“I'd like to speak to you privately,” the doctor says to my father. He glances about the kitchen, but his expression doesn't give anything away.
Daddy nods and leads the doctor a short way down the driveway where they can talk alone.
“Well?” I ask Deborah.
She's taking her plate of food out of the oven where I've put it to keep warm. “He says she needs to be in a hospital. Her blood pressure is too high, and the swelling is not good.”
“Do you think Daddy will listen?”
She shrugs. “I don't know. But maybe, because of Colleen.”
“Could she die if she doesn't get help?” Nanette asks, her eyes wide.
“I don't know. But the doctor did ask why she didn't seek medical attention sooner.”
“Then Daddy better take her to the hospital.” Nanette's voice quivers.
Through the window, I watch the two men in the driveway. The conversation seems to be going back and forth, and then I see the doctor put his finger to Daddy's chest and poke him aggressively a few times. Daddy takes a step back, and the doctor straightens his shoulders and returns to his car. “He's leaving,” I tell the others.
A moment later, Daddy is back in the house. He stands in the kitchen doorway, not saying anything. Finally he comes to a decision. “Deborah, go tell Lena to pack a bag for Irene. She'll come with me when I take Irene to the hospital.”
“What is it, Daddy?” Nanette asks, jumping to her feet. “Is she going to be okay?”
Daddy ignores her. “And Deborah, you're in charge here until we return. I don't know when that will be.”
My own heart feels lodged in my throat. Without asking permission, I slide past him and scramble up the stairs to Mother's room. I hear Nanette on the stairs behind me.
Mother looks exactly as I left her. “Daddy's taking you to the hospital,” I tell her.
“He is?” Her room is somewhat cooler than it was this afternoon, but her hair is still wet with perspiration, and her skin is deathly white. The empty glass stands on her night table. I grab it and dash into the bathroom to fill it up.
When I reenter her room, Nanette is sitting on the bed beside her, stroking her huge belly. I help Mother sip from the glass of water. “Should I go get you some dinner before you go?” I ask her.
“No, but thank you, Celeste, and you too, Nanette, for your help. I feel relieved to be going to a hospital, even though it bends the rules of our faith.”
I picture the way the doctor was poking my father in the chest and wonder how close Daddy came to making a different decision.
“Will you stay there until the baby is born?” I ask her.
“I believe so,” she tells me. “But I trust you girls to take care of your little brothers and sisters for me.”
“We will,” Nanette assures her.
I think of telling her that I'll be married in a couple of days, and once I'm married I'll be living at the Nielssons' farm, but decide against it. She has enough to worry about right now, and perhaps this will give me the leverage I need to have the whole thing postponed.
Lena comes into the room, smiles at Mother and puts a fresh nightdress and housecoat into a small bag.
“I think they give you hospital gowns to wear there,” Mother says.
“Oh, but they're not modest. You'll feel much more comfortable in your own things.”
Mother just nods. “Girls, could you help me get dressed for the trip to Springdale?”
She is very shaky on her feet, but once she is dressed, she puts an arm around each of our shoulders and we help
her down the stairs. Daddy has collected the rest of her children in the living room. We settle her into the armchair and gather around her. We hand her Faith and Joan, one at a time, for a little cuddle. Rebecca and the boys are shy around her. It's been a while since she's been involved in their lives.
“I'm going away for a few days,” she tells the boys and Rebecca, “because I need some extra help with this baby.” She rubs her belly. “But I'll be back soon. I know you'll be good while I'm gone. I'll miss all of you.”
“How long?” Rebecca asks. She leans against Mother's legs. I know she longs to be in Mother's lap too, but with the unborn baby and Faith already there, there is no room. I bend over and pick her up.
“Not too long,” Mother says. “It's almost time for the baby to be born.”
“I don't want you to go,” Rebecca whines, and her face crumples as tears stream down her cheeks.
I hug her to me, but she pushes me away and wiggles to be put down. She runs back to Mother's legs and hangs on for dear life.
