Single, Available, and Completely Attached (28 page)

As soon as she’d heard Drew’s voice, she demanded Alice turn it off—but, of course, she’d only turned it up.

She had missed the beginning, but she’d heard enough.
 

It had taken everything she had not to pick up the phone and call him then.

Alice had stood there for several minutes, staring at her sister expectantly.
 
But Anna had only laid back down, asking her sister to turn it off and let her go back to sleep.

She hadn’t left her room since then, and now, several hours later, Alice was back again.
 
“Just get up, Anna Marie.
 
You know you want to go—so why are you playing games?”

“I’m not playing games.
 
What does it even matter to you, Alice?
 
I thought you didn’t believe in the whole monogamy thing either.”
 

“I don’t.
 
But you’re a mess, sissy.”
 
Alice crossed the room and sat down on Anna’s bed, reaching out and taking the sketchpad from her.
 
Anna bit her lip as tears flooded her eyes.
 
“Why aren’t you going?”

“Because I can’t.”
 
Anna shrugged her shoulders, as if it was just that simple.
 

Because, for her, it was.
 

“Why?”

“I can’t be that girl for him, Alice.
 
I can’t be the girl who destroys a friendship.”
 
Anna shook her head.
 
“This whole time, I was so selfish.
 
I never once stopped to think about the position I was putting Drew in.”

“With Jeff, you mean?”
 
Anna nodded.
 
“I think that’s a sacrifice Drew’s willing to make, from the sounds of it.”

“And that’s not something I’m willing to let him do.”
 
Anna sighed, wiping at the tears on her cheeks.
 
“I told myself that it didn’t matter—Jeff was out of my life, and what I did was
my
business.
 
I was so blinded by whatever we had, I didn’t even consider…”
 
Anna let the sentence go, waiting for Alice to say
I told you so
.
 

But she didn’t.
 
Instead, she studied her sister’s face for several moments before finally speaking.

“Do you love him?”
 
Alice asked.

“It doesn’t matter.”
 
Anna shook her head.
 
“Jeff is the only person Drew’s opened up to, Alice.
 
I’m not going to compromise that any more than I already have.”

“So, what you’re saying is—you’re not going to Yoko them apart.”
 

Anna couldn’t help but laugh at the Beatles reference, tears still in her eyes.

“Yes, Allie.
 
That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“And you’re just going to walk away?”
 
Anna nodded, her voice ripped away by the clenching within her chest.
 
The thought of letting Drew go tore her apart, but she knew, deep down, that it was the right decision for the both of them.

How could she ask Drew to turn his back on his best friend?
 
And for what—the possibility that things might work with them?

As well as she knew Drew, she couldn’t help but doubt his ability to commit.
 
For all she knew, once he realized that Anna was within his grasp, he would realize that he had been chasing after a romanticized memory—and that, in reality, a relationship took effort.

She didn’t doubt that he was capable, but rather that he would get bored with the tedium and…then what?

He would have lost his friend for nothing.

“Oh, Annie.”
 
Alice wrapped her arm around Anna’s shoulders.
 
“Will you be okay by yourself for awhile?”

“I’m a big girl, Allie.
 
You go on.
 
Go have fun.”

“Okay.
 
There’s a pint of Ben and Jerry’s in the freezer.
 
You’re welcome to it, if you’d like.”
 

“That’s probably the most enticing offer I’ve gotten in awhile.”
 
Anna replied, sniffing quietly.
 
Alice smiled as she jumped from the bed.
 

“I’ll see you later, okay?”
 
Anna waved at her little sister, and a few seconds later, she heard the shower turn on.
 

She waited until she heard Alice’s car start before she forced herself out of bed.
 
She knew she was a mess, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.
 
Instead, she walked down the stairs and headed toward the kitchen.
 
She was on her way back up to her room, ice cream in hand, when she heard a knock on the door.

Her heart was pumping wildly in her chest as she froze, terrified it might be Drew.

“Anna Marie, I know you’re in there.”
 

Anna almost threw the ice cream to the floor as she dashed toward the door, throwing it open.
 
Tears flooded her eyes once more and Nana stepped through the door, taking her granddaughter’s face into her hands.

“I thought you could use some company.”
 

