Single Wide Female: The Bucket List Mega Bundle - 24 Books (Books #1-24) (22 page)

Stephanie was gawking at him with disbelief. I lowered my eyes as I realized breakfast was about to get a lot more awkward.

“I’ll have a coffee to go,” Stephanie said with narrowed eyes.

“What?” Max asked.

“Why don’t I just come back?” the waitress said, obviously sensing the weird dynamic.

“What’s the problem?” Max asked Stephanie.

“Max, it’s not really polite to order for me, when Stephanie is here,” I attempted to explain.

“Or that he seems to have a pet name for you and knows every detail of what you eat and drink,” Stephanie added. She shook her head. “I knew this was too good to be true. If there was something between you, you should have told me before I got in the middle of it.”

“Wait, Stephanie
—
you’ve got it all wrong,” I said. “Max and I have been best friends for fourteen years
—
we’ve just become a big part of each others’ lives.”

“Or like an old married couple,” Stephanie said and crossed her arms. “Look, Samantha, I love having you as a friend, but I don’t want this to get messy.”

“It won’t,” Max insisted. “You’re taking all of this too seriously. Sammy is always going to be part of my life, and I didn’t realize that I was offending you by ordering for her. It’s just a habit.”

“Okay, but all of these habits add up to something, don’t you think?” she asked as she met Max’s eyes. “Isn’t there some part of you that thinks there might be a reason for all of this intimacy?”

I held my breath as Stephanie and I both waited for Max to answer. I wasn’t even sure what I wanted Max to say. He looked over at me, almost as if he was waiting for me to speak. Once more I felt the glimmer of hope within me. Was he going to choose me, finally? His lips began to part and suddenly I knew that I had to speak first.

“Stephanie, don’t be silly,” I said with a laugh. “Max is like a brother to me. I’ve smelled his dirty socks and seen his hideous music collection. Trust me, you have nothing to worry about.” I smiled sweetly as I looked up at Max. “I think if in over ten years of being so important to each other we have never shown interest in crossing that line, that’s proof enough that there is nothing more than friendship between us.”

Max stared back at me, as if he might argue the point. I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to or not. But he turned to look at Stephanie and applied his charming smile.

“See?” he said. “Nothing to be concerned about.”

“I’m sorry. I guess I overreacted,” Stephanie said as she stared at the table shamefully.

“Don’t be sorry, Stephanie, it’s okay,” I assured her.

I realized that I was telling the truth. It really was okay. In that moment when I thought Max was finally going to ask me for more than friendship, I understood that it was too late. I was already on my new path. I was already allowing myself to blossom. Max was the old Samantha’s way of hiding from real relationships. Now, it was time to truly let him go.

When the waitress returned, Stephanie placed her order. I found myself relaxing as we shared breakfast and chatted. I noticed Max looking in my direction more than once, but I did not obsess over what it meant. When it was time to settle up, Max pulled out his wallet.

“Let me get this,” he said.

“Thanks,” I smiled.

“That’s what brothers are for, right?” he asked and locked eyes with me.

I could tell he wanted me to say something in particular, but I was not interested in saying anything more.

“Have a good day,” I called out to both of them as I left the cafe.

“Enjoy your adventure,” Max called back to me.

Chapter 6

I actually couldn’t wait to get to the meet-up group. I was excited to see what lists they had come up with. I felt like my presence there had inspired them to be a little more daring.

When I arrived at the group I found my three new friends sitting aimlessly in their folding chairs.

“Hi, guys,” I said. I was still riding my high of being officially free of Max’s hold over me.

“Hi,” Miles said glumly.

“Good to see you.” Lea sighed.

Pedro didn’t even bother to look up from his coffee.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, feeling slightly concerned.

“We didn’t do so great on our lists,” Pedro admitted.

“Nonsense, I’m sure you came up with something wonderful.” I sat down in the circle with them. “Let’s see the lists!”

“All I wrote down was mini-golf.” Miles frowned. “Well actually, glow-in-the-dark mini-golf. With all those monsters and black lights
—
it’s pretty unusual.”

“For an eight-year-old,” Pedro scoffed.

“Well, we can’t exactly do yours,” Miles shot back.

