Authors: Laura McNeill
Emma twisted her lips in frustration. Did her sister have to have validation all of the time?
“I was twenty when I applied the first time.” Allie lowered her voice. “A lot of things have changed since then. More competitionâ”
“They accepted you before.” Ben brushed away her excuse with a wave of his hand.
“Even if you don't get in,” Emma interrupted, “Mom can keep Caroline and you can still work at Dad's office.” She huffed a sigh, then went back to flipping through the magazine, smoothing down the shiny pages. She examined the lithe models, imagining how one of the gauzy dresses and strappy sandals might look against her skin and thinking it would surely attract some attention at one of the parties on St. Simons.
From the corner of her eye, Emma could see Allie frown and exchange a quick look with Ben. Her sister was such a goody-goody. Such a worrier and, what was worse, upholder of a strict moral compassâa girl who expected everyone else to live by the same impossibly high standards.
And her sister, of course, was too smart to stay in Brunswick. She would get out of this town and would leave everything, including Emma, behind.
A rustling sounded near the shrubs, interrupted the resentment bubbling up in her chest. Emma sat up and ran a hand through her hair as Morgan Hicks stepped between the azaleas, carrying an open bottle of wine. Another girl, a freckled, strawberry blonde, and two guys trailed behind, each making their way through the narrow opening in the landscaping.
“Um, how about using the front door?” Emma asked under her breath.
Allie sat up. “Aw, Em. It's okay, right?”
Morgan kissed Allie's cheek, said hello to Ben, then slid a glance at Emma. “Sorry, we'll call next time.” She winked at one of the guys, who raised a six-pack of beer in response.
“It's fine.” Emma shrugged and heaved up into a sitting position, wiggling her legs so that her feet dangled close to the ground.
“This is Kira.” Morgan slung an arm around the girl's shoulders. “Jack is her boyfriend, this is Alec, and . . .” Her voice slurred and trailed off. She paused, then snapped her fingers. “Chase!” she exclaimed.
“When'd she meet them, five minutes ago?” Emma whispered under her breath. Morgan
did
spend her time shopping and dating Atlanta's most eligible bachelors. Her family made tons of money. She never could decide whether to loathe Morgan or emulate everything she did. Morgan blew hot and cold with Allie as well. She was occasionally overtly cruel to her sister, a trait her sister refused to acknowledge, but one Emma found slightly amusing, especially when Allie was on her last nerve.
“Please be nice?” Allie leaned over to nudge her sister. “Morgan likes you.” She gave Emma's hand a quick squeeze.
Morgan clapped to get everyone's attention. “So, Alec's mom and dad have a place on St. Simons,” she said, arching an eyebrow. “They've bought a new yacht and are docking it this morning.”
Emma pressed her lips tight as Morgan continued her story. There was
always
a story or drama flaunting someone's wealth. Allie and Emma's own father had money, but not that kind.
“So we decided to avoid the commotion and drama and swing through town to see you first.” Morgan struck a pose, hip out, a grin on her red lips, as if she'd just announced an unexpected space shuttle landing in the waves off Sea Island.
“Great,” Allie exclaimed, nodding. “I'm so glad. Mom and Dad
are out at the movies with Caroline. Ben, can you grab some extra chairs? Check the back porch.”
Ben unfolded himself from the hammock and headed for the garage.
Morgan plopped down in a chair and made a wry face. “I haven't seen you in forever!” she exclaimed to Allie, then turned back to the group and smoothed a stray hair from her face. “So, I should make the formal introductions. Kira and Alec are attorneys at my firm. Jack's at the DA's office in Atlanta,” Morgan said with a sly smile. “And my friend, Allie, is going to be a doctor.” She raised her cup in a tipsy salute.
Chase twisted off the cap of a beer bottle. “Just finished my MBA.” He turned to Allie as Ben returned with folding chairs. “So, med school, eh?”
“Hopefully.” Allie suppressed a grin.
Jack tapped his chin, finished off his beer, and pointed at Ben. “What about you? What's your claim to fame?”
Ben hesitated, glancing at the bottle in Jack's hand. “Political advisor.”
Jack sputtered, then laughed. “No way, man. Really?”
