Silverlight (4 page)

Magnus seemed dazed. “My own brother did that?”

“I couldn’t believe it either. After he ruined
my hand, he dragged me to the edge of the forest. The battle was over by then,
the field covered with the dead and dying. There was a great deal of confusion
and chaos. Apparently, no one saw him wound me, and you were too far away to
hear me crying out for you.” I nervously picked at the hem of the tunic. “I
used to pray someone would go to my father and tell him Tariq had been seen
dragging me off, but I don’t know that it would’ve mattered. Beyond that bit of
knowledge, my father wouldn’t have known where to look for me.”

“Kymber, I’m sorry. I should’ve been there.”

“How could you have known what Tariq had
planned once you were out of sight? I bled all over myself, barely able to draw
a proper breath because my hand hurt so damned bad. When we got into the shadow
of the trees, your brother forced me to my knees. Garai soon came down the
trail on a black stallion. They laughed at me, bleeding into the dirt, my sword
hand destroyed. Tariq handed Silverlight to him then tied a rough rope around
my neck. They both hoisted me into the saddle of the extra horse Garai brought
with him, and I was led off to Pentorus and eight years of captivity.”

“Gods. Kymber.” Magnus tried to take me into
his arms.

“Don’t.” I pushed him away. “I’m not finished
yet. Garai had his healer care for my injury but the man was incompetent and my
hand healed badly.” I shuddered. “I fought him at first. Garai. I was in the
dungeon, then he transferred me to a cage in his aviary, just like one of his
prized birds. Blindfolded, gagged, my good arm bound to the bars. Stripped of
my clothing and my dignity. I knew what he was doing, but . . .  well, I had a
broken heart and I didn’t care.”

“Sensory deprivation. The fastest way to break
a prisoner,” Magnus murmured.

“That’s right. When I didn’t break fast enough,
he tossed in starvation. Then one day I thought, ‘Why are you suffering like
this? You know what he wants. Give it to him and survive.’” The hem of the blue
tunic I wore had become fascinating for some reason. I continued to work it
over with the fingers of my left hand. “I just couldn’t figure out why I wanted
to live.”

“You don’t have to tell me the rest. I can
imagine.”

“No, you can’t. Not if you lived a hundred
lifetimes, you can’t imagine what I went through.”

Magnus went silent, regarding me with those
fathomless dark eyes.

“I learned compliance. Obedience. Submitting didn’t
hurt nearly as much as fighting him did.” I blew out a breath. “I must’ve been
convincing. After a while, he gave me my own room, upstairs in the south wing
not far from the aviary. It was locked, but at least I was fed and allowed to
dress. It was all an illusion though, to make my life appear normal, until the
sun went down. Then…”

Tears welled up as I remembered the cruelty. “I
survived by hating you, Magnus. I killed you over and over in my head. I
thought you loved me.”

His voice was soft, gentle. “I did love you,
Kymber. I loved you more than my own life. I had no part in what Tariq did.
I’ve never been married. You, of all people, should know that.”

That was the problem. I believed him. So much
time . . . lost. 

“I thought I knew you. I thought I knew
everything about you, but I couldn’t imagine Tariq would lie about such a
thing. In the end, it was just a ruse to separate us.”

“Ten years. Ten long years,” Magnus whispered.
His shoulders had bunched into tight knots. 

“I don’t know if I’ll ever get over it,” I
whispered. “I can’t look at you without feeling . . .” What did I feel? Fear?
Fury? Hate? Regret? All of those things at once?

“Did you escape? Or did he finally let you go?”
Magnus shook his head. “How did you come to be living in a cave so close to
home?”

“Pentorus was attacked by Munlo goblins a
little over two years ago. They didn’t care for the way Garai treated their
queen during a visit.”

“Goblins?” His brow furrowed.

“Goblins. They live in the Shadowlands. Seasoned
fighters, they are. Tough little bastards.”

“How do you know this?”

“I kept my mouth shut and my ears open. I took
in as much information as I could. Dinners were excellent for reconnaissance,
especially the one where the king of Pentorus insulted the queen of the Munlo
goblins by asking her to share his bed.” I laughed. “You’d think Garai would’ve
known better, but he was deliberately reckless. Spoiling for a fight.”

“Go on.”

“And the goblins gave him one. I have the
benefit of hindsight, of course.” I nodded. “But my best chance – my
only
chance – to escape was during that battle. I’d told Garai I liked to read, and
I was a perfect pain in the ass until he brought me books. Then I told him I
couldn’t see to read them, so he had his guards light the candles in the
chandelier that hung over my bed in the evenings. The candles never burnt for
long – an hour or two at the most – but that fire was the only weapon I had
available to me.”

 I glanced up at Magnus. He was listening with
rapt attention. “Garai made sure I couldn’t reach the candles. The guards would
haul the chandelier nearly to the ceiling by the chain after they lit them,
then they pulled it through a thick iron loop in the wall and locked it with
three or four padlocks. I would stare up at those lit candles for the entire
time I was supposed to be reading, wondering how I could get them down. And if
I did, would I have the time to start a roaring fire and escape?” I laced my
fingers together. “I was terrified.”

“The battle with the goblins bought you time?”

“Oh, yes. Enough. It turns out I was viewing
things all wrong. I’d been concentrating on a way to get the burning candles
down to me.” I gave a short laugh.

Magnus smiled. “And you worked until you found
a way to get yourself up to them.”