“I don’t think mine are that bad,” Pedro said. He handed me the list.

I opened it up and read off a few of the items.

“Steal a car,” I smiled a little. “Well, that’s bold. Let’s see
—
rob a store, huh?” I looked up at Pedro and raised an eyebrow. “I’m seeing a theme here.”

Pedro shrugged innocently.

“It gets worse,” Lea said with a sigh.

“How could it?” I asked and then read the next item on the list. “Steal a cop car,.” I laughed a little. “Okay, Pedro, you should just call this list how to get arrested or shot.”

“It would be an adventure, wouldn’t it?” He grinned. I shook my head and handed him back the list.

“Really, getting arrested only looks cool on reality shows and in action movies. In real life, you get strip searched and people watch you while you pee.”

“Oh no, I can’t perform with an audience.” Lea shook her head quickly. “Once I was in this bathroom with about thirty other people and I couldn’t go because everyone was talking
—
”

“Okay,” I said quickly. “Well, good thing we’re not doing anything on Pedro’s list then.” I laughed.

“But we have to do something,” Miles said.

“Sure we do,” I said. “But it should be something fun
—
maybe a little dangerous, but not something we’re going to regret for the rest of our lives.”

“What we need to do is something daring,” Lea said as she brushed back her hair. “We need to shake up this group a little bit.”

“Maybe we should do what Samantha is planning to do,” Pedro said as he looked over at me.

I stared back at him with shock. I hadn’t told anyone what I had actually planned to do, but I had made such a big deal about it that of course they were going to be curious.

“Uh, no, I don’t think that would be a good idea,” I said quickly. “It’s more of a private thing.”

“What is it?” Lea pressed. “You have to share with us, Samantha
—
don’t hold back.”

“I don’t know.” I hesitated again and looked between them. “It’s not something that I think you would be interested in.”

“That’s even better!” Lea insisted. “That’s what we need
—
something to shake us up!”

“Just tell us what it is,” Pedro said. “We’ll figure out if we’re up for it or not.”

I frowned as I stared at all of their eager faces. I was certain that they wouldn’t go for it, so what harm could there be in saying what it was?

“Alright.” I sighed and took a slight step back from the group. “But it’s really embarrassing.”

“Just tell us.” Pedro rolled his eyes impatiently.

“Okay, okay,” I finally said. “I have a list of things that I want to do. I’ve done some of them. But the next thing on this list is skinny-dipping,” I kept my eyes trained toward the floor as I could feel my cheeks burning with embarrassment.

“Oh—uh
—
” Miles stammered.

“Alright!” Pedro offered a sly grin.

“That certainly is daring,” Lea muttered. She looked a little puzzled. “So that’s completely nude then?” she asked.

“Yes, Lea.” Pedro wiggled his eyebrows. “In the buff!”

“See, I told you, it’s not really your cup of tea. I mean, it isn’t even my cup of tea. But it’s on the list.” I grimaced. “How do you guys feel about playing some pool?”

“I think it’s perfect,” Lea announced.

“I think it’s worth a shot,” Pedro said.

“We should do it tonight,” Miles piped up.

“What?” I asked as I felt things snowballing out of my control. “It wasn’t really meant to be a group activity. I was just going to jump in and jump out.”

“But it’s perfect!” Lea said with excitement. “It can symbolize a brand new start for our group. Just think about the kind of people we will attract if we can be this bold
—
this much fun!”

“I don’t know that it will really be fun,” I hesitated. “I mean, I don’t even know where we could do it without getting caught. It is illegal, after all.”

“We won’t get caught,” Pedro said with a wave of his hand. “Cops have more important things to do than catch a group of nobodies jumping into a pool.”

“Hey, watch that negative talk, Pedro,” Lea said sternly. “We’re not nobodies. We are everybodies.”

“If you say so.” He shrugged. “The point is, the cops aren’t going to care.”

“Oh, and I know the perfect place!” Miles said with enthusiasm. “There’s an old motel right behind my apartment complex. No one ever goes there. It would be perfect! We could swim all we want,” he said with a laugh.

