Shopaholic Ties the Knot (45 page)

“And we’re taking two great big empty suitcases with us because . . .”

“Well, you never know,” I explain. “We might pick a few things up along the way. Travelers should always support the local economies—” I break off as Luke starts to laugh.

“What?” I say indignantly. “It’s true!”

“I know.” Luke wipes his eyes. “I know it is. Becky Bloomwood, I love you.”

“I’m Becky Brandon now, remember!” I retort, glancing down at my lovely new ring. “Mrs. Rebecca Brandon.”

But Luke shakes his head. “There’s only one Becky Bloomwood. Never stop being her.” He takes both hands in mine and gazes at me with a strange intensity. “Whatever you do, never stop being Becky Bloomwood.”

“Well . . . OK,” I say, taken aback. “I won’t.”

“Becky! Luke!” Mum’s voice comes across the lawn. “It’s time to cut the cake! Graham, put on the fairy lights!”

“Right-o!” calls Dad.

“Coming!” I shout back. “Just let me put my garland back on!”

“Let me.” Luke reaches for the garland of pink flowers and puts it on my head with a little smile.

“Do I look stupid?” I say, pulling a face.

“Yes. Very.” He gives me a kiss, then stands up and helps me to my feet. “Come on, Becky B. Your audience is waiting.”

As fairy lights begin to twinkle all around us, we walk back over the dusky grass to the wedding, Luke’s hand clasped firmly around mine.

5. JOINT BANK ACCOUNT

5.1 The joint account shall be used for necessary expenditure on household expenses.

“Household expenses” shall be defined to include Miù Miù skirts, pairs of shoes, and other items of apparel deemed essential by the Bride.

5.2 The Bride’s decision regarding such expenses shall be final in all cases.

5.3 Questions regarding the joint account shall not be sprung on the Bride by the Groom with no warning, but submitted in writing, with a 24-hour period for reply.

6. SIGNIFICANT DATES

6.1 The Groom shall remember all birthdays and anniversaries, and shall mark said dates with surprise gifts.*

6.2 The Bride shall demonstrate surprise and delight at the Groom’s choices.

7. MARITAL HOME

The Bride shall make the best attempt within her powers to maintain order and tidiness in the marital home. HOWEVER, failure to abide by this clause shall not be regarded as a breaking of the contract.

8. TRANSPORT

The Groom shall not comment on the Bride’s driving ability.

9. SOCIAL LIFE

9.1 The Bride shall not require the Groom to remember the names and past romantic history of all her friends including those he has never met.

9.2 The Groom shall make every effort to set aside a significant portion of each week for leisure and relaxing activities.

9.3 Shopping shall be defined as a relaxing activity.

*The surprise gifts shall comprise those items marked discreetly by the Bride in catalogues and magazines, to be left around the marital home in the weeks leading up to said dates.

Writing this book was tremendous fun; researching it even more so. I am exceedingly grateful to all, both in Britain and in the States, who gave me so much inspiration, and allowed me to come and ask them lots of stupid questions.

My thanks to Lawrence Harvey at the Plaza, who could not have been more helpful, and to the ever wonderful Sharyn Soleimani at Barneys. Also to Ron Ben-Israel, Elizabeth and Susan Allen, Fran Bernard, Preston Bailey, Clare Mosley, Joe Dance at Crate and Barrel, Julia Kleyner and Lillian Sabatelli at Tiffany, Charlotte Curry at
Brides
, Robin Michaelson, Theresa Ward, Guy Lancaster and Kate Mailer, David Stefanou and Jason Antony, and lovely Lola Bubbosh.

A million thanks, as always, to my wonderful agent Araminta Whitley and to Celia Hayley, Kim Witherspoon, and David Forrer. And of course deep gratitude to the endlessly fantastic team at The Dial Press, with particular thanks to Susan Kamil, Zoë Rice, and Nita Taublib.

And lastly to the people who’ve been there all the way through: Henry, Freddy, and Hugo, and the purple posse. You know who you are.