Siren's Garter: Issue One August 2016 (12 page)

Read Siren's Garter: Issue One August 2016 Online

Authors: Miriam F. Martin

Tags: #romance, #suspense, #comedy, #pulp, #humor, #spies, #menage, #urban, #wedding, #work place

BOOK: Siren's Garter: Issue One August 2016
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Umm, Elsie…”


Or push you off a cliff. Oh God!
Kevin!” Elsie snapped her hands away and hugged herself, crying and
rocking on her heels.

Kevin got off his knees. He grabbed
her by the shoulders, a bit too rough, but he didn’t care anymore.
He only cared about one thing.

He shook her. When she didn’t stop
crying, he dug his fingernails in her skin and shook her again like
a rag-doll. Elsie’s hair hung over her face, partially hiding her.
Kevin swept her hair aside, and held her head.


I put my life at risk every time
I go on a mission to steal corporate secrets on Wall Street. I’m
not dodging bullets or escaping bombs, but it’s a short life
nonetheless.”


I know,” said Elsie, sniffling.
“That’s why you deserve a nice, normal Suzy Homemaker
type.”


You’re wrong,” Kevin said,
jabbing a finger at her chest. “I’d get bored with a woman who
doesn’t own an axe and a shotgun.”


Really?”


Yes, really. We can get couples’
counseling. We can take quiet vacations. I don’t care. But I know I
want to spend the rest of my life with you, sweetheart.”

Elsie smiled, showing her pearly
white teeth, face radiating from forehead to neck. “I want to spend
my life with you, too.”

Kevin got down on one knee. He took
one of her hands in his.


Will you still marry me,
Elsie?”


I do. I love you!”

He stood up, and swept her in his
arms, kissing her. The moment was sweet and tender, and Kevin
wanted it to last forever.

Molly Biggins cleared her
throat.


Sweet of you two to figure out
your problems,” she said. “Do I need remind you of your other
problems?”

The blood drained from Kevin’s
upper body, leaving him numb despite the euphoria he was feeling.
His past was past, at least he won Elsie.

Elsie stepped in front of him,
putting herself between him and Biggins.


I know where Zack is staying,”
Elsie said. “If I lead you to him, will forgive Kevin’s
debt?”

Biggins chuckled. “Darling, I
appreciate what you’re doing. You’ll be a fine wife for this man.
But it’s not that simple.”

Kevin grabbed Elsie by the elbow.
“Sweetie, it’s okay. Not your problem.”

She tugged away her arm. “Molly.
You’re a dominate lady, right?”

A wicked, serpentine smile glowed
on Biggins’ face. “I’ve demonstrated this already.”

Gertrude groaned, but crossed her
arms and said nothing.

Elsie smirked. “I know Zack’s
personal weakness. Do you want to know?”

Biggins gasped, and clutched her
hands in front of her. “Well, perhaps.”


Forgive Kevin’s debt, and I’ll
give you Zack’s kryptonite.”


You push a hard bargain. Very
well. But know this, if you disappoint me, I will make both your
lives hard.”

Elsie grabbed Biggins by the waist
and leaned up to the tall blond woman. Biggins slouched down,
putting her ear to Elsie’s mouth. The serpentine smile grew
wider.

Biggins kissed Elsie on the
cheek.


Well, well,” said the Russian.
“Nikolai, we have a long night ahead of us.”

The big guy grunted, and shrugged
his shoulders.


Glad you like this,” said Elsie.
“I have a plan.”

 

Chapter
Fifteen

 

Elsie knocked on room 312. To her
right was Kevin—now dressed in a clean white dress shirt with the
sleeves rolled up and jeans—along with Mom and Brad, Kevin’s best
man. To her left was Molly, rubbing her hands like a praying
mantis, and Nikolai, who held a green carpetbag and a video camera
with a tripod.

She knocked again.


Zaa-ack,” she cooed. “It’s me,
Elsie. I’ve changed my mind. About us. Want to open up?”

