Simmer: Erotic Romance (Fireside Series) (2 page)

“
I know.” She looked so sad and depleted. “I know you do, but you will survive. You always do.” She turned and walked away. I sat on Luke’s bed to try to find the hope in all of this. I drug my hands across the quilt covering his simple single bed. I drew hearts with my fingers while the tears began to subside. As I was drawing a final heart near his pillow I felt something below the quilt. A piece of paper, a note. For me, from Luke.

Cheyenne,

If you’re reading this, then you know I’ve gone. It was for the best. Our love wasn’t meant to last. I’m sorry, but I’ve known it from the minute I met you. You’re like a storm, so strong and powerful. You blew me away.

I smiled for a moment at his pathetic pun.

But you’re too much for one man. I could never keep you just for myself. I didn’t leave you because I don’t love you, I left because I love too hard, too strong. It wouldn’t be fair to you.

Don’t try to find me, I’m a nomad, you never will. Just start something new. I’ll miss you beautiful.

Luke

My heart broke over the little piece of paper that explained his reason for leaving. It was the only thing I had left of him, a note, and my broken heart.

+

It took weeks for me to get out of my
dark hole from losing Luke. It was almost like a death in the family, but worse. I had such little closure, there been no conversation about him leaving before he had vanished. And he had completely disappeared. Linda and Fred didn’t even mention his, it was like he had never existed. I’d gone into town asking local hotels about new guests, visiting the bar that the other staff frequented, even going to the local library a few times just to see if Moby Dick was in stock. But there was absolutely no sign of him. Luke was a ghost.

At some point
I knew I would have to give up trying to find him though I continued to have hope. I knew that if it was meant to be one day we would find each other again, though I didn’t think that would be any time soon.

My home was the skeleton of what was once a family. My father and I acted like we didn’t know each other and I spent most of my evenings out, avoiding him. I rode constantly allowing the horses and the speed to take away my pain. It helped for a while but I knew soon I would have to figure my life out.

+

When spring arrived I was settled on starting over. It was time to find a new place to live, to bury the past with Luke at my father’s ranch and find my own path.
I had recently found an old college friend to share an apartment with in town and without a job I was busy developing a business plan for my own ranch. I had a lot in savings and a huge trust my father had set up for me in high school. It was time to put it to good use.

“
Jade, I’m going to my meeting!” I called hoping she would hear me over her loud puffing. She was always exercising, a complete health nut.

“
What?” I heard her yell back. She turned off her music so she could hear me.

“
I’m going to the bank, for my business loan!”

She popped her head around the staircase looking down from our second story apartment, poor tenants below us listened to her work outs six days a week.

“Oh shit, was that today?” She looked down at her outfit. “I wasn’t supposed to go right? I mean for moral support or something?”

I laughed,
“No moral support required. Just tell me I can do this.”

She smiled, her brown braids falling into her face.
“You can do it!” She gave me a double thumbs up. I loved her, if nothing else for her constant optimism.

+

I was sitting on a cold wooden chair running my fingers back and forth along the spokes. I had put on my best interview suit and clutched my portfolio of financial investments. I was praying that today would finally be the day. I looked up and down the hallway but I couldn’t see anyone who was waiting for my appointment. I checked my watch again, I had even worn a watch just to see more professional, but it was ten o’clock on the dot and still no one had rounded the corner to greet me. Banks are scary places when you’re asking for money. I was terrified that buying my own ranch wasn’t going to go as I had planned.

A lot of my
life hadn’t gone as I had planned since I had graduated college only two years ago. After Luke had left I spent the last several months trying to find myself. Collin had moved on, he was already married and starting a family, and here I was, a scared child sitting in a bank asking for money. My father had helped me move in with Jade but things hadn’t been the same since our argument about Luke, not that they were really that great to begin with. He was more positive about my reconnection with Jade and my plan to buy my own ranch. He refused to be an investor, but that was fine with me, I had no intention of asking him for money once I had moved out. Deciding to strike out on my own was terrifying but in less than six months I had gotten my own apartment and started building my financial portfolio. Luckily Daddy hadn’t taken away my trust fund, and honestly somewhere deep down I think he appreciated that I was using it for a business venture instead of picking out china. I really think my mother would have supported my decision. Linda and Fred come over and visit once a week, she still makes me the best homemade bread pudding. We sit in front of my fireplace and talk about the more simple things in life. They don’t ask about my business and I don’t open up to them about either, and we never talk about my love life. The cowboy with scars on his back had scared my heart forever. I had dated a few guys here and there, but no one local struck my fancy and I was content with that. I had my great love in my life even if was only for a few days. And what’s that saying? Better to have loved and lost than to never loved at all? What they don’t mention in that is how bad it hurts when you lose that love. But at least I finally figured out what I wanted to do with my life and that was something. So now I was a career woman. I would be strong, brave, and completely stubborn. I considered all of those great qualities. Now… I was hoping the bank would too.

I gripped my portfolio to my chest and waited anxiously for what could be the most important meeting of my life
. I was looking at my reflection in the shiny linoleum floor when I heard my shoes clicking down the hall.

“
Cheyenne? Cheyenne is that you? They told me I was meeting with the beautiful client today but I never expected it to be you.”

I turned my head to see Blake Howard standing in a
crisp black suit with the black tie and a white collared shirt. I hadn't seen Blake since high school, we had a little bit of a fling Junior year but that seemed like a lifetime ago. Time had been awfully good to him. I stood up quickly dropping my portfolio from my lap.

