Shymers (15 page)

Settling back into her seat, she closes her eyes. I turn to find Harrison watching us closely. He tilts his head and raises his eyebrows as if to ask, “Well?”

I shrug in response and turn back to Bree. Little streams of tears are flowing down her cheeks and into her hair. “I’m sorry,” I say gently. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just want to give you the opportunity to get away from all of this.”

Opening her eyes, she turns to me. “How long do I have to decide?”

“Not long. There’s something else you need to know,” I say, bracing myself for her reaction. “Harrison said he would help me try to find a way to visit my mother before we leave.”

She rolls her head back, letting it drop on the seat behind her. “You ar
e
insan
e
. I should have known since the first time I met you that you’re not right in the head. All the air you sucked in while in the Free Lands must have killed some of your brain cells or something. Olive, they won’t just let yo
u
wal
k
in to suspension.”

“There must b
e
som
e
way I can see her, to tell her goodbye.”

She turns to me, her expression soft. “I’m not saying this to be mean, Olive, but you don’t even know if she’s still alive. She may very well be dead by now.”

I shake my head. “I know, but I think she is still alive. Either way, I have to find out.”

A hiccup of a laugh bursts from her lips. “How do think you’re going to sneak into a suspension facility? Do you have any idea what kind of mess you’re throwing yoursel
f
and Harriso
n
into? Do you know what they would do if they caught you?”

“I just need Harrison to help me come up with some kind of plan to get in. I will sneak in on my own.”

Bree rests her hand over mine. “Olive, you need to just let her go. Your mother wouldn’t want you to risk your life for her.”

I know she’s right, but my heart aches at the thought of never seeing my mother again. “Either way, I can’t be here any longer. If you want to stay, I understand. This is the only life you’ve ever known. I don’t know how much longer I have. What I do know is that I can’t live the rest of my life in this depressing world.”

My friend sighs deeply and slumps back into her seat again. “Do you know my parents don’t tell me they love me?”

I blink slowly.
“
Wha
t
?”

She shrugs her shoulders, watching through the window as the buildings flicker past. “I don’t think it’s their fault. They were taught not to show love toward a Shymer baby. I was fortunate that they would even keep me instead of sending me to an orphanage. I have never heard them say the words. I don’t even know if they really do love me or not. My father is always away at the factory and my mother walks around with this hollow look all the time, like she is nothing but a shell. I think having two Shymer children is just too much for her.”

As she tells me this, tears spring to my eyes. I didn’t know her sister was also a Shymer. Do all my new friends come from families with ill-fated lives?

“Don’t be sad for me,” she says, her lips curling into a pained smile. “Like you said, it’s the only life I’ve ever known.”

“But it’
s
not righ
t
.”

She rests her hand on my leg. “I lov
e
the
m
though, I really do. That’s why it’s going to be so hard to say goodbye.”

I stop short from wiping my tears with my arm to watch her. “Are you saying you’ll come with?”

Her smile grows.

I leap into her, wrapping my arms around her small frame for an embrace. She laughs, although the sound of it is strained from my tight grip. I pull back. “Sorry.”

When I turn back to Harrison, he obviously already knows Bree’s answer. Once again, the gleaming smile I have waited so long to see fills his face. It is hard to look away from his brilliant, blue eyes and shining white teeth. More than ever, I want him to hold on to me again, like he did when we talked about running away together. I want to run with him right this very minute, and never stop.

All at once, I know the ache my mother once held for my father in her heart.

I am falling in love with Harrison.

* * *

With our plans to run away and my newly discovered feelings for Harrison weighing heavily on my mind, it is hard to act normal as we walk together from the shuttle station back to the orphanage. Harrison walks so close this time that it’s impossible to keep our hands from touching. To my complete surprise, he slips his hand around mine when they do. Having our fingers laced together is wonderful and I find myself beaming.

Once safely obscured by the alley, he pulls me aside. “There are packs you can wear on your back hidden near my family book. One was my grandfather’s, and one belonged to a friend. I’m on cleaning duty tonight, so I can grab them.”

“You mean backpacks?” I ask with a sly grin.

Tilting his head, he frowns. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“I’m sorry. Go on.” Apparently they don’t have backpacks in Society. My mother owned one in a brilliant shade of blue that she took to the market every day.

“Anyway,” Harrison continues, “we can each grab some extra meat and potatoes tonight. Just tell the cooks you were ill at lunch and that you’re starved. I’ve been able to use that trick in the past when I was going through a growing spell. Don’t eat too much tonight—bring it to me just outside the boy’s lavatory before bedtime. I can store the packs until we leave for lessons in the morning. We can take more at breakfast and lunch tomorrow.”

I can skip a few meals. I’ve done it before. I especially don’t mind missing any when they are so tasteless and bland. Yet that same tasteless food may be the only thing to keep us going for a few days before it is safe to go fishing or hunt for eggs.

I smile up at him. “So we’re really going to do thi
s
tomorro
w
?”

He nods, his stunning smile returning. “See if you can grab a change of clothes in the night from someone the same size as you.”

His words are rushed. Is he beginning to panic? Guilt washes over me. Maybe this isn’t a good idea. Maybe I shouldn’t be dragging my friends along with me. Maybe I should go and find my mother on my own, then return to take them to the Free Lands.

