Silver Clouds (20 page)

Tessa called to Dozer then set off down the track without waiting to see if he appeared. Shortly, she heard his soft padding and the occasional puff, and knew he was just behind.

So many conflicting thoughts were colliding in her brain, it was hard to work out which to focus on first. The rings, her future, Brendan, Aunty Spider's house. They were all meshing together. But after walking about a kilometre she had made a decision. She would tackle Aunty Spider's writing desk today – that would keep her mind active and focused. And it would get her closer to finishing the task her aunt had set. Then she could leave.

She turned and headed towards home.

On top of the desk, Tessa placed the two rings. She looked at them for a long time. Taking a deep breath, she opened the fold-down lid before seating herself in front of the desk. She wriggled to get comfortable, knowing it was unlikely to happen. She'd spent hours sitting on the hard, vinyl chairs, talking with Aunty Spider. This one would be just as uncomfortable as its mates that were gathered around the kitchen table.

Tessa took in the row of eight pigeonholes. They were filled with envelopes, some yellowing, some crisp and new. She took a deep breath and started on the first pigeonhole.

She sorted and filed into piles: bills from stores in Kalgoorlie, Norseman and Esperance. Some dated back to 1934. Why on earth had Spider kept them?

The second pigeonhole was full of old letters. Tessa put them to one side to read later.

The third pigeonhole was as boring as the first. But the fourth one made Tessa stop for a moment. It was full of birthday cards Spider had received from Tessa.

Slowly she opened the first one and saw her own childish writing tracing over her mother's dots, wishing Aunty Spider a very happy birthday. It was dated 1988. She would have been two! The next was from 1989, and so on right up until the present day.

The last one she had sent was still in its envelope. Tessa read the words and felt her stomach curl.

Dear Aunty Spider,

Happy birthday from the UK! I hope you have a great day.

Love Tessa.

Bloody hell! She hadn't even been bothered to write a decent letter to her favourite aunt on her birthday! ‘What a selfish bitch,' she muttered, throwing the card onto the rubbish pile.

When she'd finished cleaning out the pigeonholes she started on the drawers. The first one held pens and pencils, erasers, notebooks, and all the normal paraphernalia needed to run a small office. The second was full of telephone books and cheque books. She put them aside – they'd be needed by the executor, whoever that was.

The third drawer was empty. Tessa shut it with a bang. As she did so she realised it felt heavier than it should. She pulled it open again, right to the end of the runners. A small book lay up against its back wall.

Embossed on the front was ‘2010'. A diary. From last year.

A diary! She flicked to the first page. A mixture of excitement and hesitation made her tremble. It was one thing to clean out someone's house but something else altogether to read their diary. She glanced at the rings.
How else am I going to find out?
she thought. She began to read.

1 January 2009

Well, well, another year is finished and the new one has started. It's 2 a.m. as I write this and I wonder what the year will hold. The moon is full tonight, so I can see out across the plains. The outlines of the trees, the bushes and road. I can hear the party at the hut beginning to wind down. It's great for Ryan and Marni to be able to invite their friends over and let their hair down. For Marni in particular; I'm sure she finds it lonely out here even though she was brought up on a farm. Being fifty kilometres from town is very different to having to drive four hours to the closest shopping centre. And it's good for them to have friends their own age – not socialising all the time with their parents.

It's so nice to hear fun being had, because sometimes, it seems this station has seen nothing but heartbreak.

I wish I could have convinced Tessa to come home for tonight. To be with us all before she leaves. All I can do is hope that this England phase will be the right move for her. I suspect it will be. But only for a time.

Paul and Peggy seem tired. I wonder how many more years they will have out here? And I wonder how many I will have? Dr Mike told me on the last visit my heart could go at any time. I'm prepared, even though there is so much unfinished business for me here, but as usual I will set things in place – I will get it done, even if I'm not here.

It will be wonderful to see my William again.
It's been a long and lonely life without him.