“
Blake! I didn't expect to see you here either. Oh I'm such a mess today. I guess it's just nerves.” I reached down to pick up my portfolio at the same time that he bent down and our hands brushed for a moment. When we looked up our eyes met and I was surprised that I remembered how they had had little gold flakes in them.

I stood up chewing on my lower lip,
“I'm sorry I must seem so ridiculous right now.”

He shook his head handing me back my portfolio.
“Not at all. Why don’t we go into my office and discuss your business plan?”

He opened an old wooden door that I had been sitting next to
and extended his arm for me to walk in. “Thank you, listen if this makes you uncomfortable…”

He closed the door behind him and strode over
to sit behind his expensive looking desk. “Not at all, it’s been years since I've seen you! How have you been?”

I smiled as brightly as possible concealing the lies
I held underneath my skin. “Oh just great! You know I was just living with my dad, but now I’m trying to get a place of my own.”

He nodded his head and leaned back in his chair. He was getting comfortable which made me feel more at ease.

“That's right weren't you supposed to get married? I remember someone saying something about last year. You know bunch of us still go down to Shakey’s and drink on Fridays.”

“
Shakey’s? Really? I thought they only served beer to underage kids.”

He laughed,
“Not anymore I guess. We just go down there and see what everyone's up to. You should come. I know everyone would really like to see you.”

“
Really?” I scoffed. “Like who? High school people?”

He nodded, drawing me in with his light golden eyes.

“I haven't seen any of those people in the years. Probably since my sophomore year in college. I don't know why any of them would have any interest in me anymore.”

He smiled and shook his head,
“I know one reason.”

“
Oh?”

“
You're single. You were one of the most highly sought after girls in high school. Don't think much has changed.”

I laughed to myself,
“Well played. Okay I'll come, but can you promise me one thing first?”

He smiled,
“Sure.” He leaned forward on the desk to be closer to me placing his face only inches away from my own.

“
You'll help me get a ranch first?” I shook my portfolio in my hands.

He sat back slowly placing his fingers together underneath his chin.
He was studying me with his eyes. And from where they were settling I could tell he was interested in
all
my assets. “You’ve got a deal.”

+

I watched as Jade curled her braids around thick curling iron preparing for a night out in our small town. I could never understand how she got her hair to look like that. Even in college I would spend hours in front of the mirror and she would get out her curling iron, some mascara, and a hot dress and be ready to go. It was a complete mystery to me, I had stick straight hair that refused to do much of anything. Jade was so stunning with her chocolaty brown skin and dark black hair. And tonight she was practically glowing with excitement.

“
I can't believe Blake Holden invited you out! You know what this means?”

She had
her eyes on me in the reflection of the mirror, watching for what she expected would be an epic reaction, but I just shrugged. “Jade you know he's not really my type. I was just flirting to get the bank deal, and I must know what I’m doing since I was so successful. Can you believe it only took a week for me to get all the paperwork approved?”

Jade shook her head,
“You know he pushed for you to get passed faster than probably any client he’s ever had. And girl, you also know if he asked you out, you’re getting a lot more than a loan.”

I ignored her little quip so she moved on,
“Have you picked a place out yet? You know I think getting out of this apartment would do me some good too.” She winked in the mirror.

“
I did actually. I'm going put an offer on it next week. I already discussed it with my commercial realtor and she thinks that it's a really great piece of property. The house was recently flipped so it’s brand new on the inside, but the barn needs some work. And then I'm going have to purchase horses and cattle, but that will come by the end of summer. I can't believe it's all coming together Jade, I'm finally getting my life back on track.”

“
And don't you think it’s about time to have a man back in your life? And don't tell me about how you've dated, because we both know that isn't really true. A couple one night stands here and there doesn't count as dating someone.”

She put down her curling iron
to cross her arms and turn around to assess me. As she leaned back on the sink counter I had to admit she was a little bit right, and with her jacked arms and steely gaze she looked formidable. I wasn’t going to argue with her.

I
put my hands up in surrender, “Okay you're right. It would be nice to have Blake visiting me on my new ranch. But really Jade he's not my type. Besides I think I heard once that he goes for girls with a little bit more darker complexion, if you know what I mean?”

She smiled devilishly,
“You mean he likes a little chocolate with his white milk?”

I rolled my eyes and laughed,
“You're such a mess.”

She turned back around to the
check her lipstick in the mirror, “Look who's talking.”

I fake pouted,
“That's not fair! I'm doing a lot with my life, it just took a little while for me to get going.”

“
Right Cheyenne. I know.”

+

“One, two, three, chug!” Blake was holding up my third shot of the night. I was feeling looser than I had in months. My head was swimming with thoughts of success, of my new ranch, a great business plan, and the delicious man sitting on the barstool next to me. This was the first time I felt free since the cabin in the woods. But I felt open in a different way, careless, perhaps even a little reckless. Jade was also drinking, but she had downed a lot more than I had. I’d lost count after her sixth shot of the evening, and that was at least two beers ago. But she was chatting it up with some guy at the end of the bar I didn’t recognize. He looked a little sketchy with an unshaven face and dark features, but Jade liked a bad boy. She had ditched our group almost immediately when she realized they were old high school friends of mine. She and I met later in college. Jade and my friendship had been easy once we realized that we lived in the same town. But her parents had moved here when she started college, so she didn't know any of the townies.