Since He Really Feels (He Feels) (27 page)

I loved that he was finally opening up. Telling me about his family secrets while there was nothing between us, not even the barrier of clothes, made the confession even more intimate and sincere.

So I didn’t want to put clothes back on; I didn’t want anything between us. I wanted him to cradle me in his arms while he told me everything that he’d been holding back. But the look in his eyes set my nerves on edge. He was about to confess something serious about the company we both worked for, and that was scaring the hell out of me.

I broke from our embrace and found sweats in my overnight bag. We went out onto our balcony together, and we stared out into the darkness lit
only by the pale moonlight. We each took a seat on a patio chair, and Nick scooted closer to me and linked his fingers through mine. It was strange to have this conversation in the dark, in a place where I couldn’t look into his eyes to see what he was thinking or feeling as he spoke, and that was the thought that stuck with me and sent a ripple of fear through me that ultimately clutched icily at my heart.

We sat in silence for a moment, and then I heard him take in a deep breath. He exhaled slowly, and then he spoke.

“BKG is filing bankruptcy next week.”

His voice was calm, and my reaction was anything but.

“What?” I screeched into the quiet, dark night.

His hand tightened on mine. “BKG is going under. I’ve been hearing rumors for the past two weeks, but I didn’t want to scare you. I confronted Brennan about it, and he confirmed that the company is struggling.”

“So what does that mean?”

“Basically they’re doing it so that another company can’t come in and buy off the parts. It’s protection more than anything else.”

“Are our jobs safe?” For about the millionth time, I wished I’d never left McMillan.

“I don’t know for sure, but it’s not looking good.”

He dragged me from McMillan with promises of a great new job that I actually kind of hated, and now he didn’t even know if I was still going to have a job? I knew it was irrational to blame him, but I fully blamed him anyway. “What the fuck, Nick?”

He let go of my hand and leaned forward with his elbow on his knees, clasping his hands together in front of him.

“I’m sorry, baby. I don’t know what else to say.”

We were both going to lose our jobs. On the one hand, I knew he had his trust fund. We’d be okay financially, at least for awhile.
But what about the fact that I would be jobless?

Even in my anger, I could tell that there was more. He was holding something else back from me, and I wanted to know what it was. I needed to know. “What else are you hiding?” I asked.

He glanced over at me, and I couldn’t help but notice how handsome he looked. It was really just his silhouette in the night, but somehow even when I was fearful that I was losing my job, just seeing him sitting next to me made everything okay.

“I got an offer to start up my own company. I’ve been trying to figure out what the smartest decision would be, and I finally realized that I can’t make that decision alone. I need you, Julianne. I need you to help me figure out what to do.”

Despite the catastrophic news he’d just delivered, he needed me as much as I needed him. Even though he’d waited, he had still come to me.

“How do you get an offer to start your own company? Isn’t that something you just do?” I asked.

“Do you remember that meeting I went to on Wednesday?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said, nodding.

“The man I met with told me that he wants me to rebrand his company. It’s a big company with a lot of different divisions, and he wants me to eventually take over his marketing if everything goes well with the rebranding. He said my ideas are fresh and he wants me personally, but he doesn’t want BKG involved. He wants to hire me as a private consultant.”

“Holy shit, Nick!
That’s huge!” I knew he dreamed of owning his own company someday. I knew how thrilled he had to be at this news. And in my excitement, a selfish thought reared its ugly head: Why hadn’t he told me this sooner?

He nodded. “I know. It’s a fucking whale, Julianne. It would easily launch my own company.”

“So what’s stopping you?”

“Before the news about BKG going under was confirmed, BKG was sort of stopping me. I just started there; I just brought you over. I can’t just leave. But the bankruptcy thing clears
up that obstacle.”

“Are you going to do it?”

“There’s a little more to it. For one, I want to bring you with me.”

“I’m in, Nick. Say no more. I would love to
continue working with you.”

“I want to start this company together.
Co-owners. Partners in life forever, both in marriage and in business.”

“I would love that,” I said.

“This whole idea was contingent on you anyway,” he added.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean the person who spoke with me said he wants you and me to work together on the rebranding.”

“Who asked for me?”

He paused, and I could tell he was thinking about whether or not to tell me. And, finally, he did. “Jack Miller.”

I sucked in a sharp breath. Jack Miller had personally requested me? Travis’s dad had been like a second father to me since I was a child, but I also knew that he
was aware of what I had done to his son. I’d broken his heart, and that wasn’t okay. So I had to wonder why he was doing this and why he wanted to help Nick and me.

“Why would Jack Miller want me?” I asked.

“He said you know the company well.”

“So it’s the Millers. Is that why it’s been hard for you to make a decision?” I deduced.

He shook his head. “There’s more to it.”

What the hell else could there be?

“I know your families are close, but you have to promise me that this stays between us,” he said, his voice suddenly serious.

I leaned over and took his hand in mine. “I promise.”

He squeezed my hand and then leaned back in his chair. He took a deep breath. “Jack said you know the company well, but you also know the man who Jack will be promoting to his position when he retires before the end of the year.”

“Travis,” I whispered, gazing out into the darkness.

“Hence my dilemma. Take the chance of a lifetime to start my own company with guaranteed success, but throw my fiancée directly at her temptation? Or stick it out with BKG and hope for the best? I just don’t fucking know what to do, Julianne, and I need you to help me make that decision.”