And Anna did drop the ice cream then, wrapping her arms around her Nana’s neck.

This was exactly what she needed.

~*~

Drew glanced at his phone, dreading it.
 
He knew what he would see once he pushed that button to illuminate the screen.

No new messages.
 
No missed calls.

And hours had passed.

With
a heaviness
in his chest he’d never experienced before, he waved the waitress over for the bill.
 
He tried very hard to ignore the pity in her eyes as she took his card.
 
When she returned, he scribbled on the receipt and headed for the door.

“Drew!”
 
A voice called out to him and he turned, his hopes rising and falling within seconds.
 

It was a pretty blonde, yes.
 
She was taller and thinner than her sister, with purple highlights in her hair.
 

“She’s not coming, is she?”
 
It was all Drew could muster.
 
Alice shook her head slowly, and he could see that it saddened her.
 
“Well, it was worth a shot.”

“She cares about you a lot, you know.”

“Not enough, I guess.”

“No.
 
Too much, I think.”
 
Alice frowned.
 
“Why did you get involved, Drew?
 
If you knew from the beginning that you were going to get hurt.”

Drew shrugged, most definitely not wanting to have this conversation.

“Because—when I kissed her the first time, I knew in that moment that I never wanted to kiss anyone else.
 
Nobody else could ever compare.”
 
He told her the truth, looking down at the pavement beneath him as the memory washed over him.
 

Truth or not, though, it didn’t matter.
 

He’d lost her.

“And now?”
 
Alice pressed, and Drew looked up, running a hand through his already disheveled hair.

“And now, I’m going to go home, Alice.”
 
The sorrow he felt was overwhelming him—the sense of loss, of regret…it was just too much to bear.
 
“Tell her I’m sorry, okay?”

With that, he turned around and headed back to his car.
 
He sat down behind the wheel and pulled his phone out, opening up a new message.

She didn’t show.

Jeff:
 
I’m sorry, man.
 
Need anything?

I’ll be fine.

He’d lost Anna before.
 
No matter how impossible it seemed now, he knew he could get over it again.

Anna wore a simple black dress.
 
Her hair was low and wispy, and she held a wine glass in her hand.
 
Her sister was across the room, dressed boldly in red,
chatting
it up with a guy with a tattoo on his neck.
 
Nana was behind her, discussing one of her more recent sculptures with a woman younger than Anna.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of Chandler Duvet.
 
Nana had been right—he’d aged very well, even Anna had to admit.
 
He smiled and waved, heading in her direction.
 
Anna felt her cheeks redden and she turned away, wishing she could find someone in the room to focus her attention on.

“Anna
Maloy
, it’s as if I’m seeing a living memory right in front of me.
 
You haven’t aged a day.”
 
He leaned forward and touched his lips to her cheek.

“Oh, we both know that’s a lie.”

“The only difference I notice is that you are impossibly more beautiful now than you were ten years ago.”
 
Anna laughed then, shaking her head.
 
“I was sad to have missed you in Italy this summer.”

“It would have been nice to catch up,
”
 
she
replied.
 

Anna had finally taken Nana up on her invitation a few months ago.
 
The three of them—Alice, too—had taken a month off and spent their days crushing grapes and drinking wine, creating art…and healing, mostly, for Anna.
 
Nana and Alice, of course, had gone through a score of lovers between the two of them.

She had never been able to muster even the vaguest sense of the passion she’d experienced with Drew, despite her best efforts.

“It looks as though you were plenty busy, though.
 
I’m not sure we would have had time for catching up.”
 
He gestured toward the back of the gallery.
 
“You’ve developed quite a talent, Miss
Maloy
.
 
Although I can’t say I’m surprised by that.”
 
Anna dipped her head, feeling the blush coloring her cheeks at the compliment.
 

While in Italy, one of Nana’s friends had invited the three of them to participate in the group show he was putting together for his gallery in Chicago.
 
Tonight was the opening, and it seemed as if every other face in the crowd was one who Anna recognized from her summers at Nana’s cottage.
 

“Thank you,
”
 
she
told Chandler.
 
“I hear you’ve done well.”

“Oh, barely more than a starving artist, I’m afraid.”
 