She heard the bolt chain rattle on
the other side, and the door open. Zack was in a pair of
red-and-white striped boxer shorts and no shirt. He had a cute
patch of chest hair that must have been trimmed, because it seemed
to sweep down his stomach and pointed to his waist line.


Hey doll,” he said. “I knew you’d
come around.”


May I come in?” Elsie said,
tossing her hair to one side.


Into my waiting arms, honey.”
Zack held out his arms, and made a smooching noise with his
lips.


Good.” Elsie stepped into his
embrace, her hands on his shoulders. Zack brought her in, arms
around her waist. He massaged the small of her back.

Elsie leaned into Zack.

And squeezed his shoulder
blades.

And then kneed him in the
junk.

Hard.

Elsie’s knee and thigh hurt, but in
a satisfying way that made her smile.

Zack hunched over, groaning in
falsetto with both hands cupped over the family jewels. She
snatched him by the ear and dragged him deeper into his
room.

He had a nice, cozy room with a
king sized bed, a minibar with a fridge, and a widescreen TV that
was currently playing a lesbian porno on mute.

Elsie wrangled him onto the bed.
“Okay guys,” she said. “Get in here!”

Kevin, Brad, Mom, Molly Biggins,
and Nikolai crowded in. The place seemed awfully crowded suddenly.
Kevin slammed the door shut, and clicked the chain in place. Molly
yanked the window curtains closed.


What the fuck?” Zack said. “Els,
baby, if you wanted a gangbang, I could hook you up. Leave these
creeps home next time!”


Oh no, Zacky-poo,” said Elsie.
“It’s time to get even.”


What do you mean, baby? I’ve
always treated you with respect.”

Nikolai tossed the carpetbag on the
bed, and pulled out a long loop of silk rope.

Zack’s eyes got round and huge
right as the big Russian man grabbed him and hog-tied
him.


Well,” said
Elsie. “Zack,
baby
, I’d like to repay you.
Honestly.”


This isn’t right!” Zack squealed.
“Damn you, bitch!”

 


Aww,” Elsie cupped his cheek, and
lightly slapped him twice with her palm and backhand. “You’re so
cute!”


This isn’t over!” he
yelled.

Molly Biggins grabbed him by back
of the hair. She leaned into his ear, and said, “You’re right, it’s
not.”

Zack squirmed, trying to get away.
But the knots Nikolai had made were too strong. Zack flopped
around, like a fish out of water and made a break for the
door.

He didn’t get far.

Nikolai tackled him and threw him
back on the bed. Then proceeded to tie Zack’s right lower leg to
his upper leg, and repeated the same with his left leg.

Elsie smirked, satisfied the king
of douchebags wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.


First order of business,” she
said. “Where is my gun?”


Top left drawer, under the TV,”
said Zack. “Let me go now?”

Elsie opened the drawer, and sure
enough was the Smith and Wessen 9mm.


Come to mommy,” said Elsie,
cuddling the pistol in both hands and kissing it. “Did you miss me,
too?”


Fine, fine,” Zack said,
struggling and squirming against his bonds. “I’ll give you a big
kiss if you loosen me up.”

Elsie pointed her precious gun at
Zack’s head. “Give me a reason not to shoot you,
asshole.”

Kevin clasped his hand on her
wrist. “Honey, we agreed. No bloodshed before the
wedding.”

Elsie groaned. “Okay. But can I
shoot his cell phone?”

Brad held up both hands and
tip-toed to the nightstand, where Zack’s phone was laying. “Wait,
wait. That’s what you brought me for, remember?”


Don’t look at those photos,” said
Elsie, with a playful smirk and a wink. She hoped Brad saw the
wink. “Hate to shoot the best man.”

He chuckled nervously as he played
with the phone. “First, delete all the data. And then reset the
system. And now…” Brad wiggled his fingers. “Abracadabra, I’ve
locked him out of his own phone. The photos are not only gone, he
won’t be taking more anytime soon.”


Aww man,” said Zack. “You’re a
grade A douche, man.”


Thank you, Brad,” Elsie said,
putting her gun back in the holster it belonged to. “My last order
of business is the black book.”

