Simply Shameless (17 page)

"He died, madame, along with his youth the day he got married." He headed for the door, desperate to get away from her before he said anything even more incriminating. "I'll be in the kitchen, if you need me."

Chapter Thirteen

Helene checked the time; it was past midnight and the salons were packed with her clients. Despite Philip's forbidding presence at her elbow all night, things had gone rather well. She'd taken the opportunity to flirt outrageously with every man who approached her, just to see Philip's scowl deepen.

When faced with the dubious delights of the third floor that morning, she'd thought he was going to run. But he'd managed to stand his ground. Although part of her was disappointed, her curiosity was stirred. Beneath that harsh exterior was a man who had suffered. Something deep inside her responded to that and wanted to help him. What had happened to make him fear loss of sexual control? What exactly had his marriage been like?

She blew a last lingering kiss to young Lord Blake and turned to Philip, who was scowling. "Are you ready to go?" She yawned behind her fan. "I believe I am quite fatigued."

He bowed and took her hand. "Then we shall take our leave." He walked toward the main doors and glanced down at her. "We are retiring together tonight?"

She smiled up at him. "Of course. I don't break my promises."

They arrived at her suite, and he shut the door behind him, his expression inscrutable.

Helene turned to face him, realizing she was slightly nervous but also excited.

"What do you wish of me, my lord?"

"I want you to undress."

"Of course, my lord." She kicked off her soft kid slippers and presented him with her back. "If you could unlace me?"

He obliged, his fingers steady and nimble as he undid both her bodice and her corset. She pushed them down over her hips and stepped out of her single petticoat.

"Sit down on the stool and take off your stockings."

She raised her eyebrows. "My shift as well?"

"Just your stockings."

She took her time rolling the delicate silk stocking down over her calf and placing it on her dressing table. Philip retreated to the door, arms folded, gaze fixed on her legs. She finished with the second stocking and put it with the first.

"And now, my lord? Would you like me to undress you?"

He shook his head and walked toward her. "No, thank you, madame. Now I wish you to sit on the side of the bed."

"Like this?"

Helene arranged herself on the edge of the high wide bed, her legs slightly parted, her hands braced on the cream satin sheets.

He came even closer. "Open your legs wider and pull up your shift. I want to see you."

She held his gaze, aware that he was trying to objectify her, make something pleasurable into something she should be ashamed of. He had no idea that she was enjoying herself immensely. It was a long time since any man had told her what to do.

"Like this?"

She slowly raised her shift and felt the cold air against her most tender flesh. Her nipples tightened as he continued to stare at her sex.

"Touch yourself."

"Where, my lord?"

He gestured between her legs. "You know where. I want to see you slide your fingers deep. Touch and rub your nub; make yourself come."

"And what will you be doing while I.. . amuse myself?"

"Watching."

She cupped her breasts, rubbed her thumbs over her already aching nipples. "Do you wish me to touch myself here as well, sir?"

"Yes."

She slid one hand down over her stomach and flicked her already swollen clit. Philip let out his breath, one hand clenched and unclenched at his side. She watched him as she continued her slow exploration, let him see her enjoyment, refused to let him cheapen the experience.

"Put your fingers inside."

He stepped closer as she penetrated herself with two interlocked fingers. She moaned as her cream eased her way, smelled her own desire, and heard the slick wetness of each subtle motion.

"Pinch your nipples, harder."

His voice had gone husky. His tight pantaloons were now tented, and his erection pushed at the thick satin.

She glanced up at him through her lashes. "Don't you want to help, my lord?"

"I want... I want you to come."

She increased the thrust of her fingers, used her thumb on her clit, and felt her climax build. She arched her back and drew her feet up onto the bed to give him the perfect view of her sex.

"I'm coming for you."

She closed her eyes and gasped as her pussy clenched around her fingers and heard his answering groan as she writhed against the pleasure. How long was it since she'd focused all her attention on herself rather than on some stupid man? When she opened her eyes, he was still standing in front of her.

"Do you wish me to suck your cock now?"