“Really.” Ben sat on the hammock next to Allie and began rubbing her arm. He winked over at her. “If Sonny Perdue wins his second term as governor, there's a good chance I'll be tapped to join his staff.”
Allie pulled him close and kissed him. “It's going to be great. And Perdue's going to win.”
Emma pursed her lips and rolled her eyes. If Ben wasn't so darn devoted to her sister, she would have made a move a long time ago. After all, Ben was hot, in a boy-next-door sort of way. But he was different. He had strict ethics, like Allie. He was a straight shooter. And had been positively smitten with Allie since they were little.
Sighing, Emma tried to focus on the conversation around her.
“So, a couple of lawyers, an MBA, one doctor,” Jack was saying, ticking off the careers on his fingers. “That's a pretty good showing.” He paused and swung around to look at Emma, who jumped. “All right, young lady!” Jack stood up and lunged suddenly, pointing in her direction as if he were thrusting a sword at an opponent.
Emma reddened and jerked back, almost falling off her seat. Everyone except Ben and Allie let out a giggle.
After stalking back and forth, rubbing his chin, Jack stopped. “You're a model?” He winked and gave her a long look. “Sure pretty enough to be one.”
Emma softened a bit but rolled her eyes for effect anyway.
Jack tipped his head and pretended to adjust his glasses. “A psychologist? Psychiatrist?”
“She's twenty-one, Jack, not thirty-five,” Allie interjected.
Emma's stomach twisted, and her skin prickled hot.
Stop. Stop. Stop.
She wanted to clap her hand over this guy's mouth. She hated Allie for not telling them to leave right then. Goose bumps rose on her skin. Inside, her sister was probably enjoying it.
“Come on, this is fun,” Jack retorted. He unscrewed another beer bottle and took a long swallow. “How about a pilot? That's it. An airline pilot.” Jack wavered, waiting for applause or confirmation. “Right?”
“Don't,” Ben said, shooting Jack a warning look. “Quit, man. It's not a game.”
Emma sent Jack an icy glare. “Just a lowly office manager at a vet office. Guess you crashed and burned on that one, smart guy.”
2016
Like walking a tightrope on roller skates, everything in Caroline's life felt off-kilter. At any second, she'd swing to one side, lose her balance, and
splat!
on the pavement.
Maybe that would be better, because in the past forty-eight hours, she'd spiraled out of control. Lost all sense of bravery, shut herself up in the house, and managed to lie to everyone she knew.
Caroline lay back on the bed, arms stretched over her head. She stared at the ceiling, connecting specks of dust and dimples in the paint. Trying to make sense of what wasn't making any sense. She was usually logical. And thoughtful. And a good friend.
But when Maddie tried to drag her to the mall, Caroline made up an excuse about doing a favor for her aunt. When her grandparents called and asked her to dinner, suggesting her favorite she-crab soup, she invented a movie get-together with Emma. When her aunt suggested a drive to Jekyll Island to check out the Sea Turtle Center, which she usually loved, Caroline feigned a headache. She'd even refused an afternoon Starbucks run with Jake.
She'd stayed in her room, window cracked, listening to the
rain, the warm air thick and sweet with earthy foliage from the salt marshes. All because she couldn't find the right words. The right time. A proper, reasonable explanation.
Because nothing said “awesome” like your mother getting out of prison.
Interlacing her fingers, Caroline covered her eyes, pressing her thumbs tight into her temples.
Sure, everybodyâall of her friendsâhad awful stuff happen. Maddie's mom was addicted to sleeping pills and painkillers. Another one of her friends had a dad who blew his family's fortune at the dog tracks. The bank foreclosed on their McMansion. They took the cars, her mom's jewelry, even the beds. Jake's dad was an alcoholic and hit him. There were times, according to Jake, his dad would get so wasted he wouldn't remember smashing plates or breaking the TV. One time he ran the family car into a tree.
Caroline decided she'd rather have any one of those problems. Any day. In fact, she'd take all of itâcombinedâover a mother who'd spent the last ten years as an inmate. A parent convicted of killing someone.
She pulled her sleeves past her fingertips and wiped at her damp cheeks.
There would be no tender reunion.
The best she could, she would stay away.