Mom groaned, crossing her
arms.

Zack laughed. “You know what’s in
the mysterious black book? Not what I expected, but hey, I had a
little fun.”


Just tell me where it is,” Elsie
said.


Can’t I make a photocopy of it
first?”

Mom slapped him across the face,
hard enough to leave a handprint. “If the children weren’t around,”
she said, “I’d kill you myself.”


Mother!” Elsie said. “He’s an
douchebag, but… Ah, never mind. Slap him again.”

She did. The hit rang and echoed in
the small hotel room.


In the upper right drawer,”
mumbled Zack.

Elsie looked. Sure enough, sitting
on top was a black, leather-bound book.

The cover had a title imprinted in
gold-leaf lettering:
Molly’s &
Gertie’s Black Book of Adventures
.


Wait,” Elsie picked up the
book.


No, honey,” Mom said.
“Don’t!”

Too late. Curiosity and dread beat
out common sense and curtesy. Elsie opened the black book to a
random page. On each page were full-color photographs of Molly
Biggins and Mom naked, in tantric poses.


Oh,” said Elsie. “Oh.”


Umm, oh,” Kevin stuttered
something non-sense. He grabbed the book out of Elsie’s hands and
slammed it shut. He handed it to Mom. “Guess this is yours, Mrs.
Turner.”


Thanks, dear,” Mom said,
clutching the book to her chest. “And call me Gertrude,
okay?”


Your mother and I have a history
together,” said Biggins, a warm crooked smile breaking her icy
countenance. “Going back to the mid-90s. God those were good years,
da?”


Yes, they were,” Mom said,
wistfully, wiping a tear from her eye. “We self-published this
book. Cost a small fortune in those days.”


Da, but brings back some great
memories.”


Mom,” Elsie said. “Are you both
crying?”


No,” she said, head down, and
stepped over close to Biggins. “Here, Molly. You can have the black
book. It was wrong of me to keep it from you.”

Molly Biggins wrapped her arms
around Mom and brought her in for a bear hug. “Thank you, Gertie.
We have to catch up. After the wedding?”


I’d like that.” Mom returned the
hug, and pecked Biggins on the cheek.

Kevin leaned over to Elsie’s ear.
“Are you crying, too?” he whispered.


Oh shut up,” Elsie smacked him on
the chest.


This is all sappy and shit,” Zack
yelled. “But I’m still here!”


Darling,” said Biggins. “We have
not forgotten you.”


Time to go,” said Mom. “Call me,
Molly. There’s a perfect tea shop downtown.”


I look forward to that,” said
Biggins. She reached into the carpetbag, looking at Zack. “As for
you, I have a long night planned.”


Yawn,” he said. “Just get it over
with Sasquatch.”

Elsie touched Biggins on the elbow.
“You have my blessing to punish him any way you see
fit.”

Nikolai set up the tripod in one
corner of the room, and gave a thumbs up.


Oh we shall punish him,” said
Biggins. From the carpetbag, she pulled out an eight-inch strap-on
dildo and a bottle of lube. “Russian style.”

Zack’s eyes nearly popped out of
his head, as if he were already being anal fucked. He struggled
against the ropes, thrashing, trying to get free. And going
nowhere.


Elsie!” he yelled. “Els! Please,
don’t leave me! I’ll—mmmmph!”

Nikolai stuck a red ball-gag into
Zack’s mouth and tied it behind his head.


Much better, thank you Nikolai,”
said Biggins. “Hmm. Maybe we’ll publish a red book for our new
friend. Da?”


Sounds like a bestseller,” Mom
said, sharing a giggle with Biggins.


Bye asshole,” Elsie patted Zack
on the head. Then she hooked her arms in Kevin’s and Brad’s elbows.
“Come on, boys. Let’s get out of here before things get
nasty.”

When Mom closed the door behind
them, Elsie could still hear Zack yelling through his ball-gag for
help.

And still heard him from down the
hall.

The elevator was thankfully quiet,
except for the requisite elevator music. She pecked Brad on the
cheek, making him blush.

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