A million thoughts ran through my head, but the one thought that stuck was Nick calling Travis my “temptation.” Perhaps he had been that for me at one point, but Nick had to know that Travis no longer was a threat to us. I was still completely at a loss as to how to get him to understand that, though.

We didn’t solve any of the world’s problems that night. In fact, we went to bed. I was exhausted after my night at the bar followed by hot sex with Nick, and I didn’t know what to tell him. So I chickened out. “Can I sleep on it?” I had asked, knowing it was the coward’s way out but not knowing how else to respond.

I could tell he was disappointed that I had cut off our conversation at the pass, but I didn’t know what to do. He was absolutely right; this was going to be a tough decision. I was a professional and I loved the idea of starting a business with Nick, but throwing Travis and me together after everything that had happened just
didn’t seem like the best idea, particularly in the spirit of me taking into account others’ feelings.

My heart told me that was why Jack had done it. First and foremost, he was a great father, and he wanted his children to be happy. He knew that Travis needed my friendship just as much as I needed his, and maybe Jack knew something that we couldn’t see because we were too close to the situation and we couldn’t see the forest for the trees. Now that Travis was happy with Lindsay and I was engaged to marry another man, maybe Jack had the right idea in allowing us to sort out our personal lives by forcing us together in our business lives. Something deep inside was thrilled at the chance to work with Travis. We’d never crossed paths in our careers, but I knew that he was excellent at what he did. I loved the Miller family, and the chance to work closely with the business that Jack had built was an exciting prospect.
But I had Nick to consider.

I was filled with questions. Would Nick be able to handle seeing Travis and me together on a daily basis? Or would he live in a constant state of suspicion and jealousy? Did Travis even know this was happening?

And how did Lindsay figure into all of it?

I had done a good job avoiding thinking about her and her feelings. But if she and Travis were serious, would she be able to handle Travis working alongside me?

I slept on it, but I didn’t have any answers the next morning. If anything, more questions had formed in my head overnight.

Nick woke me in the very best way. I felt his tongue tracing the shell of my ear, and then I felt the rough stubble on his chin as his tongue trailed down from my ear to my neck and down to my chest. He lavished my breasts with attention, sucking softly on one nipple while he rolled my other one between his fingertips. I moaned into his touch, loving the feel of him against me and never wanting it to stop.

As my eyes fluttered open, the first sight of my day was Nick hovering over me. His hazel eyes glowed in the morning light. Everything about this view was perfection, from those sleepy eyes to his beautifully messy hair to his rough and sexy stubble. Poised over me, I could see the flexed muscles in his perfectly chiseled abdomen, and I traced his muscles with my fingertips, ultimately landing on that ridiculously sexy cut of hipbone that stood out just above the waistline of his shorts. He groaned, and then he pressed his hips down against me and I could feel how ready he was for me. He thrust his hips against me once more, and it was enough to wake the slutty beast inside of me. All I could think about was the fact that there were too many clothes separating our bodies.

He nuzzled between my breasts, and I arched up into his magical touch. I gazed at him, running my fingers through his hair. I remembered how I’d imagined what that would feel like for a year before we had gotten together, and the silky strands against my fingertips felt even better than I had imagined. I loved him with everything inside of me, and waking up next to him after the honest night we’d shared together only strengthened my love for him, only made me all the more confident that we were destined to end up happily married for the rest of our lives together.

His mouth found mine, hot and hard, and he continued those magical thrusts that were starting to cause an aching pain south of my belly. I wanted him inside of me, and I wasn’t below begging.

He kissed his way down my body, from my breasts down my sternum to my belly. His tongue dipped into my belly button, and then he continued his journey southward. His stubble whispered against my skin as he moved, sending desire coursing through my veins. He moved down, lifting my legs up so my feet were flat on the bed and my knees were bent. He pushed my legs apart and crawled between them, and then he kissed the inside of my thigh softly. He pushed one finger inside of me, and then he gazed up at me. I looked down at him through heavily lidded eyes as I moaned at his entry, and then he pulled his finger out. His eyes were locked on mine when his tongue ran the length of the finger that had just been inside of me, and that one erotic moment nearly sent me over the edge.

My body began to throb with need for him, and just when I was about to beg him to get inside of me, he started kissing his way back up my body. He stopped only long enough to remove his shorts, and then he crawled back up the bed. Usually before he thrust into me, he hovered over me for a moment, but today, he wanted it as much as I did. He plunged powerfully into me, and he felt so good that I literally screamed out in pleasure. I braced myself for the onslaught of his passion, and he delivered mind-blowing thrusts that edged me quickly toward my climax.

As we basked in the afterglow of yet another incredible orgasm together, I couldn’t help but think that even though I’d never felt closer to Nick after he finally confided in me the night before, we still had a lot of issues to work through and one huge problem that had only one foreseeable solution.

CHAPTER 28

NICK MATTHEWS

I knew sex wasn’t going to solve the issue at hand, but it was definitely going a long way to help me forget my problems. Something about the sweet taste of Julianne Becker just did that to me. But once we crawled out from under the covers and were sitting on the patio enjoying coffee in
our luxurious hotel bathrobes, I knew we couldn’t put it off any longer.

“Have you thought any more about our talk last night?” I hedged cautiously.

Her beautiful blue eyes met mine. Something about Julianne in the morning was a sight to behold. Her hair was big and messy from sleeping, and her skin was perfect and glowing in the sunlight after our morning activities.