He shuddered and forced his gaze away from her. "I don't need anything from you."

"Are you sure, my lord?" She slowly withdrew her fingers from her pussy and brought them to her mouth, used the tip of her tongue to clean them. "Because I am more than willing to service you. It is part of our bargain, is it not?"

"I don't need you."

She climbed off the bed and came to stand in front of him. "Why are you denying yourself release? Do you think it makes you better than me?"

"A real man should be able to resist carnal temptation."

"A stupid man, maybe. What I offer you is part of our bargain. Why, after insisting you spend your nights with me, do you refuse what is yours to enjoy?"

He stared at her, his mouth set in a grim line.

Helene's sexual glow began to fade. "Perhaps I begin to understand you. Did you ask for those thirty nights simply to prevent me from having sex with anyone}"

"Perhaps I did."

She smiled at him as anger rapidly replaced desire. "Then you will be disappointed." She pointed at the bed. "I can pleasure myself quite adequately, as you just saw, and I feel no shame for it."

He flinched as she reached out and swatted the front of his pantaloons. "You are the one with the inconvenient erection. If I'm not good enough to touch your cock, go and amuse yourself in the pleasure house. I'm sure you'll find somebody there who will oblige you."

"I don't need anyone to touch me."

She turned on her heel and climbed into bed. "That's right. You have a hand, don't you?

Or is that too sinful as well? Self-abuse is frowned upon in many circles; I believe they even offer contraptions to stop men from attempting it."

"You'd probably know all about that, wouldn't you?" he sneered.

"Non, because here at the pleasure house, sex is seen as a natural and beautiful part of life—not something to be ashamed of or to fear. You are the one with the problem, not me." He-lene punched her pillow, took her book from the bedside drawer, and ignored Philip.

He cleared his throat. "I am going now."

"Bon."

"I will be back tomorrow."

"Don't bother."

She hunched her shoulder at him, refusing to meet his gaze. He was truly a stuffy man.

Why had she even considered he would be an interesting lover? He'd obviously allowed life to embitter him to such an extent he no longer had the capacity for sexual enjoyment.

She could do without sex for thirty days if it meant the end of Philip Ross's involvement in her business.

"I'm not giving up, Helene. I'll be here for the next twenty-nine days as promised."

She looked at him then. "You expect to spend the next month in the most extreme pleasure house in London without succumbing to your desires even once?"

"I'm ... not sure."

She waved a dismissal. "We'll see, won't we? Now run along. I have a book to read."

"Helene..."

"Haven't you gone yet?"

He remained by the door, one hand gripping the frame.

"You are still the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Good night."

He shut the door quietly, and Helene stared at the cream paneling. How dare he compliment her like that! It made disliking him so much harder. What would he do now?

Would he run home or finally face his demons?

Behind him, the door vibrated as if Helene had thrown something at it. Philip tried to smile. At least she'd waited until he shut the door. He retraced his steps to the main servant stairway and found himself unable to go on. Here he was again in the same situation as last night, desperate for release. And this time he had only himself to blame.

He stared into the darkness of the stairwell. Watching Helene climax had been unbearable. He'd meant to humiliate her by keeping his distance, but he'd failed. Her joy in her own sexuality simply made him feel like an empty, useless vessel. God, he'd wanted to rip open his pantaloons and shove his cock deep inside her, make her climax again and again until she screamed out his name.

He cupped his balls and groaned at the heavy weight. Helene was right. If he stood any chance of overcoming his past and taking control of his sexual future, he needed the pleasure house. He needed a place where he could recapture the joy of sex, which had been so depleted by his marriage.

With a sigh, he closed his eyes and allowed his past to overwhelm him. Images of India, his voyage home, and his meeting with Helene flooded his mind. What had his most erotic desire been then? What had he craved that was utterly forbidden? He remembered the servant on the ship, the man's mouth closing around his cock.

He became aware of the hardness of the wall at his back, the happy shrieks and murmurs of Helene's clients even through the heavy doors. He knew where he needed to go and what he needed to do.