Ignore her. And be invisible.
There was a knock on her bedroom door. Firm. Insistent.
“Caro?” Emma's voice floated through the wooden barrier. “You okay? Can I come in?”
Caroline took a deep breath and adjusted the messy ponytail on top of her head. “Sure.”
Her aunt cracked the door, wide enough that Caroline could see half of her face. Her aunt was her mirror image. The same
chocolate-brown eyes. The same shiny dark hair. “Hey there, sweetheart. Feeling better?”
“Sure. Good enough to do my shift at the nursing home.”
The door opened a few more inches.
“You're positive?” Emma scanned her face. “Want to talk about anything?”
“No, it's okay.” Caroline glanced at the clock, then pushed herself up into a seated position, crossing her legs on the bed.
“If you change your mind . . .” There was a pause, and Emma tried to smile.
“Thanks.” Caroline shifted uncomfortably. She knew her aunt was making every effort to help, and she loved her for it. She would do better tomorrow, she promised herself.
Emma cleared her throat. “And I know you have to go soon, but I brought you a little something.” Her aunt held a small object from behind her back. She stepped forward and placed a gray velvet jewelry box on Caroline's bed.
“Oh, wow.” Pangs of guilt ricocheted through Caroline's body. The room seemed to spike twenty degrees. With Emma watching every move, Caroline carefully picked up the gift, placed it in the center of her open palm, and slowly lifted the top. “Oh, wow,” she repeated, sucking in a breath.
Inside lay a platinum necklace with half a heart edged in tiny diamonds. Her finger traced the delicate chain. For a half moment, she thought it was a mistake. This was for best friends. Or a married couple on those jewelry commercials. Caroline's eyes rose to meet Emma's.
As if sensing the question on Caroline's mind, Emma patted the center of her own chest, where the matching platinum and diamond pendant rested.
Caroline had been so distracted, so focused on her own worry that she hadn't even noticed the new jewelry.
Emma smiled broadly. “See? This way we'll never be apart.”
“Thank you.” Caroline lifted the necklace from the box and secured it around her neck, expecting that her aunt would give her a small lecture about love, trust, and family, but instead, she just hugged her close.
Caroline allowed herself to melt a little in the embrace.
“Have a great first day, sweetheart,” Emma whispered into her ear. She released her and brushed a stray hair from Caroline's cheek. “I'll let you finish getting ready.”
The door closed behind her aunt with a click.
With a final glance at the clock, Caroline reached for her backpack, gathered her belongings, and slung the bag over one shoulder. It was time to go. Time for her first real shift at the nursing home.
Caroline paused to look in the mirror. Her reflection gazed back, so pale and serious that it made her shiver. Maybe, just maybe, if people could see through her skin, they wouldn't like what they saw underneath.
Someone flawed. Someone scared. Not the perfect niece Emma wanted her to be.
She was a girl who smiled on the outside while she died a little on the inside.
A daughter running away to avoid the past.
Caroline's steps made a
slop-slop
sound on the pavement.
The last raindrops dripped from the sky, like someone had squeezed a cloth tight, then let go. The clouds broke apart, torn balls of cotton, and were floating away.
As she walked farther from home, the tension in her neck and back lifted. She could breathe and inhaled deeply, clearing her lungs. It felt better to be outside.
She was needed, she reminded herself. She had a job. Yesterday's orientation had been less than exciting, but everyone was so welcoming and enthusiastic. It almost made Caroline feel as if she belonged.
Water lay in scattered puddles. Caroline picked her way around them, even jumping over the biggest one she could find. Leaping across it made her feel five years old again, and she twirled her umbrella behind her back, stirring the breeze. She liked the way the air smelled after a storm, clean and fresh, unspoiled.
The nursing home doors swished wide, opening a world of entirely different scents. On the first floor, sharp sanitizer filled her nostrils. On the second, baby powder and soap mixed with the dinner menu.
Pot roast tonight
, Caroline thought as she stepped off the elevator and sniffed the air carefully. The aroma of green beans and baked potatoes floated through as she passed the kitchen and headed for the volunteer office to check in. Ten minutes later, Caroline had filled out consent forms and pinned on her volunteer badge.