Silver Miracles (11 page)

He stepped forward and lowered his face until his mouth was a breath away from hers. "I don’t know what I would have tried next, but I would have had to try something." His lips softly grazed hers, and Trinity barely heard the moan that escaped from her mouth and went into his. The blood thundered through her veins, prohibiting any coherent thought.

Chase’s hand slid under her sweater and up to one breast, like a homing pigeon coming to roost. "Have I ever told you how glad I am that you never wear a bra?" he questioned huskily. "The fact that you don’t means that I can reach out and touch the bareness of your breasts . . . at any time I choose . . ." His thumb was now rubbing, oh, so lightly, back and forth across the tensed nipple. ". . . in any place we happen to be . . . under any circumstances . . . and no one would know what I was doing to you but us."

Trinity clung to him—she was capable of no other action. With one hand still on her breast, he used the other to quickly skin her sweater over her head.

"It seems like we’ve been apart forever," Chase whispered thickly, as he unbuttoned his shirt—his eyes never leaving hers, his other hand staying firmly in place—and then pulled her breast to his chest, rubbing her nipple against the tingling mat of curling silver-white hair.

Trinity slowly sank to her knees, her hands finding the waistband of Chase’s pants and pulling him down with her. Chase shrugged out of his shirt at the same time that she unfastened his pants, and he finished undressing while Trinity lay down on the carpet and stripped off her jeans.

Soon Chase was lying beside her, and Trinity reached for him. There was something elemental in the way they came together. The powerful force of their combined passions raged out of control. Chase and Trinity’s erotic motions, their explicit cries, their hungry demands, all came to an eager, heart-stopping climax, like a ton of skyrockets going off all at once, and, finally, all the blazing colors of their fire showered through their bodies in an ultimate, shimmering release.

They lay there, on the thick white carpet, still joined together, for quite some time, until their breathing became steadier and their pulses returned to normal. After a while, Chase picked up Trinity and carried her to his bed, which already had the covers turned down. He got in beside her and immediately took her into his arms again.

Trinity snuggled contently into his shoulder, one arm and one leg thrown across him. "I think we’re even."

Chase gave a little laugh. "What on earth are you talking about?"

She ran a finger teasingly around one of his nipples, enjoying the feel of it and the way Chase drew in his breath at her touch. "After the night that you had John Phillips fly me home, I thought I would never see you again. I went through a hell of my own in the weeks that followed, wondering what you were doing and who you were with." Her finger moved to the other nipple, tracing random patterns around and over it. "Then you called and came over, taking charge of Stephanie just as if nothing had happened."

"Trinity!" Chase took hold of her finger, holding it motionless against his chest. She could feel his heart thudding against her hand. "The reason I had Phillips fly you back was because I was afraid I would lose you for good if I took you home. I was so upset when you turned down what I considered to be a damn good proposition, that I was afraid of what I would say to you. I had to walk out of the room before I did or said something to you that I didn’t really mean and would definitely regret later."

Chase turned her over on her back, his hand going unerringly to her breast, and began to softly stroke the erogenous area. "And then I had to go to England for several weeks and I felt it was better not to call you. I didn’t want to discuss things over the telephone. When I finally got home, Stephanie was sick and you had your hands full."

His mouth swooped down, covering one nipple. Trinity’s stomach turned over with desire, and she locked her hands behind his head, pulling him even closer, fusing his mouth to her breast. "Chase."

He hadn’t really said what she wanted him to say. He hadn’t mentioned the word love. But for the moment, it didn’t seem to matter.

Hours later, Trinity stretched languorously awake. Turning slightly, her eyes encountered the warmth and the blue of Chase’s eyes, watching her. Leaning on one elbow, he gave her a relaxed, caressing smile.

Trinity grinned at him. "Do you enjoy watching people sleep, Mr. Colfax?"

"Well, let’s put it this way," Chase said wryly. "I never have before, but there’s something about the way you do things that fascinates me. There’s an uninhibited joy about you."