“We'd best be going,” Daddy says. He and Lena bend over to help Mother out of her chair, but Rebecca won't let go of her leg. She's wailing, which starts the babies crying too. My little brothers just stand back, watching, but their faces are long. “Take this child away,” Daddy barks at me. I pull Rebecca away, astonished at how strong she is. I wrap my arms around her thrashing body and sink into the armchair with her as Lena and Daddy
help Mother out the door. Mother glances back once, but Daddy pulls her forward. Deborah has come into the room to help Nanette with the twins, and Rebecca quits struggling but sobs into my chest. One by one, she is losing her family. First Taviana. Now Mother. How will she feel when I too leave the day after tomorrow? I keep holding her until she cries herself to sleep.
DADDY AND LENA
returned to Unity late last night. The hospital wouldn't let them stay with Mother all night, and having no other place to go, they came home.
The house has been quiet today. Nobody has the energy for bickering. We go about our chores and quietly pray for Mother.
I'm putting clean sheets on the beds in the girls' room when Deborah finds me. She stands in the doorway and watches for a moment. I simply ignore her.
“I understand you've been assigned to Mr. Nielsson,” she says.
I nod and shake a clean sheet over a mattress.
“That's very exciting,” she says, joining me at the bed. “Mr. Nielsson is known to be a kind and caring husband.” She tucks in the sheet and helps me straighten blankets.
“That's what he told me.”
“You could do a lot worse,” she says.
“He told me that too.”
“You don't sound very happy,” she says.
I don't bother answering. She knows why I'm being rushed into marriage.
“Your father asked me to find you something to wear on Sunday,” she says. “Would you like to see it?”
I simply shrug.
“I know your mother will wish she were here, but I guess that's not possible.”
“You don't think Daddy would consider postponing the ceremony until the baby's been born?”
“Apparently not. He asked me to help you get ready for Sunday.”
“What else are you supposed to do?”
“Well,” she says, sitting down on one of the beds. “I'm supposed to talk to you about husband-wife relations.”
I feel my face burn. “I know about them.”
“You do?” Her eyes widen.
“Girls talk. I've heard.”
“Oh.” She looks so relieved I almost laugh. “Well then, I'll bring you the dress later. Let me know if it needs any altering. I don't think it should. It's the same one Pam wore when she married your father, and you look close to the same size. Is there anything else I can do to help you prepare?”
Deborah and I have never gotten along very well, but suddenly I realize that she might be my best hope for delaying my imminent marriage. I sit beside her on the bed. “Deborah, I'm so worried about Mother,” I tell her honestly. “I'm not in a good state of mind to get married. I admit,
I'm not keen on getting married at all, but if I have to, I want it to be as perfect as I can make it.” That part's not quite so honest. “Do you think there's any way you can convince Daddy to delay it for me? I really think it's only fair to Mr. Nielsson.”
She regards me. Then she puts her arm awkwardly around my shoulders. “I'll see what I can do, Celeste. I agree, and it's not really fair for your mother to have her eldest daughter married while she is away like this. I'd want to be there for my daughter.”
“Thanks, Deborah. I knew you'd understand.”
Actually, I didn't expect that at all, but she is a mother of daughters too, so I should have realized she might see it from that point of view.
DEBORAH LOOKS AT
me across the kitchen table at breakfast. She shakes her head and frowns. Then her eyes drop to her plate. I feel the blood drain from my head. Has something happened to Mother?
Daddy turns to me. “I'm going into Springdale to see your mother this morning,” he says. “Perhaps you'd like to come with me so she can give you her blessing for tomorrow's ceremony. Lena will also be coming, and we'll do the shopping while you're with Irene.”
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Deborah had only been telling me that she couldn't get the ceremony postponed. It wasn't bad news about Mother, which is a
huge relief, but now I have no hope of postponing the ceremony. My heart sinks.
This is my last day, ever, of being just a girl. Tomorrow I will be a wife.
