
wild night with Brad. It was the first time I had really sat and thought about
it so deeply. After that night my life had gotten significantly busier with the
full onset of New York Fashion Week in full swing.

 
I had loved every minute of that night with
Brad, but the longer my thoughts went on the less sure I became of this whole
model life being right for me. It was nothing bad– I didn’t feel unsafe,
unwelcome or pressured. I had been doing everything I dreamed of doing in the
big city and then some. I just didn’t feel like myself.

“Chloe,” one of
the women working the backstage area called a few feet away from me. She looked
rushed and stressed. The woman beckoned me over to make sure the hair and
makeup were good to go before shoving a miniscule dress in my hands along with
a pair of sky-high stilettos to match.

“You’re on in
three!” the woman said before turning on her heel and storming off to find the
next model. I quickly but carefully got into the dress and slipped on the heels
to join the queue of models waiting to take the runway. I had to keep my mind
clear so I wouldn’t miss my cue, much less risk tripping down the runway or
walking incorrectly.

The moment I was
shoved to the center and the bright lights hit me, everything washed away. Only
the dress, the shoes I wore, and the runway existed. I felt more in my element
than ever, like I had finally found the place I belonged to. It was something I
first experienced when I finally fell into a photo shoot, usually with Brad’s
strategic and gentle coaxing. As I placed my hand on my hip and looked forward
before turning to walk back up the runway, I felt spectacular. I felt dazzling.

When I was pushed
to the queue waiting to go back out for the finale, the feeling didn’t fade. It
wasn’t until the show was over and I was washing off the face the makeup artist
painted on that I started to come down from my fashion-high.

That was when it
hit me– modeling wasn’t what made me think I wasn’t being myself. It was the
city life I had adopted, more specifically my adventures with Brad. I ran a
brush through my hair intent on pulling it into a ponytail, wondering if what I
was doing with Brad was morally correct. Had my mother been right all along?
Was there nothing good in the city? The guilt swelled up in my chest again,
coming up as a burning ball in my throat. I was choked up.

It didn’t matter
that my pictures had been making a lot of money. It only mattered to the extent
that my parents and siblings were now in a better position than they were
months ago before I left Iowa. The thing that killed me the most was wondering
if my family would even want the money if they find out how I was making it. I
hated thinking my stint with Amorous Productions would fill them with shame. The
last thing I wanted was to disappoint them.

I walked to the
bathroom and locked myself in a stall, leaning back against the door to take a
few deep breaths. I imagined the look on my mother’s face upon seeing a photo
form one of my shoots. The thought mortified me. I busted out of the stall,
splashed water on my face, and walked straight out of the venue in search of
fresh air. Being around the crowd, the hype, and the busy bodies wasn’t helpful.
I turned on the first street and leaned against the wall of a building, looking
up at the sky as I tried to calm my nerves.
 

“How am I supposed
to do this?” I wondered aloud. It seemed impossible to reconcile something I
truly enjoyed with all the ‘values’ that were instilled on me since I was a
little girl. I felt guilty not just for participating, but also for taking
pleasure in the types of things I was sure my mother would never approve of.

I shut my eyes and
pushed everything out of my mind. This wasn’t something to solve tonight. The
end of New York Fashion Week was fast approaching and my schedule was busier
than ever. I needed to get a good night’s rest.

The final day of
fashion week felt like it came in the blink of an eye. Between fittings,
run-throughs, shows, and meetings it seemed like I barely had time to breathe.
Finally, the last show came along and went off without a hitch– except I had
been invited to, and was expected to attend, an after-party. Despite my
exhaustion, I was totally excited for it save for the bit of guilt I hadn’t yet
managed to get rid of.

And along with
that guilt came Brad, who had decided to go to the after-party at my side. I
was stunned and nervous the entire time I cleaned up after the fashion show and
even more so on the ride back to Amorous Productions, where I was going to get
ready. We were going to meet my roommates a couple of blocks away from the
party to arrive together, only the three of them didn’t know what they were in
for. They
still
didn’t know about
everything that had happened between Brad and I. As much as I wanted to talk to
them about it despite being scared, our busy Fashion Week schedules had made it
impossible.

I paired a long
sleeved, black crop top with high-waisted black-and-white striped slacks. I
wore simple, black leather pumps and let my chocolate brown hair fall loose
over my shoulders, my gorgeous emerald green eyes stood out with simple makeup.
As I looked in the mirror to make sure everything was in place, Brad came up
behind me and handed over a pair of black, round sunglasses.

“It’s nighttime,” I
told him blankly.

He chuckled. It
was one of those moments where it showed how much of a newbie I was and he,
inevitably, found it charming. “It’s for looks, not sun protection.”

I took them from
his hand and looked at them. They had silver trim and were much more glamorous
in a simple way than the sunglasses people from Iowa sported on sunny days.
Taking his word for it, I put them on and turned to check out my reflection.