Trinity laughed and glanced up at the ceiling. "Chase! Where’s the mirror?"

"I had it taken down after your last visit here."

"But why?"

His hand began stroking the length of her thigh. "Because you and I don’t need anything to stimulate us but each other."

Feeling his hand move to the inside of her thigh, she pointed a warning finger at his face. "Don’t you start anything else, Chase Colfax. I’m starving. You’ve got to feed me!"

Chase grinned complacently. "I’ve already taken care of that. I’ve put one of Mangus’s special casseroles in the oven, and it is heating even as we kiss."

Giving her an especially tender kiss, he continued, smiling at the bemused expression on her face. "Mangus condescends to come into town periodically and cook up a number of properly exotic concoctions that I can just take out of the freezer and heat up whenever I get hungry. He never stays long, though, because he has fallen in love with east Texas and, once he’s done what he considers to be his duty by me, he can’t wait to get back."

"Great. When will it be ready?"

Chase kissed her again. "In a little while. It was frozen solid, and I didn’t want to use the microwave, because I didn’t know how long you would be asleep." He ran a finger across the soft lips he had just kissed. "How long can you stay? Is your sister taking care of Stephanie?"

Trinity searched Chase’s face, wondering how he was going to take her answer. "Yes, she’s staying at Sissy and Larry’s. I can stay for a couple of days; then I need to get back."

"Okay," Chase agreed easily. "I’ll arrange my work load so that I can go back with you."

Trinity took a deep breath and looked away. "No."

"Why? What’s wrong?"

She looked back at him, noting the new softness in his eyes. Dear Lord, she prayed silently, please don’t let the ice come back. "Nothing’s wrong, Chase. But we’ll only be together when I come to Dallas, and then it can only be for two nights a week."

Pausing, she waited for the explosion. It never came. Instead, Chase’s hand came out and combed its way through her hair, tenderly stroking the silky strands that had spread out across the pillow.

"Why, Trinity?" he questioned gently.

She prayed for strength. "I can’t forget my obligation to Stephanie, Chase. She’s got to be my first consideration. It would only confuse her if you slept at our house. She’d wake up one morning and you’d be there. Then, just as she would start to get used to the idea of your being at the farm, you would have to take one of your trips or go into Dallas and you wouldn’t be around for a while. When you returned, she’d have to start getting used to your being there all over again. And, of course, inevitably, the time would come when . . . when you wouldn’t come back." Trinity didn’t want to talk about it, much less think about it.

Chase’s hand turned her face toward him. "I don’t want to interfere with your raising of Stephanie. I’ve told you before that you’re a good mother. And since I’m in the position of knowing that kids aren’t always lucky enough to get good, loving mothers, I’d never try to change that. It just seems to me that there must be some sort of a compromise that we could reach. I want to be with you more than two nights a week."

"Those are part of my conditions, Chase," Trinity maintained bravely. "Besides not wanting to leave Stephanie for more than two days at a time, there’s the farm to think about."

"Regardless of whether you agree to come to Dallas more than two days a week, I want to hire someone to do the farm work for you. I’ve wanted to for a long time now. I’d also like to buy you a new car, one that I wouldn’t be afraid will break down."

"No. Absolutely not. I’ve managed this long by myself and I’ll continue to."

"But there’s no reason to do that. You’ve got me now."

"No, Chase," she contradicted very softly. "I don’t have you. Not really."

"Yes, you do," Chase whispered huskily, resuming his stroking of her thigh.

Trinity’s eyes roamed lovingly over Chase’s face. Could she, given enough time, make him understand what she meant? And would she even have the time she needed? How soon would it be before he tired of her, the way he had grown tired of the girl on the phone?

Chase’s hands grew more insistent, and it was a long time before they remembered that Mangus’s casserole was still in the oven.

#

There were times in the following weeks when Trinity thought she was succeeding with Chase. Going on the assumption that you learn to love by the way you are loved, Trinity committed herself totally to him. She dared to risk the emotional lows as well as the highs of loving a man like Chase, who had never learned to give of himself.