Tessa sat back. This melancholy writing didn't sound at all like her practical, no-nonsense aunty! It unsettled her to think of Spider out here, looking over her home, wondering if she was going to die soon. Wishing for her husband. How lonely.

February 2009

A dry thunderstorm really rattled the countryside tonight. I can smell smoke, but it's coming in on the northerly breeze, so I think it's probably north of the highway.

The days have been unbearably hot – I've found that, as I've got older, the heat bothers me more. I wonder if I should have moved to Esperance like Elsie suggested, or even to Perth to be near her, but I'm sure that would have killed me quicker than living on the land I know. This property runs through my veins and I don't belong anywhere else. And William
is here, as are Len, George, Edward and Uncle Sam. I don't think I would like to leave them.

Tessa found herself nodding as she read that entry – Spider wouldn't have been happy unless she was on Danjar Plains.

March 2009

Tessa rang today. She is leaving for the UK in two days. I wish she'd have come back to Danjar Plains before leaving. I'm sure it would have helped her. I have my reservations about her going now – not that I would ever tell her.
I wonder if I did the right thing in contacting Darcy and organising this job for her and Jaz.
Maybe they needed some time apart? I don't know. But what I do know is she hasn't healed.
I know she relives that night over and over, still, even all these years later. But to be fair, don't we all? My Godfather! No one could walk away from that scene and not have nightmares. But, Tessa, oh Tessa, you've got to be strong, my love.
You're going to face challenges that will break down those fragile walls you've built. Don't fall in with people just because they shower you with their attention. You are so much better than that, but I fear you don't realise it yet.

Tessa sat back, tears rolling down her face. Aunty Spider knew her better than she knew herself. Just look at the John Smith incident.

Chapter 20

Tessa heard a car door slam. She ran her hands through her hair, before moving quickly to the door and pulling it open. Brendan smiled at her and she felt her knees go a bit soft.

‘Hi,' she said.

‘Hi, yourself,' he answered. Tessa felt herself being drawn towards him and by the time she landed at his chest, his mouth was on hers. ‘I think I might have missed you,' he growled.

‘What? Only might have?' She pulled away and looked up at him coyly. ‘What sort of a way is that to greet a girl?'

‘Oh, so you don't like my greeting? Well, how about this?' He swung her up into his arms and carried her into the house. Tessa's words became muffled as he pressed her to him. She was distracted by his muscles beneath her hands. She opened her eyes just for a moment and saw his black hair and tanned face. Lord, he was gorgeous.

The dog, perplexed, watched them for a moment then wandered out of the room.

Brendan seemed quite comfortable in the kitchen as he cooked dinner. Tessa had made up the spare bed and was now sitting in the kitchen watching him cook the steak he'd brought. ‘Surprisingly she found the smell enticing. After weeks now of eating mostly chops and sausages, she honestly felt that if she never ate red meat again it would be too soon. But somehow her childhood eating habits seemed to be reasserting themselves.

Sipping on her lemonade, she wondered whether she should explain why she wasn't drinking. She decided against it. She really didn't know Brendan that well and who knew if this was just a fling or something more. If it went on for much longer, she would think about telling him.

‘Got any bread?' Brendan asked.

‘I'll get it.' She went into the laundry where the freezer was, found the hard-frozen loaf and brought it back.

‘Spider used to make her own bread,' Brendan noted.

‘Yeah, she did. Her bread rolls were to die for,' Tessa agreed. She looked at him. ‘How did you know that?'

‘I spent a bit of time with her. Met her at the Muster two years ago and thought she was a bit of a cool chick, so I called in to see her most times I was heading into Balladonia. Think she liked the visits. Old Joe introduced us.'

‘Really? Good old Joe!' Tessa thought for a moment. ‘But, she never mentioned you in any of her letters?'

Brendan was quiet for a moment, digesting this. ‘Oh, well I was definitely here.'

Tessa wondered if he could shed any light on the rings. Had Spider talked to him at all? It would be just like her to pick up a stray, someone who most of the community thought was bad, and befriend them. Spider had a thing about the underdog.