“Are you serious?” I asked, my anxiety growing. “I didn’t mean that we should do this I just
—
”

“Please, just relax,” Pedro said in a soothing voice. “You’re around friends here, Samantha. Why not take a leap into the unknown with a few decent people instead of alone?”

“How does she know that we’re decent?” Lea said. “We have to honor Samantha’s fear. She’s only just met us.”

Chapter 7

Fear. There was that word. That was the word that I was trying to eliminate from my life, not bow down to. I wondered if I could really do this. Could I get naked in a pool with a bunch of near strangers? I took a long look at them. Yes, Pedro was older. I was fairly certain that Lea was on some type of drugs and Miles had a strange skin condition, but I realized I didn’t care about any of that.

They were people, whole and perfect as they were, and I didn’t have any problem with the idea of seeing them naked. However, I did have a little problem with the idea of anyone seeing me naked. It wouldn’t just be a brief moment
—
it would be a full swim, with frolicking.

“I don’t know.” I hesitated and lowered my eyes.

“Samantha, we can do this with you, if you let us,” Lea said. “We can all be brave together.”

I stared at her for a moment. Other people might have found Lea’s perpetual positivity to be a little off balance, but I understood where she was coming from. I had spent enough of my life trying to find a way to be happy, without ever realizing that all it took was for me to just let myself be happy.

“Okay,” I finally nodded. “But no group hugs,” I warned them, laughing.

“Of course not,” Miles said with an offended grimace. “Just how kinky do you think we are, Samantha?” He shook his head.

Pedro winked at me. I stared back at him with shock at first, but the truth was, he was rather handsome. I found myself smiling shyly in return.

“So it’s a plan?” Lea said. “We can all meet at Miles’ apartment. What time?”

“Tonight?” I asked, again hesitating.

“If we don’t do it now, we might not ever do it,” Miles pointed out.

“Yes, ripping the band-aid off and all.” Pedro nodded. “I think it’s a good idea.”

“Okay, let’s do it,” I said with a shrug. I was still thinking that I could just not show up.

“Let me write down Miles’ address for you,” Lea said. She scribbled it on a piece of paper. Then she handed it to me.

“Let’s meet around six,” Miles suggested. “It’ll still be light enough to have fun, but late enough that the people around should be busy with their evening activities.”

“Sounds good,” I nodded and tucked the paper into my pocket.

“I’m so excited!” Lea said and clapped her hands. “And the best part is, we don’t have to worry about what to wear.” She laughed out loud.

“Good point.” I grinned. “I’ll meet you guys there. I have some things to do first.”

“No flaking out on us,” Pedro warned gruffly. “You better show up.”

I raised an eyebrow and wondered for a moment if he had read my mind.

“I’ll be there,” I promised quietly before retreating from the room.

As I drove back to my apartment I wondered if I would keep that promise. I wasn’t so sure that I could. It was one thing to go skinny-dipping alone, but with company, I didn’t think I could do it.

As I sat alone in my apartment, I tried to convince myself. This wasn’t just going to be skinny-dipping. It was symbolic to me. It was an opportunity to shed the outer skin that had been created by my incessant, if not a little abusive, thoughts about myself. I wanted to come up out of that pool a brand new person.

That might have been super high expectations, but that was what I was hoping for. I could hide away in my apartment and wait for life to become interesting, or I could take a risk and do my best to make it interesting.

I opened up my blog and read over my previous submissions. I could see how I was becoming bolder with each item I checked off the list. If I skipped this one, I knew that I would lose that momentum.

I was going to do it. I got a little excited once I had actually made the decision. I only wished that I had someone that I could share it with. I thought about writing a revealing blog post about my intentions, but I thought that might be pushing things a little too far. Instead I made a quick post about the adventure I was anticipating. I talked about how to gain true freedom: sometimes you had to take big risks.

After I made the post, I noticed that there were a few more views on my blog as a whole. I smiled. It wasn’t as if I was a famous writer, but it was still fun to think that someone was enjoying what I’d written. I put away my computer and took a deep breath. It was time to head to Miles’ apartment. I thought once more about simply not going. But I knew that wouldn’t be fair to my new friends. They were counting on me to be their fearless leader.

“Some fearless leader,” I muttered as my heart raced. I grabbed my purse and keys before I could change my mind.