She devoted both her mind and her body to Chase, fully and intensely, and she allowed no shadows to fall over their time together.

The shadows usually started to encroach around the perimeters of her mind as she drove home after having been with Chase for two days and two nights. It was then that she faced, with as much objectivity as she could summon, the enormity of the task that she had set for herself, and she tried not to think about what he did during the five nights when he wasn’t with her.

It was true that Chase had become softer, warmer and even slightly more open with her. And in his own way, he devoted just as much of his mind and body to her as she did to him.

Chase did everything fast—decision making, buying and selling, travel—but when it came to making love with Trinity, he did it slowly, with infinite care and patience, and it was like nothing she had ever imagined that she might experience.

But Trinity knew that the concept of being able to enjoy sexual relations with someone for a period of time with the idea that you could simply break it off whenever you wished, left out the emotional element. And the knowledge that their relationship could very well be an impermanent one cast many a dark shadow over her heart when she was alone.

She stuck by her conditions, and Chase didn’t press her to change them. He seemed to have accepted them. He called her every night and often dropped by to see her and Stephanie during the five days they were apart. A couple of times she even had Sissy, Larry and Chase over to dinner together. She so desperately wanted them to like one another, and they seemed to be slowly forming a friendship based on mutual respect and admiration.

At last, however, Trinity began to notice a change in Chase. It was so subtle, at first, that she wondered if she was imagining things. She wasn’t, though. She finally had to admit to herself that it was definitely there—a certain coldness that she would pick up in his voice, or a sort of hardness that would appear in his eyes. And as the days passed, Chase became edgy and argumentative—to the degree that Trinity couldn’t help but wonder if he had already begun to tire of her.

One evening, late in March, Trinity lay on the bed in Chase’s apartment, watching him dress for their evening out. They had both had a shower earlier, but Trinity didn’t feel up to getting dressed yet. She much preferred to lie there, watching the way the muscles rippled under the smooth skin of Chase’s back as he moved about the room.

Taking a white dress-shirt from a drawer, Chase turned and looked at Trinity. "I have to leave in the morning for Europe. I’d feel a lot better if you’d let Phillips fly you home and have someone else drive your car back."

"How long are you going to be gone?"

Chase shrugged into his shirt and frowned at her. It had not escaped his attention, evidently, that she had ignored his last statement. "Will you let Phillips fly you home or not?" There was a noticeable lack of patience in his voice this evening.

"No, Chase, I won’t. I’ll drive home, as I usually do. I’ll be just fine."

Chase didn’t respond, but his anger was apparent. Trinity watched while he rammed his shirt into the waist of the dark pants. There was something wrong. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but an ominous chill had begun to creep into her bones.

Trinity repeated her question. "How long will you be gone?"

"It’s a little hard to say," Chase grunted at her. "But I know that the trip will be an extended one."

"Why didn’t you tell me before?"

"When I’m around you, Trinity, I don’t always remember business matters." Chase gave her a sardonic smile as he stalked into the dressing room.

Trinity clenched her fist on top of the gray suede that covered the bed. Was this it? Was it the end? Perhaps the writing had been on the wall for a long time now, and she had just refused to read it.

At the outset, she had made the condition that she would be the one to put a time limit on their relationship. But now that she knew the end was drawing near, would she be able to do it? Did she have the courage?

Chase reappeared, tie and coat in hand. "I want to leave you some money, Trinity, just in case you need something before I get back."

"No! How many times do I have to tell you. I won’t take money from you."

"You’re just being stubborn, Trinity, and a little dense." He jerked the tie around his shirt collar and began to knot it. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with my giving you money. Don’t read things into the offer that aren’t there. It’s nothing more than a desire on my part to insure that you and Stephanie have everything you need while I’m gone."

"I won’t—"

Chase grimly held up one hand, silencing her. "At least think about it." He shoved his arms into the jacket and looked at her. "I’ll be downstairs. I’ve got some calls to make. You’d better get dressed. We don’t have much time."