Silent Dances (23 page)

"Most hearing people can't imagine why anyone would want to be
disabled."

Thorn gave her a penetrating stare. "You're not disabled,
and anyone who

thinks you are is stupid."

They stood, eyeing each other for a few minutes.

"So, is this what we're going to be?" Thorn finally asked, meeting her eyes.

"I'm
hearing
and you're
deaf
?
I liked it
better when I was Thorn, and you
were
...
a stunning woman who smiled at me." He moved closer to her

and ran a finger along the edge seam of her quilt
. "
I read that in the old
days, if an eligible woman was interested in a young man, she'd invite

him inside her buffalo robe
,
and they would stand outside her family
'
s
tipi
,
wrapped up together in plain sight
,
whispe
ri
ng

114

114
A.C. Crispin and
Kathleen
O'Malley
softly,
while eve
ry
one pretended
not to see them."

"
When did you read about that
?"
Tesa asked
,
smiling w
ry
ly. "Last
night
,"
he confessed
. "
I looked it up. I love old traditions
,
don't you?"

She laughed.
"This
is
not
my family'
s tipi!"

He nodded. "
And ... I don
'
t know how to whisper to you. Tesa
,
how do
deaf people talk when they
'
re holding each other?"

"
By finger
-
w
ri
ting on each other's backs," she explained. He moved
boldly
,
surrounding her, quilt
an
d all, with his arms. Pulling her close
,
he wrote on her back
, "
Like this?"

He smelled woodsy and clean
, like T
ri
nity did, like home did,
an
d his
scent raised the hairs on her arms. Even through the blanket
,
she

could feel the strength in his body
,
his arms. Goose bumps sprouted

along Tesa
'
s arms as she realized how attracted she was to him.

His eyes glitt
e
re
d in the half light of the terminal. He spelled, "Kiss
you?"

No,
she thought re
g
re
tfully
.
She was too aware of the lack of p
ri
vacy
,
the nea
rn
ess of her own bed-and the role she'd have to play with the

Grus in the mo
rn
ing
.
Reluctantly she shook her head
an
d stepped
back.

Thorn looked disappointed,
but released her graciously. Tesa
re
ached

for the pad of paper
. "
In your reading, did you find out about Iktomi
?"

she wrote
,
showing him.

He shook his head.

"
He's a t
ri
ckster
,"
she signed
, "
a spider being
,
a legend. He must
have followed me he
re
... to b
ri
ng us together the night before I join
the Grus."

"Does he always introduce ...
lovers?"

"Only if it will cause tr
ouble
,"
she signed ruefully. "Soon, I'll be in Taller
'

s shelter ... I'll be one of the White Wind people
.
I think then we might

see each other differently." That was Iktomi-making people want what

they couldn't have. She wondered if he'd given the rousette its voice.

"You must be crazy if you think I'm giving up that easy," Thorn signed.
He
moved to take her in his arms again.

She pulled away. "
No! You
're
rushing me, Thorn!"

"You really mean that
,"
he signed
,
realizing it himself. She nodded
. "

This is happening too f
as
t. We only
met
yesterday! And I'll be here for a long time."

"Out
there,
not
here.
When will I see you again?"

115

SILENT DANCES 115 "We'll make time," she assured him, amused by

his urgency. "But, that's not really what we both came here for, is it?"

"
It's not against the rules," he signed, looking abashed.
"I have my own rules, Thorn."

He sighed, capitulating. "You really think we can find time
to get together

while you're in the shelter?"

She shrugged. "If I tell Taller I want time alone--" Thorn's head swiveled

abruptly, breaking their eye contact, preventing Tesa from finishing her

sentence. Her hands hung uselessly, while he scanned the darkness around

her room. When Thorn turned around, her tight-lipped expression startled

him.

"
I thought I heard-
-"
he sta
rt
ed to sign.

Tesa whipped her head around before he could finish, showing him the

effect of breaking eye contact with a signer. Touching her cheek, he turn
ed

her head gently.

"I'm sorry," he signed. "I thought I heard Meg."

"Thorn," she explained patiently, "you don't want me to be
deaf,
but I am.

You don't want to be
hearing--but
you are. Sound is, and always will be,

more important to you than anything I might have to say."

"That
'
s not true
!
I made a mistake
.
These are new rules for me, but I
can lea
rn
them
.
And this is one I won
'
t forget."

"
Yes, you will," she signed. "Just like you forgot I was deaf when you first showed up. You're careless with your eye
contact
.
I've watched you with

the Grus, and you
'
re the same way, and you know how they feel about

`
the look'! It could make them think you're dishonest, that you've got a

hidden agenda
.
And it makes
me
suspect your sinceri
ty. It seems as
though the only thing you can remember is that I
'
m a woman."

"
Listen ..." he began
,
and then blushed over that sign. "Stop that
.
I'm
listening."

"Meg will be furious if she finds me here with you."

"That'
s ridiculous
,"
Tesa insisted
. "
I'm an adult."

Thorn shook his head. "She'll be furious with
me.
She warned me to stay

away from you. She's afraid I'll distract
you, or maybe
...
myself ... but I had
to talk to you."

There was a long,
awkward pause
.
Finally
,
Tesa signed, "We'll meet
somehow
.
We'll sta
rt
over. Good night
, Thorn
." He left
,
moving surely
through the shelter.