More than ever I am determined to see my mother again, and tell her how much her love means to me. Our family always told each other “I love you” with the passing of every day. Were they ever words that meant something to me, or something I just said because I had done it my whole life? I need my mother to know that I truly love her and appreciate everything she did to try to protect me from this harsh reality.

I glance in the direction of the soldiers. “Are you sure about this? Do you really want to run away with me and find my mother? It could end up being really dangerous, Harrison. If anything happened to you…”

My throat grows tight and I can’t say any more. It pains me to think of losing Harrison, even though I know he already is on borrowed time. Because his time is short, I need to show him what it feels like to be loved unconditionally. I remember how broken my mother was after my father’s death. Is that what I will feel after Harrison is gone? Will I feel as if a very part of me has died along with him?

He presses his lips together, suppressing a bigger smile. “I already told you I won’t let you do anything dangerous. And of course I’m sure. I have never been this excited about anything in my life.” His eyes sparkle in the afternoon light. “You couldn’t talk me out of it at this point even if you tried. It’s freeing, just to know I won’t ever have to come back to this awful place again.”

“I don’t want to see you get hurt,” I say. Then, flustered, I add, “or Bree.”

“We can do this,” he says. “My dad used to always tell me ‘attitude is everything.’ He meant it as how we needed to live in Society’s standard way of living, but I think it is more fitting for this situation. We can do this, Olive, and we will.
I
d
o
want to run away with you.”

He squeezes my hand tightly, nearly melting me into a puddle. When I can’t produce any kind of audible reply, I only smile back.

10 – I Have a Message for You

Just as Harrison said, the cooks give me extra food when I tell them I was feeling ill at lunch. I sit across from him at the table, just as we do every meal. Both of us push our food around on our plates and try to act normal. The guardians pace around the room in scattered patterns, not paying any special attention to anything. I hold my head low to keep from grinning like a fool at Harrison.

As everyone prepares for bed later, I head down to the boy’s lavatory on Harrison’s floor. The dim hallway is silent, and the shadows seem larger than usual. I move close to the wall as I do every night when I sneak off to meet Harrison. I am only steps away from the lavatory when Director Mahr takes one heavy step out in front of me, like some kind of creature of the night. I hold a hand over my mouth to stifle a scream.

“Miss Mensing,” he says with his voice low.

When standing in front of me, the director is not much taller than I am. His giant stomach rolls over his belt and hangs in a most disgusting way. I remove my hand from my face, willing myself not to curl my lips up at the sight of him. He gives me his usual spiteful look, his eyebrows drawn together and his upper lip held tersely. I wonder what has happened in his life to make him always seem so angry.

“Hello,” I greet him with.

“The cooks tell me you were extra hungry today. What do you have in your hand?” He points at the napkin held by my side.

My hands tremble. It is so obvious he hates me just for having once lived in the Free Lands. He once warned me that he would be watching. Still, I had no idea he would be watching me quite this closely. I should have been more careful. “I couldn’t finish all of my food,” I say.

He laughs, his belly shaking with each jolt. “So you’re bringing it up to some kind of pet you’re keeping up here? Do you have a mouse? Or maybe even a little bird that you’re trying to nurse back to health?” Every word comes off as threatening, taunting me to see which answer I will give.

I shake my head slowly. “It’s for a friend.”

His brows draw together even more. He leans closer. The darkness is trapped underneath the hood of his eyes, making him look like the monsters I always envisioned in my father’s scary stories. “You mean to say that you have a friend who can’t get their own lazy butt down to the kitchen?”

I swallow, willing myself to calm down. “She’s going through a growing spurt and already reached her limit of food for the day,” I lie, hoping it sounds believable.

“Miss Mensing, let me remind you. There ar
e
rule
s
in this facility
—
rule
s
I expec
t
every chil
d
to follow. Do you know what happens if a child refuses to follow my rules?”

I shake my head the slightest bit.

“One of two things. You could be transferred to another orphanage, or I could decide to have you thrown into suspension.” He smirks, revealing a row of crooked and yellowed teeth. The sight of them is revolting.

“I’m sorry,” I say, my voice wavering. “I didn’t mean to disrespect anyone. I just felt badly for my friend. She goes to bed starving every night.”

Director Mahr laughs loudly, the sound echoing down the hallway. His suspicious stare paralyzes me. Does he know what we’re planning?

“You certainly aren’t like any of the other Futures I’ve ever met, are you? Your momma raised you in the forest to believe in things and have deep thoughts and emotions. Something like that is pretty rare in Society. It’s also highly frowned upon.”

Why does he still think I’m a Future, despite the mark? Why is he asking me all these things? I hold my chin high, remembering what Harrison said about attitude being everything. “My mother raised me to care for other people. If that’s considered wrong to Society, then I apologize. I am still learning how to change my ways.”

His hateful glare doesn’t stop when another a dark smirk surfaces. “You will come to understand, young lady, that unless you’re a Future in Society, your life doesn’t mea
n
anythin
g
. Shymer children ar
e
nothin
g
. You should not be wasting your time on them. If you keep showing sympathy to their kind, no family is going to ever want to take you in. Your chances of leaving this orphanage will continue to diminish until they’re completely gone. Do you understand what I am saying?”

I nod, remaining stoic.

“Good,” he says. “Now I expect you to go straight to your dormitory. Do I make myself clear?”

Looking into his dark eyes, I know he’s one of the bad people in Society that my mother wanted to protect me from. None of his intentions are good, and he cannot be trusted.