‘I've got something to show you,' she said. ‘Be back in a moment.'

‘Be quick, this steak is almost done. Can't not eat it when it's ready.'

‘I found these before I went over to Harrison's,' she called from the lounge.

Back in the kitchen, she opened the box and held it out to him.

‘What's this?'

‘Well, I assume they're wedding rings, but I don't know who they belong to.'

Brendan took them out and looked at the rings closely. ‘They're hand-crafted, I reckon. And old. I can't tell you a date. But they're definitely before the fifties.'

‘How do you know that?'

‘I've got lots of talents you don't know about yet.'

She let the ‘yet' bit pass. ‘I thought they were old, too. I mean, they're new in that they've never been worn, and yet someone loved someone else enough to have them made and engraved. Got to be a story there. Did you see this?' She pointed to the inside of one of the bands.

‘That's a lot of letters for such a small space – would have taken someone a long time to engrave them,' Brendan agreed. ‘Now put them down, this steak isn't going to wait.'

They sat at the table and Tessa told him all about Spider's letter, and how she had to clean out the house and unravel a mystery. ‘That's why I feel these rings are so important,' she finally finished. ‘And the steak is just divine, by the way. It's melting in my mouth!'

Brendan smiled. ‘The amount you've been talking I didn't think you would have had time to taste it.'

Tessa sat back in her chair.

‘You're an interesting study, Brendan McKenzie,' she said, narrowing her eyes to examine him. ‘A mix of country boy, bad boy and international man of mystery. What
is
your story?'

He laughed loudly. ‘That's the first time I've ever been described like that! What can I say? I went to a good boarding school. The house mistresses taught me my manners, my mother taught me to cook and all sorts of other good habits, and I'm an adrenalin junkie And the mystery? Well, a bit of mystery is healthy, don't you think? Wouldn't want you getting bored too soon.' His wink was like an exclamation mark.

In the middle of the night, Tessa got up to go to the toilet and saw the kitchen light was on. Too sleepy to see clearly, she padded towards the glow and pushed open the door.

Brendan glanced up from the table and the book he was reading. ‘Sorry, did I wake you?'

‘Nah. Wondered where you were. Night.' She stumbled back to bed. As she was settling down she thought she heard the click of the writing desk opening, but was asleep before it registered.

The next morning, Brendan kissed her goodbye. ‘I won't be around for a month or so,' he said through the window of the ute. ‘I've got some jobs to do in the city. Then I'm heading over east to see my Aunty. Mum's sister. She's turning seventy and I want to be there. But,' he said tapping her nose, ‘I'll be back in time for the Muster.'

‘Of course you can.' Tessa gathered all of her strength to hide her disappointment. A month? She wasn't sure if they had an ‘arrangement' or not!

‘So I'll see you there?'

‘Absolutely.'

‘And I'll ring if I can, but I might be off-air for the first part of the trip.'

She wanted to ask him what he'd be doing, but was wary of sounding too much like a prying wife, so she just smiled and nodded, even though she could feel loneliness building up inside her.
He hasn't even gone yet
, she chided herself.

‘Well, I'll see you at the Muster, then.'

He left in a cloud of dust, Tessa staring after him. That was just the Nullarbor way, she thought, as she went back inside. No designated meeting time, just ‘be there and I'll find you'.
Well
, she thought huffily.
I might find someone else first.

Then she cried.

Tessa stood at the writing desk, looking for any signs something had moved. As she'd opened it after Brendan left, the click had jogged her memory. She was sure she'd heard it last night, but why would Brendan be looking in here? And nothing seemed to be missing or disturbed. It was a good thing Tessa had finished clearing it out because otherwise there would have been no way of knowing. With the writing desk cleaned out, Tessa was sitting on the floor, reading over some of the letters between Elsie and Spider. And the diaries! She'd laughed so much her cheekbones hurt and once, when Spider was describing a shearing time antic, Tessa had actually cried tears of amusement. Spider really had a way with words.