With mixed emotions, Tesa sat down at the terminal. She

116

no longer knew how she felt,
or what she wanted ... except, that she

wished again that Thorn were deaf
.
She banged a key on the terminal

ang
ri
ly
,
calling up her previous program.

A sudden synchronized blink from the Mizari
voder and the hologramic

terminal distracted her, then a se
ri
es of strange symbols flickered

across both computers simult
an
eously. They beg
an
flashing in s
tr
obelike beats, like two computers talking back and fo
rt
h with no

human interference.

It was now so late that the
Crane'
s
computer was collecting data from the robot probes.
The surge of information transfer flooded the terminal and

the voder.

Tesa turn
ed them off
.
Let the machines have their p
ri
vate

conversations
,
she'd check on those markers tomo
rr
ow. She gl
an
ced out the window
,
and had to search for the moons. Father Sun got

up early
.
In three hours she'd be sta
rt
ing a new life.

Curling up on the cot, she wrapped up in her quilt as though it were a

cocoon,
and t
ri
ed not to think about someone lying not twenty
-
five
feet away
,
looking at the same stars, t
ry
ing not to think about her.
Can
he still hear the rousette
?
Tesa wondered.

Meg stared at the cu
rv
ed ceiling anxiously
.
At last
,
the glow from
Tesa
'
s computer had tu
rn
ed off; at last
,
the young woman had
crawled into her creaky cot. But was she sleeping? Meg doubted it
.

And Thorn
?
He was still tossing and tu
rn
ing.

Meg heard a groan from his room, an
d the complaints of Scott's ancient

bed as Thorn flopped over one mo
re
time. Her face bu
rn
ed
. Thorn
had
heard
her stumble against that new piece of equipment.
You dese
rv
ed to
get caught
,
she could hear Scott scold her.
You old busybody.

Oh, shut up,
she argued back.
You wouldn
'
t care if this whole place
turned into a
razgul,
a copulating
free-for-all.
What
'
s wrong with that
?

Scott
'
s memo
ry-
voice b
an
tered back.

That'
s not how work gets done! You wouldn
'
t listen to me when Thorn
first
came aboard and look what happened.

What happened? Two consenting adults ...

The Cr
an
e was
in an uproar
.
Bruce acted like an overbearing
father
,
and Lauren
was
hurt
,
embarrassed
,
and a
suka,
a bitch to work with
for weeks ...

Until Peter won her affections
.
It worked out fine
.
You always

117

SILENT DANCES 1 17
let these things bother you too much. And now

you're panicking because Thorn's interested in Tesa. Shame on you,

tiptoeing around, spying on them, like a wicked stepmother.

Chertovski durak
,
you damned fool, we don't have time for that! He

promised me
... Meg stopped the mental dialogue with herself. She was

having more and more of them since she'd come back, as though Scott was

always perched on her shoulder whispering in her ear.

Scott would've thrown Thorn at Tesa. He would've insisted Meg and he go

away so the lovers could have privacy. Scott would be chuckling merrily

while forcing Meg to sleep on the ground. It was all part of his humanity, his

warm, loving nature. It was why the Grus had taken to him so quickly. It was

why Meg loved him so much. Her best friend, the finest person she'd known.

Scott,
golubchik
moi, Meg flung an arm over her eyes,
I miss you so much.

Taller stood on one leg in the inky water, peering into the darkness. The

night sounds of the marsh washed over him, familiar and comforting. Weaver

had eaten well, while their chick slept in his egg. When she'd returned to the

nest to take over incubation, she'd felt confident, she liked Good Eyes, and

she'd seemed happier than she'd been in months. As soon as she'd settled

herself, the chick had begun cutting his way out.

Below the marsh sounds came the noisy splashing of the humans as they

approached. They were early. That pleased him.

Suddenly First-One-There and Relaxed broke through the reeds and waved

a greeting to him. He dipped his head politely to them, finally seeing Good

Eyes. First-One and Relaxed were giving Good Eyes last-minute

instructions, as parents would. First-One was warning her about the cold and

ordering her to eat well. Relaxed signed several times, "Please be careful."

Taller cocked his head to one side.

There was something new in the way the humans interacted, in the way

Relaxed looked at Good Eyes, the way he and FirstOne glanced at each

other. Could Relaxed be courting Good Eyes? Humans did not burst into

spontaneous dance when they became interested in each other. Puff had

told Taller that their courting was different, very physical. Also, some

humans, like Puff and First-One, had relationships of companionship that

118

never culminated in sex or child-
rearing
.
That
,
to Taller, seemed sad.

Taller had a sudden flash of jealousy.
No one would interfere with
his

family,
of which Good Eyes was now a part.

The three human
s shared gestures, which involved embraces and the

touching of their soft lips. Finally
,
Good Eyes looked at
Taller,
and her
eyes held his steadily.

She turn
ed back to the others
an
d signed
, "
I'll be fine. I'll eat three
meals. I'll brush my teeth
.
I've got to go!" Suddenly Relaxed held out a
h
an
d
,
palm forward
,
his sho
rt
,
five fingers making a sign Taller had never seen.
The thumb, first finger
,
and last
,
tiny finger pointed up
,
the
two middle fingers held down
.
First
-
One saw the sign and copied it.