As quietly as I can, I take off my shoes and set my keys on the counter. Kat rubs against my ankles, and I pick her up, scratching under her chin. She purrs for a minute then tells me she’s done by biting my hand. I laugh and set her down then change into a pair of pajama bottoms and white t-shirt.
Mary is curled on her side, blanket tucked up under her chin, hair falling all over her face. I sit down and push the brown strands away.
She stirs and opens her eyes. “Hey.”
“Hi.” I lean down and kiss her cheek. “Come to bed.”
“Did you hear anything else from Travis about Meara? Char didn’t have anything new this morning when I talked to her.”
Today has been a week since the concert, and Meara still isn’t talking about what happened. All Travis has told me is that she refuses to talk about it, and whenever Liam comes around, she freaks the fuck out.
“No. Nothing new.”
“Damn.” She shakes her head, disappointed.
Fuck, now’s a good a time as any. “Babe, I’ve gotta tell you something.”
Her eyes widen and she sits up, worry creasing her forehead. “What?”
I hold her hand, rubbing back and forth with my thumb, partly to calm her but also to ground myself because I don’t know how she’s going to react.
“I found your parents.”
The hand in mine tenses, her jaw falls open, and she finally sucks in a breath. “What?”
“I really hope you’re not upset with me, but I hired an investigator.”
“When?”
“After I found you. He’d been looking for you for years with me.” She tries to pull her hand away, but I don’t let her. “No, none of that. We’re past it. I’m just telling you. Okay?”
Her grip relaxes and she nods. “‘Kay.”
“When I was looking for you, I also had him looking for your parents on the off chance you were with them. About four years ago, he found them in Arizona. He stayed on their tail for almost a year with no indication of you at all. So, he came back here.”
“What were they doing in Arizona?” The pain in her voice is enough to be my undoing. How must that feel—to know your parents ditched you without a backward glance? I can’t even imagine.
“Same thing they were doing here.” I leave the unspoken words about the drugs alone and lower my voice. “You want me to finish?”
“Yes.”
“When I found you, I had him look for them again; I wanted to cover all my bases. This time he found them in Mexico. They’re alive and apparently well. It looks like they got out of the drug game and have become panhandlers.”
“Oh.” She leans back on the couch and sets her hand on her stomach.
I don’t think it’s intentional, but the way she absently rubs small circles shows me just how wonderful of a mother she’s going to be. Already protecting the baby. Loving him or her unconditionally.
Several minutes go by, and she continues to stare into space.
I clear my throat. “Mary?”
Her head snaps to me. “Are you sure you’re not hungry? I can make you something to eat.” She stands and walks to the refrigerator. “You want a sandwich? Leftover lasagna?”
When I walk behind her and touch her shoulder, she tenses.
“If none of those options sound good, I can make something else. I just went to the st—”
I wrap both of my arms around her from behind. “Babe, stop.”
She pats my arm and tries to push away. “I’m fine.”
My mouth is right next to her ear, so I barely have to speak. “Mary.”
Her body relaxes into mine. “I’m fine. Honestly, I don’t really even think about them anymore. And right now, I don’t want to. I’m pregnant, and I am going to be marrying the man of my dreams in a couple of days. Nothing else matters.”
Now I feel like an ass because maybe I shouldn’t have told her right now. Maybe I should have waited. “I could have waited to tell you. I’m sorry.”
“No.” She turns in my arms. “Don’t be. I’m glad you told me, but they’re not worth worrying about. The only thing I learned from them is now not to treat your kid. I will never let my children feel unloved or like they don’t matter.”
“I know you won’t.”
She takes a deep breath and kisses my cheek. Her eyes are confident, assuring me she really is okay.
We’re
okay. Nothing and nobody will change that, ever. Because I finally have everything I ever wanted. Mary didn’t make it easy to find her, but loving her? It’s as easy as breathing.
* * *
Mary
Breathe.
I stand on the inside of the sliding glass door, my fingers twirling the small diamond studs in my ears. The earrings Brandon got me for my eighteenth birthday. The same ones I forgot in the hospital that night. I had to take them off for the tests they ran and left without them. Elizabeth brought them to me with a note from Brandon that said simply,
Something Old
He continues to amaze at every turn. Surprises me with the kinds of things that blow me away. Instead of buying me a new, larger pair of diamonds, he gives me the ones that mean something to me.
On the other side of the glass is my future. Brandon. I’m supposed to walk out these doors and down the steps. But I can’t make my feet move.
It’s not a big wedding. Not fancy. Only family and a few close friends are here. All of them his except for Betty. She was able to get a flight in last night. Otherwise, it’s all his family and his friends. Well, I consider Char and Kelsey my friends, but it’s through him that I know them so, technically, they’re his. And I’m fine with that.