I nod at my father. “How soon are we leaving?”
Chapter Eighteen
I
watch Jon's face as he slides the salt and vinegar potato chip onto his tongue. His mouth puckers. “Yuck!” he says and passes the bag back to me.
I smile and continue eating them. It's been fun introducing him to junk food. Mostly he doesn't like it. I don't crave it much anymore either, but it's nice to have the odd treat.
We're at the park in town. I haven't found a job, or a place to live, and my days are running out fast.
“I still don't understand why you don't go back to school,” he says. “We'd be there together, watching out for each other.”
“Trust me, Jon. You'll be fine. I wouldn't be. I've tried it before.”
I was so stoked to see Jon when Jimmy brought him to Abigail's house that I gave him a big hug. It was like seeing an old friend, even though I'd only met him once.
He'd agreed to all of Abigail's rules, and Jimmy was hoping to find him a job in construction for the summer. Abigail figured there was no sense starting school at this point in the spring, but she was going to meet with the school counselors to determine what grade he should start at in the fall. She also hoped to pick up some books for him to study over the summer to help him catch up. He hadn't been in school since he was fourteen.
For the first couple of days he seemed delighted to be at Abigail's. He knew Selig and Matthew and had met Jimmy when Jimmy visited Unity. Abigail showered him with attention. She seemed more comfortable around the boys than she did around me. Jon was amazed by TV and was happy to watch it all day.
He'd been mopier the last couple of days. I suspect the overwhelming truth of what he'd done had sunk in, and he was probably feeling miserable about hurting his family. He would be missing Celeste too, and his home. When he asked me what I thought her father would do to her, I could only shrug. A quick marriage was my best guess, but I didn't tell him that.
I brought him into town with me today to take his mind off things. “Let's go to the library,” I suggest.
He nods and follows me out of the park. I push open the door and the librarian greets me. “Taviana, your card is ready.”
“All right!” I go over to her desk and collect it from her. “Now I can read every single last book in this place,” I say.
She laughs and wishes me luck. I introduce her to Jon. “Would you like to apply for a card too?” she asks him.
He looks to me for assistance. “Yes, he would,” I tell her. “He's new to libraries, but I know he's going to love them as much as I do.”
He smiles and nods at the woman.
She pushes the form across the counter to him. “Just fill it in,” she tells him, “and we'll make you a card, and then you'll be free to read every single last one of the books in this place too.”
Jon's eyebrows arch as he looks around. “Okay,” he says, sounding uncertain.
The librarian and I laugh. “I'll give him a tour,” I tell her.
I show him how the books are separated into categories, as well as fiction and non-fiction. He asks if there are books on cars. I lead him to the right section and leave him there while I browse through the novels. Then I show him the computers. I sit him down at one and attempt to explain how the Internet works. I ask him what he wants to learn about. He thinks for a moment and says, “Inuksuk.” That throws me for a moment, but then I remember Celeste telling me that they were building them together on the beach. I type in the word
inuksuk
, and we watch as a list of sites appear. I show him how to point the cursor at the first site and right-click on the mouse.
A moment later a page appears with photos of all different kinds of inuksuk. I show him how to scroll down to find more information.
“Look at them all,” he says. He looks up at me, standing beside him, a big smile on his face. “This is amazing!” The smile turns sad. “I wish I could show this to Celeste.”
I nod. “You can find a lot of cool stuff on the Internet,” I tell him.
“Are there books on inuksuk too?” he asks
We go to the library catalog, and I show him how to look for them. Then we find our way to the rack where the books on the Inuit culture are shelved. He pulls one after another off the rack. “I'd sure like to read these,” he says.
“Choose two,” I tell him, “and I'll take them out on my card. When you get your own card, you can take out as many as you want.”
Back at the front desk, I pass the librarian the stack of books I plan to borrow with my new card. As she's signing them out for me, she asks if I know of any students who are looking for summer employment.