His tone was one of faux modesty.

“Why don’t I believe that?”
 

“I never could fool you, could I?”
 
Chandler touched her shoulder, and Anna tried to remember the time when she had felt nothing but affection for this man.

Instead, though, she could only conjure images of one dark, disheveled mop of hair, a cocky grin, clear blue eyes…

It was still painful, she admitted.
 

She would think of him at the most random of moments, and her heart would stop, and she would feel the pain tearing through her.

But it was easier, now.
 
Those moments were far and few between, and she just had to remind herself that their relationship had come with an expiration date.
 
They had simply played their cards wrong—rather than discouraging intimacy, they had thrived on it.
 

Eventually, the flame would have fizzled out…and everything would have ended much worse than it did.

She turned her head and saw one of her submissions.
 
He was
laying
in bed, the sheets tangled around him.
 
There was
a certain
vulnerability about him as he slept, and even now, she felt that familiar surge of affection beneath her breast.

Anna was fairly certain she would never feel the way she did about Drew again.
 
They had fit together, the two of them.
 
They’d had a harmony between them she knew she would never find with another.

If she was completely honest with herself,
which
she had tried to encourage these days, she was pretty sure she’d known it from the first moment he’d kissed her.
 

~*~

Drew groaned as his best friend entered the room.
 
“Seriously, Jeff?
 
Who even
wears
khakis anymore?”
 

“Adults.”
 
Drew rolled his eyes.
 

“Come on, could you please go put on a pair of jeans?
 
I’m almost embarrassed to be seen with you in public.”

“We’re going to dinner, Drew.
 
You’re not supposed to wear jeans—”

“
Everybody
wears jeans, Jeff.”
 
Drew threw his hands in the air, giving up.
 
If Jeff wanted to dress like an eighty year old man, who was he to stop him?
 
“Come on.
 
We’re going to miss our reservation.”

“Look at you, talking about reservations.
 
You really have matured, haven’t you?”
 
Jeff teased.

“What can I say?
 
I have officially joined the world of adults.
 
I’ve got a dog.
 
And I’m looking at real estate options.”
 
As soon as he said the words, her face danced into view.
 
Hadn’t Anna been the one to welcome him?

Hadn’t she been the reason he’d stayed?
 

“She’s pretty adorable, too.”
 
Jeff spoke, and Drew had to think for a moment to figure out what his friend was referring to.
 
“Let me see that face again.”

Drew held up his phone.
 
She
was a golden retriever—and her name was Bella.
 
He’d found her at an adoption event the station was sponsoring and he’d known the moment her saw her name that they were a match.

“Isn’t it sad that the highlight of my night is going home and finding her waiting there for me, all excited and energetic?”
 
Drew sighed.
 
“I miss the nights I used to avoid going home.
 
Those
were some good times.”
 

They both knew, though, that Drew didn’t miss them at all.
 
Since Anna, he’d been out on a few dates—but he’d left behind his days of random hookups and one night stands.
 

“Come on, we can just walk.
 
It’s not that far.”
 
Jeff told him, nudging him with his arm.
 
Drew nodded, pulling his jacket tighter around him.
 
Winter was quickly approaching, and the chill was evident in the air.
 
“So, real estate?”

“I don’t know.
 
I was thinking something with a yard.”
 
Drew shrugged.
 
He liked the thought of Bella being able to run around outside.
 
Sometimes, he liked to imagine little kids chasing her around—little towheaded girls, with green eyes.
 

“So you’re committing to Columbus?”

“What, you trying to convince me to move a little closer your way?”
 
Drew asked and Jeff laughed a little.

“You have to admit, Chicago has a lot more to offer than Columbus.”

“Eh, maybe so.”
 
Drew looked around him, taking in the sites.
 
Wouldn’t it be nice to just turn around and leave it all behind him?
 
He could start fresh—wipe the slate clean, and leave it all in the past.

But at the same time, the thought of leaving those memories behind was almost as painful as losing Anna.
 

“
It’s
home, though.”
 
Drew finally said.
 
They stopped at a corner, waiting for traffic to let up.
 
“I don’t have much, but what I do have…it’s there.”
 
He thought to his childhood, too.
 