A minute later, the door on the second level marked ALL YOU DESIRE was in front of him. With shaking hands, Philip pushed it open and found himself in a small, completely dark space. He couldn't even see his own hand, so he stayed near the door.

"What is your desire?"

The voice was so quiet, Philip barely heard it. He swallowed hard. Could he go through with this ? Could he salvage something from his past to help rediscover himself?

"I want a man ... a man to suck my cock."

His words sounded so loud and shocking in the small space that he almost wished he could take them back.

"Of course, sir. We can accommodate your desire within the next ten minutes. Please move to the room on your left."

Uncertainly, Philip stretched out his left hand, felt a door-jamb, and moved toward it. The second space felt larger than the first, although he still couldn't see more than a foot around him. The wait seemed interminable, his raised heartbeat mirrored by the urgent throb of his cock. Every tense second brought him closer to fleeing, to reneging on his bet and trying to make a life with his children far away from London and the delights of Helene Delornay. But could he run from himself? He'd tried that before and it hadn't worked.

A faint outline of white, the click of a door latch, and the plunge back into darkness snapped his attention back to the present. He jumped when calloused fingers brushed his thigh and started on the buttons of his pantaloons. He fisted his hands at his sides as his cock quivered and gushed precum, soaking his underthings as the man slowly exposed his cock.

"God ..." His hips jerked forward as his shaft was drawn into a warm, wet mouth. He forgot to think as the man started sucking, shoved his hand in the man's thick hair to hold him

just where he wanted him. Within twenty desperate strokes, he was coming hard, fucking the man's mouth with all his strength, shoving his cock as deep as he could as spasm after spasm of seed shot out of him.

"God... I'm sorry."

He tried to pull back but felt the man's teeth close gently around the base of his now-flaccid shaft and went still. Smaller sucks now, a tongue curling over the crown of his cock, probing the slit, rimming the head, dipping down to suck his balls and caress the sensitive skin between his arse and his shaft.

His cock grew and filled the other man's mouth again. Only then did the man release him.

He kissed the crown and lapped at the gathering fluid.

"You may call me Adam. May I use my hands on you as well?"

The voice was cultured, that of a gentleman, not the servant Philip had unconsciously expected. He might have met this man socially, might meet him yet and never know him.

Unaccountably, his cock swelled even more at the thought.

"Yes."

Adam kissed Philip's cock again, swirling it around in his mouth as he cupped Philip's balls.

"Ah ... that's ..."

Philip closed his eyes as bliss shuddered through him. Adam's mouth was strong, almost rough, his hands and long fingers caressed Philip's buttocks and thighs, inviting him to drive his cock deeper into Adam's mouth.

Philip tried to stop thrusting. "I don't want to hurt you."

Adam's answer was to take him deeper, suck him harder, dig his fingers into Philip's buttocks and force him to pump as fast as he could. His second climax went on and on, his whole body convulsing in delight as he spent himself in this unknown man's mouth.

"Thank you."

Adam released his cock and gave him one last kiss. "The pleasure was all mine."

Philip cleared his throat. "What about your needs?"

"This room is for secret desires, yes? You like to have a man's mouth on you. I like to take a man in my mouth. We are even."

Adam tucked Philip's cock back into his underthings and buttoned up his pantaloons. "If you wish to see me here again, I would be more than willing to serve you. Just ask for me by name."

Philip had no opportunity to reply as Adam backed out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Philip took a deep breath. His legs were still shaking, his whole body soothed by the outpouring of his seed, the sense that he had spent far more than that. He felt more at peace with himself than he had for years, even though in most people's eyes he had allowed an immoral act. But Helene and all the clients of the pleasure house would not condemn him. They would understand his need to rediscover himself.

He turned back to the door and felt his way back into the main hall, almost collided with a couple kissing against the servant's door. The woman's leg was wrapped high around the man's thigh. Philip edged past and took the hallway back to the main salon and then down to the silent warm kitchen to collect his hat and gloves.