“That’s right. I stacked two night tables on my
bed and climbed atop them. Gods, they were so unstable and wobbly, I nearly
fell off a couple of times, but desperation is a powerful thing. I took the
four candles down one by one and set the drapes on fire first. When I had a
respectable blaze going, I dragged the drapes across the room to the wooden
door and laid them along the threshold, so the air would feed the flames. I
then dismantled a loose post from the bed and used it as a battering ram. I
kept pounding and banging while the door burned, and I got so damned tired.” I
stared up at the hardwood beams overhead. “The door finally burst outward, and
it’s a good thing, as the room had filled with smoke by then. I covered my face
with one of the tiebacks from the drapes and ran. I don’t know how my feet
weren’t burnt running through those flames. I didn’t see anyone, so I just kept
going, one door after another, until I was outside. Near the back gate. I
opened it and ran until I collapsed. I knew about the caves near Jalartha, so I
headed in that direction once I recovered enough to walk.”

“Weren’t you afraid Tariq would find you?”

“I was terrified, but I had nowhere else to go.
I stayed hidden, gathering food from the forest in the dark if I could. Fairly
difficult with a butchered hand. I bartered the surplus to passing peddlers for
knives, clothing, and other goods. I‘d amassed quite a store of weapons and
things, but they robbed me. Those men. More than once. That’s what they really
wanted.” I shrugged. “I suppose all my things are gone now. Not that the
weapons would’ve been useful, with my fighting hand like this.”

Magnus leaned forward and hung his head. He
stayed like that for the longest time. When he finally lifted his gaze to mine,
tears had filled his eyes. “I’m sorry, Kymber. I’m sorry for you. I’m sorry for
me. That ten years has been lost, but…will you stay with me?”

Eight years of pain and two of living
hand-to-mouth in a cave had encased my heart in solid ice, but it thawed a bit
when I saw his tears.

 Magnus. Once my friend, my lover, my
everything. Funny how my hatred for him had kept me afloat in a sea of despair.
To find out that he was innocent felt like a fist in my gut. Magnus
hadn’t
betrayed me, but I didn’t know what to do with the anger I still felt.

“I’m a cripple now,” I said. “I just thought
I’d point that out.”

“You’re not a cripple,” he said. “You have two
hands.”

“I’m of no use to anyone anymore. You should take
me back to the caves.” 

Magnus surprised me by pulling me to my feet
and holding me so tightly I couldn’t draw a breath to object.

 I used to have the most agonizing circular
arguments with myself in Pentorus. I was sure Magnus would reconsider what he’d
done and come looking for me. I didn’t think the words of love and commitment
we’d spoken to one another were a lie, even if he
did have a wife.

He never came for me though, and I hated him
even more for it. Wishes and anger, hope and disappointment, over and over
again. I nearly went insane. Now I knew the truth. He hadn’t come for me
because he thought I was dead.

“Will you stay with me?” he whispered again.

I could hear it in his voice. We’d had it all
and lost it. Did he hope to rekindle our love? Was he was the same man I
remembered?

Good question. I certainly was not the same
woman. If he knew half the things I’d done just to see another sunrise, he
would’ve helped Cort cut my throat instead of rescuing me. “I don’t know. I
have nightmares. I can’t stop being afraid. You deserve better.”

His hands circled my back. “I know what I
deserve. I can handle your nightmares. Your fears need to fear
me
.” 

“Magnus, you don’t understand. I don’t think I
can promise you a second chance. I don’t know if I can promise you anything. I
live day to day and . . .”

“Hush, woman.” He slid one hand up my neck and
whispered in my ear. “Where is Silverlight? Where is your sword?”

“Hanging behind Garai’s throne. He said it was
a prized trophy.”

“Do you want it back?”

A shiver slipped down my spine. “I can’t . . .
I can’t think of how we’d ever get it.”

I didn’t say it, but I thought it: “I’m not
willing to go into Pentorus for it.”

“We’ll take it back together.” A muscle in his
jaw jumped. “We were two of the most feared swords in Calari once. We will be
again.”

“Have you taken a good look at my sword hand? I
can’t fight anymore.”

 Magnus stared at me, his eyes hard and dark as
stone. “You will
.
We have a score to settle with my brother and Garai. It’ll
take time to train you again – you’re terribly scrawny – but in the end,
they’ll both be given only one choice.”

“What choice would that be?”

“A trip to the grave via Silverlight or
Bloodreign.” 

I took a deep breath and eyed the spittoon. He
sounded so sure, but the thought of going back to that awful place to get
Silverlight made me physically ill.

“Stay with me, Kymber.” He pressed his lips
against my neck. “Please.”

Stay with him. Where? And what choice did I
truly have? I knew going back to the caves was dangerous, but I’d thought to
give him an out. “I’ll stay with you, Magnus, though I think the road we’ll
travel together will be long and hard.”

He kissed my forehead. “Not as long and hard as
the road I traveled without you.”

D
espite sharing a
heartfelt embrace, spending the night in the same room with Magnus was awkward
and frightening. I didn’t want him that close to me until I sorted things out
in my head.

 Thankfully, he didn’t push. He offered me the
bed, but I declined, choosing to sleep sitting upright in the corner instead.

“I’ll find another room,” Magnus said, turning
away. “You’re hurt. You should sleep on the bed.”

“Don’t leave!”

He started at my forceful command, staring at
me with wide eyes.

“I don’t want to be alone tonight.”

“Well. All right, but at least take the pillow
and quilt.” He held them out to me.