“You look like a
model,” he whispered in my ear, placing his hands on my waist and kissing the
back of my shoulder, exposed by the crop top’s wide neckline.

I had to agree.
The kind of person I would see in magazines was now in the mirror in front of me.
I felt proud for having chosen the outfit on my own. It felt like the first
majorly fashionable thing I had picked and purchased since getting into this
world. Tilting my head, I noted how the pants made my already mile-long legs
look even longer. The pants cinched at my waist, accentuating just how small it
was and showing off the sexy curve of my hips. My breasts were easily
appreciated in the top without baring too much cleavage, or hardly any at all. I
looked chic and effortlessly sexy.

“I do,” I finally
agreed with him.

Brad turned my
face to him and gave me a peck on the lips. “You’re coming into your own.”

I smiled faintly,
wondering if he was right. Maybe everything had felt so confusing and the guilt
had welled up inside of me because I was exploring my true self. Maybe that
true self really
didn’t
have a place
back in the Iowa.

 
“It’s all a learning process,” Brad muttered,
kissing me again and pulling my body flush against his.

“My roommates will
be waiting,” I reminded him.

He nodded and took
my hand, the two of us leaving the studio to go meet up with the three models
eagerly waiting for me and my mystery companion. When the two of us walked up
to Nadine, Sarah, and Caroline it took a moment for all three of them to piece
things together. Brad and I weren’t holding hands, but we did look close and I
knew that wasn’t something my roommates would miss. Even if Brad and I pulled
the, “We were just working together,” card the three women would inevitably
know what was going on.

I did my best to
act normal, greeting them and chatting away about Fashion Week as Brad
alternated between walking beside me and slightly falling behind. Every once in
a while he would make a comment, agreeing to a compliment one of the three
women gave me, that made everyone briefly go silent. Other times he would brush
his arms against mine and we would exchange glances. We were never overt, but
it wasn’t something we would have successfully kept hidden.

The walk was even
more awkward than I had imagined it would be. Sure enough, when we arrived at
the party’s venue I was immediately hauled off to the nearest ladies’ room.

“Is
this
why you haven’t been around the
apartment?” Nadine demanded.

The three of them
surrounded me and I saw no way out of it, but I still played dumb, “What do you
mean?”

“She means you’ve
been spending all your time with Brad Hastings,” Caroline responded calmly. She
was always the most levelheaded one and, even now, it was clear she was
treading carefully, but not wasting time playing games.

I gulped. Now was
the moment to come clean and on some level I knew it would be, which was one of
the biggest reasons I agreed to meet up with them alongside Brad. All this time
I wanted nothing more but to let my friends in on my biggest secret. Maybe then
I’d actually have someone to confide in. It was time to take the plunge. I
nodded slowly.

“Oh my
gosh
!” Sarah was the first to exclaim,
clapping her hands together with bright eyes.

Nadine, on the
other hand, gaped. Her facial expression was a mixture of disbelief and perhaps
even a bit of judgment. It made me feel uncomfortable.

“I never thought
you’d do something like this,” she finally voiced. I was unsure how to take it,
but I hoped it wasn’t an insult. As if reading my mind, Nadine clarified, “It’s
just so unlike you but that’s not a bad thing, you know.”

“Not at all,”
Caroline chimed in. “Does he make you happy?”

My face lit up
with a big smile, making all three of them smile along with me. “He does. He
really does,” I assured them. I wanted to spill everything but knew it was too
much, too soon. After all, we had just found out. At that moment, however,
there was no way to deny just how much I liked being with Brad. Our relationship
was undefined and that made me feel a bit uncertain but, overall, I was okay
with it. He was a part of my adventure and a very real part of my new life,
both professionally and personally.

“I can’t believe
it!” Sarah squealed before pulling me into a hug. “I’m happy for you!”

“We’ve all worked
with him,” Nadine started.

“I know,” I
interrupted with a grimace. “That makes it awkward, doesn’t it?”

“That’s not what I
was going to say,” Nadine deadpanned. She paused and looked at me straight in
the eyes, “We’ve all worked with him and I think we’d all agree he is a good
guy.” Caroline nodded and Sarah grinned, nodding enthusiastically.

I smiled, but my
relief was soon replaced with something else. I realized they most likely had
no idea about Amorous Productions. That was something I would never be able to
tell them about. There was too much at stake where Amorous Productions was
concerned, for Brad and for me. The idea of them all seeing any of the photos I
did made my cheeks burn with embarrassment.

What if that would
make them change their opinion on Brad? Perhaps they would think he was some
weird creep or pervert. There was also the chance that they would see him as
unprofessional and lacking loyalty to the company he worked for—also untrue. Convinced
everything would be a mess if they found out, I kept my lips sealed. They knew
about my personal relationship with Brad and that was more than enough. The
three wanted to probe me with more questions, but agreed it was best left for a
later time and place when we had more privacy.