I saw the backyard earlier from the bedroom window. It looks beautiful—white fabric draped over the bushes and trees, twinkling white lights, and an arch with sweet peas woven throughout.
I’m so ready. All I have to do is open this door, turn right, and walk down the stairs. I can do it.
I take a deep breath and slide the door. I pivot in my heels, hopefully the last time I ever have to wear shoes like this, and almost fall on my face. Not because I trip but because Steve is waiting for me at the bottom. And he’s standing, leaning on a cane.
I look up and find Brandon watching me, a reassuring smile on his face. He gestures toward his dad, and I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crying.
When I get to the last step, I lean over and hug him as carefully as I can. “What are you doing, you crazy man?” I chuckle through the tears that refuse to subside.
“Walking my daughter down the aisle.”
A cloud bursts open in the sky and a streak of sunlight shines through, perfectly symbolic of this moment—the light entering my life of darkness.
I accept his left arm and don’t even flinch at the scar on my right one anymore. We’re both a little unsteady on our feet, and slowly but surely, we make it to the end where Brandon takes me from his father and kisses me. He wraps his arms around me and buries his face in my neck.
“You’re supposed to wait to do that.”
He chuckles and pulls back then rests his forehead against mine. “I’ve waited for you my entire life, Mary.”
Acknowledgements
I can’t start my acknowledgements without thanking my husband. He’s put up with so much from me ever since I started writing, and I couldn’t do this without his support. So, thanks babe. I love you. Of course I’d like to thank my kids and the rest of my family for their support and encouragement.
To all my critiquers and beta readers, I can’t thank you enough for all of your help and advice during this book. Megan, Kelly, Marianne, Nikki, Nancy, Kishan, Jen, PM, Polly, and Becky. You all are so wonderful and I appreciate you more than you can ever know.
My AOI girls for always having my back, giving great advice, and encouraging me when I question everything. They push me when I doubt myself and there are no words to describe their support. I wouldn’t be where I am without them. I love you guys. #TheAwesome
And to all of my friends who have backed me and shared my work, thank you so, so much. To Erin Spencer: Because you are fabulous and I love you.
Also a big thanks to Kishan for helping me with the therapist questions I had. KJ for answering my hospital and nurse questions. And
Investigator
Castillo for answering the huge list of police/detective questions. I appreciate you all taking the time to help me. Thank you.
To everyone at the clinic who read my book(s). You guys humbled me when I saw it being passed around and loved hearing what you thought. I’ll miss you all!
The bloggers. Your endless work to get the word out there about my books has blown me away. I’m essentially nobody in this indie world, but you don’t make me feel that way. Especially to Day Reader Reviews, Three Chicks and Their Books, Escape N Books, Summers Book Blog, Give Me Books, and the One-Click Addict Support group. I know there are so many more that I didn’t mention. Please know that I appreciate your support and all the hard work you put in. If it weren’t for you, I couldn’t do what I love. Thank you.
It astounds me the support other authors give me by answering my questions and sharing my work. This community is incredible, and there are so many magnificent people who have been there for me. I’d like to give a special shout out to KC Lynn. I absolutely adore her and her writing, and have found that she is just as wonderful of a person as she is a writer. KC, thank you. From the bottom of my heart.
Kari at Cover to Cover Designs: Thank you for another beautiful cover. I’m so appreciative of all of your hard work. Especially how quick you are when I need something changed.
Mandy at MHPhotography: I love how you listen to what I say and are able to capture it perfectly. Thank you so much.
Models: Ashley Edmund and Steven for taking such a great picture. You guys rock.
Jenny at Editing 4 Indies: You are so great to work with, and I can’t thank you enough for the amazing work that you do. I’m so lucky to have found you.
Bree at Vivid Words Editing: You are a miracle worker and I love what you add to my books. I’m blessed to have found you. Thank you so much for working so quickly and efficiently.
Stacey at Champagne Formats: Seriously, you are just the best. Not only with the formatting, but all the changes I throw on you last minute. I just can’t thank you enough. You are appreciated so much.
Karen at Sparkle Book Tours: Thank you for doing my cover reveal. It was more than I expected and I appreciate it so much.
Nazarea at Ink Slinger PR: Thank you for putting together my blog tour. I’m so grateful for everything you have done for me.
And the band Breaking Benjamin for recording the song “So Cold.” Because to me, it fits this book perfectly and was inspirational while I was writing.
Last but certainly not least, to my readers. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Author Bio
Anna has always had a passion for writing, and is thrilled to be able to bring her stories to life. Born in Wisconsin, she’s lived in several Midwestern states. She enjoys reading, writing, and spending time outdoors with her husband and two boys.
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