He liked being able to drive by the apartment he’d grown up in with his mom, or the townhouse he’d often shared with Jeff their last couple years of school.

He raised his eyes to the street before him.
 
It was lined with fancy restaurants and art galleries and bridal shops.
 

It just wasn’t the same.

~*~

Chandler handed her a new wine glass, placing her empty one on the tray of a passing waiter.
 
She smiled her thanks at him, letting him continue on about his property in France and his own exhibition in New York.

She knew he was trying to impress her, and so she went along with the conversation, but her attention was elsewhere.
 
She wasn’t an artist—not really.
 
She was the Director of Affairs for the
Innman
Community Center—and she had a pile of paperwork waiting in her hotel room to prove it.
 
The closest she would come to being an artist was the time she spent in the freshly built studio they’d just added on to the center, encouraging the kids to find something they loved doing and to pursue it.

Much like she’d done.

She loved the arts—but she loved those kids more.
 

Besides, she was pretty sure the only reason she’d been able to produce anything worthwhile was because of a certain someone.
 
She hadn’t seen beauty in her art until she’d experienced everything Drew had offered her—the friendship, the sensuality, the passion…

In an attempt to distract herself, Anna shifted her gaze.
 
She found Alice, who had progressed to touching the tattooed guy.
 
Nana was surrounded by several younger faces, and Anna could only imagine the stories she was telling them.

Anna took a sip from her glass and shifted her gaze back to Chandler’s for a moment.
 
A breeze of cool air swept through the room, but she barely paid any attention.
 
People had been coming and going all night.
 

It was the familiar tugging within her chest that caught her attention.
 

Slowly, she turned her head, sweeping the crowd.

The moment her green eyes met his blue, she felt a sob catch in her throat.
 
Her chest suddenly ached at the sight of him—a dull anguish mixed with a sense of disbelief.

Of all the places…

Her eyes filled with tears and she looked away, dabbing at her eyes before she looked back.

It was really him.
 
He was here, standing not even fifteen feet away.

From across the room, Drew grinned at her.
 
She felt a smile on her lips even as the tears rolled freely down her cheeks.
 

Behind him, Jeff waved.
 

And before she could stop herself, she was walking toward Drew, weeping softly as he met her halfway.

She wasn’t sure who kissed who—she only knew that they were together, and it felt
right
.
 

Nana’s words
came
flying at her.
 

“Love isn’t about who is best for you, sweet Anna Marie. It isn’t about what makes the most sense.
 
Love is about passion.
 
It’s about hunger and desire.
 
It is all-consuming, but it isn’t destructive.
 
And when it’s right, it’s the most beautiful thing in the world.
 
Because you just
know
.”

Finally, she pulled away from him and he held her face in his hands, his thumbs brushing the tears from her cheeks.
 
“That was quite a greeting,
”
 
he
whispered.

“I warned you what happens when you grin at me, Drew Whitman.”

“Well, I don’t know if I’ve warned you about what happens when you kiss me, but…”
 
He leaned in and touched his lips very gently to her cheek.
 
“You bring me to life, Annabelle.”

“Hey, you two—get a room!”
 
Alice called and Anna looked away, finding her sister in the crowd.
 
They’d drawn quite a bit of attention.
 
Alice laughed happily, and Anna turned to find Nana clapping softly to herself.

There was a smile on Anna’s face she wasn’t sure she’d ever experienced, her eyes still shimmering with tears.

Nana’s words made perfect sense.
 

“Mr. Whitman, would you like to walk me back to my hotel room?
 
Assuming your date doesn’t mind, I mean.”
 
Anna glanced over Drew’s shoulder, where Jeff stood smiling warmly in their direction.
 

“He doesn’t mind.”
 
She felt a wave of relief wash through her—the weight of everything lifting from her shoulders.
 
A stupid grin made
it’s
way onto her lips and she dabbed at her cheeks, certain her mascara had run.
 
She linked her arm through his, stopping to grab her coat, before the two of them stepped out into the cool night air.

“What are you doing here, Drew?
 
Did you know I would be here?”

“It was fate, Annabelle.
 
We were walking by, heading to dinner.
 
And I looked through the window…and there you were.
 
I spent all of this time trying to convince myself that I was over it—”